To Babysit a Crusader

The six ponies continued walking forward, as Twilight said they should, through this odd white hallway they'd gotten into after walking into the portal. Well, maybe it wasn't a hallway, but rather a void of pure white. Either way, the walk was odd, and it had already been several minutes since they left Equestria.

"This is taking longer than I thought it would..." Rainbow Dash mumbled.

"That may be so, but we gotta be patient, and keep walkin'," Applejack told her.

And so they did. They walked...and walked...and walked...and-

"Is this gonna be much longer? Ah'm gettin' tired o' just walkin'," Apple Bloom complained.

"And I'm getting bored!" Scootaloo added.

"And my hooves are getting quite achy," Rarity whined (err, 'complained').

"How long did Twilight-" Was all Sweetie Belle could get out before being interrupted by Applejack.

"Quiet!" Applejack yelled. "If ya'll would just quit complainin'," the cowpony said as she got up front and faced the group, "then the trip would be much faster!"

Rainbow Dash's eyes went wide. "Look!" She said as she pointed a hoof past Applejack. Behind the orange pony was another portal; the end to the little journey.

Applejack glanced behind her. "Well lookit that! See? Patience pays off!" she said proudly. She turned around and lead the group towards the end portal.

The six ponies kept walking, except this time, they saw a difference in the void. The more they moved, the more the portal came closer. Eventually, it was so close, that the ponies just fell through it (Hey, they didn't know where exactly they had to stop moving and jump through. It looked like they could just walk through it!).

They each landed on the ground in the other dimension with an "Ouch!" or an "Oof!" or something along those lines.

"Everypony alright?" Applejack asked as she dusted herself off.

The Crusaders were the first to get up.

"We're okay," Sweetie Belle stated, speaking for the three Crusaders.

"I'm good," Rainbow Dash said as she got up off the ground.

Rarity, however, got up with a small jump back and a shriek. "Eugh! I almost got in that mud!" She yelled.

Typical Rarity. At least she was fine. Wait, mud?

It was then that the ponies took notice of how hard it was raining. That, and how dark it was. A  flash of lightning lit the sky as a low boom of thunder rolled through.

"What crazy pegasus do you think made this storm?" Rainbow Dash yelled out.

They had to get out of this rain, and fast. The small neighborhood they had entered was full of houses they could choose from (both to get out of this rain and initiate the test), but they couldn't be picky. That's why they decided to just choose the one in front of them. A big, two story house, painted a dark green.

"Come on ya'll!" Applejack shouted as she led the group to the front door of the house. She gave three knocks, and waited for an answer...

--

Sweet, sweet, solitude. I don't know how, but I lucked out. My family decided to finally go on that Wisconsin vacation, and my mother actually gave me the choice of going. I have to remind my mom how much I love her when she gets home with the rest of the family. My family was big, what with three brothers, a sister, and three cats, (plus a friend of my brother who practically lived here!) and that obviously left little time for my delicious silence and alone time (the cats are fine to be around, though).

But I finally have it. I'm alone in this house, and I will be for about two more days. I honestly don't know what I'd do if something just so happened to INTERRUPT this peace. My quiet time was extremely valuable to me, after all, and I wouldn't appreciate someone taking it from me.

I almost managed a real smile as mother's words from the day they left replayed in my mind. "We'll be gone for about six days, Wyatt. You sure you can handle being on your own?"

"Positive," I had replied back to her.

It's not like I don't like my family (no matter how much the opposite seemed true to everyone), but with a family as big as mine, stupid arguments were bound to break out. A lot. And I really do tire of hearing some kind of stupid 'Hey I'm first for the *insert anything that requires waiting here*!' and things similar to that. I was the second oldest of the children, so if my mother or older brother weren't around, I'd have to deal with the fight (and it never turned out well either!). Believe me, for someone who'd like nothing more than peace and quiet, it didn't come much around here.

