The Chronicle of Curse Word
Part 2
Previous ChapterI try to draw a ragged breath, try to cry out, but the pain consumes and overwhelms me. My eyes reflexively close against the otherworldly pain as the tendrils hold me aloft and tear into my flesh anew. They pale in comparison to the undulating, rotating mass, drilling and contorting inside my chest as it plunges itself deeper. I can’t gather my thoughts against the ripping pain infusing and surrounding me.
“Oh, no, no, Curse Word. You don't get to hide from this!” Ink barks into my face. The coils beneath my eyelids shift and harden in an instant. With a sickening wet snip, my eyelids fly through the air; my vision returned against my will to the horror before me. The sights and sensations overwhelm me as guttural screams echo into obscurity.
“Ink! Let her go! You’re killing her!” Mag’s voice rings clearly in my head, my eyes snapping away from the macabre vision before me, towards her voice. No Mag… run… don’t... let... her ge… NO! She reaches through the midnight black bars, crumpled against her prison as she wails my name. The inky birdcage shifts around her as she extends her hooves as far as she can reach and tears cascade down her muzzle.
Tendrils snake around the exposed bones in my limbs, slicing tendon and muscle with ease. There is no release or respite and my concept of time shatters with my mind as the litany of pain amplifies. The smell of rancid decay violates my flared nostrils and decaying flesh joins the pristine viscera that carpets the floor as my body regenerates. Oh... Celestia No!... Luna… Protect ME. The horror seeps into every nerve, every fiber as realization burns through the fog of pain in my mind: my body keeps regenerating… this can go on… forever if she wants it to. Cold sweat breaks out on the few patches of fur that haven't come back patchy and rancid, a new fear gripping me.
“You cannot deny who you are, Curse Word!” The cracked and broken surface makes rasping sounds as the leather mask dances and taunts me, a yellow aura holding it before my face. “This is the monster you are! The Lost Narrator, reader of stories and damner of souls! But something's missing? Oh wait… I know!”
The tendrils tense and contort, pulling my body taut into a standing position as my vision blurs to red. This excruciating pain reaches levels no mortal pony could survive; my mind fracturing under the unrelenting misery of a thousand eternities. The red bleeds from my vision and I'm greeted by the moronic, stitched smile and shining gaze of the leather mask. Her taunting laughter accompanies its stoic descent. It gently comes to rest on my snout; a single coil slowly pushes it into place. I feel my rotten flesh extend and caress its broken and weathered surface, fusing and melting into the leather.
It’s a calming, welcoming presence in this new world of agony and torment.
“And as for you!” My bleary mind struggles to focus as I turn my head in Mag’s direction. The viscous mass lunges towards her and the cage. “You really are a whore, aren’t you?!” Ink screams at Mag, lashing a tendril at the cage.
Mag yelps in fear and adrenaline floods into my broken frame. I struggle against the coils, but they intertwine and contract around my limbs, locking me in place. I try to force my muzzle open, to scream out, but my mask is sewn shut, muting me.
The cage around Mag shifts and flashes before transmuting into brass. She shrinks back against the bars, a wounded bird confined in her cramped cell.
“Let her go, Ink! You already have me! What more do you want?” Mag shouts back, fear and adrenaline giving power to her voice.
“I want my little bird to behave like a proper mare, not a common whore! How… dare you! How dare you press your… lips on…” Ink trails off, her semi-fluid form roiling and frothing with rage. “How could you? How could you do this to me, after all I've done and sacrificed for you?!”
Mag glances over and our eyes lock for a brief moment, fear and desperation engulf her lilac orbs. They begin to fill with tears as she looks up into Ink’s monstrous face. “Ink… You’re right, I’m yours… I’ve always been yours. I never know what's best for me… you do, you always have… This… is my fault.”
Instantly, I struggle against coils. What the fuck is she talking about?
Ink’s liquidy surface calms and stills as she peers at Mag suspiciously. “Oh, is that so? It’s your fault. I’m glad you can finally admit what I’ve known all along. You were the one who caused all this. Your stupidity and ignorance… that’s what got my foal killed, when you used her.”
“I never meant for that to happen! I just wanted to—”
“No Magpie! You used Curse Word and her sinister talent to kill my son; a talent she wasn’t aware of until you came along!” Mag’s eyes widened in shock and horror as Ink’s voice becomes even shriller. “What? You thought you could spend a thousand years in my realm, and I wouldn’t find out? Oh Celestia, that story became so tiresome after the first two-hundred years. How you used her, how you betrayed her.”
Mag leans back against the bars, as Ink’s words strike with the force of a sledgehammer.
“Your idea of revenge was just so pathetic. You were the one who set everything into motion, going so far as to trick my son into purposely angering Curse Word that day. It’s because of you and your actions that I have been damned to this! My pain is on you and you alone!”
