The Pub of Chaos

Things hadn’t been bad in the last week. The customers were still coming to the pub, I was thinking about my problems, and Big Mac was officially moving to my place this weekend. Or so I thought…

"But weren’t you going to definitely settle this Saturday?" I asked my partner without understanding as he drank a pint of beer that Sunset served him.

"Eeyup, but Ah forgot to tell ya one thing, Ah’m gonna spend this weekend with mah girlfriend." Those words surprised me a lot. Ok, Big Mac and I had not seen each other for a long time, but I expected him to tell me this kind of news during the opening day of the pub.

"Do you have a girlfriend? Since when? How did you meet her? "The questions were many and I did not know which ones to start with.

"Her name’s Sugar Belle, she has a pastry shop in a nearby town, Ah met her deliverin’ apples, and we've been dating for two years." Two years out, I looked surprised as I let out a whistle, I really didn’t know if that was a long or short time; As far as I'm concerned, that was record to me.

"Congratulations, Mac, so a baker uh? Let me guess, you gave her the genre first, and then you put the eclair in her oven!" I laughed at my vulgar comment while Big Mac only looked away in embarrassment.

"Ugh, Bourbon, you're a pervert..." Sunset Shimmer mumbled on the other side of the bar while holding a tray full of empty glasses.

"Come on, Sunset, don't be such a prude!" I mocked at my scandalized waitress.

"Anyway, partner, we'll see each other when the weekend ends. See ya!" After this, Big Mac came out the door, leaving me with my daily chores.

It didn't take long until I saw another person enter the bar, a girl in this case. She wore a simple green dress that reached her knees, she had a long pink hair that hid part of her face, a clear sign of shyness, someone who doesn’t like to attract too much attention. I would recognize a girl like that for miles...

"Fluttershy! What a joy to see you!" I said happy to see her.

"Hi Bourbon... thanks, I'm glad to see you too," she replied in a soft tone. "May I have a cider, please? I mean, if it doesn’t bother you... "After all this time I was still surprised at how timid Fluttershy was.

"Whatever you wish, beautiful." After saying this she blushed. I'm not one of those who compliment the girls all the time but doing it with Fluttershy is always fun because of her shyness.

After serving her the cider she thanked me and took a sip. There was something that caught my attention, Fluttershy was quiet, more than usual, seemed somewhat restless and kept looking at the door. I was pretty sure this girl had dated with someone.

"Fluttershy, I don’t mean to be indiscreet, but have you dated someone?"

"Uhm, yes, I'm meeting an old friend..." She said.

Upon hearing this, Sunset Shimmer get involved in the conversation.

"Uh, an old friend, is someone special?" She asked mischievously.

"Uh... yeah, but you already know him Sunset." The fiery haired girl was surprised, and was about to continue with her questions, but a couple beckoning from one of the tables forced her to walk away.

The front door opened, and a rather strange guy appeared. He wore an orange suit and a matching fedora hat. However, what surprised me the most was that he went straight to where Fluttershy was...

"Fluttershy! Have you been waiting a lot?" The man asked.

"Oh no! I arrived five minutes ago!" Fluttershy replied, happy to see that guy.

I couldn’t believe it, my face at that time should be a poem. I mean, I'm not the one to judge other people's relationships, unless they ask me and pay me for it, of course; but Fluttershy would be between 26 and 28 years old, and this guy was already in his forty-something...

Was that it? Did Fluttershy have a thing on older guys?

"Oh, let me introduce you, he is Bourbon the owner of the pub. Bourbon, this is Discord, the friend of whom I spoke to you." That Discord man stretched out his hand and I shook it.

"It's a pleasure Mr. Discord." I said being nice.

"The pleasure is mine, you have a pretty nice tavern." I laughed at the compliment.

"Well hello Discord! I didn’t expect to see you around here." Said Sunset Shimmer standing beside me behind the bar.

