Author's Note

So I'm sitting here thinking, seventy something thousand words is, well... That's enough to start getting interesting results if we were to throw some MACHINE LEARNING at it. So here we've got the first iteration of my newest creation - PASSAGE, the Prototype Automatic Systematic Story Assistant & Generation Engine. I think it improves coherence and quality by at least 500%. This will revolutionize story writing the world over.

...Fuck I automated myself out of a job again.

...If you actually believed that, you might want to consider a healthy dose of cynicism. Nah, it's glitch chapter time, fuckers. Strap in and get ready for some incoherence. This one's the big one. SO BIG in fact you don't even get a free chapter out of it. But there will be two rewards for anyone that solves this. Fimfiction doesn't play nice with this, so if you really want to solvify this, I dropped this fire up on pastebin too. I probably shouldn't directly link that (NSFW???) - but if you've ever used the pasta bin, you know what to do with BKTnmFGU.

Totally unrelated, I promise. I've got Taylor Swift's Blank Space stuck in my head SO HARD right now. Brb gonna go get my brain replaced.

Prototype Automatic Story Generator

"Try fucking talking now."
"Wait you're not full? After all of that?"
"You don't believe that. You know how I feel about you."
"Anon, we-" she started, flustered, "nevermind. What brings you down here?"
"Anon, we-" she started, flustered, "nevermind. What brings you down here?"
"We've been meaning to ask. Which came first, Em or Emerald?"
"Chill, we locked the door this time." You whisper back.
"Relax! He's super nice, couldn't hurt a breezie if he tried."
"I hope I've made you feel a little more than alright."
"Sir, your order?" came a voice, "Sir can ya' hear me?"
He just stared, the flame in his eyes burning even brighter.
"Jeez Em, nobody's around. You don't have to be in character."
"Not feeling much from this one either, to be honest."
"Sir, your order?" came a voice, "Sir can ya' hear me?"
"See, that wasn't so bad. It's all gone." you motion, "Poof!"
You shut the door behind you, following Atlas into your room.
"Good morning, Anon!" she replied happily, "Have a nice day!"
"It would appear that way, if you are to be believed."
"Is that all I am to you, Em? A sex toy?"
"I- I-" she hesitated, leaning into you, "I do, don't I."
"Hold on, your Changeling? Get in line pal, Em's mine."
"What I meant was... Do you want to extract that love."
"He really does have the weirdest imagination, you're right," Chrysalis agreed.
"We're not stopping there, are we?" she asked, stroking you faster.
"Not yet at least," she added, climbing up next to you.
"No that's not! Ugh... Can we not talk about this?"
"Fuck, Em..." you groan, immediately feeling life breathed into your dick.
"Jeez Em, nobody's around. You don't have to be in character."
"Em," you asked, your dick springing straight up, "Is it time?"
"And you're a heartless, soulless bitch. Welcome to the fucking party."
"Like I said, they're probably already tracking Changeling magic now."
"Quiet, beast," she growled, drawing closer to you in anger.
"Twilight! You want to fuck a Changeling? Isn't that illegal?"
"Yes ma'am. I did everything she asked. We both enjoyed it."
"No, Anon. Drones are all adults, that would be a nymph."
"Anon. Say it. I need to hear you say those words."
"Wow that was a really good nap. I feel completely refreshed!"
You thought for a moment before answering, "Perspective."
"Sheath? The fuck kinda anatomy you think I've got down there."
"You're always here, and you're the greatest thing I've ever had."
"Howdy..." you offer weakly, not really sure what to say.
"Ugh, whatever. Now is not the time. We have to go."
"What if there was hope? What if they could produce love?"
"And then he denied us for fear of your wrath."
"We're not stopping there, are we?" she asked, stroking you faster.
"No, Anon. Drones are all adults, that would be a nymph."
"Twilight! You want to fuck a Changeling? Isn't that illegal?"
"Anon, come on... you've got to snap out of this."
"Sounds dumb, especially with a name like that," you decree.
"How ya doin' up there bugbutt?" you grunted between thrusts.
The entire group around you stared on in wide eyed shock.
