Day -30.

"That's going to be sore tomorrow."

Anon stood up from the marble floor, dusting off his coat. Wait, marble? "When did I leave my desk last night? this isn't my caravan." He looked around at what seemed to be a bathroom, if it was made for midgets. Did he grow another foot? Is this a dream? Did he get wasted with Verne Troyer and passed out in his bathroom? Before he could contemplate which of the options was true, which he secretly wished was option 3, he came to his senses as a thud was heard behind him. There 2 unicorns stood, well, only 1 stood and the other passed out. After a brief silent period, a scream echoed the castle and it's bathroom.

"Well this is gonna be a long day." Anon said to himself, before an orange blur knocked him unconscious.

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"So, Anon, your saying you woke up in my bathroom, had no idea why, live in a parallel universe, and have a 'hyoo-man' herd called a "Harem" with 72 virgin 'hyoo-mans' waiting for you at home, which happens to be a seven story Castle?" The white alicorn repeated back to Anon.

"Yep." Anon replied. The princess sighed. She'd never seen a creature like this before, and one with a complete natural immunity to unicorn and alicorn magic all the while, which was a pain since lie detecting spells fizzle out at his words.

Still, one more question remained on her mind. "Anon, What's that metal carriage in my yard? It spooked the animals, and Fluttershy has been calming them down since."

Anon pondered the princess’ question until his memories caught up to him. ”Metal Carriage? oh shit, my caravan, sorry, that might be my stuff." Eyes turn, pinpricks.

"A-Anon!" The purple unicorn, Twilight Sparkle, speaks up. "You don't swear at the princess! H-how? She should be treated with respect! I don't even-"

"Twilight." Celestia interrupts. "I'm sure of how Anon is apparently from a different dimension, maybe it means something different than excrement."

Anon leaned back, tilting the chair slightly and smiled. "Nah princess, it means the same thing. Shit, Poop, evacuating the bowels, takin' the Cosby's out to the public pool, you know." Anon leans back up into his chair as the room are shooting dark glares. "Woah, this staring, I know I'm hot, but I can't fuck the lot of you at once." Even some of the guards are pulling the death stare. "Sheesh, kids can't take a joke."

"Kids!?" Rainbow dash pipes up. "We ain't goats, you moronic chimp!"

Anon was quick to rebuttal. "Chimp? Shut up filthy heretic, you fucking poster pony for abortion!"

gasps fill the room, Rainbow dash looks visibly hurt. One of the guards at the door is failing at hiding his laughter, bursting out, but stopping after being shot death glares by Celestia. "Gray, throne room in an hour. Meanwhile, Anon..." Celestia frowns. "That's some nerve you got, slurring in-front a princess. And that comment, 'Poster child for abortion?' was... creative. But, you come in here, get into my bathroom, freak out my student and her friends, and most of all, you waste my time. I'd admit it, you clearly don't belong here at all. I'll call up a pegasai squadron, air-lift your stuff, and get you down to Ponyville, you are an absolute waste of time. Just take a royal chariot, I want you out of sight."

'Well Shit.' Anon thought to himself, as 2 guards pushed him out of the door. 'This isn't how this was supposed to go.' The door slammed shut as the crowd erupted back into speech.

"ah don't believe, that hyoo-man has some nerves!"

"That guy is so uncool!"

"I agree Rainbow, that trench-coat he was uncouth!"

"Ponies!" Celestia brings order back to the table. "he might be a bit... odd. But, if that one wasn't lying, the hyoo-man race is strong, and even if lying, he has extreme magical resistance. I hope you girls can keep an eye on him. I'm, uh, testing you with him, Twilight, yeah." Twilight beamed, It had been a while since Celestia 'tested' her.

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Anon sighed, He knew this was going to be a long day, not a good first impression on his part. A voice perks from beside him.

"Uh, hey, Anon, was it? You got some balls, having that tone with the princess, Takes some guts." Hey, it's Grey, the guard at the meeting. "We've got your things hooked up. We'll lift them down into Ponyville. I, uh, got business to attend to in the throne room. The Royal Carriage is waiting." He pointed to a golden carriage off to the side, with 2 pegasi strapped in.

Anon sighed. "Today's the first day of the end of my life..." Climbing into the carriage, Anon laid back as the two pegasi flew into the clouds. Anon stared at Ponyville in the distance, his new home, a nice slice of urine stained heaven with a little sodomy on the side. "New beginnings." Anon said, smiling at the shanty town.

Author's Note

This is just an intro, expect longer chapter's later!