Just wait until Twilight found out what he'd got in his hot little claws! She'd be baffled to bits! Spike could already picture the look on her face.

"Spike?" she'd say, eyes wide, wings flaring in confusion. "Is that a hope diamond?" She'd pace slowly towards and around him, unable to believe he'd got one.

"Yep," he'd innocently reply. "I bought it for Rarity! Do you think she'll like it?"

"Like it?" Twilight would teleport right beside him, looking down at him with suspicious eyebrows. "This is the rarest stone in Equestria! Where in Celestia's name could you have got all the money!"

He'd only grin. "Pinkie's been helping me with investing. Crazy what that mare can do."

"Spike, this isn't a joke!" Her eyebrows would narrow even more. "I want you to tell me right now where you got that money and how, it could be very dangerous!"

"Uh," he'd say, backing a step or two away. "You sure?"

Twilight would simply nod, a look of concern and determination on her face. "Yes. I am beyond sure."

Spike extracted himself from his daydream.

Maybe he wouldn't tell Twilight about it after all. Anything to keep her from knowing about where the money came from and asking why she didn't know about it. Spike knew he was brave and glorious and all, but that quickly faded when faced with...brrr...angry Twilight.

He'd just have to give the diamond secretly to Rarity...who'd then tell all her friends about who'd been nice enough to...get...a diamond for her...

And then it finally hit Spike.

It was an inescapable situation.

It was one of those stupid logic problems with the train, the two tracks, and the switch. Either way, somepony'd get run over.

No matter what he did, he'd have to come clean with Twilight. If he didn't tell her himself, her friends would. And he couldn't let that happen.

No, he'd...have to tell her.

Sullenly, Spike noticed he was already at the castle doors. "Well," he mumbled to himself, "No use waiting. Let's get this over with."

Opening the door, he yelled, "Twilight? Hey, Twilight! I need to talk to you about something!"

No response. He shrugged, "Probably still too busy trying to figure out that weird bottle Ember sent her."

He hesitated. Surely telling Twilight could wait...couldn't it?

Waging a mental battle with himself, he finally decided to put the diamond safely in his room and then find Twilight and tell her. Walking down the hallways, he put a claw on the wall to steady himself from the shaking of the floor.

He went over his plan for telling Twilight. He'd tell her about what he'd bought for Rarity, of course, and that would lead to the subject of money, and that would lead to the subject of how he'd been running an investments account with Pinkie and that would lead to how he'd been hiding all of this from Twilight. Not his favorite turn in the conversation, but he couldn't let himself procrastinate with it. He'd already done enough to hurt Twilight's trust, he at least could do the favor of telling her himself.

His mind made up, he turned around to walk out the door, wobbled a bit, and stopped short.

When did the castle start shaking?

"Hah, that was easy!" said Anthony as he carried the first pudding back to the Big Red Time Machine. "Since we, the present us, know where the past us has been, the present us could just tell where the past us were at any given time and adjust our movements accordingly!"

Murray frowned absently at him, carrying the other pudding. "I bet you could have made that twice as confusing given time."

Anthony shrugged.

"Got them?" Sam called, only to smile when he saw the two massive icing-laden christmas puddings being carried in. "Excellent! ...Where's Greg and Jeff?"

Anthony winked. "They're surreptitiously checking on the Captain to make sure things are alright."

"Ah. Good thinking."

They set the puddings down and sat down themselves. Murray started humming some tune, heaven knows what it was. Anthony started eyeing the puddings.

Suddenly, Greg and Jeff burst into the Big Red Time Machine. Everyone immediately knew something was up, as Jeff had never looked so awake. "Hey," Jeff panted. "You won't believe this, but the Captain died again!

Silence fell, broken only by Sam's despairing, "Really?"

Greg shook his head. "I'm afraid so. Virtually the same scene played out now as did the first time. The Captain seemed to still have eaten too much, although the past me said the Captain had only eaten three this time."

Jeff nodded. "So we know the puddings weren't replaced, but the Captain still ate too much!"

Sam started pacing, muttering to himself. Anthony took this as a message that they'd be waiting again, rolled his eyes, and made for the pudding, reaching out for a spoon.