Mag… used me…
My world shifts and turns; everything I thought I knew shatters as the new pieces click into place: the colt, that mare, Mag acting so distant… clarity overwhelms and bombards my mind with even more questions.
I hyper extend my jaw, loosening the stitching and one of the many cords snaps.
Mag, please! I need to talk to you. Listen to me!
Mag’s eyes lock on the ground, her head hanging low. “...You’re right. I’m… I-I’m the one who did this. I’m the one who betrayed her...” Her shoulder trembles as tears stream down her face. “At least I got to see her one more time… to kiss her...” Mag’s voice trails off abruptly as her body tenses. Her right hoof rises to her muzzle and her ears swivel back. “Wha…”
A chortle breaks the silence as choking, panicked screams erupt from the cage. “Well, we won’t have to worry about that anymore, will we, my little bird?” Mag’s eyes bulge with terror and her hooves claw desperately at her muzzle. Waxen undulating skin dribbles down her face and over her lips, the strands of liquefied flesh knitting and fusing together; a doll's mouth being sewn up by her owner, to be seen and not heard. The last ropes of hide bind into place, dissolving into an unbroken plane of fur, as if no mouth had ever existed. She runs a trembling hoof over her flawless unbroken fur, muffled screams emanating from her throat, as Ink Dye cackles maniacally.
“Now, isn’t that better? You can’t talk back if you don’t have a mouth. You still don’t get it, my little bird. I’m going to teach you to behave, and I will take all the time I need. My love will mold you; bring you back to what you’re supposed to be. Soon, you will realize that loving Curse Word was the biggest mistake of your life!”
The sound of magic and ripping cords fill the air. My coiled form explodes in magical fury, and moments later, I reappear beside that bitch. My back hooves extend, connecting with Ink’s shocked expression as her head turns towards the sound of my magic. My front hooves brace and bite into the floor, I channel all my rage and hatred into the double buck to her muzzle. With enough force to fell a tree, I connect and am rewarded with a shrill scream as the cunt goes flying, sloshing and flailing through the air. She impacts hard over 30 feet away, colliding with the floor in a wet thud and exploding into a shower of black rain. “No, pissing me off was, you bitch!”
As my hindquarters retract, I shift my center of gravity, pivoting on my front hooves. I glance at Mag’s crumpled body as my head whips around, then charge towards the inky pool as it rises and fuses into a familiar form. My hooves pound against the hard murky floor and my horn glows with crimson fury. As Ink’s eyes ignite piss yellow within her stupid fucking face, I let loose the magical surge, the bloody bolt hurling towards that annoying grin. Her body liquefies and showers to the floor, dodging the blast seconds before it strikes as her laughter echoes around me.
I skid to a halt, whipping my neck left and right, searching for the bitch. Only the small whimpers of Mag trying to pry open her mouth echo in the darkness as the laughter fades.
The ball of anger flares in my chest, my frustration boiling over. “INK! Stop hiding you fucking pussy and fight me! One monster to another, let’s see who’s got the bigger pair!?”
“A monster? Me?” Ink’s voice bounces from every direction. Her small, coy chuckle erupts into a thunderous, obnoxious laugh. “My looks may be deceiving, but I can assure you, I am nowhere near as despicable... as vile as you!” A geyser of ink spews into the air before me and I'm greeted with that smug, shit-eating grin as that bitch steps out from it.
“Could’ve fooled me!” My instincts kick into overdrive as I lunge at her; my right hoof making contact with her chest. Her silky surface ripples slightly, my hoof passing through her like water. I jump back, narrowing my eyes and watch her as she smugly grins at me.
“Look at you. You only know how to solve your problems with violence, nothing but brute force! Trying to hurt me, or anypony for that matter, at the drop of a bit. It’s no wonder Magpie used you to enact her little ‘revenge plan.’” Ink smirks as her eyes fall upon Mag’s cage.
“You leave her the fuck alone! All you did was hurt her!” The patches of dead fur that spot my rotten and pitted hide stands on end as I seethe with rage.
“And you didn’t? Oh, how it killed her on the inside, helpless as you spiraled further and further into darkness and depravity, watching as the monster you are rose to the surface.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Unbeknownst to you, Magpie has been watching you this whole time. When you ‘cursed’ her all those years ago, I saved her, placing her in this realm to protect her from you. We both watched as you gave in to your heinous ways, slaughtering all those innocent ponies. And don’t lie and say they were ‘bad ponies who needed to be punished.’ We saw it, my little bird and I… and them. You became indiscriminate, slaughtering all who crossed your path, just as any true monster would.”
“It takes a fucking monster to know one.” I spat back, clenching my jaw tightly.
