Cozy Shorts

My saccharine persona lets me befriend all different kinds of creatures and manipulate them. I use the power of friendship for my own gain and don't bother with ideology. What's great about telling everypony what they want to hear is that there is no dogma to it.

Perhaps that's why I find myself disappointed in the School of Friendship's guidance counselor, Starlight Glimmer. She used to rule others with friendship as well, but she was still restricted by what she believed. All Twilight really had to do was deconstruct her worldview in order to convert her to team 'friendship is magic'. Starlight had the makings of a cunning conqueror at one point, however, I'm sad to say she's fallen quite far from the path.

But I don't live in the past. The time is fast approaching when the past will be quite irrelevant anyway. I arrive at the Guidance Counselor's office and push the door in.

"Yay," Starlight mutters dryly. She's too busy arranging her bookshelf notice me. "Now I'll alphabetize them in reverse order. Not much need for a guidance counselor at a school of friendship."

Interesting. Even though Starlight is one of Twilight's pitiful lackeys now, she isn't satisfied with her position. I decide to dig a little deeper into that in a few moments, but I'll have some fun with her first.

"Ahem."

"AAHH!" The stool Starlight was standing on topples over, spilling her onto the carpet. It's only through years of practice that I manage to avoid guffawing and fake a wince instead.

She looks up at me, wide eyed. "How much of that did you hear?! Uh, never mind!"

A second later Starlight teleports back to her desk and plasters on a fake smile. I note that her initial instinct is to cover up her vulnerabilities and that magic is her first resort in doing so. I'm even more intrigued now.

When I don't say anything, she laughs nervously. "Welcome! Can I get you a comfort pillow? Security blanket? Empathy cocoa?"

While she's talking she magically hurls the blanket and pillow at me. I restrain myself from calling her a litany of colorful words that come to mind and get to the matter at hoof.

"Uh, I just need some advice," I say, starting up my usual confused, innocent filly routine.

"Oh! Well, I have plenty of that! Anecdotes, insight, midnight confessions... I'm babbling. Go ahead. I'm listening." Starlight folds her hooves and adopts a 'concerned-counselor' pose. She's trying so hard to force herself into the role Twilight gave her. But I've already seen a few loose strands that I can tug at.

Now I adopt a babyish tone. "I think I got my friends in trouble. They helped me study for my friendship test, and I failed it... on purpose."

Almost immediately I get results. Her cool demeanor breaks into incredulity. "Why would you do that?! Uh, sorry. Listening."

Time for the masterstroke. "Well, the Cutie Mark Crusaders wanted to go to this school more than anything. So I thought if I showed Headmare Twilight they're bad at friendship, she'd let them come here with me."

A sly look spreads across Starlight's face. "That's devious! I-I mean, I see."

I grin inwardly. My little gambit has paid off quite nicely. Now that I've heard what I wanted, I add a touch of self blame to wrap things up.

"I guess I still have a lot to learn about friendship," I confess, hiding a smirk at the double meaning there. Part of the reason I came to this school is to hone my talent for manipulation. There are still alot of future friendship lessons to come that I need to twist to my purposes.

"Actually, I think you're doing all right. Sure, that was a really, really bad way to try to help your friends, but what matters is you wanted to."

This time I can't keep myself from smiling. Yes, the ends always justify the means. Anypony that says otherwise doesn't have the stomach to get what they want. There is still some of the old Starlight left after all.

Starlight continues, "The reason the Cutie Mark Crusaders don't go to this school is because they'd make better teachers than students."

I give her nudge in the direction I want this to go. "So you do have a place for them here?"

"Hmmm..." She thinks for a moment and grins at me. "Meet me at Twilight's office in an hour. I think I have something in mind."

"Wow, really?! Golly, thank you sooo much Ms. Glimmer!"

I skip out of the office and down the hall until I'm out of sight. Things went even better than I expected. Not only will the Crusaders be allowed in the school, but now they'll be teaching too. With their help I can easily become the best student in this school and earn Headmare Twilight's trust and respect.

And that isn't even the best part. I had only planned to tell Starlight that I didn't study hard enough for my test. But by revealing the smallest bit of my plans, I managed to learn that my initial assumptions about her were not quite accurate. Within that washed up counselor I still see hints of her dark potential. All I have to do is bring those traits to the surface and break her off from her friends. Then it will be a matter of a few well-placed words to get her to do my bidding.

Once my rule begins, Starlight Glimmer will be a useful instrument to control my subjects. If she refuses, I'll dump her in Tartarus with Twilight's gang.

Serve me or be forgotten. Those are the choices I'm giving her and everypony else. They'd better get used to it.