Authors Note
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pain
pain
pain
PAIN
PAIN
Thats all my mind decided to say or scream, I jumped up and looked around. Trees thats all i saw trees as far as my eyes could see,
in an instant a pain shot through my body,I grunted and slouched down and held my knees. After going through fifteen minutes of trying to make the pain in my knees to go down i decided to look for people or buildings walking down a trail that has some recent tracks, they aren't foot prints there hoof prints, strange i must say but middle of nowhere no towns near bye seems suspicious though. These tracks seem to increase in number as i go down the trail ,really weird how there's no footprints.
"OH FUCK SAPPHIRE WHERE ARE YOU" I look around and realize that shes on my waist "oh thank god". I pull her off my waist and check to see if shes okay I turn her on and automatically she shoots out energy, gotta love beam katanas they always brighten up my day."Okay Sapphire lets see if you still run correctly" I dashed to a near bye tree and cut it to twenty or more pieces,"SLICE N DICE SLICE N DICE HAHAHAH" I love this thing. I go through my pockets and realize that i still have my ipod and a piece of gum, I place my headphones on and select rob zombie superbeast. Out of nowhere a flying horse popped out of nowhere "dafaq HERE HORSEY HORSEY HORSEY", I get its attention and it flys down and i hide in a tree to jump on it. I start to notice that this horse thing has wings and it has a hazard mask i wonder why eh fuck it, I leaped and landed on the horses back and in about three nano seconds he shoots up from the ground and starts flying like a bat out hell with me on his back"GET OFF MY BACK"
"HOLY SHIT A TALKING HORSE IF YOU CAN SPEAK LAND GET TO GROUND I DON'T WANNA DIE" im terrified of heights ." Its a small world after all its a small world after all" I sang to myself trying to calm down while im practically ripping his fur out. He lands and bucks me off his back he then rushes me I dodge but he appears out of nowhere an he turns and kicks me in my jaw with his hind legs. I stagger but gain my footing "HEY CALM DOWN" I punched him in his temple jumped over him and grab and threw him into a tree, "dude calm down Jesus man i go for one ride and you act like you are about to get butt fucked" I exclaimed. He just stood there looking confused.
"Whats you're name."
"Kane my names Kane whats yours."
"Thunder Thundertwist what are you."
"I could ask the same thing why the FUCK do you have wings."
"What are you alright im a Pegasus all Pegasus have wings." He said as he stretched out his wings, they were a good five feet long on each side.
"Well im human and where i come from there is not a single read my lips here SINGLE Pegasus its just not possible" I started to think maybe im dreaming wait i cant be dreaming that kick felt pretty real.
"Wait wait wait wait wait you're a human"
"yes"
"And you've never seen my kind before"
"yes" his questions are starting to get annoying.
"So where are you from Kane"
"Im from Austin,Texas"
"Wait where ive never heard of that place is it near Mannehatten or Cloptown"
"Wait Mannehatten,Cloptown are you high its in America"
"Are you high what the hell is America ive never heard of that place you're in Equestria friend to be more specific you are near ponyville"
"Ponyville Uh-hu well that proves it my sanity just went down the drain could you excuse me me for one moment im going to pass out now" I muttered as I Blackout.
I opened my eyes around and noticed a blinding blue light at the end of some tunnel "WAIT AM I DEAD HOW THE HELL DID I DIE!" I screamed, I started to panic but then I start to notice that there's a figure at the end of the blue light i cant make out her face but i do start to make out a pair of purple shaded sunglasses that covered her entire eyes strange. I start walking towards her but she just laughs and begins running, I give chase butt out of nowhere a perfect replica of me jumps from the sky and lands right in front of me.
"I have to admit i look good." I said while looking my self over
"Hey i look better then you asshole."
"You are me dumbass."
"You're an asshole."
"Im you dumbass so you just called you're self an asshole so HA." I knew was smarter then him wait me wait him uuuuu my head hurts.
"Well if you are me then lets fight to see whose better me or...... me."
"Fine but I wont go easy"
He lunged at me and went for my neck dodged grabbed Sapphire and started to attack back. I noticed an opening and went for it but he quickly realized this and parried my attack and went straight for my heart i blocked and we went into a power struggle "You're pretty good oh wait im pretty good" I mocked. He let go of the blade and ducked and upper cutted me and ran behind me and suplexed me to the ground, as soon as he let go i jumped up and went for his head. He did not see this coming and i cut hi or my pretty little head off, I start to notice hes turning around and he starts moving his lips"You cheap fucker you good fight see you in hell" as those last words left his mouth he grabbed his long red hair and pulled his head off making a delicious crimson shower. "Rest in peace see you in hell" i kicked his corpse over and noticed that the girl with the sunglasses was watching the entire time with huge headphones on blasting dubstep, I walk over to her and ask her name she says nothing an gets up and hugs me. "See you soon" she whispered in my ear and kissed my cheek and just disappeared.