So I bet you're wondering, what is a lazy 17 year old boy to do at his home, alone for six days, with a computer staring him down with a blinding gleam bright enough to melt out your eyes? Why, read fanfiction of course! (What, did you think I was watching porn all that time? Pfft, you're such a dumbass). To be exact, I was reading My Little Pony fanfiction. What can I say? I was a brony (Though maybe not as enthusiastic as other bronies. I never really was enthusiastic. Pessimism galore!). I've seen every episode, and I always loved 'em. I'm still excited for the next season, too! So to also show my love of PONE, I became an avid reader of fanfiction (that is, I became one after Ponibooru shut down).

"Oh Pinkie Pie, you're so oddly entertaining," I remarked as I read a sentence.

So here I was, sitting in my comfortable computer chair in my cozy little living room, in front of this computer desk and computer, alone. At least, I think the the living room is cozy. We've got a giant TV in it, but the loveseat and couch placed across from each other, the coffee table in between them, and the recliner chair all balanced it out.  It was also nice that there weren't doors to the kitchen/dining room, but rather big openings in the wall.

The kitchen was nice and cozy too. Then there was the bathroom, tiny as it was, that one could enter by walking through the left side of either living room or kitchen. Facing the bathroom was the staircase to the basement, one of the places I loved most. In the left side of the living room was a staircase to a second bathroom and three bedrooms (the one me and two brothers shared, my sister's, and my mother's). To top the cozy and peaceful air off, there was no noise (except for the music playing from the computer as I read).

This was my paradise, and I'd still have this for two more days (which by the way, included today. So technically, I had until tomorrow night). And with the luck I've had for the past week, nothing could go wrong!

...were those knocks at the door? Hold on.....yeah, they were. Who could be here? I already informed ALL (and I literally mean ALL) of my sister and little brother's friends that they weren't here.

I got up, and walked towards the door. "Who the Hell could be here in this rain?" I said as I headed towards the door. Although, I couldn't talk, because I was just as likely to run around in the rain. I loved rain.

I got to the door, opened it to the screen door behind it, and looked through. Sitting on my porch were...ponies? No wait, my glasses are foggy. I took them off, wiped them on my plaid/blue button up shirt, and put them back on.

...now they looked like the ponies from Friendship is Magic. Am I seeing things? I knew my eyes were bad, what with needing glasses and all, but I didn't know they were THIS bad! Man, I need to-

"Are ya just gonna stare at us, or are you gonna let us in?" the one who looked like Rainbow Dash asked.

"Now Rainbow Dash, don't be rude," the one that looked like Rarity snapped. "I think if this fine gentleman," (at least she knew I was a guy. My long-ish hair got me mistaken for a girl a couple times) "needs persuasion, charm should work just fine."

She looked to me, pushed her hair back, and gave me what I would call a seductive look.

"Oh sir, if you would kindly let us in, it would be greatly appreciated. We're just oh so cold and wet from this dreadful rain, and we'd like to get dry and warm." She batted her eyelashes at me as she finished the last sentence.

Nope. Nope. Nope, this wasn't happening. I pinched myself. Nope, awake. Maybe it wasn't that I was dreaming, but the opposite. Maybe I was hallucinating from lack of sleep! I never did get enough of the stuff. I should go to bed earlier. Despite all the things I was thinking, I threw out a question, just to make sure they really were here (And to make the possibility that this was actually happening valid).

"Are...are you actually there...? Am I seeing things right?"

Applejack seemed to take that as a chance to introduce themselves.

"Yes sir, you are seein' things right! We're from a land called Equestria. Mah name is Applejack. This is Rainbow Dash," She pointed to Dash as she introduced her, and did the same with the others, "This here's Rarity, mah little sister Apple Bloom, Rarity's sister Sweetie Belle, and their friend Scootaloo. Why would ya ask a question like that?"

She responded. ...she responded? I was actually having a conversation with a candy colored equine! From a TV show! Welp, I'm insane. But hey, until someone decides to bring me out of this weird mental state, I'll play along.  I decided to grab my brother's laptop and use it to pick a video out of this playlist I made on YouTube called 'Reaction Videos' (for when I have no words and the time just calls for some kind of wacky reaction...).

"'Scuse me a minute," I said as I walked away.

The ponies all looked in through what they could see in the screen door. I came back with the laptop, showed it to them, and played a video that summed up my reaction.

