Author's Note
A bit of a parody and congradulations to all the Whovians out there. Fifty three years and counting. Adapted as a parody from The Day of the Doctor.
When all Else Fails
Canterlot castle shook violently. Large chunks of plaster rained down on the cutie map as the members of the War council gathered around it. It had been moved to the capitol following the first attack by the entity known as the DALHEX. Now, all of Equis was threatened with destruction despite the massed power represented by the War council. Thousands upon thousands of glyphs representing the entire DALHEX fleet hovered above the map. Despite this, Celestia’s eyes were focused only upon a flashing message that hovered above the map image of Canterlot.
“Equestria Stands.”
Luna looked across at her sister. “What does that mad fool mean?”
The Princess of the Sun simply shook her head. “If only we knew.... Discord, can you make anything out of this?”
The Lord of Chaos simply frowned, rubbing at the eye patch he now wore. “Sorry, but there is too much order in this pony’s chaos for me to understand. Maybe he’s looking to open a pizza parlor?”
“Can’t you be serious? Just for once in your life?” snapped Starswirl.
“No.”
“Guys,” chided Twilight Sparkle, “let’s not get into fighting amongst ourselves. It won’t help anything.”
“But it will feel good, seeing as we’re doomed,” muttered Chrysalis, her chitinous armor covering up the holes in her body.
“We are not doomed,” snarled Ember. “My dragons won’t go down without a fight and they never lose.”
“Says you, sulpher breath,” said Prince Blueblood.
“Nephew... Thou are here as a courtesy liaison between the war council and the nobles. Therefore you will hold thy tongue or I will remove it for thee, one piece at a time,” Luna threatened.
“Everypony.... be quiet,” said Cadence. “I’m picking up a live, magical broadcast on multiple channels.” The War council silently watched as the air above them began to spark with magic. Moments later a sphere blinked into existence. Within it was the face of a brown furred pony wearing a bow tie and a red fez?
“Hello? Hello? Equestria High Command.... This is the Doctor speaking.
A second bubble appeared next to the first. “Hello? Also the Doctor! Can you hear me?” It was followed by a third bubble from which came a much older voice.
“Also the Doctor.... Standing Ready.”
Looking up at the bubbles Celestia winced and groaned. “Dear Faust... Three of them. It’s my worst nightmare come to life.”
“HEY!” Luna complained.
Twilight looked at Celestia, a confused expression on her face. “How can there be three of him? I only know about the Doctor living in Ponyville.”
“He’s a time traveler, with an extended life-span and an annoying habit of regenerating a new body every time he dies,” Celestia explained.
“We have met other versions of him multiple times during our lifetimes,” Luna offered.
“How many?” Ember asked.
“We’ve estimated between ten to thirteen distinct ponies at last count,” Celestia added.
“Princess... We have a plan to deal with your problem,” said the Doctor.
“We should note at this point, it is a fairly terrible plan.”
“And almost certainly won’t work,” cautioned the youngest of the three Doctors.
“I was happy with fairly terrible.”
“Sorry. I was thinking out loud.”
“What are you planning to do?” Celestia asked. The room shuddered violently, knocking several ponies to their knees.
“We’re flying our three TARDISES into your lower atmosphere.”
“We will position them at equidistant intervals around the globe,” explained the younger Doctor. “Equidistant... So grown up!”
“We’re just about ready to do it,” came the voice of the older Doctor.
“Ready to do what?” asked Twilight.
“We’re going to freeze Equis.”
“I’m sorry.... What? What do you mean?” demanded Celestia.
“We’re going to freeze Equis at a single moment in time.”
“You know... Like a stasis spell,” the elder Doctor explained. “A single moment in time held in a parallel pocket universe.”
“Except we’re going to do it to a whole planet.”
“And all the ponies, dragons etcetera on it.”
“What?” whispered Starswirl.
Luna shook her head. “Even if that were possible...”
“Which it isn’t,” Starswirl asserted.
“... Why would you do such a thing?” asked Luna, glaring at the elder unicorn for interrupting her.”
“Because the alternative is the complete end of your world,” replied the Doctor.
“And I’ve seen that,” added the younger Doctor.”
“And I never want to see it again,” the Doctor with the fez declared.
“We’d be lost in another universe... Frozen in a single moment,” observed Chrysalis.
“We’d have nothing.” Celestia replied.
“Speak for yourself,” muttered Discord. “Imagine all the glorious chaos frozen just for me to enjoy.”
“Yeah.... kind of similar to being frozen as a stone statue for a millennia,” observed Starswirl.
“Oh.... yeah, it would be,” the Chaos Lord muttered, his interest suddenly waning. “Why would that be any good?”
“Because you would have hope,” the first Doctor insisted. “Which is more than you have now.”
