“So this is Ponyville?” you ask, pointing to a bustling cottage on the edge of the forest.

“No, we still have a ways to go. The local animal caretaker lives out here. I’ve, uh, learned a thing or two about timberwolves from her.”

“What does that have to…” you trail off, “Oh. OH GOD WHY? What is with you ponies and your infatuation with fucking animals?”

“Heh, I was just kidding,” Metamora, now Atlas, retorted, “How did you say it? I just wanted to get your goat.”

“You know what… That’s just rude. Now the only thing I’m going to think about if I ever meet her is whether or not she’s taken wolfdick.”

“Of course you’d be thinking of that, pervert.” Atlas said. You were starting to tell when you were talking to Atlas versus when you were talking to Metamora through Atlas. Mostly because Atlas didn’t seem to throw many insults your way. “This way~”

You followed along a heavily traveled dirt path toward the direction of the setting sun. Along the way you passed by a few other small cottages and farm buildings, finally clear from the heavy tree growth that you had been trudging through for what felt like hours on end. Upon the horizon, a collection of taller, purposefully arranged buildings made themselves evident, springing from the grassy plain you walked along.

“This is Ponyville,” Atlas demonstrated with a wave of his hoof toward the looming town. “The library is right on the other side of town so I’ll get to show you around a bit! It’ll feel like home before you know it!”

“Jeez Em, nobody’s around. You don’t have to be in character.”

“Yes. I. Do!” Atlas corrected, spinning on a dime and standing in your path, “Any time I’m wearing my disguise I need to be in character. I slip out of character at the wrong moment and I die, Anon!”

“Whoh, sorry! I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know, but I can’t take chances, not even for you. Anyway, let’s keep moving.”

You stayed quiet for a bit as you drew on a large bridge over a lazy stream, finally close enough to see some of the finer details. The buildings all had a distinct architecture, looking half like gingerbread houses, half like some kind of pre-industrial European town. The most significant building you could see at the moment was a staggering rotunda at the center of a large open square.

“Ah, yes. That’s the Town Hall. Mayor Mare will no doubt want to make your acquaintance some day, although I imagine she has likely left for the evening. No matter, we’ve got plenty of time to meet everypony. Today we just need to find our way to the Golden Oak Library.”

There were a few ponies dotting the open square, most of them too far to hear you or take notice, but you stayed your distance nonetheless. She was right about the eyestrain, you could already tell. You continued walking until you caught a glimpse of what looked like a merry-go-round from your world. “What’s that?” you pointed.

“Ah, that’s the Carousel Boutique. Miss Rarity lives and works there, you might consider her for your future clothing needs, although she tends to be a bit outlandish with her work.”

“You know, where I come from, things that look like that are amusement rides. You ride painted pastel horses as it spins round and round…” you paused, “huh.”

“Your world has a monument to mating with ponies and you chastised me about it?”

“No, like you ride on their backs like- ah, nevermind. And they’re not even real - they’re fucking plastic or porcelain or some shit.”

“I’m not sure that’s any better.”

“Hey,” you whisper, hoping not to draw the ire of the one or two ponies that might be in earshot, “Whatever happened to being in character, huh?”

Atlas snapped to attention, whispering back, “See what I mean! I didn’t even notice and it’s all your fault!”

“My fault?” you yelled loudly, drawing the attention of a nearby pony, who looked at you quizzically but with a lot less surprise than you expected for a creature you surmised had never seen one of your kind before. You had to think on your feet “Why is it my fault we got back late? You’re the one that’s supposed to know how to navigate out of the woods!”

Atlas looked surprised for a moment before catching on, “I would have easily been out of the forest in time to eat dinner at a reasonable hour if you didn’t basically crash into me from the sky!”

“Hey, nothing I could have done about that!” you said, quieting down as the pony had stopped paying attention to your squabble, “Plus, we both got something out of it, so you’re welcome!”

“You’re right… Let’s keep going or we’ll never make it to the Library in time.” Atlas conceded, directing you onward.

You passed by several more interesting buildings: Sugarcube Corner, some store that sold pens and couches, a quaint looking café that Atlas informed you had the best daffodil sandwich ever - you were no longer interested. Finally, after all of the brightly colored buildings and even more brightly colored ponies blended together, you finally reached… a really big tree.

“This is where we’re headed? It’s a tree!”

“Yep! This is the Golden Oak Library. It’s kinda in the name there. Of course it’s after hours so we’ll have to knock on the-” The door swung open, revealing a purple unicorn that managed to exactly capture the essence of a shotgun-toting dad whose daughter had just been returned home late on Prom Night.

“A-Atlas?” the unicorn blinked, staring first at him and then at you, slowly looking you up and down to determine if what she was seeing was in fact real. “What is this?”

“Funny you should mention that Twily,” he said, watching her mane bristle, “This here is Anon, he’s a human. He just showed up in the Everfree and according to him, evidently he’s from an entirely different world.”

“I did not have enough coffee for this,” Twilight started, “Atlas, do you know how dangerous it is bringing an unknown, untested species into the middle of Ponyville? I swear if I get blamed for this…”

“Relax! He’s super nice, couldn’t hurt a breezie if he tried.”

