Anon vs RGRE

~ III ~

Anon VS Sexy Job Interviews

What the fuck...

My mind was in a haze and I hadn't even had any champagne. I racked my brain for anything. Clenching my eyes shut, I tried to see into the past, but blurs and white lights were all that I saw—everything against the backdrop of techno music blasting around the club.

Something soft caressed my hoof.

“Anon, open your eyes.” It was Twilight. She sounded so far away, yet she felt so close to me. “Can you do that for me, please?”

What other choice did I have? I opened my eyes, blinking once or twice for them to adjust to the flashing lights. In a second, they focused on her lavender muzzle, which hovered inches away from my own.

“Follow my hoof real quick, okay?” Using her other hoof, she lifted it up and down, left then right. There was some lag in following her direction; something was slowing me down internally. “Okay. Next, lay your head on the table.”

I wanted to fight her, but she already thought I was a fraud and a freak, and giving her shit wouldn't play in my favor. Gently, I laid my forehead against the table, feeling her hoof press down on my mane.

What the fuck was she trying to do?

“I'm not feeling anything along your neck.” Twilight's hoof traveled up the back of my head, gliding through and into my mane. Sometimes, she'd pause over a spot that would elicit a sigh of curiosity from her lips. One place where her hoof pressed down on almost made me scream. “Whoa! Did that hurt?”

“Twilight?” My voice came out muffled.

“Y-Yes?”

“Did you impale your horn into the back of my fucking head?”

I could hear her mane sway as she shook her head. “I didn't... but something else might have.” Her hooves pulled away, and for a moment, I missed the way how they felt against my mane. It was a sensation I'd never been aware of before—soft hooves stroking through my long, silk strands.

“You can lift your head now.”

“I'm not sure about that one.”

“Why not?”

“If I lift my head,” I said, “I'm worried my brain will pour out.”

“Stop being such a stallion.”

I heard the clopping of hooves from the left stop, followed by a distressed neigh, before the hoofsteps resumed. They clip-clopped off quickly into the distance, the sound overtaken by the base drop of the blaring speakers.

Even with my eyes closed, I could still see the tired, sad expression on Twilight's muzzle.

So I decided to stop being such an asshole and cut her some slack. Bringing my hooves to the back of my head, I held them there while I lifted my muzzle, half expecting brain matter to splash against my fur. To my surprise, but not my delight, my brain kept inside my skull, continuing to cry like a little bitch.

“Am I safe to take my hooves away?”

“I'll slap them if you don't.”

Reason. Fucking. Enough.

I pulled my hooves back and laid on the table. I tried making eye contact with Twilight, but every time I did, I only ended up looking at my hooves. Again and again, our dynamic had fucking changed. She'd gone from wanting to fuck me, to wanting to help me, back to wanting to fuck, though with a dash of wanting to help me—and then now, wanting to kill me for being a fraud.

What the fuck was I supposed to say to all that?

“You know I'm not lying to you, right?” It was the only thing to come out of my mouth, and fuck it, I followed it. “I really don't know how I got here. But this place? This world? I've never seen this shit before. There was something before this.”

I shook my head, regretting the stabbing in my noggin that came with it, though I persisted enough to look up at her again. “It sounds crazy especially when I can't remember what I was. But something was there, or else, I... wouldn't be recalling everything feeling a tad familiar.”

Twilight wasn't even looking at me when I looked up. She had her muzzle tilted down, her mind lost to whatever was before her eyes, and she seemed to be thinking about something rather intensely. Suddenly, her violet eyes took on a subtle glow, and she stared up at me once more.

“Your memories... you're unable to recall them, but you feel like they're there, right?”

I nodded.

“But you also have all these small details and feelings that feel familiar fading back in, right?”

“Congratulations, Twilight,” I said. “You managed to sum up everything that I've just said. How you do it is beyond—“

“Will you cut that out for a second!” Twilight shook her head. “For whatever reason, something has impacted your ability to recall details and memories before Fluttershy found you.” She crossed her forelegs over her chest, sitting back in her seat. “Tell me, Anon. Do you know how passive memory works?”

