The idiot in a blue box: season one

by Equestriasservant

Episode 1: A doctor and pink pony show Part 1

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It was time...He could feel it coming...The Doctor was regenerating...

The dying time-lord reached out, his aged hands gently twiddling this and that, trying to get the controls of his TARDIS to go where he wanted. His beloved time machine whirred, wheezed and groaned in its old familiar way as it powered its way into space, the view screen coming to life, showing off the various planets and stars and Nebula...The blue box that had been through so much with him. His silent companion. The Doctor smiled sadly as he ran his hands through his greying hair, wondering what colour it would be the next time around. Hopefully ginger. Maybe he'd get lucky this time. He'd even settle for blonde if it made him look stylish enough!

"I know, I know." He groaned as the time machine made a loud pinging noise. "They'll get it all wrong without me if i let them do it all." The aged alien staggered around the various levels of his TARDIS, groaning. "I s'pose...one more lifetime wouldn't kill anybody huh?" He gave a dry chuckle. "Just me I suppose. Right?" His time machine gave a loud grinding noise as though answering. It was alive after all. The Doctor gave another dry laugh, hauling himself up to his bookcases, full of knowledge....well it would be knowledge if he didn't know it all already, curse his ego. "You wait a moment Doctor." He said sternly, tapping his chest hard. "I have something to say to you first."

The Time-Lord lent heavily against the railing, examining the interior of the Time machine that had been his home for so long now. More than 2000 years, travelling around in this little blue box, righting wrongs, defeating evil with the help of his companions, sometimes four or more at a time. Not to mention the running! SO much running! But he was alone now. He had said his goodbyes which had involved more hugging than he might've been comfortable with. Especially with Nardol. Lords, for a supposed protector of a village, that man had been clingy, cuddly even! But that was the children of Time and the Doctor. A few life threatening situations, a mad alien or two and a lot of hugs. All in all, just helping out where they could. But in the end, it always came back to just him and his big, blue box. The Doctor in the TARDIS. He grinned weakly, pointing at the central column of his machine. Time for his last words. Time to set the stage for his next life.

"Basic stuff first." He chuckled tiredly, clapping his hands together. "Be kind...Never be cruel! Oh!' He started as though forgetting something incredibly important, pointing at nothing. "And never eat pears! Never tell anyone your name...no one could understand it anyways." He stumbled, his legs failing him at the last step, falling to the floor. "Run hard. Run fast! Protect the universe as best ya can...its a treadmill you know?!" The Time-Lord was panting now, sweat beading out of his craggy, wrinkled forehead. The man fell against the console, struggling to steady himself for a second. His hands were glowing gold, the light filtering out of him like smoke. He smiled tiredly...sadly.

"Doctor...I let you go..."

Then the time-lord exploded, golden energy pouring form his body, the force blowing out systems across the TARDIS. Electrical flashes arced through the air, filling the room with fire and smoke as the systems inside the time machine broke down. Parts of the central console exploded, spilling out melted wires and sending a spray of scorched parts across the grated deck with a loud clattering sound. The time-machine groaned and roared, tilting alarmingly. Its central pillar cracked, the crystal and glass turning yellow and orange as a bell began to ring, signalling the time machines breakdown. Flames roared from below the decking and inside the pillar, furthering the carnage inside the room, yet not touching the Time-lord, the firestorm of golden energy destroying whatever it touched.

And the doctor knew no more.


Pinkie-pie smiled to herself as she bounced along through the Ponyville market, her hooves smoothly bending and squishing like marshmallows, emitting a loud spring like noise as she bounced, her poofy pink mane wobbling and wiggling in the evening air. A wide smile was fixed upon the peppy mare's face, humming one of her favourite songs. The pink party pony was as happy as could be. Three parties in one day, followed by a friendship counsel with her main five friends. Sometimes being one of the elements of friendship was one of the greatest things in her life. No...scratch that, it WAS the best thing in her life. She got to go on adventures with her friends, save the world with her friends and see things that no other mare might see. Truly, she was one of the luckiest mares in all of Equestria. She had a great job, a great home and a great life. The party-pony was on her way back home, the patented bakery, Sugar-Cube corner. The perfect way to end a perfect night. A cup of hot cocoa and a long sleep in her big, comfy bed. Not that the excitable mare would sleep much. Especially with tomorrow! It wasn't everyday that one of the rulers of Equestrian society came to visit Ponyville. Especially given how busy she had been lately.

