Equestria Noire Case #1: The Royal Guard Case

"No disrespect Twilight, but what makes you think you can just join me on a case, when you have absolutely no experience in the field of detective work?" I asked her. She looked at me with some hostility in her eyes. Like I offended her about something.

"Well, Mister Shadow, I'll have you know that Ponyville is my home. I may be a princess, and do a lot of work in many parts of Equestria, but Ponyville is my home overall. And since it is my home, I feel like I should know when something really bad has happened here. And should help out in any way I can. So, I'm sorry if I didn't clue you in on it, but wether you like it or not, I'm helping out on this case." She told me looking very cross.

I could tell she wasn't gonna change her mind. I guess I'll just have to deal with it. For now. "*groan* Your not gonna take no for an answer, are you?" I asked her. She smiled and shook her head.

"Fine. But, I'm gonna lay down some ground rules, if you want to work with me."

"Fair enough."

"Number one, I'm in charge. I lead this case, I question suspects, and, at the end, I decide who's guilty and faces justice."

"Okay."

"Number two, don't allow your personal feelings to get in the way of this case."

She looked at me all confused. "What do you mean?" She asked.

"Meaning, if your a friend or loved one of somepony, and they happen to be a suspect, don't automatically assume that they aren't. Conversly, don't automatically point hooves at somepony you don't like, and label them a suspect when you have no physical evidence or proof that they are one. Cause I could disbar you with prosecutorial misconduct." I explained to her.

"Well, I promise detective, but I'll let you know this: If one of my friends is framed for something, I will do anything to clear their name. Cause I know them. And they aren't criminals." She told me.

"And, if it is proven that they are?" I asked her.

"They aren't." She exclaimed. I could tell she was getting pissed.

"You didn't answer my question. If I find legitimate evidence and proof that they did indeed do the crime, will you be professional and allow me to arrest them? I'm not asking this to mess with you Twilight, I'm asking to see if your a mare of your word." I told her. I know it seemed kind of like a dick move to do that, but I need to know.

She was silent for a long couple seconds, with an added angry scrunch on her face, before she sighed and said, "If you do that, then I'll promise to let you do your job. Even though I'll hate myself for doing so." She said.

I smiled. I'm glad she was gonna be professional at this. I can't work with somepony who let's their personal feelings get in the way. I've seen it happen before, and it always ends bad.

"And, lastly, number three, do not go the national media. This is the big one Twilight. If we do have a suspect, do not say their name to the media. If we have anypony in custody, we keep their name anonymous. We'll only reveal the suspect's name when we are absolutely 100% positive that they are the suspect. Cause, if we did that, and it turns out they didn't do it, we will ruin lives, Twilight. Now do you understand?" I said to her, who was now looking a bit surprised at me. Yeah, probably my biggest enemy, as well as the police force overall, was the National Media. They will take a story, without any facts or evidence or proof, and turn it into a big sensation, which will create cash for their grubby little pockets.

She nodded. "Yes, Shadow, I understand."

"Good. Now, take me to the crime scene."

She nodded in agreement as we walked to our destination. She looked over at me and smiled all giddy like for some reason. I was kinda weird.

"What?" I asked her.

"Well, It's just, I've always wanted to solve a mystery from the books I read. It's kind of fun and exciting." She told me.

"Well, once you really get into detective work Twilight, well, let's just say that the way most of your mystery stories end, they're not realistic on an actual case like right now. So, be prepared for for the absolute worst. Cause it may happen." I told her. I didn't intend to scare her. I was just telling the truth. Sometimes, cases don't end always end with the criminal going to jail and the victim seeking justice. It's sad, but it happens.

I think I did concern Twilight a little when I said that, due to the look she gave me. She didn't say anything, but I could read faces. And it read "nervousness."

We eventually made it to the Sofa shop. And, apparently, lots of ponies must have heard about what happened. Cause there was a huge crowd of ponies at the entrance of the alleyway near the Sofa shop. They were being blocked by a few police ponies who were there as guards.

However, the worst thing I saw among the crowd, was ponies with TV cameras, microphones, and picture cameras. One of the cameras read "Ponyville News Station" on it. Ah Fuck. Ponies from the media are here. They're gonna wanna know what's going on here. But not to help out the poor victim here. No no. They just want to create a big time story for ponies to feed into. It's how they make money.

I also could hear a few comments made by a few of the ponies in the crowd. Comments like...

"Celestia, that guy looks like a demon."

"Wait, that's the detective guy?"