“I'm sure you're about to fuckin' enlightenment me.” And then I remembered our deal about not swearing, shaking my head and—ow! Why. The. Fuck! Do I keep doing that? Geeze! I thought I'd fucking learn by now. “Sorry. You were saying?”

“Listen closely,” Twilight started, “you may not know this, but our minds are able to store books upon books of information we're not conscious of.” It was at this very moment I was hoping that Chad would show up with my fucking drink. It'd make the speech a bit more bearable. “If we were aware of everything, well, our bodies would shut down! It's as simple as that.”

“Uh-huh.”

“So our minds developed a neat mechanic to allow us to retain potentially useful information, while at the same time, not overloading our senses.” Twilight seemed to be forgetting herself the further she went on. Her voice quickened the closer she got to her point. She tittered in place. “So our minds catalog experiences and items, so that, when we see something that evokes the same stimulus to when we originally saw that thing, we are more bound to remember it!”

I blinked. “So basically, you see something now that reminds you of something you'd seen before. And then you remember it for that moment?”

Twilight huffed. “I liked my explanation more.”

“I'm sure you do,” I replied. “What I fail to see is how all this relates back to me.”

“That's what I'm still trying to figure out for myself,” Twilight replied. “I'm not sure how much I believed you at the moment, but at the very least, your story holds up for now. You have a couple of bruises and such to the back of your head.”

Well, fucking thank you Captain Obvious.

“That could explain your issue in recalling your memories,” she continued, “but something still feels off about it. Something that I can't get my hoof—“

“Your drink!”

I was so happy to see another guy in my life.

“Chad!” I turned in my seat, seeing him standing at the side of the booth. With a smile, he tilted his back toward the table, letting the drink he had on his back slide onto the surface. “Geeze that's a big fucking drink. Did you make it dry?”

“As dry as my sweetness would allow!” Chad dipped his muzzle into his vest, pulling out two bendy straws with his teeth: one pink and one purple. Fucking of course. “I went for the biggest size I could find—“ he giggled, “—downstairs.”

He then faced Twilight Sparkle. The joy dropped from his expression, and he stood up on two legs, holding his hips with his forehooves. “And you, missy, are lucky I went for the biggest size for your sake.”

Twilight wanted to say something, but even with her mouth closed, I could sense her tongue being bit.

“You two enjoy now!” Chad started to trot away from the table, giggling. “And you take good care of that stallion for me, Twilight Sparkle!”

Ah, fuck. Was that how we looked? A fucking date? I looked back at Twilight to find her staring at the fountain of a drink before us, which had a thin base and a wide rim, looking like it took several bottles to fill the fucking thing.

And Twilight did not hesitate for a fucking second. She levitated both of the straws and dipped them into a drink. Leaning over the table, some mane draped over her eyes, but with a swipe of her hoof, she swept the strands behind her ear. She offered me a smile.

“Are you going to have a drink?” she asked. “Or are you feeling unwell now?”

“Even if I was, I'd need a drink to take my mind off it.” I leaned forward as well, hesitant to take the straw leaning toward me. “But isn't something like this a bit whack? I mean, the horses around here may think we're dating or some shit.”

Twilight flicked her eyes up when I swore, but she decided to drop it. “They'll think that I do what I normally do: take special care of my subjects.”

“So I'm not special then?”

“You're special in your special way.” I don't know why, but the voice of a teacher flashed through my mind, someone long ago having said the same thing. Was that the flash of passive memory she had been talking about? “You're so special... that I don't know what to do with you.”

“I'll be fucking off after this, if that helps.”

“Oh? Where will you go?”

“Don't know and don't care.” I brought my lips to the straw, feeling her watch my every inch of movement, feeling her almost smile when I took the tip between my lips. “But if I'm better than most of the stallions in this world, then I shouldn't have any trouble finding my own way.”

