Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

by Milk_Barcast

First published October 30th, 2018 19:40

A random assortment edgy and weird poems done whenever to entertain passer-bys and people with a taste for the strange. You might find something you like. You might vomit. Read a few and lets find out together!~<3

With the help of Anonpencil, Flammenwerfer, Snu, Alex_, TheInvisibleDavis, and Futterpriest, with inspiration, rhyme help, or making poems all their own.

Chapters

2018
Issues
Yes
27
Soon
Lace
Drinks?
Cheese
Please
Bleh
Love
Rain
Stone
Soup
Kiss
Music
Memories
Pain
No
Never
Why
Why Again
Silence
Another
Clouds
Calm
Stories
Air
Slip
more-a
stop
Ponies
Snow
Drinks
Clouds
Pants
Word
Lurk
Stress
Whoops
Oof
ghost
Something
Late
work
Money
Birthday
Growing Up
Sleep
Precarious
crystals

2018
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

2018

Scoots wanted to die
But suicide is a meme
"Silly scoots, you wouldnt even try"
"I'll show them!" She said swinging from a ceiling beam

Issues
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Issues

Twilight had an issue
Shes wasn't sure what to do
She needed a tissue
She was leaking lots of spoo
From where she's only poo'd

Now Twilight's in a vexing bind;
Solutions quite elude her.
She's got a swollen, red behind
From all the colts that screwed her.
Her ass is leaking lots of spoo,
When all that it should leak is poo.
Alex_

Yes
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Yes

There once was a Scoota from Loo
Who dreamed of eating her poo
she bit and chewed
at the corn in her "stew"
while in her stomach
something brewed
she laid on her back
and she popped something crude
she leaned to her "food"
from where the sun dont shine
something she truly pined

On the loo sat little Scoots
A bad batch of rioux gave her the poots
Piled all the way up
The toilet wouldn't flush
And the teepee was all kaputz - - snu

There once was a girl Scootaloo
Who had dreams of consuming her poo.
She popped something crude
And she ate up her food,
So desperate for something to do. - - Alex_

27
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

On one fine day,
A stallion with fame
Said "I'd pay"
And he came

Scootaloo was very poor
She lived on the street
And had no door
She cant pay for treats

Scootaloo loved computers
Shed play with a mouse
And with her cooter
All while wearing a blouse

Soon
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Soon

Twilight had a knife
She held it to her arm
She wanted to end her life
What would really be the harm

Twilight was ready to make the plunge
Twilight had no friends she could rely
The knife was ready to make the lunge
If only a friend would just reply

Lace
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Lace

Big mac stared at the mirror
Who stared back
He wasn't sure
He was very young when he put on the dress
But something felt right
As if the world had clicked into place around him
He had to keep it a secret though
His friends and family would ridicule him
He could never be in public
It was only for those brief, private moments
That he could feel comfortable
In his own home

Drinks?
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Drinks?

Berry Punch sat in a room
Holding on to a broom
A bottle in hoof
Her liver, through the roof
The room began to spin
Her mouth tasted of gin
She slumped in a heap
In hopes to get some sleep

Berry Pinch stared down
To the pony on the ground
The mare she called mother
She never cared for another
Berry pinch made some food
And began to brood
Stallions were around
Murder was abound
Berry pinch could take a knife
And end her mothers life
She'd be free
To climb trees
To be a filly
And to be silly
To not clean the floor
Of the vomit at her door

Cheese
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Cheese

Rarity loves her kinks
She loved to stick things in her pink
Today she found some cheese
The thought of those delicious curds
That block of cheddar is such a tease
To be honest, i looked like a turd
Would rarity dare?
Would anyone care?
If she stuck that Gruyere
In her "dairy-air"?
If she held a pink party
With that havarti?

Please
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Please

Rainbow Dash was flying today
Or rather, she was falling
The ground was a ways away
And her eyes, they were balling

Shed flown as high as she could
Until her wings began to collapse
She didn't know if she would
for her wings to give some more flaps

The ground was coming fast
Shed never pushed herself this far
She always pulled up in the past
She'd always pushed the bar

This time she aimed too high
This time her life was on the line
How would she make it by?
Why didn't she read the signs?