“Ah, but you see, I am not a monster. My current state was never by choice. I was forced to watch you kill them all, then watch her deceive them, each and every soul, all in the hopes of… restoring you. Nearly one hundred thousand souls, in groups, pairs, or alone. Led like lambs to your loving slaughter. If anyone is deserving of that redemption, it should be me. Both your hooves are stained with their blood. I was forced to kill my own son; I was sent to that horrendous prison. Little did the rest of Equestria know what dark experiments were being performed on the ponies in there. The pain, the years of fear and shame… indignities and horrors you cannot fathom. Let’s just say, the magic-infused chemicals they injected into me did wonders for my looks.” Ink spreads her quill-like wings and tendrils whip violently into the dismal void. “My transformation into this... monster is not of my own doing. It never was, but you… well, your outsides just reflect what was already festering on the inside.”
“At least I don't pretend to love somepony…” My nostrils flare with rage, taking a shaky step forward. “At least I never fucking abused her!” I roar as I charge her. Tendrils spiral out from her sides, striking with lightning speed as they form into a club. The ebony mass strikes me from beneath like iron, smashing into my barrel and knocking the wind from my lungs. My legs give way, and I collapse to the floor.
Ink Dye strolls languidly towards me. “I loved her more than your simple little mind could ever comprehend. I only wanted what was best for her, even if she didn’t realize it at the time. Sometimes it takes a firm hoof to show her how much I love her.”
Pure, unbridled rage detonates within my chest. My blood boils and surges, engorging my rotting flesh and powering my strikes as hooves reach out, flailing furiously, but only passing through the black sludge. I will scratch this bitch’s eyeballs out! A smug chortle taunts me as more tendrils whip out from behind her frame, striking to counter my every blow, mocking me, toying with me.
“I was the complete package. I had everything a mare could ever dream of: a career that involved the royalty, an extraordinary home, the astounding luxury, the elusive social status… A mare would have to be a complete idiot to not want me!” I bow forward and crash onto my knees as the tendrils finally let up their attack, the last of my strength failing as I crumple onto my side. “You cannot deny the fact that when she and I first met… there were sparks. I recall the look in her eyes when she first saw me, the desire… the lust. She wanted it just as badly as I did. So I gave it to her… I gave her all of myself.”
A faint cry breaks Ink’s concentration. She turns to Mag’s cage, my gaze following hers. The outline of Mag’s pink coat contrast against the now barely visible cage. Ink turns her gaze back to me shifting her back to the cage. “Just to hear her again… like that. It’s so intoxicating… exquisite, don’t you agree?”
“No! It’s fucked up to even think about her like that!”
“But didn’t the numerous, endless ponies you massacred moan for mercy?” Ink’s penetrating sneer reveals the depth of depravity within; a portal laid open to the demented thoughts that play beneath the calm exterior. I swallow hard, hesitating to answer the question. “A scream cut short by swift pain… the whimpers lingering in your ears as they cower and beg, pleading for some kind of mercy. The feeling of power... control! Having their lives under your hoof, twisting their will to your own satisfaction. It must have excited you Curse Word, but what you did was a mere shadow of our love. My little bird and I; her pain was pure, unfettered, and raw. I provided all she could ever need or desire; I gave her existence meaning! That was at least until she became confused… strayed away from her purpose... Forsaking our love. I mean… how?”
Ink cranes her neck, her face lowering to eye level with me as my breath comes in ragged gasps.A hoof gingerly caresses the worn leather of my mask as I try to turn away, but her hoof holds my chin firmly in place. “How could she try to replace me… with something like you? A common pony with such a crass, ill behaved, and unrefined demeanor… A pony who literally uses her own sorrow as a crutch to justify her immortal deeds… I think after all’s accounted, you are by far the greatest insult. Even after all these years, she still does not understand what love really is.”
Ink leans in close, her chemical breath washing over my muzzle. Faint trickles of ink drip within her skull, black droplets rolling down the sickly yellow windows of her corrupted soul. “Love is the pure, biological need to satisfy our own ravenous urges. There is no greater truth.”
Azure light blooms and expands, banishing the darkness and framing Ink Dye’s twisted form. The intensity of the light waxes, causing Ink to raise a hoof in the face of its blazing intensity. I squint, trying to adjust to the light as a single, determined voice rings out: “Let her go!”
A thunderclap ignites as the brass cage erupts into shrapnel and Mag appears from thin air, standing between Ink and I. Tall and proud, she radiates with cerulean brilliance.
The expression of disbelief plays across Ink’s face. “How did you even—”
“Let her go, Ink!” Mag’s voice cuts clear and strong through the void, stomping a hoof down with such tenacity that the world around her rumbles.
“My little bird… what do you think you are doing?” Ink’s voice bristles with annoyance.
“I am not your little bird!” Mag screams back.
“Yes, you are. You will always be my little—”
“I’m not some thing; an object you can toy with and control! I was twice your size when we were together! All the horrible, fucked up shit you put me through… Did you honestly expect me to come back to you… to ‘love’ you again?” Mag’s aura shines brighter with each word that leaves her lips.
“You’re such a petulant child, Magpie! You never did know what was best for you, for us!”