"Fluttershy told me during our Tuesday tea party that this place was pretty good, and I decided to drop it." Discord made a move to fall off the stool, which caused a light laugh from Fluttershy and Sunset. "Excuse me one second, I have to go to the toilet, may I have a gin and tonic please?"

I pointed to Discord the direction of the toilet and stayed with Sunset and Fluttershy as I instructed the first one to prepare the drink.

"He seems... nice." I said trying to start a conversation.

"Discord is peculiar, but you get used to him, although, prepare for a lot of trolling." Said Sunset Shimmer.

"Anyway, Fluttershy, I don’t want to sound impertinent, but isn’t he a bit old for you?" After saying this Fluttershy did not seem to understand what I was saying, but a Sunset’s laugh and the sudden blush of the pink haired girl made me realize my mistake.

"Fluttershy and Discord are not dating." Said Sunset while laughing.

"Let's say that I'm like that strange uncle who embarrasses you at family dinners, but then you have a great time if you go out drinking with him." Said a voice behind me.

I turned around suddenly only to see Discord eyeing the whiskey bottles.

"What the…? What the fuck are you doing here? "I asked more confused than pissed off.

"I only looked at your whiskeys, you need more variety."

"Get the hell out of here!"

Discord returned to his place next to Fluttershy.

After my sudden surprise, I decided to start a normal conversation.

"Well Discord, and what’s your job?" I asked my new eccentric customer and put some peanuts to nibble on.

"I'm a professor of philosophy at the college, a specialist in Chaos Theory, " he said, picking up a peanut.

"Interesting. I'm a psychologist."

"Well, you must be pretty bad at it if you ended up here..." Discord said as he sipped his drink and Fluttershy laughed.

"Hey! I am here of my own free will, let's say that I feel better with the stools than with the couches." It was not the first time they commented on something like this, it seems that it was strange to all of them that I didn’t want to practice my profession... well, at least not in a conventional way.

"Hahahaha, I love this guy!" The expression on my face was undecipherable at that moment, I don't know why, but a chill ran down my back.

When I analyzed Discord more closely, I realized that I couldn't get anything out of him. He was weird yes, eccentric and he looked like he was one of those people who go against the current. But I could feel a great intelligence in him, the kind which you expect from a cold and calculating person who masks his abilities in an aura that seems to say, ‘I don’t give a fuck’.

For half an hour we were discussing philosophy, a theme that, by the way, Discord took to his field all the time...

"No, no, chaos at best can be a primordial thing, but civilization always arises throughout history to contain it." I said convinced of my argument.

"Exactly, and precisely because of this, chaos is an inevitable path, no civilization is eternal, and when it ends, chaos comes, although sometimes it needs a push for it..." Discord's approach was somewhat obscure, but I couldn’t help but see that his theory made sense.

The door of the pub was reopened, and I almost hit my head with the bar when I saw the customer who entered...

A young man in his early twenties, looking like a hipster, but without a long beard, and a haughty attitude that did him no favor.

"Hello, sis!"

"Zephyr, weren't you in a job interview?" Fluttershy asked his brother.

"Of course, and they hired me, did you think your brother is stupid?" Zephyr's comment created a rather awkward silence, as if it were necessary to answer the question. "Well, do you invite me to a beer to celebrate?"

Zephyr Breeze, Fluttershy's little brother, was not characterized by being a self-made man. He still lived with his parents and his jobs lasted no more than a week. Not that he was useless, but his fear of failure and the fact that his parents never forced him to fly out of the nest infatuated him as much as he could.

Fluttershy retired a moment and Sunset served a half pint to Zephyr.

"Well, Zephyr, and what exactly what work you took?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Well... telecommunications." He said while scratching the back of his neck and looking away. Something told me that I was lying.

"Telecommunications? You? " Discord asked puzzled. " What the hell do you know about telecommunications?"

"Well, I 'll know if I 've been hired, I'm not so useless..."

Zephyr entered the office where another man dressed on a suit, half-bald and thin-built, was waiting for him.

