I crinkled my short snout up just a little. This was completely messed up, and given my life here so far that was saying something.

Looking between Princess DD (my new favorite nickname for her) and Prince Charming (this one was a work in progress), I took and let out a breath. "So let me get this straight." Another breath. "You're both planning a private affair despite not exactly liking one another?"

Celestia's (okay okay, I'll use their normal names) eyes slid sideways in Blue Blood's direction. She nodded.

Blue Blood didn't even glance at Celestia. "It's quite simple. With the nobles—"

I held a hand up in protest as if to fend off the terror of royal relations. "No-no! Leave the politics out. I'm trying to get my head around this and that only complicates it. So this affair will be private with the intent of getting you pregnant?"

Both of them nodded.

"At which time you announce the 'dalliance'," okay, I liked that word despite it being something fancy (it just sounded cool to say), "to everyone—" I cut off as Blue Blood opened his perfectly proportioned mouth.

"If you keep going it'll get political again." Shit, he was right!

"Right. It slips out, everyone sees that both sides are actually into each other, and everyone lives happily ever after. What about the kid? I hate to say it, but loveless stuff like this is the worst for kids." Alright. I'm a woman-chasing, breast-fetishizing maniac, but I have morals, okay?

"Aunt Celestia raises the child. I'll pop in from time to time—of course—but she'll take care of them and raise them. Honestly, I don't even like children," Blue Blood said.

I looked at Celestia again and figured that if nothing else, she'd have the breastfeeding bit sorted. "Okay. I can live with that. So this shouldn't be a hard problem, and if you've been trying I'm surprised you aren't pregnant already."

"Well it's certainly not my fault," Blue Blood said.

Celestia turned, giving me an amazing profile. "Are you suggesting this is my fault?"

I'd normally expect it to get chilly at hearing those words, but given Celestia's proclivities and duties it was unsurprising that the room's temperature jumped a few degrees. If I wanted to get out of here without being roasted, I'd need to talk.

"Well, whatever it is, it doesn't matter now," I said.

I stood up and turned to the side—it was time to show them. I unbuttoned my pants and reached to the hemline facing the royal pair. Careful not to give them both more of a show than I intended, I pulled down my jeans on that side to reveal my cutie mark. "I got this."

Both of them wore shocked and hopeful expressions. Damn it feels good to have a useful talent sometimes.

I left the little meeting in the second best place—beside Princess Celestia (the best place would have been directly in front of her with my hands on those amazing tits). We walked through a side entrance and walked the short distance to the main palace before I felt a popping around me.

"Sorry about that, but to maintain the secrecy aspect, certain magical allowances must be made. Come on inside and let's find you a—" Celestia looked at me from my feet to my head then back down again, "room."

Her look spoke of hunger, and I realized that I had a shot with Princess DD (with penis stirring up trouble, nicknames were back). Following her down the long hallways of the palace, I noticed Guards. If Prince Blue Balls was a solid ten for girls (as stated earlier, no homo), then these guys were twelves. Each of the Royal Guards had the same look of chiseled perfection, and each of them wore the bare minimum of armor.

DD's head turned slightly as we passed each one, and each time it did I felt myself wilt a little more. What could I possibly offer that these studs couldn't? Penis had no answer. Vagina was sulking. Brain was too busy talking. Wait, what?! "This place looks amazing."

"Thank you. I had it redecorated when my dear sister, Princess Luna, was restored. I predicted her dislike of bright and reflective surfaces quite correctly. Left here, Paul."

"Yes, Princess." I did as I was told, because when a girl that hot tells you to go into your room, you do it. Also, she was a princess.

The room looked like a palace itself. I wasn't a rich guy, and never had dreams of living in mansions or crap like that, but I was sure this was amazing without being too in your face about it—the gold trim on everything was a dead giveaway. Huge, vaulted windows revealed a lounge room (there was probably another name for it, something fancy, but it had a couch so was a lounge room to me) with couches dotted around and a carved round table with chairs circling it. There was two doors leading off from the room.