"I was expecting somepony with a little more class. Guess I was wrong."

"He looks creepy as hell. I don't want him anywhere near my kids."

....Yeah, I get a lot of comments like that. I'm used to it by now. Still pisses me off, but I'm used to it.

Me and Twilight entered the crime scene, thanks to the police ponies who opened up the "No Crossing" yellow tape. We saw some young looking stallion, who looked to be my age, about 24 or 25 years old. He got up from the body and...

.... Celestia Help Us All.

This Royal Guard was still a fairly young looking dude. He looked about 28 or 29 years old. He looks to be stabbed at least three times. Once in the chest, which might be fatal, and two other times in his upper torso. He also looked to have had his head bashed in from behind. Somepony must've really wanted this poor guy to suffer. But why?

Anyway, the stallion, who I'm guessing is the pathologist, came up to me and introduced himself. He seemed like a decent guy from where I'm standing. Thought, that's not saying much.

He extended his hoof to me. "Hello, you must be Shadow Haze. The private detective that was hired for this. I'm Cadaver. It's really nice to meet you." He said with a smile on his face.

I shook his hoof. "Yes I am. I'm guessing your the pathologist for this case, correct?" I asked him.

He nodded his head. "Yep. I've been doing this for about 2 years now, sir." He told me. Oh, so we got a rookie on our hoofs, do we? Let's just see how smart he is.

Before I levitated out my magnifying glass, I heard somepony throwing up in a trash can somewhere. I'm guessing it was Twilight. If it is, then this must be her first time seeing a real dead body. Well, not like I didn't do it the first time I saw one back when I was on the force.

"So, what have we got here?" I asked him.

"Oh, yes. Stallion, about 29 years old. He's a Royal Guard by the looks of it." His helmet and armor were scattered around the crime scene. "Blue mane, white coat." He explained to me.

"Can you estimate the time and cause of death?"

"Well, as far as time goes, I'd have to say 11:30 to around midnight last night. Cause of death, I'd say either blood loss from the stab wound to the heart, or blunt force trauma from the head injury. Though, I'd have to head back to the lab to get the official results."

As I looked around the body, I noticed something near the wall that was facing the stallion. I levitated it over, and it was a rainbow hoof band ripped in half. Why is this torn and near the stallions body?

I know for sure that ponies of the LGBT community wore these hoof bands to say that they were proud to be gay, or lesbian, or bisexual, or whatever. So if this hoof band was next to this poor guy, did that mean that he was gay? And if he was, did he get attacked by a group of ponies who hate homosexuals? I know that Ponyville, as well as the entirety of Equestria overall, is very supportive of gay rights for ponies. Hell, some ponies call Ponyville the "LGBT Capital of Equestria."

However, just because there were many ponies who were supportive of it, doesn't mean that every single pony is okay with it. I can't tell you how many times, back in New Colt City, I heard about a gay stallion or lesbian mare getting assaulted or flat out murdered, simply because they were gay. And, some crazy fucking Christian Activist Groups would say that this was "God's" way of "Cleansing the world of Fags." In other words, there condoning the actions when somepony attacks or kills a gay pony. Equestria every pony.

As I was looking at the hoof band, which I put in a plastic bag, Twilight rejoined me, as she had recovered from her lapse of sickness, which was only a very brief one. She tried not to look at the body as she spoke to me.

"Sorry, Shadow, I wasn't really expecting it to be this bad?" She said looking sympathetic for the stallion.

I just shrugged. "Don't worry about it. Anyway, did you find anything?" I asked her.

She responded by levitated a wallet over to me. I took it, and looked at the contents inside. Thankfully, I can't across his ID. Steel Spear. So, I guess we got a name on this guy. I also noticed that there was still some bits in his wallet. If somepony had him cornered in an alley, wouldn't their motive be armed robbery? Why didn't they take the money?

Then, the last thing I saw, and this was the big one, was a picture of Steel with another stallion. He had a brown coat with a blonde mane.

The two were nuzzling each other behind what appeared to be a beautiful sunset. I did have to admit, the two did look happy together. Though, this could have been an example of "happier times" if ya know what I mean.

"Well, what do you think?" Twilight asked me.

"*Sigh*Well, Twilight, it appears our guy, Steel Spear, was a gay stallion. Look." I showed her the picture as well as the rainbow hoof band ripped in half. She gasped at what she saw. Not just because the guy was gay, but because of how happy he looked with his partner in this picture.

"Do you think..." Twilight began to ask. I interrupted her, cause I knew what she was going to ask.