"Good afternoon, let me say to you that I always wanted to work on this, as a child when they asked me 'what do you want to be when you grow up?' I always said: telecommunicator. " Zephyr said, sitting in the chair facing the other man.

"Well, I like that spirit, but you will understand that before hiring you I have to do a test." Said the man.

"Sure, of course." Zephyr placed his hand imitating a phone. "Hey, you! how you don't have the report, you’re fired!" Zephyr continued with his imitations while the man looked at him weirdly. "No, don't pass me more calls! " Zephyr pretended to hang up the phone and turned to the man with a smile of satisfaction. " What do you think?"

"Eh... very funny," he replied simply. "Now seriously, talk dirty to me, let’s see if it turns me on."

After that sentence Zephyr's expression changed to concern. Fluttershy's brother discreetly approached the man's desk to make sure he heard correctly.

"Eh... sorry, what did you say?"

"Turn me on, get me horny. There are many candidates who want this position." He said like it was the most normal thing in the world. "Hurry up and talk dirty, my wife is waiting for me."

"Wow, wow, wow. " Zephyr said rising and going back slowly staring at that guy with disgust. "Look, there’s no way you can make me do that, I know that the job market is shit but I don't do these things even for work..." Zephyr got up and prepared to leave. " Well, I did it once, but even if she had more beard than you at least she was a girl."

"Hey, wait, don't get confused kid," said the guy, getting up from his chair. “Here we are looking for telemarketers for a gay hotline, didn’t they explain it to you outside?"

Zephyr's eyes widened after what he had just heard. They were looking to hire him to say obscenities to other men and get them excited.

"Oh... What did you say? A gay hotline? No... it's just that I'm not... hey I respect, but I’m not into those things. " Zephyr said without turning his back on the man as he approached the door of the office more and more.

"It’s a pity, but you could take 1100 dollars per month plus commission for each call."

Zephyr stopped short, and without flinching approached the man and said, "And when did you say I could start?"

Discord and I could not bear to laugh at the story that Zephyr Breeze told us, Sunset, on the other hand, covered her face embarrassed with a hand. Zephyr definitely was such character, but this story took the big prize.

“You’re working at a gay hotline?" I said grabbing my stomach as I laughed out loud.

"Seriously Zephyr, every time I think I can’t laugh more with you, you go and surprise me." Discord held his head almost crying with laughter.

"What are you laughing at?" Zephyr said indignantly. "It's not that bad either..."

"By the way, does Fluttershy know this?" Discord asked, wiping away a tear.

"Eh... better that she does not know it yet... Fluttershy is very impressionable." That's a cheap excuse, although I had to admit that maybe Fluttershy would faint by knowing what his brother was working on. "Anyway, I'm still saying that it's not to create so much drama, it's a job like any other!"

"Zephyr, being a waiter is a job like any other, don’t you think that's almost like prostitution?" Said Sunset getting into the conversation. "Besides, those hotlines are a fraud, they keep you on phone and they think that saying a couple of dirty words you'll reach orgasm..." We stood staring at Sunset surprised, she blushed and react inmediately. "That's what they say..."

"Hey, mind your tongue, I don’t have sex with anyone, I only create an illusion of eroticism, this is an art, a science." It seemed that Zephyr really believed what he was saying.

Suddenly his phone rang and he without further ado picked up.

"Yes? Yes, I'm totally shaved... "Everybody looked at Zephyr as if he had suddenly grown another head. "I have a sweet and soft ass... Yes, yes, all for you... Oh... yeah, ah… there you are... Look, I'm touching myself..." I don't know what was worse, the phrases or the fact that Zephyr was poking his finger in the nose while talking. "Ah... ah... AH! "Between moans and groans we did not know where to hide ourselves, we felt so embarrassed that we didn’t even notice who had come back from the toilet...

"Hi guys, sorry I took so long..." said Fluttershy returning to his place while Discord could not stand laughing and Sunset and I put our best poker face and pretended we were working.

