Luna was about to puke.

Somehow, SOMEWAY, Delmar managed to get a hold on some highly reactive magical artifacts and eat them.

He was also spitting them out, and destroying entire make believe civilizations with them. Also, he brought some of his own weapons he imagined that he called "nukes" and started riding them around planets and random objects.

She was about to give up at this point. Game over. Retire from life and turn in dignity.

Of course, Delmar interrupted her self loathing by slapping her face then giving her a bony kiss that made her feel extremely uncomfortable. It felt like soft gravel.

Luna wiped her face and disinfected it. Not that she needed to but it made her feel more clean. With Delmar acting the way he is now, she couldn't take chances.

She blinked. Her surroundings changed all of a sudden. It was a tundra with a city in the distance. It had a gloomy atmosphere and smelt if mud. Luna walked toward the city, noticing a sign with a name on it.

"Moscow?" It was a strange name, not familiar to her. She suspected it was from Delmar's realm. Then the words blurred and disappeared. She couldn't process it, so she continued onward.

She entered the city, and found nothing living. There were no ponies... Or anything. Not even birds.

She felt so completely alone, comparable to being on the moon almost. She called out.

"Delmar!? Delmar where are you!? Anypony!?" She only heard her voice in the emptiness.

The ground shook.

She froze, and felt the ground shake again.

Luna frantically looked around and saw something in the distance. It was a blurry line of... creatures?

She squinted, and saw bears running on two legs with Delmar riding in front holding a massive scythe in one hand, a pickle hammer in the other, and strapped to his back was a red flag with a yellow hammer a sickle.

"Um..." is all she could say before something whizzed by her head.

She quickly slunked behind a fallen building and looked behind her. Another line of creatures... Or a line of what looked like hot-dogs carrying even stranger weapons.

She knew something was going down, and she couldn't escape. Hee magic was negated, she can't fly due to not knowing where to go, and she is right in the middle of the lines.

"I'm scared..."

Twilight ended up in some conference room with what looked like humans that was in Delmar's memories. Except these humans were bulky, muscular, and loud. One of them had several cheeseburgers and had a suit with a flag on it with stars and stripes.

She was sitting in a chair, and doesn't remember when she was in one.

"Gentlemen," The leader of the group with a very nice hair cut and an inspiring accent started, "we are in grave danger from the communist. Our freedom, our very way of life is at risk. They plan to attack us with force and aggression. We must stop their advance before this decade is out or we fall into a freedom-less world."

Everybody looked at Twilight. She suddenly became self conscious.

"General, we ask that you strike the Soviet Bears with our Bureaucrat Bombs?"

Twilight blinked, and she was suddenly on the front lines of some major battle. It was loud and she couldn't see with all the dirt and snow blowing around.

When she did manage to look around she could see men in expensive suits shooting bills out of bill and tax cannons. A Bureaucrat "soldier" came up to her and pulled her into a trench.

"THESE GOATS AND POTATO FIENDS ARE VERY HARD TO BEAT! OUR DOUBLE B BOMBS AIN'T DOING SHIT!"

She looked over the trench to see, and saw exactly what the man described.

She was scared...

Luna had no clue how to get out. She couldn't move without being completely annihilated.

Delmar wasn't helping, his scythe was flinging rainbows while the pickle hammer was shooting flaming mushrooms that exploded into condoms.

The lines met and chaos of epic portions started tearing the world asunder.

Luna held her tail, rocking back and forth. When from above her, Twilight landed on her.

"Twilight? What's happening! I can't think with all this chaos!"

Twilight looked at her on confusion.

"WHAT!?"

Delmar approached. Riding a potato bear.

"ONWARD COMRADS! WE MUST FIGHT FOR MOTHER RUSSIA! TO ALL AND ALL TO ME!"

A synchronized cry of war responded across the tundra. A literal fleet of men with no faces wielding black bananas and guns of cocaine stormed the battlefield.

The line of hit dogs and enemy potatoes rushed forward with their own cry.

"FOR MOTHER RUSSIA! FOR UNCLE SAM! FOR MY FUCKING POP TARTS!"

"UUURHAAA!"

Twilight thought that this was a good time to leave. So she tugged Luna and basically shoved her in a bag. Twilight was about to leave, when Delmar flicked her horn away, which exploded in the distance.

"Hey. Twilight, hey. Hey. Guess what?"

Twilight didn't say anything, just stared in disbelief at Delmar.

"I punched Celestia in the snoot just now."

Meanwhile

Celestia was staring at the anomaly, crossing her metaphorical fingers in hope that Twilight found Luna. She was getting anxious and the ten minutes was almost up. But for some reason it feels longer but we'll ignore that.

All at once, a force pummled Celestia's face, now her muzzle was starting to hurt.