"How are you..." she tried, "What do you think you're doing?"
"Welcome home, Metamora," Pharynx offered "and welcome to the hive, Anon."
"And the second best one I've fucked at that!" you joke.
"Infiltrator Metamora and Sir Anon, here upon request of her Highness."
"I love you too, Em. More than you could possibly know."
"Metamora," you corrected, a bit of an edge to your voice.
"You said purple, right?" she asked, "The spell, it was purple?"
"Anon! I'm not going to touch myself for your amusement!"
You shut the door behind you, following Atlas into your room.
"Em," you asked, your dick springing straight up, "Is it time?"
"You don't believe that. You know how I feel about you."
"Anon. Say it. I need to hear you say those words."
"We don't get jealous, Anon. We get stronger." Metamora explained.
"Ugh that doesn't get any more fun the third time around."
"No Anon, it's just..." she paused, "Magic! That will do it."
"You don't have to," you said, squeezing her tight, "not yet."
"We're not stopping there, are we?" she asked, stroking you faster.
"Because we love each other, and that's something she's never felt!"
"I'm not going to do that," you declared. Atlas's eyes widened.
"Wait, you have Ambien in this universe? Yeah, I'll take two."
"What the hell was that?" you asked, half terrified, half relieved.
"Anon, we-" she started, flustered, "nevermind. What brings you down here?"
"Cold!" she shrieked before shutting off the water with her magic.
"You're going to come out here every day are you not?"
"I-I... We shouldn't fight like that. I'm sorry."
She didn't answer, continuing her oral assault with rapt focus.
"Jeez Em, nobody's around. You don't have to be in character."
"Don't remind me. I already have enough of you inside me."
Metamora's eyes widened, then narrowed, then she grinned back at you.
"Heh... Then you saw what we did after that as well."
"Then come get me!" she whined, "What are you waiting for?"
"And the second best one I've fucked at that!" you joke.
He just stared, the flame in his eyes burning even brighter.
"I'm sorry I wanted to make it special for you!"
"Apprehend them," Celestia directed her guards, coaxing them forward once more.
"Ugh, whatever. Now is not the time. We have to go."
"Sir, your order?" came a voice, "Sir can ya' hear me?"
"What was all that about anything being worth the cost?"
"Hey! Atlas, chill. My pants are still fucking on, alright?"
"Holy shit Em, you're pregnant?" you ask, completely misreading the situation.
"You don't have to," you said, squeezing her tight, "not yet."
"Holy shit Em, you're pregnant?" you ask, completely misreading the situation.
"Em, this isn't normal. I'm freaking the fuck out, come on."
"That's not what I meant. You're, uh..." she hesitated, "easy?"
"Really Metamora, you'd share your lover and his love with me?"
"You make a fair point... What do I have to do?"
"Great, do you perchance have a table for two?" you snickered.
"Then-" you paused, "I- I'll never get hard for you! "
"Is that all I am to you, Em? A sex toy?"
"How 'bout a compromise then," you offer, "How about my mouth?"
"I don't, ugh!" she denied, "Let's just... Pharynx, do something!"
"Fuck, Em..." you groan, immediately feeling life breathed into your dick.
"Oh Anon... Surely you need something to help you fall asleep..."
"Sir, your order?" came a voice, "Sir can ya' hear me?"
"I don't know. But I know how you can start."
"Fine," you acquiesce, "But you know I only love you, right?"
"Just a kiss..." he said, mulling it over, "Okay. Fine."
"Oh Anon... Surely you need something to help you fall asleep..."
"Fuck, Em..." you groan, immediately feeling life breathed into your dick.
"Not yet at least," she added, climbing up next to you.
"Thanks," he called as you opened the door to leave.
"Fine. Atlas. So we go back to Ponytown and then what?"
"And the second best one I've fucked at that!" you joke.
"Then come get me!" she whined, "What are you waiting for?"
"No that's not! Ugh... Can we not talk about this?"
"You want me to reveal myself as a Changeling in public?"
"Like I wanna go back to sleep. What time is it?"
"Then, Anon, if you wish to proceed, you have my permission."
"Excellent! Metamora, show me how you render this unique substance."