...The ponies just stared intently at the laptop. And they did it for an uncomfortable amount of time too. Did I just break their minds or something? Was there something about the video to them that made it so entrancing?

"Whoa..." I heard Scootaloo say.

"How did you do that?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked annoyed.

"How did you get that guy on a screen like that?" the orange pegasus filly asked, pointing at the laptop.

Then it hit me; these ponies weren't as advanced in technology as humans. Of course they were amazed at something as small as a YouTube video. Not being in an explanatory mood however, I only gave a small answer.

"It's this thing called the Internet. I'll explain later," I said as I put away the laptop.

I could see their curious looks become disappointed ones at the mention of the word 'later'. Sucks for them that I don't feel like explaining. Applejack decided to re-state her question from earlier.

"Why's it so weird that you're seein' us sir? Ya'll never seen a pony before?" I honestly didn't know how to react, so I just went with what popped into my mind.

"I've never seen your kind of pony before. I've never met one that talked to me either. To me, something like this shouldn't even be happening, so this experience has been quite shocking." They gave me odd looks.

"You've never met a pony that talks?" Rarity asked me. I pinched the bridge of my nose. This was getting on my nerves. I had to avoid explanation after explanation!

"No, okay? I haven't met a pony that talks."

"You sound irritated," Rainbow Dash decided to state.

"I am irritated, because it'd be hard explaining how things work around here to you damn ponies! There are SEVERAL reasons as to why you shouldn't even be here!" I yelled out, losing my cool. All six of them eyed me curiously, and I could tell they were oblivious to the SEVERAL reasons as to why they shouldn't be here.

"Um...why shouldn't we be here?" Sweetie Belle asked, cute and curious as ever.

I shouldn't have yelled that out. If I told them that they were from a TV show (and considering their reaction to my brother's laptop, they probably wouldn't even know what a TV was) the world just might implode or something. That, or they'd ask even MORE questions. Either way, I wouldn't win.

"Forget I said that," I told Sweetie. I opened the door to my house. "Just get in here."

They all walked in, each younger sister by their respective older one (Or in Scootaloo's case, #1 fan next to idol). Once they were all in, I sat myself down in the recliner, and gestured for them to sit on the couch. They all looked around curiously, seeing the odd pieces of furniture in my house. They saw the giant screened TV, the computer, and everything in between. They looked slightly amazed, the children more than the adults, at this odd technology that I had.

"So my first question, upon my mountains worth of them, is what you're doing here exactly," I said with a touch of curiosity and absolute bewilderment. The mares looked unsure as to what they should say. It seemed like they weren't comfortable with telling me why they came here, and I wondered why. Applejack was the first to speak up.

"Well, Ah know this is rude and completely outta the blue, but uh...could you watch these three fillies fer us?" She gave me an awkward grin, and she had good reason for it.

I stared her down. Oh, and I mean that by giving her one of the most anger filled yet blank minded stares that could exist in reality. Why!? I had a bad feeling in my gut when I saw the Crusaders here, and I figured something like this might happen! I really didn't like kids, and if these three were just as bad as they were in the show, I'd be in for one Hell of a night. In reaction to this, I grabbed my brother's laptop again, went under that lovely reaction videos playlist, and played the same video as earlier.

"Yes. Ah'm serious," Applejack replied sternly after the video ended, not even so much as flinching. They weren't as mesmerized by it as they were last time. Dammit. I thought the video would somewhat take their minds off what exactly their plan was. I sighed and asked another question, as if I just accepted that I was going to have to do this.

"For how long...?" There was a bit of apprehension in my voice, as if I feared the answer.

"We're only asking for you to watch them for about tonight and a bit tomorrow," Rarity answered.

I shot her a skeptical look. "How long is 'a bit'?"

"Just until tomorrow evening. Probably about three hours or so after the time right now."

"So basically, almost two whole days?" The anger in my voice was steadily rising.

"Well dear, if you'd like to put it that way...yes." I can't blame her for trying to make it sound nicer, since even before they came in, I already gave off this air of 'I'm not a happy-go-lucky person'. Sure, I've already had four days to myself, but since alone times like this only occurred every eon, I wanted to take all the time I could get. The worst part was the time span she mentioned. It was 4:00 P.M. right now, and my family would be coming home around 7:00 P.M. tomorrow. That would mean these last two days are wasted! I could, however, just say no to the request, but that'd probably yield bad consequences.