"Ow! What... what hit me?" Celestia rubbed her muzzle.

Discord was filing his claws and nonchalantly answered:

"Delmar's magic is still affecting the real world meaning he can still do harm to any one if us as per example of your face being manipulated by cosmic energy."

All present in the room looked at him with questionable looks.

Discord didn't even look up.

"I thought we all knew I'm not stupid, you jerks."

Celestia just sighed heavily and continued to stare at the anomaly.

Only two minutes left...

Delmar was throwing rocks at Luna butt.

The scenery changed back to nothingness, probably due to the fact that Delmar was slowly coming down from his high.

But he still has it.

"Delmar, sweetie, can you please release us from this irksome confinement?" Luna asked as sweetly as possible.

By the way, Twilight has her horn back, but neither Luna nor Twilight can use magic.

Because Delmar's own magic was now trying to un-fuck itself, errecting a magical barrier to prevent outside manipulation.

They couldn't escape.

"No, I want to see it jiggle more. Plus it makes a good target for a target."

Delmar threw a pebble.

"Delmar, you're not making sense."

Another pebble.

"Making sense is a limitation, we should all be confusing now and then."

A piece of metal.

"Gee, you and Discord would get along infamously..." Twilight said sarcastically.

Delmar, for some reason, got angry.

He threw a nuke at Luna's posterior.

Everybody quickly glanced at the anomaly when smoke began bellowing out of it, making it grow.

"Um... is it supposed to do that?" Rainbow asked as she flew around to make sure it wasn't from the ground.

"No... But my chaos sense is tingling." Discord sneered.

Celestia had no choice, she had to do it now.

"Discord... retrieve them please..."

"Would it hurt you to sound a little happy? Jeeze the things I do for you people..." Discord complained as he entered the anomaly.

God was screaming stop, but Fate said 'Fuck man I don't know, might be funny.'

Upon arrival, Discord could immediately sense the amount of magic.

It dwarfed his by a thousand.

But it was so random, the barrier holding the two princesses was all he could bring manipulate.

Meaning Delmar would have to contend with himself.

Sighing, he drifted to the magical signatures that resembled Twilight and Luna.

He took a moment to browse the knowledge Delmar left lying around. Most of it was boring, but a little was intriguing.

Apparently, Delmar had never owned a pet before. But oddly, he made a few pets for his advisors.

Generosity? No, they were literal time bombs he used as pranks. It was a foul prank even for Discord.

Another interesting fact, Delmar was one of 13 different 'High Council' members. He was also one of the most powerful beings in existence. Not surprising given his title, but very hilarious in the circumstance Delmar was in.

When he finally stopped snooping, Discord found the group in a good sized void in the magical field. They were just sitting.

When he approached, Discord finally got a good look at Delmar.

"Well, a pleasure to meet you Lord of Death, my name is Discord. I am the Spirit of Choas." Discord smiled and extended a claw.

Delmar, glanced at Discord. And sniffed.

Delmar frowned.

He threw several nukes.

"Well, evidently darling he must be punished. He has caused several problems today." Rarity insisted.

"What would be fitting? To the literal God of Death, good Rarity?"

Celestia and Rarity were discussing a punishment fitting for Delmar.

But coming up short simply because he's a god.

"Hey...um...guys..." Fluttershy was watching the anomaly grow an intense red.

"Well, simply put an anti-magic barrier around him constantly, like a ball." Rarity suggested.

"That's ludicrous, that would require a strong enough mage to keep that barrier up. Its also a very time consuming procedure." Celestia retorted.

The anomaly was growing in size now, and heat began to expel from its edges.

"Guys..." Fluttershy repeated louder.

Rainbow, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie went out for food.

"What do you suggest then? He can't be put in stone! He would simply faze out if it!"

"The Elements? They could do-..."

"Guys!" Flutyershy yelled loudly, getting both of their attentions.

It was to late, however. The anomaly was now double the size of Celestia, and the heat was rushing forth.

Fluttershy quickly got out of the way, while Rarity and Celestia put up a magical barrier.

A second more, and they would be scorched.

A great wind and flame busted from the anomaly, and a defining noise rocked the castle.

Discord, Twilight, and Luna were smushed against the barrier, with Discord protecting them both with his own barrier.

All within seven seconds.

Celestia dropped her barrier, causing Twilight and Luna to fall flat on the ground.

Discord grogily hovered in air.

"Discord... what happened?" Celestia asked softly.

Discord rubbed his back.

"Well... turns out Delmar knows some pretty advanced magic. He also knows great technology. Now, combine those two in a ball, now that ball is what just happened." He laid down.

The anomaly disappeared, and not long after, Delmar stirred.

Delmar sat up, and looked at all the burn marks and tapestries currently on fire.

"...Holy shit I'm in California."

Author's Note

Hey.