I jolted up sweating like crazy i start to look around and see im in some fashion store. From a door on the right a pony with a white coat and a violet colored mane and tail that are in twirls and its rear end looked like it had diamonds."Hello my dear my name is Rarity pleased to meet you" her voice sounded sweet but uneasy,"Um im sorry if i cant think straight usually I don't see talking pony's so this is a little hard for me to take in wait a minute WHERES MY BLADE" I Screamed. She jumped back at the boom of my voice "what blade all you had was that weird hilt its on the table" she said as she was on the brink of tears," Nononononono dont cry im sorry its just" i put my hand over my mouth "Its all i have left from my father just please don't cry i cant handle it when a beautiful woman er pony cries" I ask with worry in my voice. "Oh its alright dear I accept you're apology and im sorry for taking it away from you" she exclaims but i still catch a tear sliding from her face. I take my finger and wipe the tear off "hey its alright thanks for taking me into you're home on another note where exactly am I","Oh yes you're in my fashion shop my daughters boyfreind brought you in a couple of hours ago hes in the living room if you wanna see him". "That would be nice" grabbing Sapphire and hitching her on one of my belt loops and head towards the living,Thunder notice me walk in "I see you're awake does your jaw still hurt I know my wing still hurts after you threw me into a tree" he said quite pissed."Eh don't get your panties in a bunch you'll be fine you coulda kicked my jaw off" I snapped back,"guess your right but still why the hay did you jump on my back"
"I wanted to ride you and fly my way home i had no idea you could talk sorry dude."
"Eh its fine just don't try it again okay."
"Fine so whats up with the mask."
"I'll tell you later for know im taking you to princess Celestia for she can decide whats going to happen to you."
"What if I don't want to im not good with authority so i'll be going now."
"No you wont your coming with me to see the princess." This time putting his hoof on my shoulder.
"Fine fine i'll go no need to cry about it lets just get this over with." Said while walking out the door with Thunder soon following.
Remember guys go read The Thunder Twist Chronicle it tells the back story of Thundertwist so yeah go read if any of you guys have a problem tell me all feedback is greatly appreciated thank you.
"So how are we suppose to get to this little magical castle with this so called princess Celestia" I asked with confusion.
" Were going to go find twilight for then she can just telaport us there"
"How the hell is she suppose to do that is she magic or did she make a deal with Satan to have super powers" I laughed as i put
put my fingers up in a horn gesture.
"No shes a unicorn all unicorns can use magic so we'll just ask her if she can use her magic to take us there understand"
"Not at all but fuck it might as well go along with it"
The first thought that went through my mind is why the hell is someone living in a tree and how the hell did they clear the insides out and make it still stand. We start heading up to the door way and i start to hear something , "INCOMING" I turn and I get a dark green pegasus to the stomach. As im flying through the air about to hit a tree I think to my self "WHY GOD WHY, IS THIS KARMA". As soon as I make contact with the tree I hear a sickening SNAP, then I start to feel a very painful feeling going through by back. "unpleasant" I moaned as I was laying on the ground checking my back, I looked at this dark green pegasus with hate filled eyes half tempting to cut him into little pieces.
"So do you usually put people through trees or am I just FUCKING special"
"Sorry dude I was going to fast to stop, by the way what are you"
"Oh little old me im the dude you just crashed into, to be more specific im a human" giving a little twirl.
"A human, cant say ive seen your kind before well its a pleasure to meet you my name is Gambit" he said with kindness in his voice and extending a hoof out.
I shake Gambits hoof and I start to notice that gambit is gawking at my fingers,"Like what you see" asking with a bit of a girly voice."N-no I was staring at the ground yeah that's it" I CALL BULLSHIT.The door to the library opens and a purple pony with a dark purple mane with a streak of light pink or purple, im not good with colors."What happened" she screamed as as she got a glimpse of my now quite bloody back. As she screamed I noticed that there is a pool of blood where im standing ,"mommy I dont wanna go to sleep" I slurred as I started to lose my balance. I dropped to my knees and started to feel lightheaded "Thunder grab him we have to get him to hospital."