“For us? Really? This has always been about you, Ink! It was never about what I wanted, what I really needed, what I felt! Do you even know how bad you broke me… how wounded I was after I ran away from you? I… I couldn’t trust anypony! I honestly thought I was too broken, too damaged to ever be loved. It was all because of you! Curse was the one who put me back together!”
“Why do you still put your faith… your love in this abomination!?” Ink snarls.
“Because I know deep down inside, she’s not a monster! You’re right; we did watch her kill those ponies, but you love to omit one fact: Curse wept after she killed them… at least in the beginning. She only did this because she thought it was her lot in life, that she was always supposed to be this way, but you… you’ve had this darkness inside you from the very start. You feel nothing. No remorse, nor love, only sadistic satisfaction for the pain you cause! No matter how much you torture her… torture us, our love will always be stronger; stronger than anything you could ever throw at us! I’ve been cowering and afraid of you for too long. This ends now, Ink. I’m not your puppet, your ragdoll, your punching bag, or your fucking little bird. I am Magpie, and I will always love my Curs—”
CRACK!
Mag’s voice breaks as, her body rigid and muscles tense. Ruby droplets burble up from her lips and shower down upon darkened ground. A wet sucking sound accompanies the slow, torturous retraction of the ebony spike lodged in her chest. My heart thuds in my ears as the world slows, her graceful pink form falling through space like a puppet with its strings suddenly cut. A loud thud, empty and hollow reverberates as she strikes the floor in a heap, unmoving and limp. The pit of my stomach drops as my world spirals and implodes.
“Mag…” My thoughts are stifled by the sight of her… of my…
“Hmmmmm…” A sickly sweet and bemused voice purrs into the silence. “I guess it really wasn't you I loved.” Her voice is hungry, eager. The monster before me sneers out. “It was this feeling, this force...this control!”
“MAG!” I scramble to my hooves, rushing over to her side, praying and hoping that…
“Enjoy her while you still can, Curse Word!” Ink’s sardonic laughter echoes into the void as her body dissolves into the darkness. I grit my teeth as I pull Mag close, running a hoof through her mane. A soft, pained moan escape her lips. The warm cerulean glow that once blazed brightly around her has been extinguished, her body left worn and bruised…? Ink blotches cover her entire being.
Laying on her side, she slowly tries to raise her head to me. “Cursey… I’m…”
“Shhh, it’s ok. I’m here now.”
Mag’s breathing comes shallow and ragged as she attempts to pull herself up. I place a steady hoof gently on her chest, forcing her to relax within my embrace; the lack of strength and how easily she falls back terrifies me. “No… N-no, y-you need to get away from h-here.” Even in her current state, she’s still trying to protect me, from this horrible mess.
This mess that she set into motion.
She pushes my hoof aside and painstakingly props herself up right, taking advantage of my frantic mind as it’s finally able to comb through all the details I’ve been blind to for so long. All I had ever hoped for was to find her one day and to finally be with her again… to right my wrongs… The perfect, idealized version of her was the only thing I had to hold on to during those nine hundred plus years of desperation and despair. When did I lose sight of who she really was? Or was she always like this and I was blind from the beginning? Time seems to make you grow fond of only the good memories, and that pedestal that I placed her upon… It’s all come crashing down.
Fear and doubt claw at my heart, but as I watch her struggle to sit, to breathe… I can’t help but want to protect this flawed mare… to be with her, to love her. Ink… she did so many… things… so many horrible and terrible things to her...
I take her hooves into mine, gripping tightly, looking her squarely in the eyes. “No.” I coo to her gently yet firm. “I said I’m not going anywhere. Especially not now, silly.” Her sight follows the mask… tracing every little bit of me, as if she’s trying to memorize what I am now. I want to pull into myself, to conceal from her the thing I've become. Her beautiful, sparkling eyes won’t let me though. Those captivating lilac portals stare deeply into me; her lingering gaze still as loving and gentle as it was all those years ago.
“I-I’m… sorry, Cursey. I never meant to—”
“I know, I know you didn't mean to. I get it.” I smile at her, or at least try to from behind the tattered hide. Her eyes beam up at me as she tries to stand. I help her to her hooves, twinges of fear and concern blooming at the sight of blacken discoloration in the center of her chest. That alarm sharpens as I see it slowly expanding and creep out from her wound.
“Awwww, wasn’t that just… a lovely little moment... You two disgust me!” Ink’s sarcastic voice drips with venom and hate as it echoes through the void. Mag’s ears pin back against her scalp, as my gaze swivels left and right, trying to see where that bitch’s voice is coming from. “Two monsters comforting one another, when the end is ever-looming for them. There is no redemption for the likes of either of you. Neither of you are worthy of it, because you both chose this path! The one lined with the lives you have ruined!”
“Real fucking mature, you stupid bitch.” My body tenses.