Firstly, it'd mean I'd be sending them back into the pouring rain. Second, if they went to any other house, the cops would probably be called and there'd be some kind of incident. They could be taken away, or they could just be killed on the spot (Honestly, they're lucky to have run into someone who watches their show). In short, I've been forced into this by the powers that be (God, The Universe, The Fates, you pick).

I cleared my throat. "Wait right here, 'kay?" I said, almost letting my rage out prematurely. And with that, I proceeded upstairs. I entered my room, closed the door behind me, and then it began.

The ponies couldn't exactly understand what I was saying (or yelling at the top of my lungs, for that matter), but there were some traces of some things like why someone named 'God' had cursed me with this, several swear words (the fillies' ears were covered, I'd assume), and a few over dramatic and exaggerated sobs. I then left my room, walked back down the stairs, and sat in the chair like nothing happened.

"Yeah sure, I can do it," I said calmly.

--

The ponies stared at the human as he gave all of them a stare that would be enough to pierce a thousand souls. The scarier part though, was that he just stood as still as a statue, barely breathing.

"Uh, you okay?" Rainbow Dash asked as she waved a hoof in front of the human's face. That seemed to snap him out of his stupor.

"Yeah sure, I can do it," He answered calmly.

--

"Thank ya kindly stranger. Ah know it's odd an' all to just randomly ask somepony ya don't know with this task, so Ah also wanted to say sorry," Applejack answered sincerely.

I only shot her a small glare. "I'm on varying degrees of forgiveness right now lady. Just hope this doesn't come back to bite you in the ass."

Applejack gave me a confused glance. "Bite me in the donkey?"

"Never mind."

The Cutie Mark Crusaders, who were pretty quiet up until now, shouted at the top of their lungs, "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS SLEEPOVER AT..." Clueless looks came over their faces before they finished.

After recovering from the outburst, Rarity asked, "That reminds me. Could we please have the name of the generous stranger who's watching over the fillies?"

"Yeah. We introduced ourselves, but you didn't," Rainbow Dash added.

I wondered if I should give them my name, since this might go horribly wrong and they'd come after me for it. Then again, they already know where I live, so why not?

"Wyatt. Just call me Wyatt."

"...SLEEPOVER AT WYATT'S HOUSE! YAY!" The three fillies sat there grinning, as if they had done nothing ear-shatteringly loud. I shot them a glare, then shuddered as I realized I'd have to deal with these three for almost two days. What have I gotten myself into? I looked at Applejack with an expression of a desperate beggar.

"You swear you'll come by at least around 7:00 tomorrow night?" I slightly moved my face into hers, to make the point that I wasn't exactly in the greatest mood clear. Applejack took a couple steps back, looking unsure of what I would do if she didn't comply.

"Ah swear."

I looked at her a moment, then remembered the factor that was the reason for all of this.

"By the way, why do you want me to look after these three? What exactly are you doing that's SO important that you have to leave them here?"

Applejack glanced around nervously. She never was a good liar. That's when Rainbow Dash took over.

"We're just uh...too busy with errands and big projects to look after them. Yeah, that's it." Oh Rainbow Dash, even you sometimes suck at lying.

"But you're not even related to Scootaloo," I said with a devilish smirk to blue pony.

"Uh, her parents put her into my care when I said I'd give her flying lessons. They're busy," Rainbow hastily added.

"Wait, how did you know they weren't related?" Rarity asked, turning the tables on me (Oh fuck you, Rarity).

I had to think of something quick, something they'd believe. I said the first thing that came to mind. "They don't look alike. At all." I said, showing no signs of lying. The three adult mares moved in closer to my face. They gave me hard looks, and I returned them. No way was I going to be beaten in a battle of...lying? Wits? I dunno. I just wasn't going to be beaten in something that involved brain power by colorful, miniature horses (Except Twilight Sparkle, if I ever met her. Facing her in a battle of wits would be a death wish). "The Hell are you staring at? They don't look alike. Now quit it," I said, ready to shove all three of them away from me, if needed.

