The Wagered World

“...And the tax revenue would most benefit Canterlot if it funded the Council of Peerage.” Prince Blueblood coughed politely. “In my, er, humble opinion.”

“And you do not perceive, perhaps, a… conflict of interest?” asked Princess Luna wearily. “Seeing as how you hold a senior position in that very council?”

“Well, I understand your concern,” said Blueblood - although he didn’t seem to appreciate his proposal facing any scrutiny - “But I am merely looking out for the interests of the nobility. If we do not maintain a certain standard of living, then what meaning do our titles even hold?”

“Prince Blueblood,” sighed Princess Celestia, “Your presentation was very thorough, and your visual aids were, if anything, excessively elaborate. But we have the welfare of many groups to consider, and-”

“The Council of Peerage exists to institutionally babysit rich idiots,” said Twilight Sparkle, projecting her voice through the spacious throne room as she burst through the doors. “The nobility is a bloated tick on Equestria’s flank.”

“Excuse me,” snorted Blueblood, wheeling to face Twilight. “I-”

“You’re excused,” said Twilight flatly. She grabbed Prince Blueblood in her magical aura, along with the tripod stand that held his visual aids, and levitated them out the double doors, slamming them behind her.

“Twilight!” said Celestia. “I am… well, firstly, I am pleased to see your safe return, but… a bit perturbed by how you treated Prince Blueblood.”

“I wish to co-sign my sister’s sentiments,” said Luna, “with the addendum that I am happy to be rid of Blueblood.”

“Princess Celestia,” said Twilight. “Princess Luna.” She drew in a long breath. “I am done with this shit.”

Celestia uncrossed her legs and leaned forward. “Pardon?”

“I had a talk with the girls,” said Twilight, approaching the throne. “The Elements. Sort of a postmortem after we sealed away the Blight Widow.”

“Equestria owes you a deep debt of gratitude, once again-”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” said Twilight, waving her arm dismissively. “Look, we’re all sick and tired of Equestria being in near-constant peril, only being saved by luck and deus ex machina. This isn’t sustainable, your highnesses. There’s… a lot about Equestria that isn’t sustainable.”

She breathed in, puffing up her chest. (She didn’t have the most impressive chest - even after becoming an alicorn, she just had a pair of B-cups - but she presented it proudly.) “So I’ve decided I’m going to be in charge from now on.”

The royal sisters took a moment to digest Twilight’s statement - and an additional moment to confirm that she was serious. “Princess Twilight,” said Celestia, “This is… unexpected. So unexpected, in fact, that it casts doubt on your state of mind. I would be remiss if I did not address the possibility that the Blight Widow’s dark magic has affected you… or that perhaps you are not Twilight Sparkle at all.”

“By all means, Princess Celestia, scan me for corruption,” said Twilight, stopping a few feet from the throne and raising her arms. “All you’ll find is the exasperation of a pony who has been through way too much shit and stayed quiet for way too long.”

Celestia cast a spell that swirled around Twilight Sparkle, surrounding her with ribbons of gold light - and when the ribbons returned to Celestia’s horn, they carried neither the scent of a changeling or the acrid traces of dark magic. “You are indeed our Twilight,” said Celestia. “I apologize for my suspicion. If your latest adventure has left you with frayed nerves, you and your friends are welcome to guest accommodations at the castle, as well as the royal spa and all the generosity a grateful Canterlot can offer.”

Twilight sighed, her anger fading a bit. “That’s… kind of you, Princess Celestia. But this has been a long time coming, and relaxation is not going to change my mind. Equestria is fucked, your highnesses, and your mismanagement is to blame.”

“Princess Twilight, you are our equal in rank,” said Princess Luna darkly, “But your tone is not proper.”

“With respect, sister, I’d like to hear her out,” said Celestia - although her tone was somewhat dark as well. “Explain to us what you see as mismanagement, Twilight. And make your case that my sister and I are responsible.”

“Okay,” said Twilight. “Well, firstly, the royal guard and the lunar guard are pathetic. My brother had plenty to tell me about the challenges he encountered with training, with recruitment, with funding… Oh, and relatedly, cutting S.M.I.L.E. was a huge misstep. They could have been the start of a push to modernize our intelligence, and you backed off because of your outdated sensibilities. And speaking of outdated things, the nobility is almost entirely corrupt. It’s infuriating how they think the law can’t touch them, and it’s even more infuriating how often they’re right.

