Twilight the Pimp

Twilight Sparkle abruptly awoke to a smashing sound coming from the downstairs living room where all the books were at.

"Spike, what the hell is going on down there!?"

"Nothing Twilight, just a couple of books fell"

Twilight ran down to the living area and saw the entire place covered in books.

"Whad’ you do nigga!?" said Sparkle in anger.

"What did you just say Twilight? You sound like a gangsta!" said Spike in confusion.

Twilight then stood for a moment and realized her vocabulary was in the wrong taste.

"Oh I'm sorry Spike. I just had this weird dream that I was a Pimp, and I was smacking some manly hoes if you get my drift"

"Anyways, I am gonna fix this problem right now." said Twilight

She magically took all the books and put them back in alphabetical order on the shelves. Although the magic almost

exhausted her, she still had enough strength to continue her daily routine.

"Spike I’ll be back at six. Imma be runnin some errerands if you catch my drift nigga" said Twilight unbeknownst to herself.

Twilight left through the door with her saddlebag.

"What’s a Pimp?" asked Spike as he returned to his duties.

"Man that Spike keep goin all over my grill up in here seriuslee. Imma be sleepin, and this nigga be fallin all my books on the greound" thought Twilight as she walked to her destination.

"I mean this Purple ass nigga can't even hold up some books without doin some mayhem mmm mmm mmm."

She continued to her destination when suddenly someone crashed into her. As Twilight looked up from the floor, she noticed a young, attractive stallion standing over her.

"So sorry, I have to run!" said the stallion as he sped away.

Then another pony came from the same direction who looked Pimped out.

"Bitch give me my money or I'll throttle ya!" The Mare Pimp screamed as she slowed down towards Twilight Sparkle.

"Are you alright, missy? I'm sorry my property just escaped and took my money" said the Pimp Pony.

"Property, what are you talking about?" asked Twilight in confusion.

"Well you see, I'm a Pimp, and bitches pay me for organizing shit for them sexin." said the Pimp Pony.

Twilight stood from the ground with the help of the Pimp.

"Thanks, I feel better now that I have my hoofs on the ground."

"No worries. Hey, if you need work, here is my card." said the Pimp Pony.

Then the Pimp Pony, after hoofing the card over to Twilight, continued her pursuit for her bitch and her money.

Twilight knew that this occurrence was not a coincidence.

"The dream? The Pimp? All of this can't be by chance" thought Twilight.

She put the card in the saddlebag and went on her way to Rarity's Carousel Boutique.

She arrived on the doorstep and knocked the door twice.

"Yes darling, I'm coming," said Rarity in reply to the knock

"Sup women, how-sit?" asked Twilight as Rarity opened the door

"Twilight Sparkle, darling,what are you doing saying such ghetto words?" asked Rarity.

Twilight then stood motionless again as she finally saw what she was doing.

"My Celestia, Rarity I don't know what’s happening; I keep saying slang, and it feels normal!"

"Come in, come in darling. Tell me everything that has been going on!"

So Twilight recounted the dream and the rest of the day to Rarity.

"My goodness Twilight, I do not believe my very own ears!"

"It’s true! First the dream, then the Pimp I met, and finally the language! I don't know what to do!"

"I know, I'll just get some herbal tea, and we’ll find a way darling soon enough."

Rarity went to the kitchen, leaving Twilight to look around the boutique. There were many clothes and cloth and needles, but

Twilight noticed a purple dress that had a matching cane and a wide-brimmed hat; Twilight was enthralled by this dress..

"Maybe trying it on real quick won't hurt."

She put on the clothes and felt right at home.

"Ooh looking good nigga, you straight up gangsta!" Twilight said to herself as she looked in the mirror.

Crash! the plate Rarity had been holding suddenly fell to the floor.

Twilight turned around instantly and saw Rarity freaking out.

"What’s wrong my bottom bitch? Don't you like my Swag?" asked Twilight

Rarity urinated all over the carpet, making a weird tea and urine smell that would have made her vomit.

"Get out you ruffian! You are not Twilight, impostor!" screamed Rarity in fear.

"Yo but it’s me Rawr-it-ty, Twilight Sparkle. I'm just trying out..."

"Get out!" said Rarity in fear.

Twilight ran out of the Boutique with the dress on and ran home crying .

As she got home to the tree, she ran to her bed and sulked all night, ignoring Spike’s presence and crying to sleep without the dress on.

The next day Twilight woke up to the smell of breakfast in bed as Spike came in with waffles and syrup.

"Hey Twilight, you okay?" queried Spike.

"Ya I'm fine. I'm just losing my mind is all." replied Twilight Sparkle.

"Don't be mad, maybe you just need to find out why this is happening to you."

"You’re right, Spike, and I have a lead and an address from lets see... Sour Cush the Pimp."

Twilight then put on the pimp costume and valiantly said, "I'm going to get to the bottom of this!"

Twilight then left for the address and told Spike she will be back by seven.

"Man I'm surrounded by insane ponies, but at least they are sexy." said Spike.

Spike laughed at his joke and continued his chores.

Twilight arrived at the place; it was an old motel were many stallions were all over. She could see a mare paying one of the stallions before they entered the motel. With curiosity, Twilight Sparkle walked over to see what they were doing, and to her dismay, it wasn't pretty.

Twilight ran away from the mirror and went inside the motel to find the seamstress who was also another stallion.

"You here to see Sour Cush Missy?" asked the stallion.

"Why yes, where is that mare?" replied Twilight.

"Right this way." beckoned the stallion.

Twilight followed the stallion to a room where Sour Cush was; it was large, and it had a huge, purple bed in the center.

"Bitch were is my money? Tell me before I slap you silly!" screamed Sour Cush.

"I-I lost it and spent it on drugs, I'm sorry!" said the stallion that was being screamed at.

"Take him to the hole" said Sour Cush.

"Noo anything but that bucking hole!"

Then several ponies came in and dragged him away as he kicked and screamed.

Soon Sour Cush the Pimp saw Twilight and became ecstatic.

"You came, I'm glad, and you’re in proper Pimp attire; that's all well and done."

"Thanks sista I feel so right in this joint. Hey have you ever seen me before? Everything is so familiar..."

"Hmm never seen you in my life other than yesterday, so lets see if we can get your pimping hoof to work"

End of Chapter 1

edited by meenster