Slowly but surely, they backed up, keeping their eyes glued to me, stern expressions still on. After a couple moments of this continuing, they finally stopped, ready to continue what they were doing before.

"We'd best get goin' then," Applejack stated.

"Wait, where are you going?" I asked the three.

"Just to the same place we came from," Rainbow Dash answered.

"Back out into the rain? I thought you wanted to get out of it." I asked. They didn't give an answer, probably because they couldn't come up with some random excuse on the fly.

With that, they headed for the door. Not wanting that stare down to be my last impression before seeing them again, I got up, walked to the door myself, and held it open for them. As they walked out, all three of them gave their thanks (for both the door holding and for taking this giant task I'd been cursed with) and went...somewhere. I wasn't paying attention, and next thing I knew, they were gone. I turned around and looked at the Crusaders, who were all smiling at me. Weird how quiet they were during the whole confrontation. Hope it stays that way, which I doubt will happen.

"So, what do we do first?" I asked the three, afraid of how they might answer.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER TECHNOLOGY INVESTIGATORS!" They yelled. (Prediction correct.)

The three zoomed right up to the TV and pressed the buttons on it, all the while asking out loud things like: "Ooo, what's this do?" and "What is this thingie?" and anything else that might come from a curious child's mouth.

"Whoa, wait stop!" I yelled as I rushed over to them. As soon as I reached them though, they bolted to the computer (which was right next to the TV) and played around with the mouse and keyboard, cooing the same questions as earlier. All of their typing sent me to a random web site on the Internet, which probably wasn't appropriate for them (kinda like that time I put 'mmmmmm' into Google Images).

"If you'd just-!" I sputtered as I ran over to the computer. The three ran off again, but not before grimacing at what appeared on the computer screen. Before giving chase again, I went back to where I was on the Internet before the Crusaders took me to that weird site. Unfortunately, I had no idea where the three tornadoes could've ran off to. I didn't see which direction they headed, and I certainly didn't hear hoofsteps around me anymore.

"Sunuva bitch," I said out loud as I decided to check upstairs (since the light for the hallway up there was blinking on and off). I ran up the staircase, past the little ledge/counter that had my cat Smokey on it, and found the three playing with the light switch.

"Alright stop!" I yelled at them.

As expected, they tried running again. What wasn't expected, however, was when Sweetie Belle bumped into the ledge, dropping Smokey off of it. Now, Smokey wasn't exactly the nicest cat. He could be nice at times, but he had a foul temper. It wasn't very hard for him to get pissed off at little things, and that bump and drop was just one of those little things. Before Sweetie could run down the staircase, she was scratched on the side by that stupid cat.

"YOW!" She yelled out in pain.

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom heard their friend's cry and turned around to see what happened, only to get scratched themselves, Scootaloo on her right cheek and Apple Bloom on her left foreleg. Both cried out from the scratches as Smokey readied for another. He, however, was stopped by me. The Crusaders rubbed their wounds and watched as I grabbed Smokey by the scruff of his neck.

"This is what happens when things get hyper. Someone always gets hurt," I said as I eyed the girls. My attention turned to Smokey, who was wiggling to get out of my grip, meowing. Giving him an evil stare, I walked down the hallway, opened the door to my bedroom, and tossed him in. I slammed the door shut before he could run out. I returned to the girls, who were surprisingly in the same place where I left them.

"Owwwch..." I heard Scootaloo mutter as she continued rubbing the scratch.

I sighed. "Come on you three. I'll get you fixed up." I began to walk down the stairs, and the Crusaders followed.

We reached the foot of the stairs, took a left, and walked into the bathroom door. Switching on the light and turning to the three, I could see their wounds more clearly. They weren't deep scratches, and there wasn't much blood running from them either, so they'd be easy to treat. I opened the cabinet underneath the sink, and grabbed rubbing alcohol. Then I opened up the medicine cabinet and grabbed some bandages, then some q-tips from on top of the cabinet, and turned back to the three, who were only watching me.

"Who's first?" I asked.

Apple Bloom proceeded to walk ahead of the girls. "Ah am," She said, putting on a brave face.

