“So, Em…” you asked from the bathroom, buttoning the fly on another pair of your pants, “What’s on the agenda today?”

“Eh, my day is empty for once,” you heard the voice of Atlas call back, “But you’re going to have some fun. Twilight needs to run more tests on you.”

“FUCK!” you scream. That purple horse was going to be the death of you. But a thought struck you, “How do you even know all these things? You guys don’t even have the Internet, do you have weird magic cell phones or something?”

“Oh, it’s pretty simple, and if you’d paid more attention, you’d probably notice.” Atlas joked, “Here, come take a look.”

You stepped out from the bathroom and walked over to Atlas, watching as he unfurled a small piece of parchment in his magic. You realized before you were close enough to read it that there were only a few words on it, but once you got close enough to read it, you were even more worried.

NEED ANON. MORE TESTS.

“NO! I refuse! You can’t make me Atlas! I’ll run away and… and…” you thought, “fuck it, I don’t even know how to run away. And I hate running.”

“It can’t be that bad. Just don’t fuck her and it’ll be over before you know it!”

“Hey! I can’t promise that. Not if she sticks me in her sex dungeon, gags me, and literally jumps on my dick again!”

“I thought we dropped this.” Atlas sighed.

“This is a new and terrifying threat! I don’t want to lose my pants again!”

“Anon, please. Of all the things that you should not do, that one is by and large the most immediately dangerous for both of us. I would consider it a personal favor if you could keep your dick dry just this once.”

“I’ll do my best Atlas, but it’s beginning to sound like Em might just be a little bit jealous.”

“Em,” Atlas growled, “is not jealous.”

“Whoa, chill bro. Message received,” you placated, holding your hands up. “So, uh… what time should I head over there?”

“Just go. I’ll catch up with you this afternoon.”

“Alright Atlas,” you concede, walking to the door “and I promise, I really will try. It seems like this means a lot to you.”

“Thanks,” he called as you opened the door to leave.

You traipsed the now-familiar halls of the inn, heading for the lobby and out into the world once more, but as you entered the spacious foyer you picked up on something. Looking around, at first, you didn’t realize what it was. Then you saw the innkeeper, except where there was previously a reserved looking earth pony mare, there stood the same mare now looking chipper and lively.

“Good morning, Cornflower!” you called out, waving at her.

“Good morning, Anon!” she replied happily, “Have a nice day!”

You pushed your way through the lobby doors, taking Cornflower’s words to heart. You were going to have a great day. No science experiments were going to bring you down. You made your way to that big fucking tree with a smile on your face. Everybody was staring at you strangely but you didn’t give a shit. You were a fucking rockstar!

Tree. Knock. Purple.

“Good morning Twilight! What’s-” you were cut off, feeling as if a linebacker had come behind you to shove you through the door.

“No time to talk. To the se-” she paused, “To the lab!”

“Uh, you know I can move on my own, right?” you asked, struggling against her magic as she levitated you down the stairs and into that same chair.

“Right, well… I, uh” she hesitated, “yeah, part of the test is to make sure magic works on you. Which it does. Obviously.”

“I still don’t understand how any of this is relevant to anything.”

“Just trust me on this. I need this.”

“Fine. What do we have to test today?”

“It’s a secret. But I need you to take off your clothes.”

“Twilight,” you scolded, “you can’t just say that to someone. This is a sex thing, isn’t it?”

“No! What! Why would you even think that? Totally not a sex thing.” she deflected, blushing furiously.

“Twilight, I promised Atlas that I wouldn’t fuck you.”

“Atlas? What does he have to do with any of this? He's not here!”

“He’s my friend, Twilight. And if he asks me not to do this, I’m inclined to listen.”

“Wait, you’re not… you didn't-”

“Oh my god Twilight, you can’t just ask someone if they’re gay. And no, for the record, I’m not.”

“S-Sorry…” she whispers, “But there’s no chance I can convince you to…”

“No, Twilight. I made a promise.”

“Please?” she asked, tears welling at the corners of her eyes, “I’ll do anything you want! I-I just need this. I need you.”

“What’s gotten in to you, Twilight?” you ask. Something felt off about this entire thing, and you didn’t want to get involved regardless of what Atlas said.

“I don’t think you would understand.”

“Try me,” you offer, puffing out your chest a bit.

“It’s so… I just… Well, how much do you know about reproductive biology?”

“In your world?” you asked, thinking about replying snarkily before realizing you couldn’t explain what you did know, “…basically nothing.”

“Alright. I’ll start with the big news then, and then I’ll explain what that means. I’m in estrus, Anon.”

“Estrus? What’s that?”

“Creatures don’t go into heat where you’re from? How do you procreate?”

“Oh! Heat, like a bit-” you hesitate, “Yeah, I know what that is.”

“Great. So for ponies, our heat is physically painful. Most mares take care of it either with a spell or potion, but I was stupid and I got my hopes up for something else.”

“Got your hopes up for what?”

“I wanted an actual stallion! I’m so tired of being a lonely virgin, but stallions are so complicated! He is so complicated!”

“And I’m not complicated? I’m a fucking alien to you guys! What could be more complicated than that?”

“That’s not what I meant. You’re, uh…” she hesitated, “easy?”

