A Wacky Read

The light pass the water was blinding but it was impossible to close the eyes. Sparkles rushed by the travelers, streams of light, and with them, the eons. Without any sense for body, time or mind, they rushed towards the final tunnel end and its white grace.

A refreshing gasp brought them back to life and their senses. Hati’s skin felt cold and hot at the same time. He never felt such sensation before.
No, that wasn't true. He remembered the burning when he was cursed.

"Oh, no. No!", Hati startled and checked his body in panic. What if he was gone for good now and cursed entirely, like Morty?
But no. He felt his skin, his flesh. He was still leathery and green, still a Lizard.

"Are you fine, dear?", Rex's deep, smooth voice accompanied him and he looked up. Hati was on his knees, the blue claw in front of him was reaching out to his aid.

Hati sighed, grabbed the hand and stood up. His body was cold and stiff. He never experienced winter before, never snow. He wouldn't know how it was to be frozen.

"I'm alright", Hati looked around. His friends were all here.
And they weren't alone.

They were tossed into a somewhat dim lit hall with a high and bright ceiling. Hati didn't bother checking the details, but he was pretty sure the books meant, it was a library.

Everyone looked into the same direction.

There were a bunch of Humans in the library, facing them in a similar manner. The two groups opposed each other.
A few of the Humans held black guns, pointing at Hati's friends.

Hati didn't take his eyes off the Humans. "Is anyone hurt?", he addressed his friends.

Rook readjusted his vest, "I feel a little cold, is all."

"I'm fine", Rex calmly stated while he was readying his spellbook. A well-tossed lightning strike would surely mean the end for the threatening Humans. How dare they pointing their filthy mechanics at Rex? They clearly never heard of him.

By then, Krator was done checking on Elisa. "We're okay too."

"I can't feel my legs", Morty joked, "Does that count?"

"Knom", Hati asked, "You're alright?"

Next to them, the little half-naked Knom raised his thumb. He was okay.

"Okay", Elisa cynically said, "So we didn't die, that's nice."

One of the Humans spoke out loud. "The Stargate doesn't kill. Well", Mitchell shook his head slightly, "Seldon." He stood in front of the unarmed and aimed at Rex. There was something about that dark coated Lizard, something in his look, that felt threatening.

"Yet", the blue skinned mage said, "We didn't die, yet."

The older man with the grey hair and the black parade uniform was calm, he had seen situations like this before. Well, not exact-ly like this. He tilted over to his well-suited friend, "Daniel?"

"Jack?"

"You saw some of those yet?"

"I'm not sure. Could be some form of Unas."

"Sir, the gate." Carter, even while aiming, couldn't resist to take a glance at the gate. They might have another problem, other than the Lizards in front of them.

Mitchell stated the obvious, "That's not really a Stargate, now is it?"

Jack, who was unarmed, took a few shy steps forward, "Who are you?" He stood now next to Mitchell and Carter, who were the ones aiming their black, boxy guns.

"And do you carry any weapons with you?", Teal'C loudly asked them from further behind. He casually aimed his Staff-Weapon in their direction, didn't really have the intention to shoot anyone today though.

"Well", Hati sighed, "I got a sword." His reach to its usual spot ran into nothing and so his hand kept touching and looking for his trusted bar of sharpened steel. Soon he started to look down on himself and twisted his back to search all angles. "Somewhere."

Rook nodded, "I got a gun", but saw no sense in using it now.

Rex's smile was long gone and his look pierced Mitchell, "Bullets can't harm us anyway. You're wasting your effort."

The Colonel didn't flinch. "I'm willing to give it a try if necessary."

"Look at him", Rex was pointing at Morty, "You think you can do him any harm?"

"I am NOT an example, I categorically refuse." With greater anger, the flames of the skeleton grew, and so it was just for a second that his fire waved all the way to the ceiling.

Daniel spoke up, "Jack, Mitchell, guys?"

"What?", they both asked simultaneously.