Sam's eyes went wide and he subsequently went ballistic.

"DON'T TOUCH IT!" he yelled, knocking Anthony to the floor and throwing the spoon as far away as he could. Before any of the shocked Wiggles could get any explanation, he started taking small pieces of the pudding and placing them into various compartments in the dashboard. All the lights that started flashing were red...except for one.

"Oh no," Sam whimpered. "Oh no, oh no..."

"What?" all four other occupants asked simultaneously.

"The Pudding's been poisoned."

A shocked silence sort of slammed onto them like a fifty-pound weight.

"What...?" Murray asked. "With what?"

Sam looked mortified. "That's just it. The most inhumane poison known to man. Methylfruitcake."

Two of the Wiggles raised their eyebrows. The other two narrowed their eyes in confusion.

"What now?" asked Anthony.

Sam stared seriously at Anthony. "You know why nobody actually eats fruitcake, right?"

"Um, yeah..it's terrible."

"It's terrible 'cause it's a survival instinct," Sam said. "Your body is warning you of the presence of the extremely addictive poisonous methylfruitcake that manifests inside every slice of fruitcake. In small amounts, like small bites of fruitcake, it's relatively harmless albeit deeply untasteful, but in concentrated amounts such as in this Pudding?" He paused and stared blankly at the screen, his head in his hands. "Unquestionably fatal."

The boys thought for a while, before Jeff volunteered, "That would explain why he'd keep eating so much regardless of how he felt. If it was really addictive, he'd have no choice before long."

"What a sad end," muttered Murray.

"Also, sorry to change the subject," said Greg, "But why do you say 'pudding' like the P is capitalized?"

"What?" Sam blinked. "Do I? Hmmm. Pudding. No wait, that's the start of a sentence. The methylfruitcake is in the Pudding. You're right. Huh. Well thanks for lampshading that, I guess."

"Now that that's cleared up," said Greg, "The only explanation I or I bet any of you can think of to why methylfruitcake is in the Puddin--sorry, pudding, is that someone...must have wanted the Captain...dead."

Silence fell and no one contradicted him.

"But then," said Murray, "Who killed Captain Feathersword?"

"Calm down now, sugarcube. You sure Twilight ain't in the castle?"

Spike stubbornly refused to calm down. "I've looked everywhere twice! The castle's been shaking for at least since I got back about an hour ago, and the new rumbling noise is just making things worse!" He grabbed Applejack's shoulders and shook her violently. "What if she's in real trouble!"

Applejack removed herself from Spike's grasp and patted him on the head. "Let's be reasonable now, Spike. She might be in a bucketload a' trouble, but we don't know for sure, and worryin' ain't gonna change anything."

Rarity trotted over, a disappointed frown on her face. "We've searched the whole castle from spire to base, and all we found were twenty-five different broom closets!"

Spike looked at her with an unreadable expression. "There are only twenty-four, Rarity."

"What?" Rarity looked confused. "What about that one room that was messier than..." Her eyes went wide. "Ah, aha. Um. N-Nevermind," she said, stepping back and clearing her throat.

Spike rolled his eyes. "I know, I haven't cleaned in a while. But this isn't the best time to be talking about my cleaning habits!" He turned to Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, who were just behind Rarity. "Did you find anything?"

Fluttershy shook her head, and Rainbow Dash's "Nuh-uh," did nothing to alleviate the dragon, who frantically started pacing. "But we have to find her! I don't know what's goi--"

An enormous cracking noise and a large tremor that knocked Spike, Fluttershy, and Rarity off their respective feet and hooves interrupted them. Dust fell from the ceiling, causing Rarity to cough.

Although--the castle didn't shake any more.

Pinkie Pie poked her head around the doorframe. "Wow! Didja feel that? That was like one of DJ Pon-3's songs where it's all 'danna danna danna danna eeooooooooooBWAAAP!' Can we do that again? Please?"

"Pinkie, now's not the time!" yelled Applejack, who started running down the hallway. "Something mighty strange is up."

Pinkie put a hoof to her chin as she bounced along next to Applejack. "Like that weird huge glowy thing that popped up in the middle of the entrance hall? Happened just when the bass drop did, too."