I walked in a daze. I couldn't believe how fancy everything looked. I ran my hands carefully over the backs of the couches and chairs as I walked around. "Wow…"

"This is a princess' room. You are a guest here, Paul, but I'd like it if you were nearby if certain needs were placed upon you. My own rooms are beside yours, and Princess Luna's on the other side of mine. You arrived at my nephew's house as a pony, didn't you?"

DD's question made me spin around while a blush was rising up to my fuzzy cheeks. "Y-Yes, Your Majesty."

"Highness, Paul. Majesty is for queens and kings." As DD spoke, she came toward me. It was like the jokes about Objects in mirror are closer than they seem or something. Not that I was laughing with DD's DDs in my face.

I gulped as DD stopped inches from me. She was tall—taller than me—so that if I stepped forward my chin would be in her cleavage. Penis and vagina were waking up. "Y-Yes, Your Highness?"

"Much better, Paul." DD stepped to the side and almost gave me whiplash with how fast my head turned to track her chest. Her steps took her directly behind me. "By the fact you had relations and still turned back, I take it you're not in season?"

The softest of touches. Like a pair of perfectly padded pillows pressing pleasantly into my—fuck, I'd screwed up the alliteration. Her boobs felt amazing touching my shoulders and neck. Penis was excited and vagina was screaming from the ropes to be tapped in. When DD's hand traced from my hip to my crotch, penis showed her how much he liked her.

"You haven't stopped looking at my breasts since we met, Paul. Do you know how much training my guards go through to manage to avoid such staring?" DD asked.

"A-A-A lot?"

Her hand squeezed around my dick while her chest pressed firmer against my neck. "Wrong, Paul. Equestrian men seem to ignore them. Lesbians enjoy the touch of breasts, but if I asked a man what was the best part of sex, he'd tell me how much he likes my cock going into him."

It made sense, and it explained a lot about why women seemed so into me.

"Paul, you're rock hard and ready just from my breasts against your neck, and I saw you sporting a good half of this just from walking at my side." She breathed on my neck, my ear, and my cheek. Her breasts made their presence known as she moved too, and soon I was tilting my head down to look into their milky-white cleavage. "Paul, if you turned into a filly right now, I'd fuck you so hard you'd scream."

A shiver ran through me. I felt a hand press to the back of my head and urge me closer, nearer, and finally against those amazing boobs. Soft fur and softer flesh met my face and I felt that shiver again. I knew what it meant. My legs changed first and I lost height.

The change worked up from my legs. Vagina made her presence known while penis jumped out of the ring. My tail pushed at my pants while DD's hand unfastened them for me. I looked up at this goddess of a woman as I turned into a little mare.

"That's a first, Paul. I have never met a man so ready to follow my every desire just at the touch of my breasts." DD used her magic and lifted me into the air. Despite my state one sight held my attention. "You still want them?"

I could only nod.

"You've been a good filly, Paul." DD drew me closer and let me shove my pony snout all the way between her breasts. She let out happy giggles as I nuzzled about between them. "Paul, I'm going to have to carry out my promise, you realize?"

I didn't care. I would have agreed to anything just to remain in this white, soft paradise I'd found. I felt movement. DD was carrying me somewhere, though with my eyes closed and my face planted into her rack I didn't know or care where.

My clothes were removed carefully, though how she got my shirt off without it going over my head I'll never know.

"Lay down, Paul. You like breasts?"

The softest bed in the world greeted my butt and was quick to make its acquaintance with the rest of me. Obediently, I rolled to my back and looked up at DD and nodded while she was unfastening her dress.

The dress and all its petticoats and corset fell down Celestia's alabaster body as if by magic. Of course it was magic—no one could get out of that many clothes that easily. But in undressing she fulfilled the dream I hadn't known I'd ever had.