"Let's show them some trust, we might earn some in return."

Rodney had his doubts, "They look dangerous to me, don't you think?"

"Don't you think, we could look dangerous to them as well?"

"We could need their help, to find out where we are", Teal'C claimed, and his idea wasn't off too far.

Sam added, "And to operate ... this ... thing." She pointed her P-90 at the Magic Mirror.

Hati was confused. He wrinkled his forehead and bent over to his nearest friends, "You have any idea what they are talking about?"

"Nope, not a thing", Rook slightly shook his head.

"Okay", Jack signed Mitchell, Sam and Teal'C to lower their weapons.

Daniel went past them and a few steps closer to the Lizards. "My name is Daniel Jackson, this is General Jack O'Neill, Colonel Carter, Teal'C, Lieutenant Colonel Mitchell, Vala Mal Doran and Doctor Rodney McKay. We're visitors from another planet and we usually do this a lot, but this time we have no idea how we got here. Can you help us?"

All the weapons were pointing downwards, but they didn't put them away just yet. Everyone seemed calmer than before and they dared to relax a bit.

Suddenly Vala walked up to Elisa and shook her enthusiastically, "Hi, aren't you a sweetie? I'm Vala. What's your name?" The adorable little Elf with her long, adjustable ears and her big green eyes was too much for her to handle. She couldn't resist cuddling her.

Krator's instinct kicked in. With a frown, he ripped her off his Elisa and pushed her gently into an arm's length distance. "What is wrong with you?"

"Oh", Vala started a little curtsy and smiled, "I'm so sorry. I just couldn't help myself." Slowly she stepped back, feeling only a little ashamed as she does.

"We do not own this", Hati started to explain, "We are not at home here. We stepped through a magical gate. I can only assume the same happened to you?"

"A magical gate?", Mitchell asked, "It didn't happen to look like water, but standing upright?"

Morty concluded, "That must mean, there's a number of these rings. Scattered all over the place."

"You have no idea", O'Neill added.

"Alright", Mitchell said, "You know our names. How about you tell us your names now?"

Hati immediately lost his smile and looked over to Mitchell, who still clutched onto his pistol. "We are the music group named Whirly Dirly. This's our drummer, Skipdick, and our bassist Skadaddlepaddle"

Rook joined in and pointed at his friends, "And those are our children Sicklip, Chiplick, Picknick, Sippchick and Crocodile-boy."

"Crocodile Boy?", O'Neill wondered.

"To break the rhythm", Rook explained calmly, "Say that names out loud, reader, I dare you!"

The look on Sam’s face bore cynical anger, she felt slightly kidded, "That's a joke, right? Those aren't your real names."

"Could be", Rook shrugged.

Hati added, "But that would be horrible."

"Except for Crocodile-Boy. Sounds pretty rad if you ask me." Rook had a point, Hati admitted.

"Now y'all play fair", Mitchell applied. "A name for a name."

"We don't have to know their names, Mitchell", Teal'C stated as he went closer to the strangers, "Finding out where we are is of much greater importance."

Daniel looked at Hati, since he looked like the leader of them, "We came through the water gate just as you did. This isn't our home either. We're from Planet Earth. And I think we're stranded here, the same way as you are."

"Wait", Hati got a confused look on his long face, "If they're from another planet, how comes we're talking in the same language?"

Rook asked him to, "Just roll with it", and Hati nodded it off.

"My name is Doctor Mortanius Kältezorn", the skeleton said. "And this is my son, Knom." Knom nodded slightly.

"Well, alright then. This is Rook, Krator-"

"Highpriest Krator!"

"Yeah. Then Elisa, Rex and I'm Hati."

"Well", Mitchell smiled, "Nice to meet'cha. I hope."

Even though the situation has cooled, Rex didn't take his gaze off Mitchell. He was still up and about to make use of his spells. "I say we get rid of them, get it over with."

"No?", Hati slowly turned to him. "Why? Why would you do that? And why would you say that out loud?!"