Bleh
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Bleh

Zephyr Breeze was scared
The future was a strange place
He sat and stared
At the a bottle's base
Finished was the wine
no food had he dined
He sat in the dark
on a cold chair
in the park
He'd shaved his hair

Love
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Love

Rainbow sat on her phone
Sitting in her house
She was a sleepy pone
As quiet as a mouse
Shed not moved or eatin' today
She wont move tomorrow
She didn't move yesterday
It filled her friends with sorrow
Scootaloo said goodbye
She was off to school
But she wouldn't cry
Shed forgotten her knife
Inside rainbows heart
Shed used to end her life
Maybe shed take rainbow apart

Rain
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Rain

Rarity sat in her shop
She stared out the window
She watched the raindrop
While she sat on her pillow

Rarity needed to make dresses
She hasn't paid the bills
The local news ran their presses
"Carousel Boutique closes their tills"

The love for the craft was gone
It brought no excitement to her
Not the linen, satin, or rayon
Nor the silk, wool, or polyester

The motivation was missing
The love for fabrics disappeared
Rarity was reminiscing
Of a time the future was un-feared

Stone
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Stone

Fluttershy stood over the the deep grave
She stared at the small wooden box
She tried her best to be brave
She had said good bye to the little fix

The fox came to her broken
He was looking for Kindness
He hoped to only poke in
He was awe stuck by her politeness

Their time together was brief
He'd finally found relief
Cut down in his prime
It was his time

Fluttershy had known this
She gave him bliss
Before he had to sleep
to never make a peep

Soup
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Soup

The pot sat on the fire
Burning and boiling
Something she'd never tire
Was cooking, with its toiling

She'd sharpened the knives
Sauteed the meat
Sliced the chives
It was a grand feet

She wasn't the best chef
But she loved it all the same
"Cooking for oneself
was no shame."

She'd say as she stirred
Sitting alone in the kitchen
But she was demurred
Wishing for someone she was smitten

"One day soon."
She'd said
"I'll have a family, to commune
to make sure they're fed"

Kiss
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Kiss

Twilight was sad
Celestia seemed mad
She wasn't sure what she did
But Celestia seemed livid

She was only studying one of the books
Shed found in the library's many nooks
"The Trials and Tribulations
of Long Distance Teleportation."

She was so excited to show Celestia
She'd channeled her magics
Off to Tia, the best-ia
To show her the practice

A loud pop in the throne room
A shrill shriek
It was a thunderous boom
The guards dared only peek

A purple mass of flesh and bone
Celestia should have known
Appeared before the princess
Twilight sat before her skin-less

This would be a long night
And truly a fright
Celestia would have to fix this mess
Celestia was filled with stress

Music
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Music

Big mac sat in his dress
The music in his room
Provided relief from his distress
With its slow and deep boom

Vinyl Scratch had given him some records
Slower then her usual fair
Vinyl said, "Music has its own rewards."
He swore he saw her blink behind her eye wear.

He began to slowly tap his feet
The curls of his wig bouncing in time
To the musical beat
It was truly sublime

To have his weekly private time
To feel normal for a day
He began to pantomime
The music bumped forte

The door closed with a slam
His wig ruffled into a tuft
Apple jack stood at the jamb
She simply huffed

Big mac was worried
His sister wouldn't accept him
He felt so hurried
He'd missed her hugging his forelimbs

Memories
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Memories

Granny Smith was an old timer
Her memory lapsed
due to Alzheimer's
The world around her collapsed

First she forgot the simple things
Like turning off the oven
Or to wear her wedding ring
From the stallion she'd give all her love-in

But she had help from nice ponies
The Orange one with a hat
And the big red one, sure wasn't no phony
But that orange one is a little fat

Pain
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Pain

Fluttershy's head pulsed
Her head ached
It felt like shed been engulfed
Something not faked

She wasnt sure why
The pain wouldnt stop
No matter what she would try
Ever joint would pop

She was found out six months ago
She hadn't told her friends
But her friends were not slow
Theyd seen the painful trends

Fluttershy was ready to go
Her animals had all gone
Their families in tow
Flutters wouldnt see the dawn

No
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Something was wrong
Fluttershy could see the sun
It had been too long
She was supposed to be done

The cancer had won
The doctors wouldn't operate
She wasn't having any fun
Will Death not even cooperate?