Zephyr looked one second to her sister and came out with the only thing he could think of... "Yeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaah!" We all startled to hear that bellow. "And that's how a rocker would yell, see you later dude."

"Look, I'm neither gay nor female, but if someone gets aroused with this guy, I'd be willing to give him therapy for free." I whispered to Sunset, who gave me the reason with a grimace.

"And what are you doing now Zephyr?" Asked Fluttershy surprised.

"Well... nothing, talking to a friend... about a concert you know?" Zephyr placed the phone on the bar and disguised everything possible. "Hey, I don't have to give you explanations of what I'm doing with my life."

Without further ado, Fluttershy's brother finished his beer, got up and left nervously, leaving his sister confused.

"What’s wrong with him?" Fluttershy asked.

"Nothing, I'm sure he's confused because maybe he has to play for the other team.” Said Discord chuckling, leaving Fluttershy even more confused.

Suddenly the cell phone that Zephyr left on the bar began to ring. I was going to take it when Fluttershy came forward, picked up the phone and sighed...

"This brother of mine... always forgetting his things." Fluttershy picked it up and a drop of cold sweat ran down my neck. "Yes?" After a silence that lasted only two seconds, Fluttershy opened her eyes wide and blushed so hard that she looked like a tomato. "Lick you what?!"

Fluttershy dropped the phone suddenly as if it were burning. "What was that?"

"Fluttershy, I don’t think we should tell you right now..." I said trying to be tactful.

"Your brother works for a gay hotline," Discord said suddenly.

"Yeah, very subtle Discord..." Added Sunset Shimmer with irony.

"My brother What??!" It was the only thing Fluttershy managed to say with his weak voice.

Fluttershy grabbed her things and left quickly.

"And they both leave without paying!" I said indignantly crossing my arms.

"Easy there, these run to my account." Discord said laughing and finishing his glass. Then he took the money out of his wallet and left it at the bar. "You know? I like you, and I like this pub, see you another day..."

Discord put on his hat and said goodbye, leaving me with an empty glass in his hand and an expression of confusion.

"Boss, are you okay?" Sunset asked me, tapping me on the shoulder to get my attention.

"Yes Sunset, it’s only that I have the strange feeling that Pandora's box has entered in my pub and I opened it without realizing..."

The next day began without any news. After breakfast I went to open the bar eager to see who wanted to visit me in the morning.

Of course, the first one to arrive was Sunset.

"Hello boss!" She greeted me.

"Hi Sunset, before you set out to serve coffee, could you give me a count of barrels of beer?" She nodded and went to the store while I waited for the customers.

Soon a client arrived, in this case a young woman. I recognized her immediately and went to the table where she sat.

"Good morning, Berry."

"Hi Bourbon." Berryshine, or Berry Punch, as we all called her, seemed downcast, well, more than usual. That girl drank for ten, but given her circumstances, one never knew if she drank for pleasure or to drown punishments.

"How are Ruby and Piña Colada?" When I asked for them daughters, I realized that if Berry was depressed it had something to do with it.

"They’re fine, I left them with my sister. But I'm very overwhelmed, if it's not them, it's the work, if it’s not, is them asshole father... "Berry sighed. The truth is that I didn’t envy her situation. Berry had her daughters at a very young age, and the father... let's say he disappeared in combat. Well not exactly, since Berry received news from him from time to time, but almost always to exchange insults.

At least the girls went well. The eldest, Piña Colada, would finish high school shortly and she will go to college. The youngest, Ruby Pinch, still had a couple of years left, but she was a pretty normal girl.

"Well, don’t worry, I have something that will cheer you up." I went to the bar and did everything I could. Coffee, whiskey, milk, cream and cinnamon. I returned to Berry's table after a while. "Here you are, a Lyrish Coffe."

"Thank you, Bourbon, you're a sweetheart." She replied with a smile. When it came to Berry Punch, it was easier to cheer her on being Bourbon Maverick the bartender than Bourbon Maverick the psychologist.