BOOM!

Pinkie-Pie paused on her way down the road, head snapping up at the explosion. A bright, golden comet was falling across the sky, trailing smoke as it fell. Pinkie's mouth opened in a gasp of surprise as she watched the object fall. She loved falling stars! They were so beautiful when they soared across the sky like that. The Earth pony watched the star falling...falling...Pinkie's widened in surprised fear as the star trailed down...and then hit the ground hard, sending up a huge plume of smoke and dirt into the air. Pinkie stood there for a minute. She should go and get her friends. She should go find some-pony who was experienced in these sorts of matters. The comet had crashed into one of the side roads, only a few minutes from the main square where various ponies were already rushing over, desperately trying to see what had happened. But she was an element of harmony, the prestigious element of laughter. She'd handled tougher than a rogue falling star. But as the mare inched closer to the crater, staring at the strange....blue....box that had landed there, she felt a rare combination of excitement and nervousness. What if it was a brain sucking, multi-eyed...

"Urgh..." a chocolate brown Stallion slowly clambered up from the crater, wobbling slightly on his hooves. His head was down, fur caked partially with the mud that the impact had churned up. His hair was a strange, gingery colour and flowed to one side of his head in a lopsided, everywhere-at-once fashion. The muck could not disguise his cutie mark however, which Pinkie saw was in the shape of the what appeared to be a pocket watch, with various circular symbols on the front. He stumbled towards Pinkie, eyes closed and mouth slightly open. Then he toppled to the ground, rolled onto his back...and lay still. The only sign of life he gave was the rise and fall of of his body as he breathed in and out, eyes wide open like a pair of googly eyes on a party mask. His dark eyes were clear, showing no sign of a concussion which was a good sign. He simply lay there, staring up at the star strewn sky. Pinkie-pie, who had jumped back in surprise at the stallions' sudden appearance, paused for a second...then put on her best, welcome to Ponyville smile.

"Hi there!" She said happily, leaning over the stallion. "I'm Pinkie-Pie! Welcome to Ponyville stranger!" The stallion remained silent, eyes flickering slightly as Pinkie leaned over him. Unaffected by his silence Pinkie continued to smile. "I bet that impact musta' hurt didn't it?" She giggled. "Silly billy, you should know that Earth-Ponies can't fly. We just flop to the ground when we try that." She smiled wider at him. "Did ya have to much sugar silly? Is that why ya tried to make that box fly around and crashed?" She said smiling wider. The stallion paused...then shot bolt upright, staring around at the grassy road that he had crashed into. Slowly, the stranger turned, swivelling on his backside, turning around to stare at Pinkie who continued to grin in a manic sort of way.

"I'm...talking to a pink...pony." He said slowly. His voice was young and strong, but rounded and smooth, like those of a practised orator. "A pink pony...whose name is Pinkie-pie..."

"Yes you are!" Pinkie chuckled happily as she came forward to hug the stranger, ignorant of the thick coating of muck that clung to his fur like a foul, slimy overcoat. "But you can call me pinkie! Since we're friends now! And what do i call you stranger?!" The pink-party mare giggled, giving the Stallion a hard squeeze before pulling back to stare at him, still with her manic grin in place.

"Pinkie..." The stallion mumbled as if tasting the name. He licked his lips and stuck his lower teeth out, as though he was suffering with extreme under-bite. "New teeth...New voice...Big BIG teeth and mouth...new nose." The stallion stared at her for a second as though deep in thought...then he gasped painfully. The stranger drew in a deep breath as though he had been running a marathon with no breaks, stumbling back and falling against the dirt mound that the crater had formed, his hooves scrabbling madly at his stomach.

"Are you OK?!" Pinkie asked in alarm, now conscious of the group gathering at the edge of the crater. The assembled ponies were all murmuring to each other, watching the gasping and scrabbling Stallion with apprehension, not helped by the large smoking box behind them.