“I don’t know what that is but I guarantee I could beat the ever loving shit out of it.” You corrected, spouting forth from some untapped well of bravado.

“Ignore that, he’s just tired, right Anon?”

“I’m not tired. Don’t you go around calling me a pussy to peop- er, ponies I’ve just met. I’ve got a reputation to maintain, or I guess build.”

“Did I mention he’s also got quite the mouth! What an interesting creature indeed!” Atlas chuckled nervously.

“You really should not have brought it here. I can’t imagine this ending well. Also something is off about its magic. And by that I mean I can’t detect any. It’s like a dark void of emptiness, even draining the air around it of magic.”

“He, Twilight,” Atlas admonished, “He is a living, breathing, thinking creature, and he’s got a name too. No need to keep saying ‘it’.”

“Yeah, That!” you added, “Also what’s magic got to do with anything? I don’t care about your damn hippie pot-smoking bullshit. Atlas I thought you said this Twilight Sparkle was a scientist.”

“Excuse me!” Twilight interjected with exasperation, “I’m only the most researched unicorn in all of Equestria! Personal student to Princess Celestia, Element of Harmony, and otherwise not a pony to mess around with!”

“Everypony calm down!” Atlas begged, standing in between you and Twilight. You all took a deep breath and relaxed, letting the atmosphere cool.

“I guess I was being a little bit presumptuous,” Twilight admitted, holding out a hoof in greeting.

“I uh… Heh, I still don’t really know what’s going on,” you said, grabbing her hoof with both hands and shaking violently, “But it’s nice to meet you. Atlas has told me a lot about you, he’s very attentive in that way.”

Atlas stared lasers at you with enough intensity that you’re sure you could feel your shoulder catching on fire.

“Oh, I do hope he’s not told any tales. He has a bit of an imagination sometimes, don’t you Atlas?”

“What, huh?” Atlas shrugged, “No idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh really? I may have a bouquet of flowers that remember things a bit differently.”

“Hey, I gave those as a friend! You read way too much into that.”

“Whatever. Anyway, tell me more about how you found this Anon, Atlas.”

“So there I am, minding my own business and then out of nowhere this giant ball of light flies down from the sky and smashes into a nearby log. Of course I wasn’t scared at all so I didn’t hide behind a tree for like 10 minutes or anything, but eventually I realized that the thing that fell out of the sky was some kind of creature. So I waited for it to wake up.”

“And when it woke up, how did that go?” Twilight asked, half prodding for continuation, half as if she were looking for a hole in Atlas’s story.

“When he woke up, we talked. He told me that he was a creature from another world. He says he had never met a pony or anything. Kept calling me a horse for a bit. Highly insulting!”

“Guys I’m right here!” you pipe up.

“So we eventually decided that with all the noise he made, the Everfree wasn’t the safest place to be, so I decided to bring him back here. I knew you’d know what to do.”

“That only leaves one question then,” Twilight led ominously, “Why do you both smell like sex?”

“Funny story about that actually,” Atlas chuckled, “Well you see we were in a part of the forest where, um,”

“CHANGELINGS” you shout, watching both Atlas and Twilight stiffen, each for different reasons.

“No thats not quite, um, uh… Right. He landed in the middle of a Changeling harvesting ground.” Atlas expounded, “The air was thick with it.”

“Atlas, why in Tartarus were you in the middle of a Changeling harvesting ground alone, with no backup, without telling anypony where you were going?”

“Twily, that’s my job! I go into the Everfree and I try to make sense of it. I wanted to know why that place specifically held such attraction to the Changelings… Unfortunately my research was cut a bit short.”

“You shouldn’t need me to tell you that that was in incredibly poor taste, Atlas. You know I couldn’t replace you… your research if you were to be abducted by the Changelings!” Twilight explained, something off about her tone there.

“I know… It won’t happen again. I just needed to get some research done and everypony was busy so I couldn’t get anyone to come with.”

“Well it seems like it’s not all bad, seeing as you’ve discovered an alien species. Anyway, Anon can I ask you to come in? I need to run some tests on you to make sure you’re not secretly evil or a Changeling or some kind of escaped prisoner from Tartarus.”

“Nuh uh! Atlas warned me about you turning me into a walking science experiment! You’re not gonna get your sciencey probes anywhere near my asshole!” you screamed, jumping behind a nearby bush. Both Atlas and Twilight turned their noses at the idea.

“I said nothing of the sort!”

“Like I said, bit of an imagination. I promise it’ll be fine. Just a few quick spells and we’ll be all clear.”

“No anal probing? Promise?” you ask, getting an exasperated sigh out of Atlas.

“I promise, now if you’d just follow me in this way and downstairs. Atlas you can wait up here. If you don’t hear from me in 30 minutes, do fetch the other Elements.”

Author's Note

I was just going to leave you guys hanging after that glitch chapter today. But I decided to be nice and give you something real to read too.

Should I add the Slice of Life tag? I should add the Slice of Life tag. Eh... maybe later.