Twilight was standing over her
Holding a bloody mass of flesh
Twilight had said it was the tumor
It was wrapped in her magical mesh

She was grateful to be alive
But she felt wronged
Twilight did something truly contrive
Her life had been prolonged

Now more than ever
She felt so out of breath
Twilight spoke and sounded so clever
Fluttershy only wished for death

Never
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Never

Trixie sat in her carriage
Looking up at twilight
Trixie dreamed of their marriage
Twilight looked down and only saw a blight

Why
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Why

Scootaloo sat in a chair
She didn't have a care
The poison had done its job
Her head began to bob

She wasn't long for life
her life was so full of strife
Her vision went black
Her senses began to lack

She was on the floor
The tears began to pour
It was all finally over
Off to the pasture clover

Why Again
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Why Again

The wind rushed past scootaloo
The wind bellowed, puffed, and blew
She was soaring higher then the clouds
Her parents were oh so proud

Everything she ever wanted
To never again, be punted
But something was a miss
Like everything was fake, and not just bliss

World around her began to melt
Her chest tighten, worse then she ever felt
Soon there was darkness
And she opened her eyes to the starkness

A hospital room in the dark
From the window she could see the park
She thought she finally won
That she'd finally be done

But there sat rainbow
Her family in tow
No matter how she tried
She could only cry

Life wasn't done with her
Life was ready to cause a stir
Another wrench in her plans
Her eyes opened up like dams

Silence
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Silence

Applejack stood in the mud
She jammed her hoof deeper
She was creating a flood
It all gushed from her pink peeper

Her family looked on in disgust
She didn't care
She was about to bust
She gave them a burning glare

and she drenched them
They were covered in her stickiness
The flow wouldn't stem
Applebloom screamed, "THE STICKINESS!"

Another
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Another

Nurse Redheart's mind drifted aimlessly
She stared at the flat line moving along the screen
She watched as protocol was ignored so blatantly
It was only moments prior the patient was about to preen

It was just another day in the ER
Doctors rushing too and fro
Death was on par
in the window sill, sat a lone crow

Clouds
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Clouds

Derpy sat proud
She'd made a cloud
She looked down
Towards the town

Maybe they'd like to see
A cloud made of pee
Derpy isn't sure how she did it
Would Twilight throw a fit?

Derpy doesn't care
She flipped her hair
Off to the ponies
To show shes no phony

Calm
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Calm

The screaming broke through the night
It tore through the air like a dogs bite
Diamond Tiara sat listening to the fight
Her mom repeated insults, so trite

Diamond sat and watched them with malice
How could they both be so callous?
They lived in a house like a palace
They drank plenty from life's chalice

They had all they could ever want
Why did they put up such a front?
Their wealth was always out to flaunt
As if it were all nonchalant

Was this how ponies were to act?
Was this just life, matter off fact?
Was this anger something she lacked?
If this is how it is, then she too, wouldn't retract

Stories
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Stories

Derpy sat and stared at the fire
the flames danced along the wood
All she could do was sit and admire
The fire was warm, and it felt good

It was rare for Derpy to have time alone
Her mind drifted to the recent war
All she could see now were the bones
the horrible smell of flesh burning and gore

The faces of friends torn asunder
The heavy thud of armor moving ahead
The tears and cries of pain as loud as thunder
The ponies around her falling over dead

A chill wind brought Derpy back to the now
The fire, long gone and down to smolders
Derpy survived to have a daughter somehow
Why her, and not those now buried under boulders?

Air
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Air

Rarity is white
Rainbow can fly
Life is a blight
Sweetie belle wanted to die

Slip
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Slip

Fluttershy slid up and down
She was addicted to the silicon mass
Her friends would think she's a clown
But she loved to take it in the ass

She had a new toy
It was larger than she thought
"This would surely replace any boy"
she loved this toy quite a lot

But she'd made a mistake
She had lube on her hooves
Her legs began to ache
And they began to move

She came down fast
She took it knot and all
It certainly wasn't a blast
As she took the long fall

The toy now stuck in her ass
She felt the toy to her core
She thought the pain would never pass
As a little blood leaked on the floor

more-a
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more-a

Zecora was a bit of a whore-a
She used to live in Zamora
She had legs like a barn door-a
They'd open for any explora

Popped out thirty foals or more-a
The elders thought it was all a bore-a
So they banished her to the pony core-a
To finish her labor-a

stop
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

stop

Fluttershy had one moment
One moment to herself
These were component
Like a bookcase shelf

But Angel was demanding
He broke her silence
It was outstanding
With speaking a sentence

He'd ruined it all
Unbridled rage filled her
He'd tossed a ball
and pulled her fur

She wished Angel dead
He must be hungry
Fluttershy pet his head
She gave him a cherry

Angel hopped away
Leaving Fluttershy to her peace
But it was all lost in the sway
This moment would cease

Ponies
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Ponies

Twilight sat with her friends
The day was coming to an end
Everyone was coming together
To share gifts with one another