"New stomach!" The stranger gasped, scrabbling more frantically at his chest, eyes bulging like he was having a seizure. "New internal organs! New lungs! Don't like the colour though! Could be arranged better!" He rambled madly, a smile spreading across his face. "AM I A PONY?!" He yelled, standing up, wobbling on his hooves. "New legs! HOOVES! New stature all at once!" The stallion crowed, gambling around pinkie like a child with a new toy. "Brilliant! Fantastic! Stellar!"

"You're pretty funny...in a random sorta way, Mr mystery stallion." Giggled Pinkie as she watched him, resisting the urge to bounce with him. The mare was uncomfortably aware of the crowd gathering around them. They were already on edge from the Princesses arrival the next day. The last thing that they would want is some random mad-pony, falling out of the sky and causing a crater in Ponyville. The stallion continued to bounce and gamble around her for a second then he groaned, stumbling a little to the side as though drunk. Pinkie immediately rushed forward to to steady him. "Heya, did you have to much punch at a party silly?" She giggled. The stallion watched her for a minute, trying to steady himself on wobbling legs. Then he grinned up at her.

"Still finishing my regeneration cycle...leaves ya a bit swept off your...hooves? Yeah hooves." He giggled like a child on their birthday. "I have HOOVES!" He chuckled again, seemingly unable to control his amusement. "Ain't this just...wizard?" He paused, grinding his jaw for a second. "I'm burstin with energy...all over the place!" He laughed up at the group of onlookers, all of whom were watching him like he was mad. "This is waaaaaay to colourful...like I'm..." he chuckled softly...then he stiffened. "Are you hungry?" He asked suddenly, beginning to scramble madly up the side of the crater, ignoring the muck that poured down on him as he crawled upwards towards the group. "I'm hungry."

Pinkie-pie felt a smile bloom on her face. She knew just the thing for this strange stallion....least until she could get the doctors from the mental hospital to see him.


MintBerry-Crunch was hurrying down between the dark ally-ways of Ponyville, her eyes darting back and forth as she ran. Her hooves beat out a mad rhythm on the cobblestones as she struggled to escape, labouring for breath. She had been running for hours. The mare was terrified, tears pouring down her face as the creature pursued her, snarling and snapping at her heals. The poor mare couldn't understand why the disgusting thing was chasing her. She was an ice-cream maker for Celestia's sake! She was nopony important! So why was this happening to her now!?

CRASH

The purplish-green mare slipped on a discarded bottle and skidded across the street, smashing into some delivery boxes and falling to the ground with a cry of pain. MintBerry twisted round on the ground as the beast rose up over her. It was a mass of shifting shadows, glowering down at her with eyes, filled with rage and madness. Slathering jaws opened wide, saliva dripping between them as it leaned over her.

The mare covered her face, screaming as the beast dived down upon her, jaws snapping madly in the evening air....


Getting the strange stallion inside Sugar-cube Corner had been the easy bit, even with all the gathering onlookers who had arrived to stare at the smoking blue box that had hit the ground. Trying to get him to hold still once he was inside the gingerbread house bakery was the difficult part. The strange Stallion had gone completely gaga over the various cake making machines that the bakery used. He was rushing around the first floor like a kid possessed, giggling all the while as he poked the different machines with his hoof and watching them whistle and clank as he started them up.

"How do you lot work a frosting dispenser with HOOVES?!" He asked with a laugh, tapping the device. "Surely this thing needs precision! Not hooves!" Pinkie pie paused, her eye twitching a little with annoyance. Even she was starting to think enough was enough and the pink mare was the most hyper and fun-loving amongst her circle of friends. The stallion whirled to her as she approached him. His eyes lit up at the bag of sweets she was offering him. "FOOD!" He shouted happily, diving for the bag and tearing one of the brightly coloured candies from the bag. He chewed for a second...and then spat the glob of half-melted sweet across the room, watching it hit the wall with a comical, yet very wet, splattering noise. "Are you trying to poison me Pinkie?!" He demanded, glowering at her. "New mouth! Needs new things! FOOD!"
Pinkie-Pie was starting to think this stallion WAS crazy! Even by her standards...but she was a friendly mare and he had had a big fall. The least she could do was try to help him get some food.

