The Conversion Bureau: Palladion's Tales

The day was filled with pomp and ceremony - it was a big day for the HLF’s new regional commander, after all.

“Thank you, thank you all!” he cried. “You do me the honor of choosing me to lead us all in this time of war against those filthy equines!”

He thrust a fist into the air, the crowd cheered, and the commander nodded in satisfaction. He still had it, and- what the hell was that?

He looked closer; a white equine stood at the back of the hall, smiling calmly at him. Wings, horn... golden crown... flowing mane... it was Celestia!

“I see her!” the commander shouted, pointing. “It’s Celestia! Kill her now!”

With a silent flash of sunlight, Celestia vanished, leaving behind nothing at all. The HLF at large turned to look, and saw nothing, muttering in confusion.

“She was right there,” protested the Commander. “You were all too slow to look!”

The HLF just tittered amongst themselves. Was this their new leader?

======

The Regional Commander leaned over his map - every bit of his new domain, down to conversion rates and remaining human population.

“Your sandwich, Commander,” an aide said, holding a plate with the namesake item on it, a simple, toasted cheese sandwich.

“Just leave it there,” the Commander said, “and leave me.”

“Yessir.” The aide saluted, and walked out, leaving the sandwich on the edge of the table. The commander returned to his map.

crunch crunch

The commander looked up, and saw Celestia, holding what was left of his sandwich; crumbs on her only mildly guilty-looking face betrayed where the other half had gone.

“What?” she defended. “I missed lunch. It’s a very nice sandwich, by the way, top notch.”

“You!” The commander reached for his holster; no pistol. Celestia smiled, and with another flash of light, vanished.

“Aaaaaaaagh!” the commander screamed, slamming a fist into the table.

======

The two guards looked at each other, standing outside a door. Armed to the teeth, enough to kill a herd of ponies.

“Any idea why we’re babysitting the new commander?” One asked.

“No idea,” Two said. “I can’t believe we’re on ‘round the clock.”

Inside the room, the Commander settled in to go to sleep; perhaps this was all just a trick of his mind, all the sightings of Celestia. Pressure must be getting to him.

He sighed, and shut his eyes, trying to go to sleep. But something long and wet touched the inside of his ear, and his eyes shot open.

He slowly looked to his right to see Celestia, tongue hanging out.

“Blolololop!” she said, winking, smiling, and vanishing once more. The HLF commander couldn’t take it any more.

“CELESTIAAAAAAAA!”

This story sprang from the mind of one Erac, I just penned it properly - why not go give him some love?