I suddenly heard the door and saw Discord entering in the pub.

"Excuse me Berry, I have customers to attend."

I went back to the bar to see Discord. I don’t know what it was that surprised me most, seeing him here so early, or that he wore a brown jacket with two different colored trousers. Fortunately, Rarity was not around to see such a crime on style.

"Well, well, look who comes back." I said sarcastically.

"Oh, I thought you'd be gladder to see me Bourbon," replied Discord sarcastically.

"Never mind, what can I get you?"

"I want a Lyrish Coffee, like the one you served to Berry Punch. "I did not bother asking how Discord knew about Berry, so I just nodded and went on to brew my quirky customer's beverage.

"Hello Discord, how goes it?" Asked Sunset who had just left the store. "Boss, there are still three barrels of Guinneighs."

"Well, I think that’s enough for the rest of the month. Thanks Sunset, I’m and glad to have you here." She answered me with a warm smile. But that did not prepare me for what came next.

Zephyr Breeze came in through the door, and from the snort that he released when he sat down on one of the bar stools, he would say he had problems.

"Bourbon, a pint of Guinneighs please," said Fluttershy's brother.

“Oh my! Zephyr, anyone would say you had a problem in the office. Have you not agreed who gives and who receives? " Discord's mockery did not seem funny to Zephyr.

"Ha ha ha, you are hilarious Discord, I don’t know how the Comedy Club does not hire you. " Zephyr replied annoyed.

"Zephyr, what's wrong with you? usually you do not usually get that dog mood." Said Sunset pointing out at the behavior of Fluttershy's brother.

"It's just... well, let's say I had a little problem..."

Zephyr was looking for his mobile phone home. Fearing the worst: that he had lost it.

"Maybe I left it in the pub..." He said out loud.

Suddenly the phone rang somewhere in the living room and Zephyr followed the sound. He found the cell phone on a table near the sofa. Without questioning how it got there, he simply picked it up.

"Welcome to your gay hotline." He said trying to mimic an answering machine. "If you get horny with the hairy ones, press 1, if you get horny with bodybuilders press 2, to hang... hang up." A voice was heard from the other side of the line, but it was not as Zephyr expected. “Pardon? Uh sorry miss, but this is only for men... ah so, you don’t care... well ok then." Zephyr changed his expression and looked visibly happy as he sat on the couch. "So… how have you behaved? Have you been a bad girl? Because if you were, I should have to whip you... I would like you to be here, to be able to touch your tits, and your thing... I'm sure that by your voice you have a good pair of melons... "

What Zephyr did not suspect is that behind him at a safe distance, was Fluttershy with a phone in his hand.

"Yes, I do, but they feel so lonely..." Fluttershy said, almost whispering and feeling dirty just for saying that.

"Oh really? Well, I would be at least half an hour with each one... working with them, I'm gonna give it to you, bitch ... " Fluttershy lowered the phone while watching his brother recreating himself as if he were the only person in the house, although he I thought so. "You don’t say anything anymore? The vicious has run out of words... come on, tell me something, tell me something bitch, tell me something..." Zephyr laughed under his breath until he received a direct response...

"Degenerate!" Yelled Fluttershy as his brother let go of the cell phone and almost fell off the couch trying to get up.

"Ah, Fluttershy? What are you doing here? Wait... sis... " Zephyr did not know where to go, so he only came up with a forward flight. "What where you doing calling hotlines? I really didn't expect this from you."

Zephyr tried to leave, but Fluttershy grabbed his arm, making it impossible for him to escape.

"Zephyr Breeze! How could you have fallen that low? " Fluttershy said more disappointed than angry. "What would mom and dad think? Do you really think this is the reason they bothered that we had an education? That you end up talking dirty to people by the phone?"

"Well... dirty... if you think a black kiss is dirty, then thank you and good night." Zephyr said to his sister trying to wriggle out. "Come on sis, that's the first serious job I have in my life..." Zephyr sat back down on the couch.

