Vivat Regina

“The Night and Her Star”

I flailed awake, taking in greedy gasps of, sweet, sweet air. My eyes were wide and I was frantically looking around. I looked to the left. The blinds covering the window weren’t drawn and I could easily see a sprawling city lying under the blanket of the night sky. The light must be playing tricks on me. I blinked.

I just woke up.

I patted my chest to confirm it. I could feel the sensation of being thumped right above the breastbone. Underneath that? I could feel my heartbeat. This was unreal. I’m alive…

So was it a coma this entire time? It had to be. There was no other reasonable explanation. Is that what a coma’s like? Stuck within the recesses of your own mind, chained in a wake of shadows?

I glanced out at the twinkling stars. Slowly but surely, I could feel the fear weave its way into my head. It was absurd to even think about, to even consider, but I couldn't help but do it. Dark whispers flitted in and out. Don’t tell me it was something drastic. Don’t tell me I was asleep for years on end. Don’t tell me I missed years of my life wasting away on a bed. M-Maybe when someone comes around, I can ask who’s the president…! Y-Yeah… everything will be a-okay!

I shivered. I’m not all the great at motivating myself, am I?

I sighed. At the very least, I could observe my surroundings to pass the time. I sat up as best as I could to get a better view. It smelt like a generic hospital room… but it looked way too nice to be a hospital room… I couldn't really see the floor, but the walls surrounding me are layered in a fine… ebony wood polished to a sheen. It’s been tastefully decorated, too. The ceiling has a nice criss-cross pattern going on as well. This is way too nice to be a hospital room. Am I in someone’s house!? I could feel my fear spike again.

That, however, started to die down once I spot a heart rate monitor laying inert to the side. The more I start looking, the easier it gets to discern the things I missed. If it wasn’t for all the medical equipment tucked away in corners, I would’ve totally freaked out that I was indeed sleeping in someone’s house.

You know… now that I also think about it… my home looks crummy in comparison to this single room. That totally bummed me out. One, out of jealousy that a damn hospital room looked this nice, and two, I'm hoping it’s not going to cost me a fortune simply being in here.

I fell back into the comfy confines. Worry about crippling medical debt later. My thoughts rolled back into the situation regarding my self-assessed predicament. Were the whispers worried family members and hospital staff checking in on me? Should I just relish the fact that I’m not dead? I don’t want to sound ungrateful… no, I’m already moving into the whining territory. I should be content with being able to breathe again. To be able to see again. To hear and smell!

“Perhaps I’m being too pessimistic after all,” I whispered aloud. Well, that’s what I thought in my head and planned to say to the world. Instead, my mouth babbled nonsense. “What?”

Gibberish, again.

“Nononononono, what’s happening? Why do I sound like a baby!?” I gurgled. In the corner of my vision, I saw something. I lifted it up in front of me. My mouth fell open as I stared in utter disbelief.

It simply couldn't be true.

There was no way this was physically possible.

I shook it. I felt the movement.

I did it again to confirm it was indeed, real.

It… had to be.

At first, I thought that coming back into consciousness or the mess in my body had numbed the feeling of my extremities… but this? I could've never expected.

My hand had become a hoof.

A goddamned hoof. Authentic with smooth as silk dark gray hairs, terminating in keratin. Although, it looked rounder than a normal horse leg. The space dividing the hoof and leg was less pronounced, almost to the point of merging with it. It looked awfully familiar.

I traced it back to its origin point. There was no peachy skin that I had grown up with. Just more of the same horse hair.

There was a conclusion sitting in the back of my mind. But it was so absurd and impossible that I reasonably couldn’t accept it. I wanted to… so badly say yes, however. But I didn’t want to lie to myself that this was all nothing but a dream within a dream. Or, to better put it, a dream from a nightmare.

But a dream couldn't be so vivid. It couldn't be so… lifelike. My quiet breaths, the rise and fall of my chest, the encompassing warmth of a blanket, the individual strands of hair sticking out… a dream couldn't do all of that.

It had to be true.

I was reborn as a fuckin’ pony, wasn't I?

That… I don't know… this… this has to be a dream come true but… I stared at the baby hooves in front of me. It was unbelievable. And sometimes I would consider this too. What would it be like to be a pony? How awesome would it be to be living in Equestria!?

I choked. Living.

The word echoed in my mind and jumped around my skull. I had another life before I was brought into this one. All those people I left behind. My friends. My “first” family. I won't forget them now, would I? Were my memories going to start replacing themselves as I grew older? Memories made you who you are. I didn't want to be erased.

I could feel the tears slowly welling up in my eyes. My vision became blurry as water began obscuring everything. I took a shuddering breath. I'm just being… irrational. It won't be that bad.

I dabbed my watery eyes on the blanket. I flopped to stare back at the intricate ceiling. Was it really worth leaving everything behind? No… but… here I was being ungrateful again. People would kill for a situation such as mine, and here I am crying about… about everyone I “left” back on Earth.

I still couldn’t get over the shock of it all. I felt the first tear streak down my face. I should be happy! I should be glad I got a chance that was only thought about and described in the works of fiction!