“It’s delusional,” insisted Twilight. “The calculations alone would have taken centuries to complete.”
“Oh yes! Dozens and dozens of centuries,” replied the Doctor. “But we’ve been working on this for a very, very long time.”
“I’m receiving more magical message spheres.” Cadence called out.
The air above the cutie map began glowing with brilliantly lit spheres. “Calling the War Council of Equis... This is the doctor!” The image of a elderly, long maned stallion wearing a fur lined cap appeared.
“You might say we’ve been working on this all our lives,” chuckled the youngest Doctor. More and more voices were added to the cacophony of messages.
“Good Luck!”
“Stand by!”
“Let me reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.”
“Ready!”
“Commencing calculations!”
“Soon be there!”
“Across the boundaries that divide one universe from another!”
“I’ve got a lock onto your coordinates.”
“And for my next trick!”
“Would any pony like a Jelly Baby before we start?”
“No hugs... No hugging!”
Celestia took in all the voices and looked across at both Luna and Twilight. “I didn’t know when I was well off.... Now we’ve got all thirteen of them.”
Even as she spoke yet another sphere appeared above their heads, this one containing a mare wearing a white hood and sporting a short, blonde mane.
“No!” corrected Cadence. “ALL FOURTEEN!”
The room shook with increasing violence. Part of one wall collapsed outwardly leaving a ragged wound in the side of the castle. The ground trembled and explosions could be heard even through the shielding surrounding the city. Another communications bubble appeared above the table containing the face of Prince Shining Armor. His horn was glowing so brilliantly it was almost impossible to make out his face. His voice was thick with pain. Seeing her husband Cadence’s expression became a mask of anguish.
“Princess.... The DALHEX has increased the intensity of its attack. I don’t know how much longer the shield will hold.”
“They must sense something is up,” Twilight observed. “The cities of Baltimare, Kluge town and Las Pegasus have just evaporated from the surface of the map.”
“The tragedy in Celestia’s eyes at hearing this was mirrored around the room. She looked up at the Doctor in the fez. “Do it... Doctor. Just Do IT!”
“Okay. Gentle-ponies... we’re ready!” He looked at his control panel and slammed a lever forward. “GERONIMO!”
The other doctors followed suit.
“OH MY GIDDY AUNT!”
“ALLONS-Y!”
“FANTASTIC!”
“TUT TUT!”
“SHUT UP! SHUTITY SHUT UP!”
“Oh for Faust’s sake... EQUESTRIA STANDS!”
The world vanished in a brilliant, blinding white light and a soundless pop!”
**********
The lunar surface was barren save for fourteen similar blue police boxes formed into a circle. Within this outer circle stood another inner circle of ponies, all a variety of colors, shapes and sizes. Some were pegasi, others unicorns, though the majority were earth ponies. Each stood holding a hot cup of tea on a delicate china saucer.
“I’m surprised the old tea set survived everything we’ve gone through,” said the eldest of them.
“You say that every time,” chuckled the white furred blonde mare.
“I do not.”
“Yes you do,” every pony answered in unison before they all broke into chuckles.
“Well, it’s not my fault none of us ever remember any of these reunions.”
“Probably a good thing,” observed the curly haired pony wearing the red velvet smoking jacket with lace cuffs. “The amount of sheer power we represent as a single entity.is... disconcerting at best.”
A brown stallion wearing a floppy hat and a ridiculously long scarf looked towards the center of the circle. A crystal sphere floated there silently, the image of a brilliant, blue and green world hovering within. “Now the only question is what do we do with that?”
The pony with the fez sauntered up to the sphere, took it in his hoof and passed it along to the mare. “I think it’s your turn to hide this little bauble.”
She took it from him and slipped it into her jacket pocket.
Any ideas as to where you’re going to put it?” asked the pony in the cricket sweater.
“As if I’d tell you,” she grinned. She took out her sonic screwdriver and gently placed it against her temple, letting it rest there for only a moment before flicking it off. She then went to the old stallion in the fur cap and placed her screwdriver against his, rapidly clicking it on and off. “There! Now, in case of emergency we can all know.”
“You think that’s wise?” asked the pony with the short mane and leather jacket.
Smiling, she turned toward her own TARDIS and paused at the door. “If you can’t trust yourself... Who can you trust?” Moments later, the police box vanished.
“Clever girl,” observed the leather jacketed pony before returning to his own box. The others all turned and went back to their own time-machines, all save the youngest Doctor and the one wearing a fez.
“So tell me?” the young one asked. “Exactly why did we just do all this?”
The slightly older, but not by much doctor smiled. “Because we needed one hell of a cliffhanger. Just let them think about canceling the show now!”
END