"Why, just a fair warning. You're all about fairness, aren't you? Let them know what we can do and then watch them flee."

"Wow! We do not want to fight", Daniel claimed, what made Rodney join in, "Yes! That! We really just want to go home."

"Then you don't mind holstering your weapons", Krator stood in front of Elisa and showed off his chest muscles. He was taller than Teal'C and with tail and wings offered an intimidating sight.

"Yes, of course. Right, Mitchell?"

Cam looked around his friends faces, "Right. Right." The black gun disappeared in its holster but he didn't dare to trust them just yet.
Sam also let go of her P-90 but it remained open on her chest.

"Alright. Let's think about this." Hati went to the Magic Mirror and kneeled down at its mechanical mess. With his finger on his chin he made quite the smart pose, but sadly didn't understand a thing. "I have no idea what this is."

"This must be where we came out of", Morty was sure of it.

"Yet it is no Stargate", Teal'C stated.

Elisa stole herself away from her Highpriest guard, "What's a Stargate?" She stood in the middle of the Humans and looked at their gear, "And what are those guns?"

"HEY!", O'Neill yelled and for a moment, everyone was frozen. "Those are dangerous."

She didn't let the old man out of her sight while she moved away from him and around the group. Finally she stood by a tall bookshelf and got distracted. When she bent her neck to look up, she was amazed and couldn't help but to smile. "Wow, look at all them books." Giggling she ran down the hall, pulling her hand down the book backs.

"You come back here!", Krator yelled and ran after her at once.

"She got a point though", Hati was intrigued, "What is a Stargate?"

"Well", Mitchell tried, "It's a big ring, and a wormhole, with water inside, bringing people to other planets."

Rodney chuckled, "That's almost it, yes."

"Well, then you do it, Mister Stargate."

"A wormhole?", Morty asked. "Must be some worm."

"No", Sam smiled, "We use the word Wormhole to describe a rift in Spacetime that allows us to cover vast distances."

"Why the worm though?", Hati asked.

"I didn't make the name. But yes, the name is confusing."

The smooth and deep voice of Rex hushed everyone, "Why, this rift, you say it brings you to other planets? Then it truly is a magical gate."

Hati shrugged, "No wonder I don't understand it."

"I wouldn't call it magic", Sam joined Hati by the Mirror, "It's science. Physics."

"Why, isn't everything?", Rex smiled. "Magic just comes along easier."

Even Rodney checked on the pink framed Mirror, but kept his distance to the green Lizard. "But this is no gate. It's some sort of-"

"Mirror", Teal'C finished McKays stutter, "We dealt with magical mirrors before."

Sam agreed, "Yes, but I don't think this is the same kind. Look at all the mechanical parts."

Hati added, "And there's a book on it. Might be interesting to read."

The Lizard stood up and stretched himself, stood on his toes even, to get a look at the books pages. "By hell. I can't read this."

"Considered we're on another planet, it's not surprising", Morty had a point.

"May I?", Daniel asked and checked on the lettering himself. But even he never saw those writings before. "This is new."

Sam used her time to look at the Mirror. She touched the glass but it was solid. There was no gateway. It simply reflected the room.

Slowly Rex walked up to the Mirror and his friend Hati, who made space for him. His eyes started to glow stronger as his magic pierced the matter and Ether of the Mirror.

The Humans all took a step back. Glowing eyes never meant good news in their experience.

"You think he's a Goa'Uld?", Sam asked O'Neill.

"You tell me."

"I didn't feel anything. There's nothing in his blood."

"Well, then he's clean, right?"

"Right."

"Still", Mitchell added, "I wouldn't get too close."

"And?", Hati rushed the blue one, "What is it you see?"

Rex smiled and almost giggled, "Magic, wonderful magic."

"Wait", Rodney was stressed over this more than he was anyway, "You can see what? Magic?"

The gaze of the mage jumped onto him and he was shut up at once. "Yes", Rex claimed, "Quite."

