Anon vs RGRE

~ IV ~

Anon VS Oh Fuck

Or, at least, the sexy mare thought she had me.

I sat straight in my seat. Glancing to my right, through the golden railings, the dance floor loomed below, its every tile glowing a different color, and in a blink, the tiles shifted in color, all illuminating together in a sequence that changed constantly to the beat of the music.

I slowly turned my muzzle back to Twilight. She was still leaning back in her seat, forehooves crossed and muzzle held low, a smirk occupying her lips. Her eyes glowed, declaring easy victory. We made eye contact; I wasn't the one to break it.

Twilight's eyes slowly started to blink in response to my silence. She was losing the will to support her smirk. Staring. She was staring at me now. I could see the gears turning in her head—she'd delivered a devastating blow, but here I was, not having flinched.

“So how about it, Anon?”

Nice try, Twilight. I kept looking at her as I lowered my head, taking the straw she'd drunk from between my lips. I never looked away. I took two sips of the strong drink. There was a twitch that shook her body every so often. She was losing faith in herself.

Bullshit. I was heavily bullshitting right now. Twilight had been the toughest challenge this world had to throw at me. She was clever... but was she also gullible?

“Mmhmm.” I pulled away from the straw, watching her squirm in place. “Not a bad offer, Twilight. You almost got me.” I brought a hoof to my mane, slicking it further back. I'd seen it done in some cartoons or some shit like that.

There was a fifty percent chance of it making me look cool; there was also a fifty percent chance I'd look like a fucking dumbass. I hoped for the former and prepared a comeback if it was the latter. “I work for you, and what, you lock me in your basement for a little while?”

“I... don't really have a basement in my castle.”

The fuck? She had a fucking castle of all things? Fuck. Why was I turning her down again?

“Dungeon?”

“Don't really have a dungeon either.” Twilight blinked. “I mean, Spike likes to call his room a dungeon.” She tilted her head and gave a confused smile. “Stallions don't really get locked up here. Most of the time, they get a slap on the wrist, and that's... kinda it.” She then shrugged. “'Equestria hasn't had that many stallions dare to be dangerous before.”

Wait? I could fuck up how many times I wanted and get away with it? I seriously had to think about that for a second. Before I could make any decent discoveries, I realized I was supposed to be fucking over Twilight.

I quickly got back to that.

“What do I get if I work for you?”

“Oh, you know, nothing major.” Twilight slipped back into smugness, waving a hoof dismissively. “Just food, shelter, bits, and companionship. Just things you can go without in life!”

“Hold a fuck... what's a bit?”

“Bits are used in exchange for items and services, as well as—“

“So money then?”

“What's a money?”

“You know! Like, currency or something?”

“We have currency!”

“I know you do. You just explained what bits are.”

Twilight shook her head. “No, no. I mean currency is a word we use to describe our bits!”

“Huh, well wouldn't you know it.” I shrugged my shoulders. How could a mare go from confused, flirtatious, and then excited so seamlessly?” “Sounds like a decent offer. Why the fuck... I mean, why am I getting it?”

“What do you mean?”

“You're a princess and stuff.” I pointed a hoof at our drink, less than half of it remaining, two plastic straws set on the rim at opposing ends. “That means you've got important stuff to do—at least I would hope so. Why waste your time on me?”

“That,” Twilight began, leaning forward, “is a reason I don't have to tell you yet.” She leaned down and took another sip from the drink. Her body swayed slightly in place. “So how about it? Will you stay with me?”

Twilight was hiding something. I knew she was. She was a mixed bag that I just couldn't figure out. I couldn't lie to myself about it anymore: the mares here could be scary as fuck. They held the power. They seemed to lord over stallions. Clever, cunning, conniving.

Could I really be blamed for always being on guard? Waking up in a strange world to have my cock sucked against my will—okay, there wasn't too much I could complain about that, but still, it sent me for a fucking loop.

And Twilight. Twilight! I couldn't fuck with her! She was smarter than me by a landslide. A mare that knew her shit. Every interaction with her, no matter the context, always felt like she was planning something, playing at something, or just having a go at me.

For such a cute girl, she had the absolute ability to annihilate me.

But, by the same token, she had shown me kindness at the fountain. Twilight never made mention of it again. There was a vibe that she was nice—that she was looking out for me for the time being. I... wanted to believe she also wanted help.

But, at the same time, I knew that wasn't her only goal.

And that was the scariest part about Twilight, besides being a fluffy, slender, sexy mare—I knew what she was about, and she had the ability to do anything she please. Brilliant. Sexy. Magical. A powerful princess.

Staying around her would always put me at a disadvantage.

Even if I did like her, she was too dangerous for me.

“Decent deal.” I broke the silence after a few moments of thinking, reclaiming eye contact with her. “Sounds like you're counting on me to succeed. But I've got a question for you.”

“Name it.”

“What happens if I say no?” I asked. “What happens if I decide to leave this town, decline every mare I see, and try my luck at living in some forest or some shit? Would you do anything about that? Would you try to stop me?”

“I...” Twilight shook her head. “No, but that's crazy! You'd never make it alive out there! The Everfree is filled with creatures you could never conceive of.” She slammed her hooves against the table, causing our drink to shuffle over an inch. “You'd get eaten alive! Or starve! You're not even used to using your hooves.”