It was the time of year for sharing
For love, gifts, and caring
To be with loved ones
To share love in the tons

But not for Twilight
To her, the holiday was a blight
Feeling so alone and distant
Even next to her number 1 assistant

Her friends were near
The gifts flowed like beer
None of it mattered
None of it flattered

She simply wished for the holidays to go
As she stared out of her window
The snow silently fell
No one knew, but she could tell

She wanted to be like the snow
Disappearing into the flow
The banks growing with every flake
Indistinguishable at every take

She felt so alone
Stuck in a room on her own
Next to all her friends
Sharing their latest trends

Snow
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Snow

Scootaloo sat under a Tree
She was finally free
Ponyville was long gone
Her thoughts slowed as she drug on

Would she be missed?
As she moved through the mist
Would Twilight even look?
Or was she stuck in her book?

The air was getting icy
Things were looking dicey
Did she make the right decision?
This was a bad position

Scootaloo was cold
She broke from the blanket folds
She tried to run back
But landed in a snowpack

Snow covered her fur
Her words began to slur
She felt so tired
It looks like her plan backfired

Drinks
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Drinks

Gilda stared down from on high
She was just around, flying by
Looking for the rainbow streak
She chittered here beak

Nerves wracked her mind
She was in a bind
She'd held these feelings
For how long, there's no telling

Gilda's head is foggy
She feels pretty groggy
Would rainbow like to get a drink?
that question tossed her to the brink

Gilda's mind raced with this thought
Would rainbow go, or would it all be for naught?
Gilda was determained to see it through
Would her heart stay true?

Clouds
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Clouds

Scootaloo looked down from her cloud
She was extremely proud
She was floating over DT and SS
She planned to make a mess

With a grin and a squat
she presented her plot
She sprayed golden rain
This would be their bane

Pants
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Pants

Flutter shy wanted your lance
The one hidden in your pants
She brandished a knife
"Your dick, or your life!"

You weren't sure what to do
You wouldn't go near her vagoo
Being dead wasn't fun
You knew what had to be done

You grabbed the knife
She couldn't have your life
With movements so slick
Off came your dick

Word
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Word

Twilight stared at the Zebra
Her eyes were like a cheeta
Twilights mind was absurd
She only thought of the Z-word

Lurk
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Lurk

Twilight sat with her mentor
Celestia was truly awe-inspiring
Her legs were sore
Twilight was perspiring

Celestia leaned across the table
She moved some fries
"Twilight, have i told you the fable,"
"Of Darth Plagueis The Wise?"

Stress
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Stress

Tick Tock Tick Tock
Rarity watched the clock
Her deadline was coming soon
Could she carry on her tune?

Dresses to make
Smiles to fake
Her heart raced
as she paced

It was too much
Even by the slightest touch
Her mind raced
About dresses needing laced

How could she do it all?
How was she not on the ball?
Did she take on more then she could?
did she take on more then she should?

Tears began to stream
She started to scream
Everything began to blur
How could she even be sure?

She was a failure
A sham of a tailor
A troubled seamstress
Under extream stress

it all came crashing down
She was ready to drown
There was only one way out
Of this, there was no doubt

Whoops
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Whoops

Scootaloo sat in her chair
She mussed up her hair
Work today was a bore
Everything felt like a chore

She made mistakes quite frequent
She was always mentally spent
Her coworkers would remind her
To stay focused and never deter

But they'd do it in a funny way
There was never any leeway
"Get outta the way flightless bird!"
"Fuck off ya turd!"

That's how they showed love
Kind of
"One day ill get it right,
That's when I'll take flight!"

"I'll soar so high,
Right up to the blue sky"
I'll show them one day!"
That's what I always say

But here is where I stay
Never to stray
Maybe ill go
Where they can't follow

Oof
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Oof

Scootaloo dipped and dived
She soared across the sky
Shed finally arrived
She didn't need to try

She flew so high
She she zoomed passed a cloud
The wind stinging her eye
She felt so proud

Rainbow dash flew to her side
But Scootaloo hadn't noticed
Rainbow gave her a tap on her hide
but Scootaloo was too focused

Scootaloo awoke in the night
Happiness all but gone
This dream has become her blight
Shed hoped that one day it would pass on

ghost
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ghost

Lyra was done with ponies
She doesn't like phonies
Compliments to your face
turn yoru back, insults replace

Others said to ignore the hate
But it was already too late
Words stung deep
Into her soul they would seep