"And the Mirror, Mister Rex?", Morty pried.

Rex closed his eyes and the glow weakened. He readjusted his black leather coat and turned, "It's a wicked combination of the Mirror and the Book. Whoever made this knew quite well, what he was doing. I suggest looking for this genius, it’s our best chance."

"Great idea!", Vala yelled far in the back, already half way through exploring the castle.

Daniel rolled his eyes and went after her at once. Also Mitchell sighed and proposed, "Alright, we split up. Whoever finds this genius first, brings him here and starts working on the Mirror, alright?"
After a few shared looks they nodded and agreed.

"We meet here again in an hour." Mitchell set his alarm and they all went their ways. The library had two entrances and so the groups split and used one each.

In the door, Hati turned and yelled, "Wait! What's an hour on your planet?"

"Sixty Minutes!"

"Alright", Hati said and turned before he turned again and yelled once more, "Wait! What's a minute on your planet?"

He didn't know how to answer it and so Rook took out his golden watch he carried on a chain in his vest. He walked up to them and showed it to the Humans. Cam met him in the middle next to the Mirror and showed his wrist watch to them.

They held their chronometers next to each other and they didn't look quite the same.

While the watch of the Humans had twelve numbers on its face and three fingers that run over it slowly, the clock of the half-bird had thirty numbers in three colours, separating them into blocks of ten, and one finger ran fast into the opposite direction, cycling around within seconds.

"How", Mitchell was speechless, "What?"

"Time is an illusion, dude", was Rooks short answer.

"Well, just count to ...", Cam did the math but wasn't too fast in it.

"Three thousand six hundred", Sam yelled from afar.

"Right! Just count to that and then come back here, alright?"

"I'm not sure I can count that high."

Mitchell turned around and strode back to the entrance, "Screw this. Come back here whenever! Alright, folks, let's move."

He closed the wide door after him and went down the hallway, leading his team.

The Lizards first had to collect Elisa and Krator down by the shelves before they could go on their way.
Elisa greeted Hati with great enthusiasm while Krator stood by with his arms crossed.

She held a book in her hands and showed its pages to the adventurous Lizard. "Look at that. These books are all crazy."

Hati took the book and browsed a bit, "Owww! Don't tell me those are letters, because that joke ain't funny. Do all them books look like that?"

"Yep. This's no joke", Elisa showed him, "Looks like every book was written by a child, that doesn't know its words yet."

"So many books", Hati almost teared up, "And all of them unreachable."

"What's going on at the Mirror Front?", Krator asked seriously. He didn't look too happy, probably because he had to watch a herd of cats named Elisa.

"We will split up and search the castle for its owner. Or someone to help us", Hati explained as he put away the book back into the shelf.

With Elisa on Krators hand, the group went down the library and down the other entrance hallway. It was a long way down and so they had the chance to talk about things.

Rex was still mad at the Humans and proposed, "I say we put them into stasis and load them off back at home. They will cause some trouble, I'm sure of it. One of them had slight traces of magic in his body, leftovers of great spells."

Hati tried to keep Rex’s murder lust in check, "They want to get back home as much as we do. We shouldn't pass on their muscles and brains."

"Hmm", Rook twisted his tongue, "Tasty."

"You're hungry again?"

"Am I ever?"

"Did you bring anything?"

"You think they got a kitchen around here somewhere?"

"I'm sure of it", Morty said, "But we shouldn't just run after our stomachs."

But Rook already put his beak into the winds, "I smell something. Follow me!", and ran ahead.

"I really wish he wouldn't do that", Hati sighed.

"Why, can I put at least him into stasis?"

"I'll consider it, alright."

They passed the hallway and got to a crossway. Rook stood in the middle and spun around to sniff out the way. Hati reminded him of the dangers ahead.

"We don't know who lives in this castle. There might be guards around any corner. Could be demons inside." Hati looked up to the high ceiling and the noble, rich crystals that were all over the place, "Whoever lives here must be very powerful."