“Oh, my little, stupid bird. You made your choice, and now you get to live with— Oops! I mean, die with it!” Ink’s cunty laughter erupts and cascades, echoing all around us.
I bite my lip as I watch the expression on Mag’s face. She winces slightly, but I can’t tell if it’s from that bitch’s voice, or from something else. “You are in no shape to try and… to try and take her on.” Mag says, nuzzling against my neck.
I nuzzle her back, trying to mask my thoughts. “I will take care of this. I promise. Just stay here and out of the way, ok?”
I turn tail and gallop into the darkness, hoping to put some distance between us and Mag. I can’t lose her again. “Ink Dye! Come out, you stupid cunt!” I call out, hooves echoing into the black nothingness.
“Oh Curse Word, you have such a way with words!” Ink’s silky sweet voice, dripping with malice, slithers into my ears as her undulating inky form rises and contorts before solidifying into a pony form ahead of me. I brace my front hooves, skidding to a stop.
“I’m fucking done with your bullshit, Ink!” My eyes narrowing as I glower at the monstrosity.
“Oh, that’s cute. You actually think you have a chance.” Coils rocket through the air, aiming straight for my head. My horn flares up, deflecting each one without effort. Ink Dye retracts her coils. Her eyes glower intensely out at me from within her murky facade.
“Weren’t expecting that, were you, bitch? I’m not fucking around anymore… Ink.” The anger, the bitterness… everything I’ve had to endure since being sucked into this nightmare boils to the surface as my mind overloads with rage. An unbridled howl sunders the tepid air, every fiber of my corrupted feint form cries out for this bitch’s blood, to unleash my vengeance and fury on her. Crimson bleeds across my vision, the hue resonating with me on a primal level as my blood courses faster and battle ensues. I refuse to let this bitch think for a second that she will ever have the chance to hurt Mag again. Knowing that she… hurt her like… that. That Mag was too scared to trust me; that she was the reason Mag was so broken when I found her…
The horse shoes come off and there is no more holding back. This cunt will suffer, I will make her fucking beg, make her hurt and know what it was like…. What she did to Mag… my body shakes with rage and exertion as I unload all of my hate and anger onto her.
This failed abortion has got power, I’ll give her that, but what I lack in raw power, I make up for in rage. With as much blood that’s on my hooves and all the fucked up shit I’ve had to endure, there’s no way this prissy little shitstain is going to take me down. She’s going to fucking regret watching me get stronger over those nine hundred fucking years. My rage, her sadistic lust, we match blow for blow and give back as good as we receive. Rotten chunks of flesh scythe away and mix underhoof with her sickly ink splotches that stain the floor.
I don’t stop. I ignore the severed limbs and shards of bone; the stinging, gaping wounds that cover my body; everything burns, sizzles and dies before the inferno consuming my mind and heart. Gaping wounds knit, bones sprout, and muscle weaves itself anew under the glowing blue light of our love. My body flares and flickers with azure light even as I run it through the meat grinder of her sadistic power. A hoof cut off at the joint explodes and reforms under the healing glow, first bone and tendon followed by veins then rotting flesh and fur in the blink of an eye.
Grasping that red, hot ball of wrath in my chest, I press the attack, letting her have it all. My hate cascades over her like heat waves, stripping off wisps of ink. As I pull harder on my rage though, I can feel my body reaching its limit. The healing glow comes slower and few between as my body burns for the first time from exhaustion. I need to take this cunt down now!
I channel everything I have into my horn, power sparking and snapping in arching stripes around my broken horn. Ink’s eyes expand in terror as the ink around her form begins to fizzle and sear away. Her terrified wail sings into the void, bringing a smile to my bloodied lips as I watch the whore burn into nothingness from my magic and rage.
I shut my eyes and feel my limbs give out. That last magical surge… My horn pounds and throbs on the inside of my skull. It’s ok though… she’s fucking gone and—
“Did you really think it was going to be that easy?!” My eyes snap open only to find her smug face towering over me. Her hoof strikes down upon my horn and my body crumples under the intense pain.
A dense, ebony hoof strikes my shoulder and pins me down to the floor like a boulder. Bones crack and pop as Ink increasingly applies pressure, as if she’s trying to squish me like a bug beneath her hoof. I pant and squirm, trying to wriggle free or force her off, but it’s too much. How is she not… tired?!
“I’m not tired because I have that endless supply of souls you murdered!” She smugly retorts. I struggle against the sheer power in her hoof.
“S-Stop reading m-my fucking thoughts!”
“Don’t you get it Curse Word? This is my realm. I control this dimension and all who inhabit it! I’ve heard all of your thoughts and Magpie’s since the start of this wretched journey! I even know of the ones who are viewing these events unfold from behind a black screen; can’t you hear their clicking, scrolling my story with baited breath? I am the beginning, the middle, and the end! There is no escape for a villain like you!”
