He, Mojowuq9, appeared. He was very confused. He was literally in school a millisecond ago, and had just made a character for r/Bossfight on Reddit. Now he was here. And he was holding....the Say-Kay Forte-7:

"Fucking Sweeeeet~" he sang in a singsong tone, calling out to the day. Looking around, he saw a city. This would be complete okay, if it wasn't on the side of a mountain. Like.....Can....ter....l..o..t..... he thought, his face slowly turning into one of horror.

".....AHH, SHHHHHIIIII-!!!!!!"

Celestia was feeling great. She was skipping happily down the hall. Our ~~hero~~, I mean, our ~~big fucking dissapointment~~, lemmie try again....our ~~weird Clopper dude~~, wait, shit....that'll work. Okay, our weird Clopper dude was not faring so well.....

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII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Don't even ask me how the fuck he screeched for that long. Wait, he's a Notemancer. He needs a voice like that. Sorry for the.....12528 'I's. I'll interrupt him next time. So, he has calmed down. "*Panting*"

"Shit, that isn't from sex. This sure as hell isn't clop."

"Oh....god....why....you?" He breathlessly, literally, said, panting between every word for 1.5 seconds.

"Why not?"

"Good....point. Hah, that was great."

"That's what Celestia will be saying."

"Shut up. We both know you're here for the word count, Clopper. Come on, I'm randomly in Equestria. It's a fic."

"True, I am here for that. Also, I will be narrating all clop." 'You won't be!' the author's sexy voice boomed from nowhere, causing Zecora, who was watching them, to cum instantly, spraying her juices all over the forest's floor. Oh yeah, they're in a forest. Also, writing that back there wasn't nearly as awkward as I thought it was going to be. Zecora managed to be quiet enough for our weird Clopper dude to not hear he-

"Zecora was watching us. She just came, probably due to the author trolling." The voice inside Mojo's head said, that fucking plot-destroyer! Wait! Shit, almost forgot! *Saves chapter and adds Sex/Non-Con tag to the story.* Whew! That would've sucked if I had forgotten! *Nervous laughter* So, our weird Clopper dude walks over to the bushes, to see Zecora panting while laying on the ground, her face completely red. Her eyes were clenched shut."You know you want to."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Yes."

"No."

"Okay."

"Wait, shit-!" Mojo began laughing maniacally, and Zecora, frightened, scampered away, backing against a tree. Mojo noticed this.

"Sorry. I was having a battle within my head with a guy who wanted me to rape you. I didn't, 'cause this isn't Fall of Equestria." Zecora, after a second of looking him over, sighed and shakily stood. She had one question to ask, however.

"What's Fall of Equestria you talk about? It is most likely bad, without a doubt." Damn, that took three minutes to figure out.

"Hmm? Oh, some dude conquers Equestria and turned all the mares into sex slaves while the stallions become the masters with the dude. Don't worry, it can't happen, you guys aren't anthro."

"Anthro? You can tell me what that is, no?" Jesus, writing her dialogue is fucking annoying.

"Basically the species of equus on two legs, and with 'hands', like these." He wiggled his fingers, and Zecora started having lewd thoughts about them pleasuring her... "Well, I'll see you later. Wait! Do you have a quest?" Zecora thought about this for a few seconds, debating an ethical dilemma. She wanted this creature to dominate her for seemingly no reason. Was it okay for her to give in? She decided to,

"Actually I do, a difficult one too, now, come with me, and you'll find I'm true." Holy shit, I read that in her voice. Damn, that makes this shit easier. Y'know, writing her dialogue. Seriously, try it, it does wonders...

"Time to dick a pony!" How to Clopper: 101. Yep, he did it with this one.

"Subtle." Our weird Clopper dude said with a raised eyebrow, referring to Captain Clopper's chosen dialogue. Luckily, any dialogue, unless I say so, that is between Mojo and Clopper will be in his head. "Also, she's a Zebra, but writers clearly don't give a shit that her x pony is interspecies, and don't say so." Oh yeah, there will be clop, but for now, he is walking through the Everfree, avoiding the weird tentacle plants, and when said plants get close, he yells shit about weird hentai and fires his gun at them, musical notes cutting them into pieces, commenting sorry after. After a long fucking time without any interesting shit going on, they finally reach Zecora's hut. Bitch, I'm not going to describe it. *Sees word count.* GOD! Anyways, I guess I will be describing it... *Searches up a picture on Google Images.* Let's see here...yep, there, that'll do. The hut is carved into a living tree, much like a few parasites burrow into your skin and live there. There were a few, actually made for ponies/zebras masks, which was surprising considering the fact ponies have fucking claw hammers, with the same handle. Seriously, what the fuck. Shit, now I want to post that meme format....oh well. Masks were scattered, on leaning against a.....probably root, and one was hanging above the door....a few branches sticking out from it. There were potions, hopefully not some TF stuff, now that's some ganky shit, hanging from the obviously suffering tree's branches, like the eggs of a parasite. TREES ARE PEOPLE TOO!!!! The tree looked twisted, and looked to be surrounded in a swamp, but that's probably just the show.

Before this becomes an issue, more then it already is, we should describe what Mojowuq9 looks like. He is wearing armor made of overlapping Compact Disks, with briefs underneath. Dat btch no likey commando-ing. He was holding the weapon from the beginning in the opposite way that FPS's do it, on the left side of the screen, not the right. He was wearing a symbol covering his face, slits cut into it for sight and a strap keeping it snugly against his face. Also, there was padding in it.

Mojo walked into Zecora's hut, and was going to complete his quest......

Even if it required me to write my first clop.

Author's Note

IDK what the fuck's going on. If want to put your character in here, PM my ass, or ask how to PM my ass in the comments.

Play Dwarf Fortress.