“Equestria is beautiful, but it’s sheltered, and that’s bred an unsightly strain of xenophobia. Remember how, shortly after I went to Ponyville, no one there even knew what a zebra was? Ponies shouldn’t need a top-notch education, like the one I got, to know about other countries where people sometimes look different. And with our considerable resources, we’re not aiding those other territories in any meaningful way - I mean, intervention is a potential can of worms, sure, but there are situations where we should be doing something.

“What else, what else,” mumbled Twilight, materializing a notepad and glancing at it. “Oh, right- dark magic. You know how to use it, you showed me how to use it, so you know it’s not inherently evil - but it’s outlawed because some bad apples used it to do evil in a very public way. I just think there needs to be some researchinto its potential.

“Discord,” she said. “Needs more oversight. He’s still a self-centered prick, and Fluttershy can only rein him in so much. As for the changelings, we bear a lot more responsibility than we like to admit for the conflict between us. I mean, Thorax is in now, so that’s water under the bridge, but still…

“Uh, let’s see. Oh yeah, foals are always running away from home and getting way farther than they should. I guess I don’t actually know if that’s a problem everywhere, but the fact it can happen at all points to a systemic problem…

“And… technology. The state of the art is all over the place, depending on the context. We have pull wagons and steam engines alongside arcade games and DJ equipment, and… well, it would take a while to explain why that feels inconsistent, but trust me, we could be doing better. We need to encourage research and development in fields that are lagging behind technologically.”

“And your proposal,” said Luna, “is that you run Equestria?”

Two thick binders appeared in Twilight’s arms, and she handed one to each sister. “This is my proposal, actually. It's a lot more thorough, and it covers the logistical challenges of placing me in charge during your absence. Raising celestial bodies, keeping the realm of dreams in order… it's all in there.”

“Hold on,” said Celestia. “Our absence?”

“I'd prefer to run this experiment without you looking over my shoulder,” said Twilight. “You've told me how badly you both need a vacation - and how you've been longing to visit the stars. I propose you take your interstellar vacation, give me five years to run Equestria, and… basically, if I manage to do better than the two of you, I remain in charge, and the two of you work under me.”

“A wager of sorts,” said Celestia.

“I'm very confident I can do this, your highnesses. I wouldn't gamble Equestria’s future on a long shot.”

Celestia sighed, testing the weight of the binder Twilight had given her. “Twilight Sparkle,” she said, “I have given much of myself to the prosperity of Equestria, and to be frank, what you propose is an insult to my dedication. But… I believe that you would not do this unless you truly believed it was for the best. I will review your proposal and return with my decision.”

Luna seemed even less pleased - but she nodded. “And I, as well.”

In the highest room of the highest tower of Canterlot Castle, a flash of brilliant starlight faded, and Spike rubbed his eyes, blinking until the spots in his vision disappeared. “They're really gone,” he said, turning to the window to gaze into the night sky. “I was sure they were going to change their minds at the last second.”

“You proofread my proposal, Spike,” said Twilight. “You saw how airtight it was. They know they're leaving Equestria in good hands.”

“I guess so,” said Spike. “So what now?”

“Now we get to work.”

Brilliant starlight flashed into existence on the tallest tower of Canterlot Castle, and the two royal sisters stepped out of the magical light. They turned their eyes toward Canterlot, their beloved city, but they barely had time to catch a glimpse before two arms wrapped them in an embrace - and two fleshy pillows engulfed their bosoms.

“Princess Celestia!” said the voice of Twilight Sparkle. “Princess Luna!” She stepped back, releasing them from her hug. “You’re back! I wasn't sure you'd make it five years on the dot, but I wanted to make sure I was here to welcome you, just in case.”

“Twilight Sparkle,” said Celestia. “I have a million questions-”

“Oh, you mean about all this?” said Twilight, gesturing to indicate her body. A lot had changed; she was taller, for one thing, just a few inches taller than Celestia. She was more voluptuous overall, with wide hips beneath her short black skirt and thick thighs tucked into dark stockings. Her breasts were so large they couldn't possibly be real - each one perhaps four times the size of her head, hanging down to her waist - but they appeared genuine and proudly defied gravity. She wore a regal cape, tall red high heels, long black gloves, and a crown of silver inset with rubies. She was scarcely recognizable as the young Princess Twilight the royal sisters remembered from five years previous.

And was there something inside her skirt? A rather large bulge, from the look of it…

“Well, I just wanted a new look,” said Twilight. “Something befitting a queen, you know? And now that it's so easy to change one’s appearance - that's part of the progress we've made, I'll fill you in on all that - I gave myself the kind of body I've always wanted!”

“Ah,” said Celestia. “Well, that is interesting, but I was actually going to say I had a million questions about Equestria.”