The carpet matched the drapes. The most elusive part of the female body—just between where her thighs met her hips—was on full display. There was a little line of pastel rainbow just above her slit. My eyes wandered up and became stuck at the two perfect breasts that hung from DD's chest. "What are you—"

"Shh. This is an easy game to play, Paul. I made you change with just my breasts. Now let me see if you can do the same." She sat down on the bed, turned to the side and lay down. With her head to the side, she was looking at me with amusement and interest.

Now, I won't say I'm a smart man, but right about then I realized how exactly she'd played this game. DD couldn't afford to get pregnant herself, so she only let me do my thing after turning me into a mare. The level of planning, if it was true, was shocking to me. There was something humbling about knowing she'd taken care of so much of this little party.

Crawling along the bed, I had my eyes (and mind) back on the prize(s). Snouting at her hip, I pushed my neck and chest up onto her belly. "You're amazing, DD." Vagina sent an alarm signal to brain, but brain was a little bit confused about what to do with it since there were breasts nearby.

"Did you call me DD?"

Okay, panic stations! I had to stop thinking of girls by their boob sizes, but it just felt so right. "Y-Yeah."

"DD. I like it," DD said, her voice a purr of anticipation.

The women of Equestria, I realized, were more excited about my appreciation of their assets than any offense I might give. There was a saying about gift horses and mouths, but I wasn't going to stoop low enough to even think it.

I shoved forward with my back legs so that my snout pressed up and between DD's breasts from below them. I reached my forelegs to each side of the mounds and squeezed them around my face.

DD rocked her head back and moaned. The sound was music to my ears—it told me that the girl I was with was enjoying things as much as I was. I was enjoying this a lot.

Nuzzling between two large, sensitive breasts would only work so long. I nuzzled up the left peak and licked slowly at the nipple atop it while my hoof massaged its twin.

"Why do you—How do—That feels amazing. Don't stop."

With my mouth otherwise occupied I didn't feel a need to reply. Oh the poor women of Equestria and their poor, neglected breasts. Don't worry, babies, Paul's here for you. Vagina reminded me that she was here too.

Just to test, I brought my flat teeth down on her soft flesh—avoiding her areola. A gentle squeeze at first, but I heard a rumbling cry of joy bubble up from her chest. I held still and kept my massage up on her other breast for a few seconds, then gently released and licked the soft fur in apology.

DD's chest was heaving now—she was close.

"Too hard? Not hard enough?" I asked.

"P-P-Perfect!"

I turned on the other breast, opened my mouth, and sucked as much flesh as I could inside. She would expect another bite, but instead I gripped her gently and hummed. When DD started trembling under me, I thought I had her.

"More!"

More?! Holy shit she had stamina! Okay, she liked the bite, so… As I kept a mouthful of the right breast, I used my left forehoof to squeeze at the spot I'd bitten. A reminder and a promise, I earned myself another squeal, but she wasn't over the point needed to make her a stallion—to make her what vagina (and I) wanted.

It was cheating. She'd made the game be just about her breasts, but doing my best wasn't quite enough to push her over into stallionhood. Lifting my back-left leg over, I set my hoof just lower than her vulva and set my pastern against her cleft.

"What are you—?"

I stroked her vulva with my leg. DD's question was lost to a neighing moan as she became he. I lost two wonderful friends, but gained a new one. His shaft pushed up and forward from his belly. I felt every inch of hard stallion grow against my leg. With nothing left to gag me, I smiled and looked up from the firm barrel I was laying on. "Didn't anyone tell you? I cheat a lot."

DD let out a huge laugh that sounded more relieved (and deep) than I'd expected. He used his magic to lift me up and set me back—belly down—on the bed. I watched the big stallion roll off the bed and look at me. "Even if you don't manage to help with my other problem, Paul, this has been fun."

