"Ugh...." Driver stirred. When he opened his eyes, he discovered he was on a bloody hospital bed, an IV hooked up to him. "Wha...." Something landed, dropping from the ceiling. It was a mini Unititan. It crawled onto his barrel, and he felt barely anything. The Titan was that light! Anyways, it climbed onto his cannon all spider-like. His nose twitched. The Titan tapped it lightly, causing his muzzle to scrunch up cutely and his ears to flick. The Titan did what Driver guessed as giggle, which was a high-pitched stuttery gurgle. Driver, needing to do maintenance, used his left hand to grab it's midsection. He lifted it up, and placed her on the ground. He raised his right arm.
[DISCONNECT RIGHT MECHANICAL HAND]
[Y / N]
[Y]
All the electronics connecting his hand to his arm disconnected, followed by the multiple screws to hold it on better. He carefully pulled it off with his other hand, revealing a hoof. He flexed, and felt nothing, where he would usually feel his hand clench. Looking at it, there was a wide-ish hole on the flat end of his hoof. The Unititan looked nervous, and had it's knees pressed together, it's feet spread apart. It was also playing with it's fingers. "You are a she, correct?" It started to emit a high-pitched screech, before stopping and nodding it's head. "Okay. Did you do this? Y' know, bring me here and hook me up to this?" She nodded. "Thanks. I owe you one. I'm gonna sleep." He relaxed his head and was about to close his eyes, but the Unititan crawled onto his barrel again, curling into a ball and resting her head on his cannon. Deciding to leave her be, he rested his right arm on he midsection, and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep.

He woke to find the Unititan standing beside the bed, staring at him. He sat up, saying 'Good morning' to the Unititan. He swung his legs over the bed, standing up. He picked up his disconnected right hand, and walked to a nearby table, which was covered in tools, which he piled to give himself working room. Just before he started to work on it, the Unititan placed a different mechanical hand in front of the broken one. It looked like it was made of brass. Shrugging, he picked it up, and slid it onto his right hoof.
[MECHANICAL HAND DETECTED]
[CONNECT]
[Y / N]
[Y]
He felt the screws go into his forearm, followed by the familiar feel of electronics connecting. After 10 seconds, he clenched, the hand clenching as the feeling of fingers returned. He gave a thumbs up to the Unititan, who cheerily clapped a few times. He studied the new hand, and he discovered that it had a mental command. Using it, a blue meter appeared on his HUD, and the hand crackled with lightning. Looking back at the Unititan, she was holding an ARC Shotgun, but not his. His had '1887' painted on it in big fucking block letters. This one looked rustic, but was definitely an ARC Shotgun. He took it, and loaded 5 ARCrystals into it, working the lever on the last bullet. She turned, drawing a keycard, sliding it down the slot, opening the door, which led to a hallway going left. He walked forward, poking his head out the door. When he stepped out completely, he felt the Unititan climb onto his back, holding onto his shoulders. He didn't care, and started walking down the halls. After a few minutes, he came across a cassette player. ".....Fuck video games." He pressed play.

The boss encouraged we keep audio logs, and leave them all over the place. Why? We don't know, nor care. She also said the logs must have information about the Factory, so.....About a year ago, we decided 'Hey, why don't we create small Titans?', so of course, that one crazy dumbass, Something Von Driver, decided he'd do it. Yeah, it didn't go well, as you can probably tell.

The log ended, so Driver continued, having to kill another Minotitan. How? Well, he shot it several times in the face and electrocuted it. The ARCane bolts melted through his head, allowing him to shock the Consciousness beneath, killing him. Moving on, he found another log.

My second log. The subjects, which we named after the Bioshock unit, Big Daddies, actually, I think that's why she wants us to make these logs.... anyways, they went insane in their search for Spectra. Naturally, we modified pagasi to be able to gather Spectra from dead bodies. The big Daddies killed them, so we scrapped that, and moved onto the next. We made a 'Big Sister', who can extract Spectra, and is much more mobile. And they're light as fuck. And cuddly towards the other Consciousnesses in the facility. Odd.

He continued walking, eventually finding yet another log. Deciding to save it for later, he attached it to his utility belt, along with the other 7 he came across. "Well, we're almost outside." Driver said, looking over his shoulder at the Unititan who stared back. "I'm guessing you'd like to come with me?" She nodded enthusiastically. "Okay. And, we're he-..." There was 3 Big Daddies, or Minotitans. ".....Ah....Fuck." They turned instantly, roaring. The Unititan jumped off, and Driver used the force exerted on him downwards to propel himself into a roll. He jumped, going over the barely missed melee attack. He landed behind the first Daddy, drawing his sword and severing the Spectra tank. He Stabbed the Daddy, impaling him, and pulling the sword upwards, killing it. He rolled forwards, dodging another melee from the second. Getting back into a standing position, he spun, and saw the second Daddy charging him, as well as the Unititan holding onto the third's Spectra tank, unloading her Light Liner Rifle into the back of it's head. After 7 shots, it died, but not without throwing her off, and she hit the ground, but got up quickly. Driver ducked, avoiding an attack, and thrusted his blade forward, impaling the Titan through the stomach. The Titan hit him in the back, breaking nothing, but holy shit, did it hurt. Driver twisted the blade, and the Titan hit again, dropping Driver to his knees. Before he could swing a third time, his arm was sliced off by the Unititan. Driver ripped his sword out, swing it and slicing the other off. the Daddy dropped to his knees, and Driver decapitated him. *Thunk* the corpse hit the ground.

"SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" The Unititan cheered, and Driver joined her, whooping.

"Whooo! Okay..." Driver paused to catch his breath. "Now....we go...I'm sick of this place already." The Unititan walked beside him, rubbing his back to soothe the pain. "Ugh...thanks." They made it outside. Blaze was there, playing cards with a Pegasus Consciousness whom was bloody and battered. "Yo. I'm alive." Blaze dropped the cards.

"Holy shit! Where were you? And who is that?" Blaze yelled worriedly.

"I was in that fucking place. The Big Daddy, as those Minotitans are called, and the one you killed was alive. And it punched me into the Cloudcrete wall, cracking it. I had to use my emergency ARC Blaster on my right hand, so I got a new one, with the Electro Bolt Arcmid. Cool, huh? Also, this is a Unititan Big Sister, who is very cuddly towards me. She dragged me to the medical ward of that place, healed me, and waited for me to wake. She gave me a new Mechanical Hand, and a new ARC Shotgun." Driver explained.

"....What happened to your old one?"

"That Big Daddy you killed broke it. Also, me and her had to kill 4 more. 'Bout you?"

"I only encountered this individual. Uhh.... Starlight Breeze, Astronomer."

"You have to be fucking kidding me!"

"I'm not."

"...UUGGHHH!!!! Let's just get back to base. Also, she's coming with me."

"Sure."

Author's Note

Well, that was uneventful and full of exposition, but oh well.

Play Dwarf Fortress.