Ink’s sinister smile widens as she lowers her inky muzzle. I can feel her breath snake into my ear. “But I do have to thank you, Curse Word.” Her tongue slithers over my earlobe, and I shudder at the sensation. “I just needed a little push, and you shoved me right into murdering that little fucking brat. I mean, I had abused Magpie so much… but to kill… another pony, especially a foal? Even I thought that was too much at one point, but he wasn’t even my child. That colt and his father were just a means to an end. So I really have to thank you and that super special talent of yours. If it wasn’t for that, I would have never gathered enough nerve to drown the little shit.”
“W-What?”
Like a seductive lover, she whispers in my ear. “You heard me. I killed that colt. And I knew what I was doing the whole time.”
I close my eyes as the truth permeates my being, striking my very core. A wave of red bleeds out from my horn, expanding in all directions covering me. Numbness washes over me as the magical storm within me swells and swirls wildly, my mind being overwhelmed. The world shifts from crimson fury to purest white, fading away, only one thought remains, the only one that matters now.
I didn’t kill that little colt…
My breath catches in my throat as I cough and choke on the sooty air. My senses return in shuddering, halting bursts between the vertigo and pain. The last traces of white dissolve from the corners of my eyes, bleeding away into nothing as I come fully awake. My body aches as I lay on my side. The void around me is warmer than I remember and dust swirls in the air. My limbs feel heavy, sickly, as I try to pull myself up. I slowly, painfully scan the ground around me; an icy shard of panic pierces my heart as my eyes fall upon Mag’s still form.
“Mag!” I choke out weakly, dragging myself hoof over painful hoof towards her side. The color in her coat has faded and… I can’t tell if she’s…
“Mag, baby, come on. You have to wake up!” I furiously scrape at the ground with my hooves, until I finally reach her. I pull her close and cradle her in my forehooves. Her body is inert and cold to the touch.
I stroke her cheek as I grasp her tighter, fear and anguish threatening to overtake me.
“No… Mag… please...” My words trail off as my mind finally snaps. I gulp down the lump in my throat and shake her gently, hoping that she… “I just… I just found you. You can’t leave me. Not now. Not after all this. Please. Just please… wake up...” My body quivers, convulses. I weep into her mane, breathing in the faint scent of lavender and holding my breath, as if I’m keeping her here, inside of me. A choking sob breaks through when my lungs demand for air. “You can’t fucking leave me, Mag. I know I fucked up, but you can’t leave me.”
Rocking back and forth within the darkness, I cradle her still body and whisper, “...I’m sorry… I’m so sorry I didn’t find you sooner.”
A faint moan leaves her lips and I lift my head. Her eyes flutter weakly, and I can feel her trying to lift her forehoof. “C-Cursey…” Her voice is so frail and weak.
“Mag… I…” I caress her cheek again, trying to pull myself together for her. “I love you... I love you, with my whole heart.”
She gingerly wipes my tear-stained cheek and gazes up at me. Her breath is become shallower and frailer by the second. “Cursey… Tell me a s-story…” She murmurs quietly.
“It’s too late, Curse Word…” The disembodied voice of Ink Dye bubbles up around us as my heart sinks.
Yeah, maybe it is. And maybe, I’m just a sitting target here… but I’m not letting her go. I’m staying right here, end of story. Swallowing hard, I force the lump down and watch her carefully. Her breathing is faint…
“Once upon a time, there was a unicorn mare who always felt out of place with her pegasus family. She didn’t think she would ever find a place she truly belonged, or be accepted for the mare she grew up to be. Then, she met a mare she thought was the answer to her prayers, a mare she could love without fear of judgment from others… but this mare was more toxic for her than the life she left behind. She was a prisoner, in her own home, shouldering the pain and suffering she endured day to day. But she had courage; courage that the garbage mare didn’t anticipate, and she got out… she was free from everything that held her back, and she found a new place… a place to start over, and maybe find a new love… Mag?”
Stillness. The serenity of her lifeless form finally breaks me.
“Mag… please… this can’t be the end. It can’t be. Your story isn’t over, Mag! This isn’t THE END!”
----------------------------------------------------------------
My eyes shoot open and I inhale sharply, choking on the breath as it rushes into my lungs.A small thud plunks down beside me as I cough and wheeze, finally calming myself. Glancing down, I notice the book laying haphazardly on the ground and the wooden floor that it’s on. I blink a few more times, unsure of what the fuck is going on.
Wasn’t I just…?
“Curse? Is everything ok?” A young, annoying and familiar voice exclaims. I finally glance up and see that little colt staring back at me. In fact, I am surrounded by the familiar sight of little foals settled around me, each one sporting a very confused expression as they peer at me intently. It’s then that I glimpse at the back of the room and I see the one mare who I thought I had lost for an eternity. My eyes lock on Mag’s lilac eyes. I feel the tears welling up, but stop them before too many can escape. She shies away, hiding behind a bookcase. Wait, a bookcase…?