My eyes shoot open and started to scan the area I was in a clean white room and I was hooked to a rather large amount of machines. To my left I see a passed out Thunder with a pony at his side sleeping, I go to stand up and I get shot down to the ground by the pain now coursing through my back "SON OF A BITCH" I screamed as I fell to the ground. Thunder shot up and noticed me on the ground causing in pain, "You okay Kane" he asked as he helped me get up "Ill be fine". "So what was so bad that I had to go to the hospital?" "Well when they were done operating on you they told us what exactly happened, apparently when Gambit put you through that tree most of the wood that your back hit went through your skin and one of the branches pierced your left lung its a miracle that your still breathing for a second there I thought you were going to die but you'll be fine in a good two weeks" "Wait two weeks fuck that ill see you later" I said quickly as I ran for the door. I bust through the door and head for the exit, just as I was going to escape a purple glow surrounded my entire body "Fucking magic no more" I managed to wiggle my arm to my beam katana and turn it on, to my amazement the charm that I put on there just for style started to shine and It cut write through the magic glow. I got a good eight steps in before Thunder and Gambit tackled me to the ground " So close yet so far". "You have to stay here to get better" they both said in unison while trying to hold me down"No I don't wanna they'll cut me open and sell my parts im not staying here" I shouted as I was trying to bite one of their legs to let go, suddenly a bright flash occured in the hallway we were in. I shielded my eyes and standing before me was a tall dark blue pony with wings and a horn with the most beautiful smile ive seen in my entire life. I was starring and blushing like a girl, I tore my gaze from her and stood up trying to look my best. Thunder and Gambit bowed I stood there and caught on "You must be a princess I should have known only a princess would have such beauty" I said trying to be nice as possible . She blushed "Holy shit I made a princess blush I am the ultimate man" My mind likes to speak, "I see someone is quite the gentlecolt" She said with a even more beautiful smile then before god if your real please give me this wish I want the last thing I see before I die is to see her smile. "Princess Luna I thought that Princess Celestia was going to come where is she?" Thunder asked with worry in his voice "Do not worry Thundertwist she is fine she is off on royal business so I am here to inspect our new friend here and I can already tell he is going to be very useful". useful why would I be useful something don't feel right. "Well until my sister comes back Kane will need a place to stay" Gambit rose his hoof "Princess he can stay with me ,my mother wont mind and we have a spare room" Luna smiled "Very well then I will see you all tomorrow butt before I leave Kane can I speak to you in private" "Of course princess". I followed her outside suddenly I could feel a force on my neck "Lets get one thing straight I dont know what you are or where you came from but if you hurt Thunder or Gambit I will personally take you to the moon and watch as you suffocate to death got" I was terrified but
me being a jackass I lunged my head forward and kissed her I dont know why but apparently my mind was horny and made me do it (hey don't bring me onto this your the one that wanted to tap that so be quite and take whatever punishment were about to receive.) I broke the kiss I tasted my lips and they tasted like blueberry's with a hint of honey , the next thing that happened I did NOT expect , she leaned forward and kissed me but quickly pulled her head back and slapped me with her hoof and telaported away. I stood there standing there with half my face red as a apple with a goofy smile, I look to my right and I see Gambit walking out from the hospital "Woah what happened to you" I smirked "I think I just did something thats going to make my life a bit harder" well lets get to my place its getting late" "good idea.
The carriage ride to ponyville was relaxing I mostly just listened to music, I showed Gambit my ipod and he kept saying that his mom is going to love me. When we got there It seemed like a normal house until I got to the door, Gambit opened the door and my ears popped at the music that was being blared at such a level it felt like a small earthquake "MOM TURN IT DOWN WE HAVE A GUEST" the music went down and out from a unicorn with a electric blue mane and a ghostly whit coat she stopped mid stride and just starred at me "Um..hel" that's all I got out before I got a disc to the face making a pretty decent sized gash on my face "Quickly Gambit run before he gets you" Gambit jumped In front of me "Mom stop hes a friend , Kane this is my mom, mom this is Kane we have been asked by princess Luna to watch over him for a while" Gambit's mother started to look me over still not convinced she slowly started to walk forward with fear in her eyes. She quickly held her hoof out and gave a blood curdling stare straight towards me "Hello im the one and only Vinyl Scratch if Gambit says your a friend
then I trust you" I grabbed her hoof and shook but she quickly pulled me forward "And if you hurt Gambit or my wife ill cut your dick off and buttfuck your corpse understand" " yes m-m-mam" "good welcome to the house". Vinyl started to give me the grand tour of her home when I started to hear the most beautiful sound ive ever heard come from a room to the far right "what is that wonderful sound" "Oh that its just tavi playing her cello, hey tavi come out here we have a guest" a coal gray mare came out of the room with a cleft note on her flank. "Now before you freak this is Kane princess Luna asked us if we could watch him hes going to be living with us for a while, Kane this is my wife Octavia" She motioned me forward "Pleasure to meet you Octavia I heard you playing and might I say that sounded beautiful maybe sometime we can play together" I said with a smile, she looked at me with suspicion but then gave a heart warming smile "That would be lovely oh my what happened to your face" Vinyl gave me a look that shouted "you say one thing your dead" I gave a worried smile "Oh its nothing just fell well im tired could you show me to my room I need to sleep" Gambit tapped my shoulder "Over here right next to mine ill show you g'night mom love you" "G'night sweetie see you in the morning" Vinyl and Octavia gave a wave and went into there rooms. I looked over to Gambit "Sweetie?" I started to laugh "Shut up heres your room ill see you in the morning night" "night". with that I jumped in bed and slowy started to drift to dreamland "I guess things wont be so bad after all" I closed my eyes and passed out.