Lyra avoided society
It filled her with anxiety
Maybe it was better this way
Her emotions would never sway

No more negatives
From two faced narratives
She could be reclusive
Her life becoming exclusive

Life would be better
free from social fetter
Shed be happy at most
To be a social ghost

Something
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Something

Twilight stared at the bottle
She'd taken the whole thing
No more being coddled
What wonders that would bring

She felt herself slip away
Darkness filled her eyes
This would be the day
She said her goodbyes

She was being carried
Twilight didn't know what it was
Was she being ferried?
She let out a cuss

Light filtered in
The ceiling was white and plain
She listened to the hospital din
She'd have to try again

Late
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Late

It was like a feeling of floating
Being too late
All around their body like a coating
It was simply fate

The nameless pony looked past the ledge
Would the fall be enough?
The ground would hit them like a sledge
They don't look very tough

Maybe they'll be on time for this
It'd be quick
Certainly couldn't miss the ground
The ledge was a good pick

work
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work

Applejack worked tirelessly
Always saving her money
Never spending frivolously
Not even for a drop of honey

She never slept well
Always something on her mind
On work or family, she'd dwell
She always felt in a bind

She tilled the land
Harvested the trees
Her hide was tanned
Her skin began to crease

She worked her whole life
When would she rest?
Would it take a knife?
Stuck deep in her breast?

Surely she was meant for more
Then farming and work
Something other than this bore
It was making her berserk

Maybe there was no escape
From this life dealt by fate
She scratched at her nape
Maybe she was too late

She began to cry
She reached for the knife
Fate had turned awry
Applebloom brought new life

Applejack sliced the pie
Her sister made it all worth it
For her, she'd always try
To never quit

Money
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Money

Rarity thought about money
It was really quite funny
It was needed for everything under the sun
Even if you wanted to have some fun

She never had wants to tend
But her friends would ask her to lend
A little here, a little there wasn't so bad
It hurt her to see her friends sad

But now rarity was in a bind
She was sure to loose her mind
"maybe next week I'll have the money!"
It was becoming very unfunny

Rarity owed some cash
Dress sales don't even make a splash
She's have to sell her house
Maybe she could be some rich ponies spouse

Birthday
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Birthday

Pinky's birthday had come and gone
Another year free of celebrating her day
A day which she dread
What fun is a party all about yourself?
Surely others come before her own
What is life worth if you cant make someone smile
On their special day
even if it was her day too
Warm cupcakes with a hint of cinnamon
Streamers full of color
Music you can feel thumping
The sound of laughter
All for that special pony
You never wanted, or could be
Its your special day
But it can wait
Somepony else is celebrating their birthday

Growing Up
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Growing Up

Spike was a dragon
A baby by dragon scale
But close to adulthood by pony scale
Grow up they would say
Be a stallion they would jeer
Be an adult some would scorn
But he wasn't and adult
Much less a stallion
He was a dragon
Raised by ponies
Trying his best to be what they wanted
But always falling short
He was tired of always falling short
He packed a few of his personal belongings and set out
He didn't leave a note or a sign
It would be easier this way
They wouldn't notice him missing
They'd soon forget he existed
He'd make it to the dragon lands
And fade away from his old life
To never be a problem again
To never be told to grow up, or be a stallion
He was free to be what he truly was
A baby dragon

Sleep
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Sleep

Rose's are red
Violets are blue
Sleep is for the dead
Twilight wishes she was, too

Precarious
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

Precarious

Fluttershy stood at his door
She dreamed to be welcomed through it one day
She'd be standing for a minute more
This day mid morning May

She'd pined
She'd tried
She'd dined
She'd cried

He never held the same feelings
He was never happy
But Flutters found him appealing
even if his mood was crappy

But today, it was going to work
Twilight lent her a book
Today, she wouldn't sit in the bushes and lurk
She gave a hopeful look

Be anon
Watching Fluttershy, while eating bonbons
Shes here again
Flutters was a pain

Open the window
"ayy yo bitch, get off my porch"
You billow
You go back to eat your borscht

crystals
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Precariously Placed Pony Poems Picturing Plenty of Pheelings

crystals

Sombra was having impure thoughts
impure for that of a king
he'd be the laughing stock if he was caught
He settled, and his bell he did ring

The servants, all male
Crystals at the ready for Sombra
He passed, many turning pale
He stared into their double-entendre

You see, Sombra liked crystals
so much so each stallions stick was painted as such
Their hair began to bristle
He enjoyed this very much