Applejack stopped short, making Rarity and Fluttershy run into her. "What now, Pinkie?"

"You mean to tell me, darling," said Rarity, rubbing her nose where it had collided with Applejack, "That the enormous cracking noise and simultaneous tremor were also accompanied by the appearance of a large foreign object in the center of Twilight's foyer?"

Pinkie blinked for a second, her expression gradually becoming more and more serious. "Oh, when you put it like that..."

"Come on you guys!" said Rainbow impatiently. "Let's go see what it is! It might be some ancient curse or something!"

They continued running. Rainbow was the first to get there, and her startled gasp made the other five redouble their efforts.

Spike, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow now stood around a massive metallic square set shallowly into the ground. Small wires reached into the floor around it, seemingly anchoring it in place, like a terrifyingly artificial plant. When Spike stepped on it, he could feel it vibrating softly, a sensation that seemed to hit him right under the jaw.

"What is it?" asked Rainbow in wonder. "It's amazing!"

Fluttershy stared at it in horror. "That...just doesn't look...right..."

Pinkie started looking at it from all angles. "Whoa, it's covered in little square scribblies!"

Rarity and Applejack, however, shot Spike glances. He wasn't taking it too well.

"Oh no...Oh no, oh no, oh no!" he said in an increasingly frantic tone. Pulling out a scroll, he hastily scratched a message and sent it with a plume of fire, only to resume his pacing.

"Spikey dear, sorry to...interrupt, but, are you alright?" Rarity came up by him and put a hoof on his shoulder.

"Ask me that in a few minutes," he gasped, desperately trying to avoid hyperventilating.

Applejack walked over as well. "And besides, what's got you so worked up, young'n?"

"Because..." he started. "Twilight's in there, I know it!"

"In there, darling?" asked Rarity, whose only answer was an extended claw pointing to the center of the metal square.

There, exactly in the center, was what most of them tried not to look at. Glowing runes pulsed in a slow, almost eerily blood-like fashion, outlining what could only be a trapdoor.

They all fell silent.

"Excuse me?" came a light, cheerful voice, although tinged with gravity. "I hope that this is truly an emergency, Spike, and not like the time Twilight tried that little book Ponzi scheme of her..."

Celestia trailed off as she noticed the object sunk into the floor, with bits of displaced floor and holiday decorations scattered around it. Finally, she turned her eyes to the six occupants of the foyer.

"I see." Celestia's tone had gone full serious. "And you don't know what it is?"

"No, your highness," said Spike. "None of us have a clue!"

Celestia gracefully closed her eyes and took a breath in through her nose. "Ah. I was hoping you might enlighten me."

The others stared. "No offense, Princess," said Rainbow Dash, "but how do you not know what it is? You know everything!"

The Princess smiled. "It may seem that way at times, but no. I know merely most everything, young Rainbow."

She then returned to her determined look, closing her eyes again. "What I do know is that it absolutely reeks of magic...Luna! I need your help!"

A flash and a "Yes, sister?" later, Luna appeared next to her. "What seems to be the..." She noticed the square. "...ah. I both understand and are more confused than ever, Celestia."

"You and me both." Celestia turned to the others. "Where is Twilight?"

Spike pointed to the glowing runes. "I think she's...inside, Princess."

Celestia blinked. Luna followed suit.

"Well then," Luna spoke up. "We must follow her down and find the source of this...whatsoever it might be."

"Will you assist us?" Celestia asked.

The others very quickly nodded assent, except for Fluttershy, whose inaction was quickly reversed when Applejack glared at her.

The Princesses nodded. "Very well," Celestia said. "We'll all go down in search of Twilight."

They stepped onto the creepily glowing rune door, and with a moment of concentration from Celestia and a mechanical 'click,' the smaller platform began to move inexorably downward.

"One should only hope no fiend of the deep awaits us below," Luna muttered, inadvertently terrifying the smaller ponies and dragon around her.

As the metal walls studded with softly glowing red lights moved upwards around them, Pinkie jumped in excitement. "Oooh! Oooh! I love this! Do I get a fancy glowy sword too?"

Author's Note

gasp

Actually what the heck is even going on anymore, cause I can't tell