Yet I couldn’t. Did that make me weak?

I didn’t know.

I was so lost in my own thought, I hadn’t even felt the shifting of weight as I was picked up and turned around. I only realized when the world had become obscured by a black blob and radiant, swirling deep-blue abyss.

“Already awake, and the first thing you do is silently cry. Oh, do not fret my child. I am here. Sh-sh-sh.”

I’m completely shot out of my reverie as the booming voice spoke. I blinked away the tears to focus. As the image increases with coherency each shut of the eye, my shock slowly begins to rise. Finally, I’m rendered speechless as I lock eyes with another thing straight out of fiction.

Her fur, black as any starless night, gleams in the light generated by the lamps. Her mane full of stars billows in an invisible breeze. A long, spiraling spear juts out from her forehead, snaking out from the confines of her hair. Slitted irises watch my every movement.

I’m staring at the Mistress of Nightmares herself.

I slowly begin to shake in fear. What did she want with me? Was I going to be killed? Did she know that I wasn’t a simple baby?

“Oh, no, no! Do not cry! Stop crying! Mother is here. There will be nopony here who could harm you. You are safe.”

She said something again. I saw her mouth move and words come out. Either I couldn’t understand her because she spoke a completely different language… or my baby ears weren’t developed enough for them to understand anything.

What did she want from a baby?

Suddenly, my world became a sea of warm, black fur. Engulfed in endless rows of fluff. Here… it felt so warm… and so nice. I could stay here for as long as I drew breath; that this place was somewhere where even the apocalypse posed no threat. Without any input, I snuggled further into it, cooing.

What fuck are you doing? I stopped. This wasn’t right. Why would I even be doing something like this? She is dangerous! My mind was sent spiraling further into confusion. I should never have even thought about feeling safe near her! It's probably stupid baby horse pheromones recognizing its mother or something… wait.

Waitwaitwaitwaitwait, hold the phone.

No…

My new mother can't be Nightmare Moon… can she!?

I think a week has gone by, and with that time—during the times that I was awake—I've gotten a better grip on my sanity and sort of come to terms with everything. I can also conclude with a fairly concrete verdict. It's official. She has to be my pony mother.

Never mind the fact that I feel safest whenever I'm closer to her, she doesn't leave me alone for very long. If I wasn't worried about trying to adjust being the child of an Equestrian supervillain, I would think she’s quite overprotective. It also got easier to discern when she carefully spun me around in faced me in the direction of two mounds sitting in between her legs.

I would vehemently have refused to even commit to such an action, as degrading as it was to be forced to find sustenance via breastfeeding, my baby-half totally wouldn't have any of my shit. It was hungry, it recognized and smelled food, and it acted appropriately. It was depressing to have to yield to my own basic needs like that…

My eating habits aside, my feelings toward my current situation were a tornado of emotions. I was a pony, which was amazing. However, I was a baby pony, a foal; not really sure how to feel about this. I lacked most of my control for most of my faculties—interestingly, was also the way I found out that my gender botched itself when translating into a pone.

I also didn't know how to feel about losing my masculinity. Was that also a worthwhile trade-off?

Moving on, I now happened to rely completely on another being to be fed, was physically weak and thus required attention almost twenty-four seven. I could barely even move beside the occasional wriggle (damn you developing muscles!). My emotions were also completely out of my control, sharp and vivid memories were enough to send me bawling in tears.

Momma Moon was more than willing to accommodate for everything.

Which happens to transition into my next point.

Nightmare Moon is awfully nice for a villain. She’s always snuggling me or doing some other baby stuff. She happens to talk a lot in horse-speak (Equestrian?), often choosing to speak in softer tones. I think she's trying to reassure me and keep me contented, as you would for any newborn. Horse-speak also happens to be a fairly melodic sounding language, which was a surprise. Does that explain why ponies can break out into song so easily?

Back to the point. Nightmare is sending me some mixed signals. Is this an alternate universe where the friendship brigade managed to bring back her back and successfully reform her? Because if that is, that's probably pretty cool. Or is it another universe where Celestia is the villain!? That sounds pretty epic. So that would mean this is what Luna would end up looking like when she’s had a thousand years to gather strength! Talk about a drastic makeover.

I snorted and giggled.

“Oh, what do you find so funny, my foal?” she said again in the alien language while smiling. She looks so… happy. I gurgled and bopped her on the nose as she came closer to nuzzle. “Ah! Feisty. We share much in common!”

She connected her mouth to my stomach. Oh no, don’t tell—

The Mistress of Nightmares, the Lightbane, the Dark Alicorn: Nightmare Moon, started motorboating my belly. I began laughing like crazy, squirming and twitching to get away. Every time I curled over and caught a glimpse of her eyes, they held a layer of pride and joy. After a minute of “torture”, she relented and held me up in her hooves, Lion King style.

“You are my blessing, little Lodestar.”

You know, this ain’t that half bad. I could get behind supporting nice Nightmare. I wonder if she’s a misunderstood villain here?

Oh, the possibilities.