"This is what you call serious job?" Fluttershy sat down next to her brother and touched her hand. "Zephyr, you're worth a lot, you could go a long way... why are you doing this?"

"Well, for money. And I’m not bad at it you know? I could even move, there is a guy who wants to get me an apartment right next to his ministry." Fluttershy’s face was a poem. The pink haired girl stood up suddenly.

"What!? Look, I don’t care about money, like if you get paid millions. Either you leave that job, or I tell Mom about this." Fluttershy retired and left her parents' house, leaving her brother with many doubts.

"My gosh, Fluttershy really looked pissed, but I could not imagine she was that much." I said just to realize how long my tongue was.

"Oh, so you knew it."

"We all knew it, Zephyr, you left your cell phone at the bar and they called, Fluttershy picked it up and you can imagine the rest." Discord explained.

"Seriously Zephyr, what did you expect was going to happen?" Sunset asked as she poured the beer to Zephyr.

"I don’t know... I expected to keep it a secret." Zephyr gulped down his beer. "Now I'm going to have to give it up. Hey Bourbon, do you know how much unemployment benefit you can get for two days of work?"

With that question Discord just laughed and I headed to another customer who asked me for a beer.

After thinking about it for a while Zephyr decided not to leave the job. His argument was that he was too well paid to let his sister get in the way, so he decided to hide it. I kept wanting to tell him that if it didn’t work for him the first time, the next one could hardly work, but hey, that's his problem, not mine.

With what I did not count on was the person who suddenly appeared and sat down in front of the bar almost automatically.

"Big Mac?" I asked surprised to see my friend and roommate back. "Aren't you supposed to stay out all weekend?"

"Eeyup." He replied as laconically as usual.

"So, what are you doing here?"

"It's hard to explain." He avoided eye contact, his voice was muffled, and his shoulders were drooping... Definitely, Big Macintosh got some very bad news.

"Come on, big guy, I'm sure it's not a big deal." Discord mentioned, trying to detract from the matter.

"Yeah, come on Big Mac, you can tell us," Zephyr said.

"Really?" Mac looked like he was going to start talking, but then he closed again in band. "Ah don’t know, is that... Ah don’t know how to explain it"

Big Mac ducked his head hitting the forehead to the bar. Without him noticing, Zephyr's phone rang, and he picked up.

"Tell me, I'm listening ..." Zephyr said on the phone, however, Big Mac thought he was telling him...

"Sugar Belle has broken up with me, what am I going to do now?" Before that revelation, Discord and I were stunned without knowing what to say. Unfortunately, the one who did say something was Zephyr, although it had nothing to do with our conversation.

"Well, you can think of me naked and rub your dick slowly..." I facepalmed after witnessing such a bum and Big Mac lifted his face from the bar just to look at Zephyr indignantly.

"Zephyr, what the fuck, man!" He shouted.

Zephyr Breeze told Big Mac to shut up while talking on the phone and continued despite the indignant expression that the eldest of the Apple brothers had. "Oh yes, there, there, yes, YES! Shh, your time is over, thanks for your call... "After a really bad impression of an answering machine, Zephyr went back to the Macintosh. "Let's see, I'm losing money, what did you say Big Mac?"

"Zephyr, shut the fuck up!" I snapped at this nonsense. "Mac, what do you mean Sugar Belle has broken up with you?"

"Ah don’t know, Ah went to see her as Ah told y’all, things were not good lately, and today she started to say things like ‘Big Mac, it’s not you, it’s me? What the hell does it means!? Or ‘I’ll never be able to find someone like you’; if that’s true why are you breaking up with me? Or ‘Life will bring us together again’ Then don’t leave me right now..." Something doesn’t feel right to me.

"Just like that?" Discord asked.

"Eeyup."

"Big Mac buddy, I hate being that direct, but I think that’s bullshit..." I said.

“Bullshit?”

“Bullshit.” I replied again.

“Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit… I love that word.” Said Discord out of nowhere. “Seriously, if someday I have a daughter, I’ll call her like that.”