Pinkie tried the stallion with fizzy drinks which he spat into the bin, some salty crisps that the stranger stamped on, reducing them to salty powder and even fruits. That proved to be the most entertaining to Pinkie for when she tried him with a pear, the stallion grabbed in his mouth crossed to one of the open windows and hurled the fruit from the shop, angrily screaming something about "devil fruits." Eventually, the strange stallion pushed Pinkie aside and crossed to the fridge. He took an extra-large tube of whipped cream, a loaf of bread and several packets of cheese that pinkie usually reserved for making a late night snack. After grabbing the toaster, the Stallion was working away, humming happily. When the smell of burnt sugar and melted cheese were filtering through the shop, the stallion tore out the toasted bread, crammed the yellow and white melted mass into the sandwich and stuffed it into his mouth. His eyes rolled and he gave a soft groan. Taking his hooves out of his mouth, the stallion licked his lips.

"Aaaaaah!" He groaned out. "Perfect composition of sweet and savoury...delish!" He turned to Pinkie, grinning at her, licking at the remains of cheese and whipped cream around his lips. "Sorry bout that." He said with a cheerful grin. "Nothing like the perfect snack to kick start your systems right?" Pinkie was staring at him, seemingly frozen. "Um..hello?" The stallion leaned in, still grinning madly. "Did i imagine you talking just now? My minds all over the place today. Bit awkward but say lively and all that!"

Pinkie shook herself. "Oh no i love to talk!" She giggled. "Hey, can i have that?" She pointed at the remaining half of the sandwich, clutched in his hoof. The stallion snatched it away from her and stuffed it into his mouth, eyes narrowing at her as he chewed through the thick mass of melted cheddar and slimy whipped cream.

"Npmhpm! Mine!" He said through the mouthful of food, gulping down the foo madly, a huge bulge going down his throat as he swallowed the messy mass of foods. Pinkie felt a smile growing once again at the stallions antics. She liked this stranger....even if he was a bit insane.

"Hey, you never told me your name!" She said surprise, bouncing happily. "Its rude not to tell somepony your name ya know?"

The stallion paused, still licking away the remnants of his disgusting sandwich. "Oh me?" He asked in surprise. He opened his mouth as if to say something. Then he paused and frowned. "I'm...I'm.." The stranger seemed lost for a few brief seconds. Then his face split into a wide grin. "I have absolutely NO idea!" he laughed as he wandered around the bakery. "Interesting ain't it? I dunno a single thing bout myself! It's all wibbly-wobbly, jiggly-jelly inside my head! It's..." Then the stranger stopped again. He had just caught sight of his reflection in the toaster. Moving closer to it, the stallion leaned his head in, eyes widening. His lips trembled as a smile began to grow on his face. Pinkie was sure she could see a few tears blooming in those dark eyes.

"Um...Mr amnesiac?" She asked cautiously. "You alright over there."

There was a moments silence...and then the mystery stallion threw back his head and screamed in a voice of pure delight.

"I'M GINGER!"


Twilight-Sparkle was making her way down the streets of the darkened town, stretching her wings and yawning loudly as she walked, feeling the weight of the small tiara on her head. The Alicorn swore that the instant she found out what had hit Ponyville, she would take the blasted thing off and spend a long, long bath. Being a princess of friendship was a lot harder than Ponies thought it would be. It wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, especially now that she had opened her school of friendship. Marking several hundred piles of assignments was a taxing task, even for a studying machine like Twilight. The princess groaned as she felt her eyes grow literally heavier at the prospect. Even she knew too much work was bad for a pony...maybe a bath and some cocoa once she returned from looking at the damage

"grrrlf......"

The snarl brought the Alicorn out of her reverie. She had just passed between Sugar-cube Corner and another cottage. A creature sat huddled there. It seemed to be a bipedal creature, with a thick shock of brown, matted fur, radioactive yellow eyes and a large, twisted mouth, dripping with saliva and greyish-yellow teeth. The stench of the creatures fur and tattered clothing smothered the Princess. The mare gagged a little as the creature stood up to its full height, bones and joints cracking loudly. Then it was rushing towards her, saliva whipping from its jaws as it ran, gnashing its teeth with a mad snarl.
The princess's eyes widened in terror as the thing ran at her. She just had time to see the limp, motionless form behind the creature, open her mouth and scream in terror...and then the thing jumped at her.


Author's Note

this is something that's been brewing in my head for a long time and its an attempt at practise.
Any constructive criticism would be appreciated
thanks

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