Fallout Equestria: No Kings or Men, Only Gods

As Jingo awoke, he was momentarily startled by just how green the world was. He felt a panicked yelp bottled up in his throat, as fear began to claw at him. His encounter with the cabbages was still fresh in his terror-stricken mind.

However, his nerves rapidly settled when he realized that this wasn’t the accursed vegetable but something else.

Was this grass?

He had never seen grass before, but he remembered stories of it. Tales from the past when the world literally grew food out of the ground and not everyone resorted to cannibalism.

It was a fantastic sight, but also oddly peculiar. Something was strange about this place. And not just the alienness of it.

It took Jingo a moment to realize what it was. This landscape may look beautiful and lively but it was even deader than home. There was no sound here, no wind, no insects buzzing, not even the sound of his own breathing.

Was he even breathing?

He attempted to inhale and nothing entered his lungs.

Was he dead?

He didn’t feel dead.

Jingo took a closer look at his surroundings. Grass filled the immediate area and the only distinctive feature was a nearby hill. The grass was tall and unkept, reaching up to his torso.

Yet there was no sensation of it upon his flesh. Jingo was notoriously ticklish, yet the grass against his sensitive stomach couldn’t so much as illicit a stifled giggle.

Above him was a clear blue sky, with fluffy white clouds frozen in place. Yet there was no sun, even though it was daytime. Even with this oddity, the climate here still beat the hell out of the dreariness back home.

Lastly, there were mountains in the distance, these purplish snow-capped peaks far away. However, they looked more like an image, with no distinctive shape or definition to them. It was like someone had stretched a picture of mountains over the horizon.

This was his reality now.

“Jingo,” a voice called.

Not quite called. It spoke to him, bypassing his ears and going straight into his brain.

“Who’s there?” he asked.

His voice was silent, his vocal cord failing to produce noise. Yet, he still replied on some subconscious level.

“Look up.”

He did and the sky now bore the ever-present face of Todd Howard, looking down upon him. Even without the sun, there was a heavenly glow around his face.

“Todd?” Jingo asked.

“Please, Todd is so formal. You may call me God Howard.”

“That… somehow feel more formal.”

“Shut up.”

And Jingo did.

“Now, I have decided to take mercy upon you. You were not like those other raiders. You have dreams, ambitions. Tell me Jingo, what do you want from life?”

That was an interesting question. Happiness? Love? Comfort?

All of those were good answers, but they weren’t really what Jingo wanted.

“A corner office,” he finally said.

God chuckled. “And I can give you that. Maybe even one with a nice view.”

“Can I ask you a question, God?”

“What is it?”

“Why were you in that stable?”

God’s expression turned serious for a moment. “I have heard about your universe in the past. At first, the concept amused me. So, I dabbled in it, wrote a little story called Project Horizons.”

“Wrote? You’re telling me that my entire world is just some story?”

God nodded. “It is. A story which I think could be commercially successful if it was properly altered and adapted. I could see it now, a PS4, Xbox, and PC release.”

Jingo was silent. This was some heavy stuff.

“Now why was I in that stable?” God asked. “Well I wanted to experience your world first hand. To get a personal feel for it. And I must say, the story-tellers who craft your reality would be a perfect fit for writing for Bethesda’s games.”

“Huh,” Jingo said.

“Now about that corner office.”

“What about it?”

“I can only promise a corner office to senior management. Do you think you’re capable of that level of responsibility?”

Senior management!

It was a dream come true for Jingoistic Sentry, the soon to be former middle manager.

“Of course,” he beamed.

God smiled. “Then I need you to do one little thing for me, to prove it. It’s a bit of hazing ritual I’m afraid.”

Unseen fingers snapped and once again darkness graced Jingo.

The last thing he heard was a horn honking in the distance.