“My gosh… I feel sorry for your child’s future mother.” I said.

"No, it can’t be. There has to be something else." Big Mac said. Deep down I could see we all thought the same thing, but Big Mac was entering in the phase of denial.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Asked Sunset Shimmer leaving the tray in the bar.

"Big Macintosh’s girl broke up with him, and he doesn’t know why." Discord explained.

"Oh wow, I'm sorry Big Mac, didn’t she tell you her reasons?" Asked Sunset.

"Nope."

"Well, you have to demand answers," said Sunset.

"You see Sunset, I don't think it's that simple..." I tried to get into the conversation, but the girl with fiery hair cut me off.

"You have to be more assertive. Ask Sugar Belle directly why she left you and if there is a possibility to fix it ... come on, you can’t let your relationship end like this."

"Eeeyup." Big Mac stood up. "Ah'm going to see Sugar Belle and ask her for explanations. And Ah’ll not leave until Ah'm convinced."

We encouraged Big Mac, but once he left the pub, we looked at each other as if we had started a bomb.

"Sunset, do you really think Big Mac is doing the right thing?" I asked.

"I bet 20 bucks that Sugar Belle has a lover," said Discord.

"I'll bet 20 that she doesn’t." Zephyr said.

"Well, I don’t think so," said Sunset. "I bet 20 dollars that Sugar Belle was just stressed and, in the end reconciled."

"Are you seriously betting on that?" I asked almost without believing what I saw... Although... "I bet 30 bucks for the lover."

The afternoon continued quiet, and I was even glad when I received a visit from Lyra. We could talk about our things taking a couple of pints of Guinneighs. It turns out that she and Sweetie Drops also lived in my block.

A man came in and greeted Zephyr Breeze. He came over and handed him a new cell phone. I deduced at that moment that it was Zephyr’s boss.

"Zephyr, here's your new phone, with this you can make videocalls, so I hope you have wigs." Zephyr's boss said after handing him his cell phone.

"Thank you very much, could you leave now? Is that my sister usually comes a lot here and I would not like her to tell my parents that I work in this."

"Oh, you live with your parents. Damn, you remind me of me when I started this, and now look at me, with two chalets and my mother's ashes in a Ming vase." What the hell? But, how much does this guy make?

"Seriously? Because all I get out of all this is a heat and a crisis of sexual identity that you can’t imagine. " Zephyr said.

"You have much left to learn Zephyr Breeze, I could give you a couple of tips and you'll enrich yourself."

"Awesome! Bourbon, bring my boss a beer, we’ve got a lot to talk about."

Zephyr and his boss chatted for a while about the work while they drank some beers. Several techniques for the client to remain stuck on the phone. To me this kind of things have always seemed like a scam and I was not able to understand how someone was able to leave the money in it.

"And always remember that, in this business, a stuttering customer is a VIP customer." Said the boss. "I'm going to the toilet for a second." Zephyr's boss withdrew and he seemed quite animated.

"Yay! This is gonna be awesome." Zephyr said confidently.

"And don’t you think your sister could end up catching you?" I went back to the problem with Fluttershy.

"Come on, Bourbon, unless you say something, she doesn’t have to know anything, how is she going to find out?"

"I don’t know, try to ask her." I said as I watched Fluttershy enter in the pub with Rainbow Dash before Zephyr's astonished gaze.

"Flutters! What are you doing here?" Zephyr asked nervously.

"Well, we wanted to drink something, and this is the closest pub to home. Zephyr, you're acting weird "said Fluttershy.

"You say more than usual?" Rainbow Dash asked sarcastically.

"How funny you are Rainbows, if you wanted a date with me you didn’t need to bring my sister with you." Rainbow looked annoyed and went to a table waiting to be served by Sunset. The truth is that as far as I remembered Zephyr had always tried to link to Dash, with pathetic results... I think some things will never change.

"Zephyr, tell me one thing, have you really quit your job?" Fluttershy began to question her brother. "You won’t be lying to me, right?"