I sat down on the toilet, picked her up (she's a lot lighter than I thought!) and set her on my lap. Out of caution, I grabbed her tighter than I think I should have. As I dipped the q-tip into the alcohol, I warned Apple Bloom. "This is gonna sting." I applied pressure from the q-tip to her wound. She slightly jumped, but shockingly, she was calm (by the display the three showed earlier, I'd expect her to be all over the place). After all was said and done, I applied the bandage to the wound.

"There. All better." I said as she jumped off my lap.

"Ah can feel it healin' already!" She remarked.

Up next was Sweetie Belle. I threw away the q-tip and retrieved a new one. She surprised me by just jumping onto my lap (I guess after watching Apple Bloom, she figured she'd know what to do). The whole process was the same, except Sweetie jumped more than Apple Bloom when it came to applying the alcohol.

Finally, it was Scootaloo's turn, and she wasted no time getting on me (considering how she seemed to jump right on as soon as Sweetie got off). Again, the process was pretty much the same, except I had to take extra caution not to accidentally stick the q-tip in Scoot's giant eye (considering her wound was pretty close to it). After cleaning up, I turned to face the girls.

"Now then, I think maybe it would be better if you played around in the basement instead of up here. Because ya see, the basement is meant for playing around. Up here, you're supposed to be quiet." I motioned for them to go into the door behind them, and down the staircase. The three looked down said staircase.

"It's kinda dark down there..." Sweetie remarked. In response, I flipped the switch right next to the door, which turned on a light.

I looked down to the unicorn filly. "Better?"

She chuckled awkwardly. "Yeah." The four of us proceeded down, and I turned on another light for them. The basement was just like a second living room to me. It had a nice couch, a TV across from it, two lamps next to the couch, and two chairs next to those lamps. There were two doors across from both of the chairs, which led to the shower room and my older brother's bedroom (although he always slept on the couch out here. Weird huh?).

"As long as you don't cause massive amounts of damage down here, you'll be fine," I said as I headed for the stairs.

"Wait!" Apple Bloom called out to me. "What're we supposed ta do down here?"

I really didn't want to keep dealing with them, so I made the explanation as quick as possible. "Toy box is behind you, plastic building bricks are under the computer desk, don't go into any of the other rooms, don't touch the TV, don't touch my lego weapons, and don't touch any outlets. Have fun!" I began my trek back upstairs.

"But-!" Was all I heard from Scootaloo before I closed the basement door.

--

Back in the library, Twilight had explained everything that was going on to Spike after the small shock he had received from seeing a giant portal in the library. He barely understood it, and assumed it was Twilight just being herself and doing some crazy experiment.

Later, the three mares came back through said portal, and joined in observing the test through a small rift that Twilight had created to monitor the whole thing. The group had just seen Wyatt leave the Crusaders to fend for themselves in the basement, and though impressed by Wyatt's care to the fillies' wounds earlier, Twilight frowned, disappointed by Wyatt's actions as shown.

"That'll deduct a couple points..." Twilight said as she made a few marks on a chart.

Lyra, still having hope that the human would turn, only gave Twilight a sad look and shook her head. She really wished that they didn't have to watch this whole thing like Wyatt was a test subject. All she wanted was to meet this guy and befriend him.

"He certainly appears to be...selfish at times..." Rarity said. Being the Element of Generosity, she'd know exactly how to point out a selfish person.

"Yeah. How could he just lock the three in the basement?" Rainbow Dash added.

"It was nice seein' him care for the scratches n' all, but this may turn my opinion of him south," Applejack commented.

"Come on girls!" Lyra shouted. "Have more hope in this guy! Don't assume he's bad just because he did one thing! Quit judging him so harshly!"

The others looked around, a bit embarrassed. Maybe they were a little hard on Wyatt (they had just come back and were already ripping on him). He was foalsitting their sisters (and Scootaloo), so they may have just been being overprotective. Then again, there was the possibility that they weren't being too hard on him, and their thoughts and opinions would be completely justified. Either way, the test was still in action, and there was plenty to still observe.

All of the mare's gazes went back to the rift, which showed Wyatt sitting back down at the computer, and the Crusaders looking bored in the basement...