“Exactly my point,” I said. “I'd get killed out there. The question is... would you let that happen?”

“I...”

There was no stopping the shit eating grin from overtaking my muzzle. Twilight sat still, her mind unable to invent a workaround—answering a personal question I had about her. No matter what overall goal she had, because of her reaction, a part of her did genuinely care for my well being.

Time to play at that part.

“You'd do something to help—” I kept trying at my luck “—maybe bring food or bits and stuff like that. After all, what's a poor, weak, recently turned stallion going to do to survive all on his own?” My voice was a whiny tone and a hoof pressed against my chest.

I dropped my head dramatically, shutting my eyes. “Could you imagine the rumors? The nightmares stallions would have of maybe this happening to them? The mares… they would worry endlessly for the safety their herds.” I smirked. “It would be one hell of a story.” I opened my eyes slyly. “One brought a hundred times over to a princess, of course.”

Twilight swallowed. Her left eye twitched. It hadn't occurred to her that I could be this clever—it was a fluke, of course. Sometimes I was clever and sometimes I was an idiot. I only hoped that, if I talked enough, then I could fool others, especially myself.

If I got this impression through her correctly on the first time, I wouldn't have to worry much about Princess Twilight Sparkle after this night. “So, to save us the trouble of those possible scenarios... how about we play a game of chance?”

Twilight pulled back into her seat, pointing her muzzle down, having her eyes gaze at me from slightly underneath her bangs. “What are you proposing, A-Anon?” Her stutter sent her eyes looking straight down.

For the first time, she sounded weak and beaten, and that gave me one hell of an ego boost.

Play it safe, Anon.

“Shot for shot.” I laid my forelegs on the table, using them so I could lean over the table, smirking all the while. “First drink is my choice. Thirty seconds between rounds. Loser submits to the winner, of course.”

Twilight lifted her head. She sat straight and proud, like a princess and unlike a loser, which was one hell of a transition. She had her muzzle tilted up, looking down at me from over her snout. “What are your terms?”

“All offered perks for no work.” Even in this life, it seemed, my laziness was ripping others off. “Just enough to get me back on my fe... fe... fe...” I blinked as a memory tried to play, but it was too bulky to fit within my gaze. “...get me back on my h-hooves, I mean.”

Twilight ignored my pause. “And if I win?”

“I work for you.”

“Not good enough.” Twilight crossed her forelegs, shaking her head. She pointed a hoof up into the air afterward. “I'd be getting the same deal anyway. It's not fair unless I get something for myself.” She threw up her other hoof. “Why gamble if only I take the risk?”

Twilight was a fighter. I was hoping my blow to her ego would have lasted all night. In under five minutes, she bounced back, already scheming again. In a battle of the minds, I was set to lose, unless my bullshit was on point.

“Fair enough.” I inched my muzzle up. “What does a princess want, that a stallion with nothing, would have?”

“Easy.” Twilight crossed her forelegs on the table as well, leaning her head into them as she slid across the table, coming up before the rim of our drink. “You have to sleep with me.”

I blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

Twilight closed an eye, gave a smirk, then playfully stuck her tongue out at me. “You heard me. You're the first stallion that's ever rejected me before.” Her chin sunk into the fur of her leg. “A princess turned down by a stallion? That's a perfect track record broken by you.” She shook her head, giggling. “The girls would never let me live it down!”

Girls? What girls?

“Of course, we could play this little game of yours later, when you've gotten some proper rest.” Twilight stared up at me from the small field of her purple fur. “No matter where we played, I would win anyway.”

I don't doubt it. Being a princess, or unicorn with wings, or whatever the fuck—it granted her liver of fucking steel. If there was any chance of winning, it would be now, when we were both fucked.

Who backs down because their head hurts?

“Now works.” I also leaned forward and into my hooves, staring at her from the same level, the rivalry between us getting me excited. “You did me the flavor of downing most of our own drink. Shouldn't have taken so many gulps, Twilight.”

She tried to hide it, but I saw her eyes gloss over for a second.

“So, thanks for that.” I smiled. “Even with my head, that puts us on equal ground.” I came up from my hooves, feeling like I'd won. Confidence flooded through me just as I was going to need it most. “So how about it, princess? Feel like you can face me?”

Twilight glanced down for a second, thought about something, and then quickly, faster than a second, sat straight. She still swayed slightly in place, but kept herself mostly still, smiling and staring at me.

“You're on then, Anon.” She pressed a hoof against her bottom lip, lightly pressing it up. “See these here? You better get ready to start kissing them again.” Her gaze then drew to along her back, settling on her supple flanks. “Among... other things.”

One second and I'm feeling like a genius; another second, and I'm wondering if I've fucked myself badly. I blinked. There was no getting out of this, not after all my shit talking. She had me and I had her.

I promised to face this strange world and come out the victor.

Even if that meant out drinking a pony princess.

“Chad!” I yelled over my shoulder. “Get me the biggest bottle of whiskey you have.”

Twilight blinked at my choice of drink. If she didn't mess with the strong stuff, then maybe, just maybe, she would bow out by the second shot.

“And after you've done that, Chadsworth!” Twilight called out as she leaned over into the walkway, “Get us the bottle of the sweetest drink you have! The more stallion-ly, the better!”

Twilight saw my shoulders drop.

“What's the matter, Anon?” she said. “Did you not expect me to play fair?”