"I think so. I think this might have been a hate crime." I told her. I levitated the wallet into another plastic bag.

Then I wrote my number down on my notepad, that I carry in my trench coat, and levitated it over to Cadaver.

"Call me when you've got the official cause of death, alright?" I told him.

He nodded. "Will do, Mister Shadow." He said going back to the body.

Me and Twilight walked over to the police guards, and I levitated over the hoof band and wallet to the them. "Have the guy's from the lab analyze the DNA on these items. Also, you may want to inform the family as well as the victim's partner about the bad news. Alright?" I told them.

One of the guards nodded. "Yes sir Mister Shadow. We also have a witness who saw what happened last night. She's right over there." He pointed over to a mare, that looked to be a bit older than I was, who had a dark pink coat with a light pink and light grayish rose coat. She also had a cutie mark with three smiling flowers on it. She looked to be on edge about what happened. Can't say I blame her.

"Thanks." I said to him as me and Twilight walked over to her. However, Twilight hugged the mare, who now was crying. She must have been really spooked about what had happened. I guess Twilight knows who this mare is personally.

"Ma'am, I'm Detective Shadow Haze. I was told you saw what happened last night, is that correct?" I asked her.

She had her hoof up to her chin as she sobbed. "Yes. I just can't believe something like this would happen here." She said as Twilight wrapped her wing around her in comfort.

"What is your name?" I asked her.

She gulped. "Miss Cheerilee. I'm the teacher at the Ponyville Schoolhouse."

I sat down on my ass to make sure I was on eye level with Cheerilee. It's how I can tell when somepony is lying or not. I learned that when I was in the force. One of the things I learned that actually was good. Until, what happened.

.....

No, don't fucking think of that now. You've got a job to do.

"So, what exactly is it that you saw?" I asked her.

She took a deep breath before she spoke. "Well, I was at home, which is actually just a little bit close to the Sofa shop. I went outside to take out the trash. Then, I heard a really loud crash in the alleyway. So, I went over to investigate. Then, I saw some Pegasus flying away into the night. Then, two big Earth ponies ran past me. They almost knocked me over. So, I looked in the alleyway to see what happened, and..." She started getting emotional again, as Twilight hugged her. She didn't need to finish that sentence. I knew what she saw.

"Did you get a good look at the ponies you saw? I mean, did you see what they looked like, or anything?" I asked her.

She sniffled a little bit. "Well, the Pegasus I didn't see, cause it was so dark out." She said.

"What about the two Earth ponies?" I asked her.

"Well, I was distracted when I saw the Pegasus, and it happened so fast." She said.

I put my hoof on her shoulder, which surprised her and Twilight. "Ma'am, I need you to concentrate. Any little detail can help me to find out what happened. Can you do that for me?" I asked her.

She took a deep breath again, and relaxed a little bit this time. "Well, one of them I remember. He was a stallion, well built, and he had some necklace on him." She told me.

"Do you think you could describe what the necklace looked like?" I asked.

She shook her head. "Not physically, but it looked like a religious kind of necklace. Something you'd see in church." She told me.

I wrote down everything Cheerilee told me on my notepad. "Okay, is there anything else you saw? Anything at all?" I asked her.

She closed her eyes and tried to think. She opened them again after she must have came to something. "Well, the other Earth pony that was with him, I heard him say to the one with the necklace "What the fuck did you do?" That's all I know. Sorry if it's not much Mister Detective." She said to me looking bummed. Twilight hugged her again. She must consider her a real friend.

"No problem at all Miss Cheerilee. Thank you. You've been a big help." I told her.

She smiled, which was good, seeing as how she looked so scared and sad about what happened. It was good to see that she had hope for us.

Twilight looked at her friend. "Cheerilee, I promise, Detective Shadow Haze and myself will find the pony who did this. I give you my word." She said.

"Thank you Twilight." Cheerilee said emotionally happy as she walked away to her home. I'm guessing she took off for today from work. I just hope her students, whoever they are, got a good enough substitute.

"So, where to next?" Twilight asked me. Huh, guess she's quick to get to the next part of the investigation.

"You said that your brother, Shining Armor, is the captain of the Royal Guard. Correct?" I asked her.

She nodded. "Yes."

"Then that's who we are going to talk to next. I'm gonna need some info on Steel Spear. Shining has to know something about this." I said.

Twilight understood immediately. "I know where their home is in the Crystal Empire. I'll take you there right now, Shadow." She said to me as we now walked over to the train station.

