Rainbow Dash Beat Me at Sonic

My name is Pixel Brightscreen. I'm an earth pony from Manehattan.

And I hate Rainbow Dash.

I hated her since our eyes first locked, sure. But now I hate her more than ever.

We first met in Ponyville. I was buying myself a copy of Pokemon Silver for sale there, because there were no local gaming stores in Manehattan. The store was packed with ponies young and old, bustling about buying games, half of which I knew was just shovelware. (One filly even walked out with a copy of Ninjabread Man.) I finally got to the retro section of the store. There it was, in all its glory- Pokemon Silver. Suddenly a rainbow pegasus snatched it off the shelf.

"Excuse me," I said. "I was about to buy that."

"Well I was faster. And I don't see your hooves on it, so that makes it mine." It would have sounded arrogant, but her voice was surprisingly calm for directly being rude to me. The rainbow pony exited the store.

"Man, what a jerk," I said I had to buy a copy of Pokemon Gold, when I really wanted Lugia on Silver.

But it just so happens I ran into her a second time. I was carrying a new PSP i bought after my old one broke. Suddenly I saw a huge rainbow burst of light crash into me, making me drop my newly bought system and it crashing down onto the floor. I immediately knew who it was. "HEY!" I said, chasing up to her. "GET BACK HERE, um... what's your name?"

All the ponies in the vicinity gasped. "He doesn't know Rainbow?" one stranger said. "Ohmygosh, he hasn't even met Rainbow yet!" another yelled.

"Rainbow Dash?" I said. "Really? That's her name?"

"She's only the BEST PONY EVER," said an orange filly from the crowd. The rest cheered in agreement.

"She just broke my PSP!" I yelled, but no one seemed to be listening. Everyone was just rushing to Rainbow Dash chanting "RAINBOW! RAINBOW! RAINBOW!"

That day I swore that one day I'd beat Rainbow Dash. And months later, I finally found the day.

My brother, Quantum Rocket, ran up to me. "Pixel! Pixel!" he shouted.

"What is it, Quantum?" I asked.

"You have to see this! There's a gaming championship in the Crystal Empire!" he said. "You'd be the perfect player!"

I obliged, happy to join, and knowing I'd crush the competition. When I arrived to sign up to the tournament, I saw my old nemesis in line. "You!" I shouted.

"Heh, uh, who are you?" Rainbow asked.

"You were the one who took my copy of Pokemon Silver!"

"I didn't take it. You clearly could have grabbed it before I did. Oh wait, I'm the fastest pony ever!"

"You arrogant little bitch... You broke my PSP too..."

"Oh, I did? Heh, sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it, pal. I will destroy you in this tournament."

"Good luck! If I know anything about anything, it's video games. Just try to beat me."

"Challenge accepted."

Finally, a week later, it was time to compete. The first game was Team Fortress, and I won with ease. The next, I pummeled everyone in Mario Kart. The third round I won in Banjo-Kazooie. I tracked Rainbow's progress, and she wasn't just good at these games, she was FAST. She got first in Mario Kart by five minutes! Finally, it was down to four people. One had a really long neck and a goatee, one was a weird round red thing with a stem who kept quoting the Bible, and the final one was, of course, Rainbow Dash.

It sucked that the last round was her favorite game ever.

"And announcing the final game in our competition..." the announcer pony said. "SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!"

"Aw, yeah!" Rainbow Dash yelled, and I immediately knew this was rotten luck.

"Whoever can complete Sonic the Hedgehog in the shortest amount of time wins!" said the announcer.

When we got started off, Rainbow and I were neck and neck. Then we reached Marble Zone, and she was barely staying ahead. Spring Yard zone, I was a minute behind. Finally I trailed off at the end in Labyrinth Zone. "That was, like, the easiest thing i've ever done!" Rainbow said arrogantly. My hatred inside for her seethed, and I was so hot felt like I was evolving into Rapidash, the second place trophy in my hand, the first place stolen by an arrogant nutjob.

I had to get back at her. I just needed to train and ask for a rematch. But she was good. Like, REALLY good. How could I compete with that? The only way i could train for those games is to be inside them myselves! But everyone knows that's impossible. Then I remembered- Nothing is impossible if magical unicorns shooting laser beams at each other is common. I just needed magic- but I was a lowly earth pony. How the hell was I supposed to use magic if I don't even have a horn?

Suddenly I thought of an idea. I could get a unicorn to transport me in the game-but it'd require a powerful one. I decided to offer Twilight some bits for me to get me into Sonic the Hedgehog.

Problem is, I don't own a copy.

I never bought it on retail. I owned it on emulator, beat it, and accidentally deleted it. I hoped that Twilight could magic me into it.

"Umm, why do you want to do this again?" Twilight asked me.

"Reven- uh, it'd be fun!" I said. "Here, will you do it for some bits?" I handed her a bag.

"Oh, I don't need pay. I could use a little practice with virtual magic," she said. "What game to you want to go into?"

"Sonic the Hedgehog."

"Okay... where is it?"

"I don't own it."

"You need a physical copy of the game to be transported into it," she said. "Otherwise you'd have to traverse different games in order to find the one you're looking for."

"I'm willing to do a little traveling if it means getting back at he- i mean having more fun," I said.

"Alright. I need a copy of a game. Once you beat it, you'll randomly be taken to a different one," she stated, then handed me a button. "Once you need to back out, press it and I'll magic you back."

"Alright." I placed the first game copy I found in my bag without looking at it. Before I could see what it was, she instantly magicked me into the game.

I saw a bright flash of light. When it was gone, I saw an elderly man standing in front of me.

"Hello, and welcome to the world of Pokemon!" he said.