I look around, recognizing this place… It’s the library from my hometown.
What the…
“Uh, Curse? Are you going to finish the story or not?” The little colt whines, picking up the book with his hooves.
“I-I think I need to take a little break.” I reply back, trying to calm my nerves. “Let’s meet back here in about 15 minutes, ok?” The group of foals proceeds to get up, groaning about a supposed cliffhanger I had left off on.
Before the little colt… Skip Scamper was his name, can take off with the foals, I yank him aside with my magic. He yelps as I turn him to face me. “What day is it?” I harshly whisper as my anxiety flares up.
He stares at me, confused. “Uh… it’s Tuesday, duh.”
I rub the bridge of my snoot, remembering how my patience always ran thin with this colt. “No, I mean, what’s the date?”
“Oh, it’s the 17th.” He states matter of factly.
“Of what month, Skip?!” I hiss.
“Of June. Shouldn’t you know these things? You’re the adult here.”
June 17th. That’s the date of the first time I ever talked to Mag. What’s the fuck is going on? Before I give my mind a chance to enjoy this moment, I ask Skip, “I have one more question: do you know that pink mare who was in the back of the library?”
“You mean Magpie?”
“Yes, I mean Magpie. How long has she been working here?”
“Ugh, you said there was only one more question!” He grumbles.
“Just answer the damn question, Skip!”
“Fine!” He sighs, irritated. “I think for a few days. She’s the new assistant librarian.”
Only a few days. That must mean…
“Can I go now?” Skip tugs at my forehoof, trying to get my attention.
I shake my head, quieting my thoughts. “Yeah, sure kid. Go play with the other foals.” I reply, walking away from him, but stop when I remember his connection to everything.
I whirl around, and call out, “Hey Skip! Wait!”
He skids to a stop, stamping his hoof on the ground, peeved. “WHAT?” He yells back.
A collective shush echoes from the library as he and I wince, realizing our volume.
I trot over to him. “Is your dad dating anyone?”
His bright emerald eyes gawk at me. “Ewww, why would you ask me about that?” He sticks out his tongue, obviously disgusted by the thought.
“Oh Celestia damnit.” I mutter under my breath. “Not for me. I’m just asking for a… friend.”
His head tilts. “Uh… no. And he definitely wouldn’t date a mare like you.”
“Alright kiddo, go play with the rest of the foals…” My horn flares up, and I shove him towards the door. I can hear him mumbling about not ever wanting me as a mother, as I finally make my way to the back of the library.
I quietly trot, glancing between the rows of bookcases, until I finally come across the last row of the very back of the library and find her. My heart races as I feel the edges of my eyes sting with tears. I linger at the end of the row, watching as Mag delicately picks up a book from the cart sitting next to her with her mouth, and daintily places it back onto the shelf.
I remember this now. How she would always refuse to use her magic for the simplest of tasks when I first met her. I never understood why; she always gave me the excuse of ‘trying to conserve magic’. I understand now. It had been engrained into her that she wasn’t allowed to use it.
That bitch, Ink Dye—
My fur stands on end as I realize I’ve already been in a similar situation like this before. I’m on guard; my eyes darting back and forth, trying to see if there are any hints of this being an illusion just to torment me. I start to grab books off the nearby shelf to flip through hastily, seeing if there are any inky blots within the pictures of the books.
“C-can I help you?”
I jump, dropping the books within my magic when I realize she is standing right behind me.
“Uh… no.” I spin around and try to hold my composure as I’m greeted by the sweet trace of Lavender.
That scent… It really is—
“Oh, okay.”
Right as she is about to turn away, I realize what I need to do. “Wait! I-I’m sorry.” I smile nervously, trying to cool my nerves. “I was just trying to find another book to read to the foals.” I weakly laugh.
Mag’s expression drops to concern and confusion. “I think you might be in the wrong section for that…” She says, pointing a hoof to the sign hanging in the row that reads “Equestrian Law.”
“Well, I guess it’s never too early to start them on…” I yank a book off the shelf next to us, and read aloud, “Architecture Regulations for Pegasi Structures, Volume 12… How in the fuck do they have twelve volumes for this…?” I stare at the book, realizing how dumb I sound, but before I can get a word in, Mag giggles at me.
“It’s a real page-turner. Don’t forget to read out all the subtext and the footnotes.” She smiles at me softly. She reaches down to pick up a book from the ground. Before she gets the chance, my magic ignites, gathering all the books I dropped.
“Sorry for making this mess.” I shrug, placing them all back into their rightful places.
“Don’t be. It gives me more of an excuse to stay back here rather than deal with… her.”
...Her? My throat falls into my stomach as my mind races, bracing for the inevitable.
“Who’s… her?”
Mag’s body stiffens. “The… librarian… oh gosh, are you one of her friends? I’m so, so sorry, I didn’t mean it, I—”
I let out a massive sigh of relief that grows into a joyous, loud laugh. “Holy fuck, she’s such a bitch.”
