"You are under arrest!" I raised an eyebrow, and turned around.

"Exfuckingscuse me?" She cringed at the language, then repeated it. "Why?" She listed off at least 40 things, one of which was abusing the Elements. I interrupted her when she said that. Oh yeah, this mare was Celestia. "Abusing the Elements? HA! I saved your brother's sorry ass." I looked at Artemis with a sorry look. "No offense." He replied with 'None taken, creature.'. "So, these are mine unless they aren't. Also, I'll put you into a horrible heat, one that only incest will cool." Celestia blushed, thinking about how...fun it would be. "Oh, you want that?" I said with a massive, shit eating grin. She nodded dumbly, too lost in her fantasy. I looked at Artemis again. "So....do you mind? You'll have to dick your sister." He blushed hard, but told me I could, if that's what Celestia wants. I kept the grin, and pointed my sword at her, thinking of the incest-only coolable heat. "Pew." The same beams from earlier hit her, and she began to shake. Thinking of teleporting them to Celestia's quarter's, I said "Pew." Again and they were gone. A bunch of royal guards teleported us into a cell. And by us, I mean me and Darkhorse. "Well, shit." I heard the clopping of ~~me to mlp porn~~ hooves. I quickly turned to Darkhorse, an expression of alarm on my face. "Quick, sit in the corner! There's a guard coming! I have a plan!" He nodded, and did so. I stood up, and stood at the door. the guard came into view, and I smiled widely. "Hello! Would you like to hear a happy song!?" The guard paused, waited a few seconds, then sat down.

"Okay, sure. Go ahead." I smiled, and a tune began to play.... (Only pay attention to the audio, the video doesn't matter.)

The guard was horrified, and completely stunned by the end of the song. I simply punched him in the face, and took his keys, opening the cell. I stepped out, and placed the guard in a more comfortable position. Darkhorse walked out, confused.

"Thou could've knocked him out from the start." I turned around and smiled at him. "Or, thou could've just broketh out of thy cell." I smiled at him.

"That would've been 2nd degree assholery, breaking shit when there's not only a quieter, but technically better option. Now, we leaveth thy palace!" He huffed at the end of the sentence. I began to walk, sauntering right out of the dungeons. The halls were quite nice, but I'm not swayed by aesthetics. (I'm actually not.) I used my cool harmony powers to create a Punisher shirt, which I wore. I modified my hair to be even more unkempt. I summoned an AR-15, a pair of sunglasses, which I put on. I began to walk dangerously down the hall, my head angled downward and my stance shaggy. Walking up to a door, I kicked it open, revealing a ton of young servants, students, if you will. Another song began playing from an unknown source:

I cocked the weapon. "Run." I began firing into the crown, purposely missing everybody. Jesus, I'm not a fucking murderer, and I'm not ending lives for some shitty meme! I can still suffer from PTSD and depression from guilt. What am I, a Displaced?! Anyways, they scattered, and I walked through the room, the ponies cowering in fear. I turned to them when I was at the door. All of them were whimpering, some covering their eyes, a few hugging. "I was missing on purpose. I'm not even in Florida. I wasn't going to kill you, and I won't. Have a nice day, and I think you'll be getting a few days off." They all sighed, and began to go back to their spots. I kicked open the door in front of me. "Sorry about the property damage." I de-summoned the stuff, also turning my swords into the True Harmony Armor (Yes, I fucking named it.). I walked straight out of the castle doors, using my OP Displaced powers to teleport us to...."Ponyville? Fuck it, this has to happen in a fic sometime." Oh yeah, I can now break the forth wall. I led him to an abandoned house, and I summoned on blankets, enough for both of us to lay on, that floor is fucking steel, I swear. Also, apparently I have a limit 'cause bullshit, and it's a limit so vague it's literally for plot convenience. I lied down, patting the space beside me. "Hashtag No Homo." He looked confused, but lied down, and I wrapped my arms around his barrel, snuggling into him.

"This is degrading...." I flicked his horn, and he...moaned....shit. He quickly fell asleep, and so did I....

Author's Note

SCHOOL SHOOTINGS ARE VERY SERIOUS, BUT HUMANS MAKE JOKES AND MEMES OUT OF THEM ANYWAYS! I DO NOT ENCOURAGE MASS SHOOTINGS!

Play Dwarf Fortress.