Vivat Regina

“Starfall”

“It is said upon the brightest night, shall the guiding star be born.

With her birth, the land will be enveloped by a change.

for she shall become the light that will nurture the dying embers,

and from those dying embers emerges the spark of hope,

that will reignite the solar fires of a time long past,

and bring us day once more.”

When I thought of death, I never assumed it would be so boring.

I never had that moment where my life flashed before my eyes and I got a complete recap of the ups and downs of my life. There wasn’t any crazy flashing of light/swirling space tunnel and portal to another dimension where I was slated to live out the rest of my existence. No higher power and golden beams of light welcoming me into a land of heaven.

Nope. I got jack-shit. I guess Hollywood did a really good job of cranking your expectations beyond a reasonable level. So, props to them.

So for the past eternity—I can’t really tell time in a place where no sun or moon rises… or anything to gauge off of really—I’ve been stuck in the infinite black, floating in the abyss. I have vaguely limited muscle movement… which totally freaked me out when I first found that out. I panicked for what I think was an hour or so and struggled to do anything to move a limb. Which then segued into me freaking out about breathing and concerns about eating.

I fretted about a lot of things in the first… I’m just going to say “days” of my imprisonment here. It took a while for me to get over my mortality and accept my existence as non-material being living in a state of nothing. I still try and move every now and then, just to check with myself that I am indeed, still something.

Strangely enough, sometimes I can feel warmth on my extremities or hear whispers in the wind. Distorted, spooky horror-movie style whispers, but whispers nonetheless. I could do without those though.

Sometimes, I like to recall past events in my mind and go through them. I mean, my memory isn’t exactly top-notch, but I can still remember things that had a notable impact on my life. Most of it just tends to be memes that won’t actually be any help, though. They are quite good at stemming the boredom, that I’m going to admit.

Just me, my thoughts, memories, and my memes. What a terrific combination.

So I also think I’m starting to go insane, considering I’ve been talking to myself on a much more frequent bias. Creepy whispers are not helping either. Which would probably worry me, but I’m slowly slipping into crazy-ville, so I think I could care less… although I’m not certain. I wonder when the crazy people voices are going to start coming in?

I mean, that’s what happens to people isolated from any form of stimulation, right? Yeah, I think that’s probably going to happen—

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh…!? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?

Okay, scratch stimulation, I do not want to be groped by something very restrictive and squishy! I take it back! I take it back! Oh sweet—! I CAN FEEL IT ON MY EVERYTHING.

No, no fuck this! I want out, right now!

Uuuggghhhh…! It’s warm!? Why is it warm!?

warm

Whatever undulating mass that was currently moving me around was clearly working overtime. It squished… urrgghh! Shivers down my spine!

It’s getting brighter… so much brighter…! It hurts!? Why does it hurt!? Why does everything hurt!?

Pain…! So, so much PAIN!

Fuckfuckfuck! Sto-hah-hop! No more, please…

slick

Noises. Perceiving so many different things, all flooding my poor sensation deprived self. It’s been too long… too much all at once… one at a time... p-please!

Feelings. Both physical and mental start flooding in.

Smells. Tang of something slimy… blood… it… blood? Chemicals… hospital? Was I in a… a coma?

The pulsating feelings… it’s overwhelming… coherent thought… I can’t…!

Was… I really… ever dead…?

NOISES.

pain

Too… too much…!

Harder…

...think…?

...only pain…

confuse

bright

cold

...

soft

warm

...

noise

voice

sharp

…

no more

“Your Highness, it’s over. It’s a healthy alicorn filly!” the nurse announced, wrapping the foal up in a blanket.

However, there was no response from the Queen. Which was odd, considering that she was awake. She was not in shock or in pain. She was listening for something. The dark alicorn had dared not to speak, as something felt wrong. Was it the compromising position she was in that unsettled her...? No, she decided. It had to be the sound, or the lack thereof. Before, the cacophony of bringing life into the world dominated the ears, screams from contractions, the urging shouts from the doctors and the scurrying hooves of the many ponies. Now... it was deathly silent. There were only the soft breathings of the medical staff and foal along with the beeps from their crystal equipment.

Her foal hadn't come in bawling like many of the births she had witnessed. This was an outlier. A discrepancy in her experiences.

“Give her to me!” she demanded. “Why isn’t she crying? Is there something wrong with her? Tell me!”

“W-Well, Queen Night, I think your daughter must’ve been asleep during the procedure… it’s nothing we should be concerned about, we’ve had several cases of the foal being asleep during labor and after birth,” the doctor gulped. “W-We can monitor her for any further developments if that is your wish.”

“You better hope on your life it is nothing I am to be concerned about,” she seethed. Inwardly, she was relieved somewhat. The pony they had procured for the occasion was the most capable practitioner alive, in a way, she trusted his judgment. She waved a free hoof to the door. “Now leave. I wish to… have a private moment with my daughter.”

“Your Highness, w-we must stay i-in the case of any complications—!”

“Did you not understand what I said? Do you have fluff in your ears, doctor?” The dark alicorn asked, a dangerous edge in her voice. She gestured a little more forcefully this time around. “Go stand outside by the door. I’ll rip it off its hinges if I see the moment anything goes wrong... or do you question the skills and wisdom I’ve accumulated over my long life?”

“N-No, Queen Night.” The doctor replied, quickly fleeing through the door. The rest of the staff finished what they could and followed with the same pace. Her slitted eye tracked them as they scurried away, the door shutting with a click.

Now, she was relatively alone with her daughter… as alone as she could get with her entourage constantly tailing her. She knew they were unnecessary, no foe could ever hope to match her. Lord Tirek had been a hassle… and the mad god was always a worrisome topic… but there were no others who could hold a candle to them. The Royal Bodyguards were more deterrents than anything. She sighed and worked out a kink in her leg. Content, she snuggled further into her cloud-bed. For a moment, she basked in the peaceful moment of holding her beautiful new daughter in her leg-cradle.

She brushed the fold of the blanket that fell on the baby’s forehead. The foal’s fur was still slick with amniotic fluid. Gently as she could, she grasped the edge of the blanket and slowly wiped it away. The foal wriggled and made a cute gurgle as contact was made. It made her heart flutter.

In her cradle, she held an innocent being. She held a new life. But there was something that made this so special compared to everything else. She had been the one to give birth to it. She had been the one to toil for over a year, hiding the frequent mood swings and bouts of anger. The cravings for the strangest combinations of foods. The cramping and the sleepless nights. She was the one responsible for this foal’s first breaths on this world.

She had a daughter. “I have a daughter…” she whispered, almost as if it couldn't be true.

Her foal’s mane was a familiar baby-blue… and her coat was an exquisite charcoal-gray. Her eyes were closed, but she knew it would be deep blue.

It slept so peacefully. Without a worry in the world. It warmed her insides.

“For as long as I am, I will protect you, my little princess. I shall never let harm fall upon you…” she said, almost dropping to a whisper. “And I will I always ensure that you know you are loved. I will shower it on you to the best of my ability. Never will you be alone.” That last declaration made her think back to darker times.

She was interrupted from her thoughts as the filly made a low babbling noise and instinctively nuzzled her mother’s fur. “I know what I should call you...” She smiled, adjusting her grip. “From this day forward, you shall be known as Lodestar, for you are my guiding light.”

She pressed her long, spiraling horn to the foal’s contrasting nub. She slowly weaved a specialized dream spell. "I shall grant you the finest of sleeps, my young one. Rest easy.”