Instantly, Mag’s shoulders relax, a small smile spreading on her lips. She giggles to herself, “You really had me scared for a second there. I thought I might be the only one.”
“Oh, God no! Everyone in this place hates her!”
“That’s comforting!” Mag replies rather chipper.
Noticing the cart of books behind her, I proceed to grab all of them with my magic and place them back on the shelf. “Here, let me get the rest of them. I… I don’t think I got your name. I’m Curse Word.”
Mag smirks at me, tilting her head. “Well, Curse Word, I can see why you aren’t a librarian.”
“Oh? How come…?”
“Well, you just placed ‘Amphibians of the Swamp Lands’ in Equestrian Law. I’m not sure if they wrote the laws, but hey, I’m new here. What do I know?” Her lilac eyes beam brightly at me. “I’m Magpie, by the way.”
----------------------------------------------------------------
And with that, Mag and I started over back where it all began. To be frank, it was odd and quite jarring at first; watching the same events unfold again with everything I know now, but I didn’t care. I made damn sure that I didn’t make the same mistakes again.
When those nightmares reared their ugly head, I was ready to face them head on with her. It was a slow, gradual process of finally getting her to talk about her past, but I waited patiently, and tried to steer her in the right direction. My biggest fault in that was, well, being blinded by the rose tinted glasses I always wore when I looked at her. All I had ever wanted was somepony to just love me, and she was all of that and more. She said in that void she thought she was too broken to loved, but the truth is, I think you’re never too broken to be loved. I mean, she loved me the first time around.
Everypony is broken and damaged on some level, and I was no exception. Some of us just hide it a lot better than the rest.
If anything, I’m a bit more damaged now, especially after, you know, the hundreds of years of being a raging psychopath. The real big kicker in all this: it seems like not a single pony remembers anything of “The Lost Narrator.” I mean, why would they? I time leapt to a point before all that happened. All of it.
Although, that’s the thing: I’m the only one who has retained any recollection of, well, everything. Maybe this is all some ‘alternate timeline’ of sorts? I still don’t completely understand what happened, but as I comb over all the details of these events and how it unfolded, it’s a miracle in itself that I’m even standing here, telling you this story, and not from the psych ward.
It doesn’t mean this has all been easy for me to readjust back to this old life. It’s never just a walk in the park, especially when I was that corpse for so long. Do you know how unnerving it is when I come across a pony I damned in another life? The guilt overtakes me, even more so when I consider that I’m capable of making it all happen again. It’s an ignorant mindset to not realize my words could have devastating ripples around me. However, second chances are not meant to be taken for granted, and I would be a selfish, ungrateful asshole if I ever did that.
Still, there are moments where I catch myself flinching away from Mag because I’m… I’m afraid of not being able to control this power. At my weakest moments, my mind derails and thinks maybe she would be safer without me. If I’m with her, I might enact the same mistake again, and send us back into that damned future. I mean, how do you keep those inhumane tendencies at bay, especially when you’ve been giving into them for the last several hundred years or so? How do you rewire yourself?
Well, I can tell you, it’s not a single pony job. Love really is a two way street. I’m helping build her back up again, and little does she know, she’s doing the same for me.
And there you have it. The story of Curse Word, the pony who finally found her Beloved, but only after losing herself along the way to the twisted, grotesque nature that rises in ponies out of loneliness and bitterness. This isn’t supposed to be some kind of narrative where you find this clear cut moral of how to be a better pony, because it’s more complicated than that. Life is this mixture of the blacks and whites; dark and light grays where you have to find your own way. Sometimes there aren’t any definitive answers, no matter how hard you search.
I mean, except for how much of a bitch Ink Dye is. There’s no denying that.
----------------------------------------------------------------
“This sunset is gorgeous. I love the colors fading into each other like that.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“…Is everything ok, Cursey? You’ve seemed a bit out of it lately.”
“Oh? Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired is all.”
“You… didn’t sleep again, did you?”
“You can read me like an open book sometimes, you know that?”
“Well, you’re my Cursey. So, of course, I can.”
“Mag… if I ever did something… horrible, would you still love me?”
“How horrible are we talking? Like eating the last piece of cake, because I’m not sure about—“
“No, you dork. I mean… something really bad. Like, hurting somepony.”
“They’d have to really fuck with you to make you want to hurt them.”
“But what if they were innocent, and just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“But there has to be a reason why you would hurt that pony. You wouldn’t just go around hurting ponies without rhyme or reason. There’s always a reason.”
“Mag, just answer the question. Would you still love me?”
“Cursey, I’m always going to love you. No matter what. I’m never going to leave you, remember?”
“…Promise?”
“Promise. Besides, you don’t have a rotten bone in your whole body.”
“…Not anymore at least.”
“Did you say something?”
“No, nothing. I love you Mag.”