Twilight smiled at me. She let her lips sit over her own straw, gently drinking back the booze. Her eyes were closed and her expression was calm. It was aggravating how cute she could look at times—like she was silently challenging me to a fight.

And a fight she would fucking have.

I drew back the liquid with a loud slurp. My eyes drifted shut from the taste—it was the sweetest and driest thing I'd ever tasted! Like a combination that was never meant to be, and yet, was the greatest thing to have ever existed.

I got two gulps in when Twilight pulled away from her straw. “And what about mares? What's your plan for the ones that’ll try to force you into a herd?”

“Tell them to fuck off?”

“Anon~”

“I... don't know!” I shrugged. “I still know jack about this world.” I went for another sip; three to four, Twilight Sparkle. “I imagine if a mare gave me too much trouble, I would tell her to buzz off though. Probably find some place to hire me to—“

“You'd never find work,” Twilight said without even looking at me, stealing two sips from our drink with ease, not even coughing at how much the sweetness burned when it reached the belly. “Not many mares are willing to take a stallion in for work. Unless it was... the work that stallions like to do.”

“You've got to be fucking kidding me?”

“How do you feel about gardening?”

“Fuck off.” I went for another sip, and so did she, both of us staring at the other. She was drinking faster than me with ease—while I suffered the irritation of pure, burning slush sliding down my throat. Five to eight... what the fuck? “Can't I just steal a job from a mare? Give me some actual fucking work here.”

“Unless that mare was understanding of your situation, you would be hard pressed to find a few mares like that.” Twilight went in for another sip, but did not swallow. Looking up at me with her muzzle low, she parted her lips, sticking out her tongue.

There was a trail of slush across it. Gazing up at me still, she smiled, flicking the slush to the back of her maw. She tilted her head back, swallowing somehow seductively. Once done, she lowered her muzzle, opening her mouth and letting me see an empty maw.

“You are so fuckin' weird.”

Twilight closed her mouth. “That's not a nice thing to say.” She shook her head. “Especially to your potential boss.” She crossed her forelegs over her chest. “Why should I ever hire such a stallion with such a filthy mouth?”

“Hire me?” I laughed, taking another sip of the drink... only to stop halfway. I coughed to myself when the liquid hit my tongue. No fucking way. There was no fucking way I was a fucking lightweight in horsey land. “Why would I ever wanna work with you... much less for you...”

“That's because, Mr. Anon, you don't have many options.” Twilight let her hoof trace along the rim of the glass, stopping only when it had bumped into my straw. With a smirk, she flicked it over to her side, dropping her lips to its tip. “It's either you find a job with all the other stallions.”

I'd never been so angry, so horny, and so fucking confused in all my life—which wasn't much considering my recent news. The fucking sexy Twilight kept sipping from my drink, using my straw, and to top it all off, I couldn't even fucking yell at her to knock that shit off! I could see her plush and firm lips working against the plastic, the rest of her slender and fluffy body arching over the table.

“Mmhmm... or you become part of a herd.” Twilight's pulled an inch away from the straw, leaving her tongue underneath it. She slowly licked up, saliva becoming slick to its surface. “That's the route most stallions go, but then again, you're unlike most stallions.”

Her muzzle flew forward to kiss the tip of the straw. She pulled away completely a second later, staring me down from the side of her booth, smirking in a way that claimed victory.

“I've got you trapped in such a unique situation,” Twilight Sparkle said. She let the tip of her tongue swipe across the surface of her lips, taking and licking away any lingering slush. “I could do this with no other stallion. Stay with me, and I'll have work for you to do, a place for you to stay, and I'll be able to keep my eye on you for the next little while.”

She shot a hoof forward, flicking my straw back toward me. “What is it going to be, Anon? Become my personal assistant?” She drew back her hoof, giggling into it. “Or be like every stallion else?”

The bitch fucking had me.