What Can I Do?

"C'mon, Celestia old girl, pull yourself together.

Do you know what you are doing?

I've been doing this for as long as time existed, I know exactly what I am doing."

Celestia didn't know what she was doing. Ever since she became enamored with jam, her late-night indulges were starting to become progressively more ravenous.

A figurative apple clunked her noggin. She chalked it up to the sticky nature of jam, all that licking and sucking gave rise to lascivious thoughts and now her focus was breaking out of 1000-year old itch. The immortal and more complicated version of a mid-life crisis.

Celestia She found herself knocking indiscriminately at the Ponyville library at an ungoddessly hour

Celestia had gotten a bout of the ol' "I'm-Immortal-I'll-Make-It-Work" mentality and had found herself about to knock on the window of her faithful, very young student. It was currently three o'clock in the morning and Celestia had a case of increasingly poor jam judgment.

She had decided to bang, Twilight Sparkle, forthwith, and post-haste.

Being a Goddess of light, she was expectedly hesitant, in the night. "Luna will never let me hear the end of this." She thought morosely, as she knocked. Luna was sure to find out, and it's not likely she'd be willing to forget secrets anytime soon.

There was a slight rustle from inside, Celestia panicked and turned to go, spread her wings, and then-

"Princess Celestia? What are you doing here?" Said Spike, clad in a little nightshirt and cap.

"Damn, forgot about the little purple nigga." Celestia thought urbanly. Spike was a few words away from being a Goddess's cockblock. She had to think quick before-

"PRINCESS? Uh, I didn't know you were- Well, of course, I did- I had it on my calendar! I mean I think I do- because I for sure didn't forget our 3:15 meeting, let me just-Spike don't just stand there! Make the princess some tea or something! Would you like some tea?-"

"Twilight, we ran out of tea yesterday."

"Honestly Spike, please go get some, the Princess is waiting!"

"But no places are open at-"

Twilight looks panicked and begins to plead with the little dragon in annoyingly adorable and desperate ways.

He remains unimpressed, but he gives in with a sigh. "I'll go see if Fluttershy has some..." He takes a little hoodie from the coat hanger by the entrance and starts to leave, grumbling a little. On his way out the door, he has a thought and cracks a smile before throwing a finger gun gesture at Celestia. "Chamomile, right?" He asks brightly.

"Yes, Chamomile, of course, thank you, Spike." Celestia awkwardly said,-

-while internally she guffawed. "Well, that worked out well! Now all I have to do is-" Her thoughts were interrupted when she turned to face Twilight. She looked delightfully perturbed and at the same time delighted. If that was at all possible, Twilight could swing it.

Celestia swooned as Twilight murmured to herself.

"Actually, I'm sure we didn't have a meeting... It's Tuesday... Well, Wednesday now..."

Celestia, while still a bit stymied by her conscience, was managing to pull off grace. "Do you have something regularly scheduled for Tuesday?"

"Well it's Teasday so Spike has to-"

"It's what?" Celestia remarks, her eyebrows shooting up.

Twilight immediately blushes and goes mute.

Celestia shoots Twilight an expectant smile.

Twilight complies and stammers out this; "Um.. E-e-every Tuesday, Spike and I ... combine all the leftover tea we had from the previous week in the same kettle... and we..." She deeply blushes as she whispers this next part; "... we call it Teasday."

Celestia allows herself a slump of the head and sighs in defeat. Well, that killed my buzz. Celestia thinks grimly.

The alicorn sighs in defeat. "Okay, you win universe. I'll wait until she's immortal." Twilight's ears twitch but she didn't quite catch that.

Somewhere in dreamland, Luna was laughing her ass off.

Celestia spreads her wings and takes off, leaving a flustered and embarrassed Twilight to her nervous musings.