“Twilight, are you calling me a manwhore?” you ask, shocked, “Oh wait, I understand why you all don’t like being called a horse now!”

“You just seemed… conveniently receptive. You know, no strings attached.”

“Do you really need me to do this? Can’t you just use a spell like you said?”

“Anon it hurts so bad I can’t even concentrate long enough to cast it! I would have needed to do that yesterday but I was hoping to… while we were in the woods, but the Changeling, and…”

“Twilight! You want to fuck a Changeling? Isn’t that illegal?”

“No that’s not! Ugh… Can we not talk about this?”

“I mean I get the appeal, they can be whatever you want and all, but still. I thought I was depraved,” you chuckle.

“Anon, can you shut up and fuck me?”

“Oh, that’s not part of the deal…” you laugh maniacally, removing your shirt “Pick one: quiet or sex.”

You knew which one she picked. You felt bad for her, but you’d feel worse if you thought she felt pitied. You had to hit her with that Anon special before you could hit her with the Anon Jr. special. After tossing your shirt aside, you quickly dropped your pants and underwear in one quick motion, freeing your half-cocked weapon from its holster.

Her breath hitched in her throat as she saw your scepter once more. She was entirely fixated on that which was between your legs. “Um about the size though…”

“Wow Twilight, Rude!” you scoff, barely believing she had the audacity to ask.

“What if I can make it bigger?”

You froze. Could she? “Can you?”

“I think…” she concentrated, “Let me just…” she wound up, her horn glowing to life as that familiar magenta aura encircled your shaft. The unique feeling of her magical grasp was enough to bring you to full mast, but then you marveled as in front of your eyes, your previously average dick leapt forth, nearly doubling in length and becoming half again as wide as it already was.

“Holy fuck, Twi!” you exclaim, “I’m fucking huge! This shit’s permanent right?”

“I mean I can undo it if you-”

“Don’t you fucking dare!” you scream, “Now how do you wanna do this?” you finish, standing up from your chair.

She blinked, her entire form starting to wiggle with anticipation. “Just rut me until you cum. And whatever happens, don’t worry about me.”

“Is it safe?” you ask, “No risk of baby Anons, right?”

She nodded.

“Alright…” you agree, “But what about the height difference. You’re gonna be about yea short,” holding up your hands about a foot and a half apart.

All of the sudden an avalanche of books cascaded down the stairwell, forming an impromptu platform for your purple pony partner, perfectly positioning her for prime pussy pounding. She even had the forethought to cover the top with newspapers. She climbed upon the platform and immediately turned away, shaking her rear enticingly.

“Holy shit. I fucking love magic!” you scream, walking up behind Twilight, “You ready ya fuckin’ horse?”

“Hha-” she shuddered, a torrent of fluid answering the question, “J-Just stick it in!”

“Your wish”, you grunt, lining yourself up, “is my command!” You shoved yourself in as far as you can go, the added length of your now absurd maleness meaning you exhausted the travel you expected with much of your dick still exposed to the open air. You awkwardly waltzed forward the remaining several inches to firmly entrench yourself within her. The feeling of her moist, cavernous interior was much different than you were used to as well, less intense than your Changeling friend, but it also gently milked you even at this early stage.

“Oh!” Twilight squealed, “F-finally. Sweet Celestia, it feels so much better than I thought.”

“Heh, that ain’t nothing,” you say, beginning to pull out from her passage, “Just wait until I really get going.”

“Just fucking do it!” she begged, throwing her weight back against you as you sunk in again.

“Fine, but you asked for it,” you warned as you grabbed her hips. You ratcheted up the speed as quickly as you could manage, shoving your dick in and out of her at speeds that would make quantum physics break down. Only a few thrusts in and she squealed in pleasure.

“A-Aren’t you gonna…” she asked timidly, as if all of her research was wrong.

“Heh, that’s the Anon Special right there. I’m not a two-pump chump like your wimpy stallions.”

“How do you know about that, didn’t you say you didn’t know about Equestrian mating habits?”

Fuck. Lie time, “Atlas told me. Turns out he likes to talk about his dick too. Shame I had to put him in his place.”

“So you did…”

“OH GOD NO! Jesus fuck, for the eighty ninth time I’m not fucking gay!”

“Sounds pretty gay to me.”

“Oh I’m gonna make you wish you hadn’t said that,” you growl, once again speeding up, “Is flooding your pussy with my jizz gay, huh?”

“D-Do it!” she screamed. You pistoned a few more times as the first ropes freed themselves from your tip, finally settling as deep within her purple pony pussy as possible as you rode out your orgasm.

“Shit, I had no idea I could even come that much! Did you do…”

She nodded innocently.

“Damnit Anon, I asked you for one thing, and you still found a way to fuck that up.” Atlas shouted, grabbing you in his magical aura and throwing you against a nearby wall. “And you, Twilight. I thought you were above this.”

“Atlas, this isn’t what it looks like-” Twilight exclaimed, watching him trot over to you.

“Say goodbye, Anon.” Atlas commanded, once again enveloping you in his blood-red magic.

“Goodbye?” you screamed, “Goodbye to what?”

“Atlas no!” Twilight yelled.

Poof.

Author's Note

You knew it was going to happen. You just didn't know when.