“Oh!” said Twilight. “Oh my gosh, I didn't mean to sound self-absorbed, I'm just really proud of my new look, and since it's the first thing you saw when you got back, I just…” She paused to collect herself. “Well, anyway - let me lead the way. All your questions will be answered.”

Twilight led them to the window and gestured towards the view of Canterlot. “There’s not a lot of changes visible from this height,” admitted Twilight. “Everyone agreed that Canterlot’s architecture is iconic, so most new buildings maintain that aesthetic.”

“I see some new crystalline structures,” said Luna, leaning out of the window.

“That’s right!” said Twilight proudly. “I’d love to show you some of those up close. Let’s head downstairs, shall we?”

Twilight led them down the spiraling staircase, talking as she went. “One of the most sweeping social changes is… Hm, I suppose the easiest way to start is by telling you that Chrysalis was apprehended about three years ago, and since then she has become somewhat cooperative. She had access to powerful changeling magic - which Thorax wasn’t privy to - and thanks to dark crystal technology, we were able to adapt those spells for use by ponies.”

“Dark crystals?” asked Celestia.

“Yes! Our research into dark magic yielded remarkable results; it’s not surprising that it was sought out by some of the most ambitious ponies in Equestria… it’s just a shame that they were all, you know, evil. The magic can generate a nearly limitless supply of dark crystals, which are an excellent building material in their inert state… and in an active state, they can store and reproduce magic in some fascinating ways. Using them, we were able to make shapeshifting magic available to ponies all across Equestria!”

“And that is how you modified your appearance?” asked Luna.

“Not just me!” said Twilight. “It became a bit of a fad for mares to give themselves penises.” Both sisters made a small noise of surprise, but Twilight plowed ahead. “You know how Equestria is - lots of mares, not a lot of stallions. There’s not enough dicks for all the mares who want to get fucked! And a few mares decided they could solve that problem by giving themselves penises. And eventually it wasn’t just a few mares… it was a lot of mares.”

“How many is a lot?” asked Celestia.

“About half, at last count,” said Twilight. “But it’s pretty easy for anyone to change it, so the number varies. Anyway, a lot of stallions started to feel… left out, I suppose. Being a mare with a penis looked fun and fashionable, and it was easy for anyone to change their body, so… at this point, practically everyone is Equestria is a mare.”

“That is… surprising,” said Luna, as the three of them emerged into a long marble hallway. “So many stallions were willing to change themselves in that fashion?”

“Yeah, I was surprised too,” said Twilight. “We’ve got some psychologists collecting data on the phenomenon, but it’s hard to nail down one reason. I hear a lot of former stallions saying that being a mare just feels more comfortable - they tell me that they can be more open about their feelings, and it probably helps that they get to keep their dicks if they want to. I can speak from experience - being a mare with a nice big dick is really the best of both worlds.”

“Ah,” said Luna. “I did think I noticed… something.”

“Yeah, I’m not that subtle about it,” laughed Twilight. “I didn’t go in a very subtle direction with my tits, either. What can I say? It feels good to big!”

She pushed open the door to a sitting room, where hot tea and fresh pastries sat on a serving cart. A maid bowed as the three of them entered - and after a moment looking into the maid’s face, both royal sisters recognized her as a former stallion who had worked a similar job five years ago.

“Anyway, that’s a pretty big change,” said Twilight, taking a seat on a large, plush chair and gesturing for the princesses to sit. “ Sorry if I don’t go over the changes in a logical order, there’s kind of a lot…” She poured herself a steaming cup of tea, then sat up suddenly. “Oh! Necromancy!” she said. “We’re doing that too!”

The princesses had been about to sit, but they stood bolt upright when they realized what she’d said. “Necromancy?!” said both of them, nearly in unison.

“Yes!” said Twilight. “Not making zombies, of course. That’s still illegal. But there’s some legitimate medical applications, and it permits ponies to speak with dead relatives.” Twilight paused, giving Celestia and Luna a pleading look. “I know this is a lot to take in,” she said, “But I hope you’ll extend me the same trust you gave me when you put me in charge. Equestria’s better off, and I think you’ll agree once you have a chance to see it for yourself.”

“I suppose we shall see,” said Celestia, taking a seat across from Twilight. Luna followed, and poured herself a cup of tea.

“Oh, you’ll like this,” said Twilight. “S.M.I.L.E. rooted out a ton of corruption among the nobles. Blueblood… well, long story short, he’s not allowed in the castle anymore.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” said Luna, taking a long drink of her tea.

Celestia sighed and shook her head - but after a moment, she was forced to agree with her sister. “Well done, Twilight.”