I'm gonna have to let her know that I'm almost flat broke and can't afford another train ticket. But, on the flip side, it'll be nice to see the Crystal Empire. I've heard about how great it is in the paper. I know Melody is gonna be so jealous once she hears about this.

"I'm not going to have to pay for everything for you, am I Shadow?" Twilight asked me, now sounding annoyed. Guess I can't blame her. She bought two tickets for us to get to the Empire and back, and she had to pay for it all.

"Sorry Twilight, but I'm in a bad financial situation. I haven't had a great case that pays a lot of money in 5 months. So, as far as money goes, I don't have shit to my name. Not to mention, my apartment back in New Colt City is a fuckin sack of shit to live in." I told her. It kinda felt like I was venting. I don't know why I did it, but I just felt like I had to here.

She, all of a sudden, had a look of concern on her face. "How have you been able to support yourself for so long?" She asked.

"Well, let's just say I know how to save money from a long time ago. That kept me up for about 2 months after the situation hit. Now, I've got the debt collectors constantly banging on my door for payment."

"Sorry about that Shadow. I didn't know you were in that bad of a situation."

I shrugged. "The apartment is one thing, but now I can't even afford a birthday present for my little nephew."

"You have a nephew? Oh, I have a neice. She's Flurry Heart." She sounded excited at the thought of seeing her when we talk with Shining Armor.

"I take it she's the new Princess of the Crystal Empire, right? After that big snow storm that happened a while ago." I asked.

"Yep." She nodded. "She's the most adorable little bug you'll ever see. But, what's your nephew like? What's his name?" She looked pretty eager to hear about this. Well, she's an aunt, I'm an uncle, so I guess we do have something in common.

"His name's Comet Chaser. A pegasus. He's turning 10 at the end of the week. My big sister Melody Rays is his mom. I want to get him something really nice. Not some bullshit gift card or money or anything like that. I want him to have something he will really like." I told her.

"Well, isn't it the thought that counts? Why do you want to get something better than that?" She asked me.

"Well, because him and I are pretty close. I don't know why, but for some reason, that kid looks up to me even more than his dad, Solar Storm, Melody's husband. Everytime I come over to talk to Melody or Storm, he's always excited to see me. Always asking if he can come along on an investigation with me." I chuckled a little bit.

That kind of made Twilight laugh a little to. "I take it your answer is always No, right?" She asked.

"*Scoff* Yeah. There is no way I'm putting my sister's son in danger. She would never forgive me, and I wouldn't forgive myself. I don't get why he looks up to me so much, but he does, and I'm very thankful for it. He's a bit much sometimes, but overall, I love that kid." I said to her, which made her go "Awww."

"Well, it sounds like your a good uncle to him, Shadow." Twilight said.

"Thanks." I told her. I really meant it. Obviously, the reason I never take him on cases, is because it could get dangerous, and he may end up seriously injured, or worse, dead. And I would never allow that to happen. I would do anything to protect Comet. Even if it cost me my life.

As we walked through the Crystal Empire, oh by the way we were crystalized now too, which looked pretty cool if you ask me, I saw something that might help me out. We walked past a toy store. And in the window, I saw something that I not only knew would be a great gift for Comet, but I knew this was something he would really, really love.

It was a 3 series comic book collection of The Dark Stallion. He loved comic books. Melody told me that he has about 20 comic books of this character in his room as we speak. I looked at the price.

Ouch. 100 bits. Definitely can't afford that. Though, maybe....

I turned to Twilight. "Hey, Twilight, hang on a sec?" I told her as I ran into the store.

"Huh? Shadow what are you doing?" I heard her call me.

I went inside, and went up to the cashier. He was an old looking dude, around his late fifties, who had a blue coat and slightly grayish balding mane. He must have worked here for several years.

"Hey buddy, do you think you could put that comic book collection on hold for me?" I asked him.

He gave me a confused look. "Why do you want that sir?" He asked me. He must think I want it for myself.

"Well, it's not for me, it's for my little nephew. I want to get him something nice for his birthday. Not the shit I've given him the last two years. I don't have money on me now, but I'm on a murder case right now. That Royal Guard Steel Spear who got killed in Ponyville last night." I told him.

The cashier's eyes widened. "What? Steel Spear is dead?" He put both his hooves on his face. "Oh Celestia. I had a feeling that this was gonna happen." He said. Wait, he knew Steel? I guess I'll ask.

"You know Steel?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I knew him. I mean, I should, cause I'm his uncle." The guy told me.

Oh shit. Didn't see that coming.