I looked back at him and a shiver ran through me—Celestia was huge. Vagina was caught between panic he wouldn't fit and excitement that he would. My brain left the worrying to vagina and Celestia—ahem, DD—and came up with the wittiest thing it could to say under the circumstances. "Are you going to keep complimenting me or are you going to fuck me?"

He had an answer for that. Planting his forehooves on each side of me, Celestia shoved forward with blind abandon—and missed.

My life had rushed before my eyes. His flared end had connected with my butt cheek and slid toward my rear, but at the last second it had skidded up and onto my back. When his balls pressed to my dock, I felt my need rise again. "Maybe in me this time?"

"You're a talkative little thing, Paul." Celestia leaned down low and took a step back before coming at me again. He didn't miss this time. There was an instant—not even a heartbeat long—when his shaft's tip kissed against my vulva. The moment was gone and ~~Princess~~Prince Celestia was in me.

I whinnied in surprise, though Celestia wasted no time. He shoved forward again and pushed the air from my lungs in a long groan of pleasure. His shaft was huge—massive—but it felt perfect.

Celestia held still, though I could feel his balls pressed against my back legs twitch every now and again. There was nothing—nothing like the feel of this much stallion inside me. Every nerve ending seemed to have migrated to vagina's control. She held the reins in this ride.

When he pulled back, I squeezed my eyes closed and tried not to whine out at the emptiness I felt inside. Celestia slammed back into me again and it was already too much. My body squeezed down. Every muscle in me tensed and released—again and again. I was a puppet to the pleasure that controlled me. Each drive of Celestia's cock into my clutching body pushed the orgasm higher.

He had more control than any other stallion I'd been with. I lost count of the strokes he took within me, but it wasn't like I cared. I was set adrift on a sea of wonder. While he pounded me, I knew I was staring ahead with a silly expression on my face.

Celestia's strokes grew erratic. My orgasm was long gone, but I wasn't going to tell the ruler of Equestria he couldn't finish. I squeezed down on each of his thrusts and was soon rewarded by a deep whinny above me and an explosion of heat inside.

I started to close my eyes when I caught movement in the room. My head turned to track a purple streak of feathers and hooves rush from closet to door and out.

A peeping tom (or was it peeping tammy for females?) was one thing, but a royal one was something new. I titled my head back to see the underside of Celestia's jaw. He looked magnificent. With spurts of more heat blossoming inside, I felt about as well welcomed to Canterlot as a mare could get.

I expected Celestia to slump upon me. I anticipated and even looked forward to some cozy time with his weight still upon me and his dong still inside me. So wrapped up in the fantasy was I that when he pulled free of me I was in shock.

"It would be lovely to stay and chat, but I have a country to run. It was fun, Paul, but you need to work on your stamina." Celestia turned away and walked from the room.

"What the actual fuck?" I asked no one. "Did he, was I…"

I slumped back down on the bed. Okay, Paul, put the facts together into a list. You just fucked a princess with great tits.

The best tits.

Damn it, I got distracted, what was I doing again? Right! List! Sex with hot princess with great—skipping that bit so I can continue. I wasn't in heat, which meant nothing bad came of it. The sex was amazing, but I apparently was less than so. Fuck they were great tits.

Oh right, and Princess (Prince? I needed to ask someone about how to address royalty while they were in the act of jacking off to you/fucking you) Twilight Sparkle had been spying on us while we were having sex.

Canterlot was just like Ponyville.

Author's Note

Cadance: Do you know there is a pony in your sister-in-law's town that might rival you in romantic talent?

"Oh my!" Cadance's wings fluttered in excitement. "What's her name?"

So I do this "Ask X" thing. X can be any pony within the story. You can ask them anything and they will definitely, hopefully reply. Keep the questions appropriate to the age-rating of the stories, and they will answer the best question in the author notes of the next chapter. The more votes a comment has the more likely I will get it to the right pony to answer. Try to keep it to one question per post! They will pick one question per chapter.

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