"Shit, Em... I'm so glad you let me do this."
"Em, come on!" you whined, "You know I didn't mean it!"
"Come on, we're already cuddling and everything... Just a quick nap."
"Sure, sure... as soon as we can sleep for a bit."
"Hey bugbutt!" you screamed, "Get your drunk ass the fuck up!"
"H-Hive, Anon... of all the times to be gentle with me..."
"Wait, you have Ambien in this universe? Yeah, I'll take two."
"You don't need to. This is a gift, freely given."
"Right now?" she asked, "I'm hungry. Teleportation takes so much energy."
"Infiltrator Metamora and Sir Anon, here upon request of her Highness."
"And you're taller now!" you winked, "You know what that means."
"You said purple, right?" she asked, "The spell, it was purple?"
"Y-you bully! I just came like seven times from that!"
"It would appear that way, if you are to be believed."
"Huh, what? Where are we?" she asked groggily, "What's going on?"
"Relax! He's super nice, couldn't hurt a breezie if he tried."
"Like I said, they're probably already tracking Changeling magic now."
"Sir, your order?" came a voice, "Sir can ya' hear me?"
"We have visual. Restrain and exfil. Priority target is the human."
"Sorry..." you chuckle, "Never have been good at that one... so..."
"Fuck, Em..." you groan, immediately feeling life breathed into your dick.
"I-I... I'm sorry" she apologized, a tear running down her cheek.
"I can't help myself, Anon," she whispered, turning to face you.
"Hey bugbutt!" you screamed, "Get your drunk ass the fuck up!"
You shut the door behind you, following Atlas into your room.
"You don't have to," you said, squeezing her tight, "not yet."
"You know what! Come on, push me over the edge!"
"Holy shit Em, you're pregnant?" you ask, completely misreading the situation.
"She looks like she stole Pharynx's, colors. Just better looking."
"I don't, ugh!" she denied, "Let's just... Pharynx, do something!"
"Wait, you have Ambien in this universe? Yeah, I'll take two."
"Em, this isn't normal. I'm freaking the fuck out, come on."
"H-Hive, Anon... of all the times to be gentle with me..."
Flash.
"What kind of imbecile do you take me for. All creatures have magic. And furthermore, even had you not teleported here, you still knocked out a Changeling, and by all accounts it appears you intended to kidnap her."
"What?"
"Nerrrrrrrrrrrd."
"Yeah..."
Home
"You know what, Atlas," you seethe, "you can suck my fat hairy cock." The same inkeeper from last night just happened to be staring directly at you as you said that. "FUCK!"
"That doesn't sound like diplomacy then."
"Anon!"
"Uh... Your forehead probably."
Knock Knock
"Anon!" Metamora yelled, exasperated, "Show a little respect!"
"Anon!" Metamora yelled, exasperated, "Show a little respect!"
"You'd get me caught in a heartbeat!"
"It's a pest!"
"Why?"
"Clear Right!"
"That's not what I..." she paused, "That wasn't love I made, it was love I held. I fed you, the same way I'd feed love I'd gathered to another Changeling."
"S-Sorry!"
And you thrust once.
"Do what?"
"Changelings don't have nicknames either."
"Anon don't-"
Hoofsteps?
"Sh- He probably doesn't need one, you know how he is. And you seem like a kinda mad scientist," you said, drawing ire, "but in a sexy way - I promise!" That didn't seem to make things better.
"Fuck you!"

You paused for a moment.
"You'll what?"
"Oh my god..."
"Do what?"
"Great, this was a nice family moment here, but Celestia please tell me you're not done yet. I'm cumming in one or both of you before I leave this room, and Celestia you've got first rights."
Schlorp.
"You put up a sign?"
"What happened?"
"Yeah..."
"Yeah..."

Flash.
"No," you whispered, the fight draining from you as you unclenched your now bloodied fist and let go with your other hand. The unicorn you were holding slumped down, maybe lifelessly, maybe just passed out.

"I don't see her around, yet..."

"Shit, I-I... I wasn't thinking, I..."

"Where are we going? Isn't it naptime?"
"Command me as you will."

"Just a moment, Anon..." she trilled, crossing her horn over Pharynx's as a few pink sparks crossed between them. After a moment, he jumped back in surprise before looking at you with... hunger?
Fuck.
"That doesn't sound like diplomacy then."

"Nerrrrrrrrrrrd."
"Em, that's..."
Home
Fuck.
"You'll what?"
.