I didn’t know what kind of excuse Zephyr would invent, he just ran one hand over his sister's shoulders and while he spoke, he gestured with his other hand.

"No sis, I called them and said, ‘You are degenerates and perverts.’ If I even told them to get their work in the ass, although maybe for these people that would be a compliment..." Unfortunately, I couldn’t warn to Zephyr that his boss had already left the toilet and stood behind him listening to absolutely everything he said. Lyra meanwhile was laughing softly muttering something to Discord.

"Well, I'm going with Rainbow Dash, Bourbon, can you give me a soda when you can? Please." I raised my thumb and went for the soda, but before, I could delight with Zephyr, who turned around and almost jump out of shock when he saw his boss behind.

"I had to tell you to come with me for the mobile phone charger, it will be better if you give it back to me."

"But... without a phone I can’t work," Zephyr said almost whispering in his ear and pulling the phone out of his pants pocket.

"Wonderful, you get that straight. And save the jokes…" The boss took the phone from Zephyr's hands and walked out the door without saying anything despite Zeph's pleas.

"Fuck, it looks like someone jinxed me!" He said sitting down at the bar again. "Fired right now, when I only needed twenty-eight days to collect my first salary."

"Holy shit Zephyr, I could write a book with you: How to screw it up in less than three days." Discord said while the others laughed, and Zephyr made a face of displeasure.

I went to Fluttershy's table with the soda and chatted for a while with her and with Rainbow Dash. It turns out that she is now living in my same block with Scootaloo, that girl that was so close to Applejack’s sister, Applebloom, and Rarity’s, Sweetie Belle; and who always considered Dash as the older sister she never had.

The door rang and Big Mac appeared... This time it did not seem sad or confused, but angry... I mean, really pissed off...

"Big Mac, what happened?" I asked approaching him.

"Sugar Belle is with another... SHE’S WITH ANOTHER!" That scream was heard throughout the bar.

"How did you say?" Sunset Shimmer asked.

"Ah went to ask her for explanations as y’all said, and Ah found her with a motherfucker from her town sucking cider from her tit, Sweet Apple Acres’ cider, the same that I sold to him!"

"Uh kinky, I love that," Lyra said suddenly catching our attention for a second and creating an uncomfortable silence.

"Let’s pretend that nothing happened." Discord said and with his hand indicated Big Mac to continue.

"The worst thing is that it comes from long ago, and I, like an imbecile, gave that bastard a discount because he bought me a lot o’ cider." Poor Big Mac. Looks like It never rains but it pours for him.

"Really? Dammit!” Zephyr suddenly said giving himself a slap of frustration in the leg. "Now I have to pay these two 20 bucks..." Zephyr got up from the stool and went to Fluttershy. "Hey sis, can you lend me 20 dollars? "

Luckily Big Mac seemed to ignore the fact of our little bet.

"Ah can’t believe it..." Definitely the oldest of the Apple brothers was really fucked up. "How could she do this to me?"

At that moment, I did the only thing the only thing that crossed my mind, I pat my friend on the back. I recognized it, for being a psychologist, I'm very bad at cheering up people.

"Come on Big Mac, I know what we're going to do. We’re going to go to my apartment, and you’ll finish installing yourself, and tomorrow you’ll take charge of the store and place you thoughts in order."

"Eeyup." He said.

"Perfect! Sunset, take care of the pub while I'm out please." I said to Sunset.

"Sure boss, see you later."

Big Mac and I went to my apartment. The good thing about having the job so close to home is that you have to be very dizzy to be late, although in the end that didn’t matter to me since one of the advantages of having a business is that you are your own boss.

My house was on the 5th floor, and while we were going up, I was explaining to Big Mac the neighbors we had. Lyra and Bon Bon lived in the first, as well as Berry Punch, their daughters Piña and Ruby, and Berry’s sister Cherry. In the second floor, Rainbow Dash lived with Scootaloo, and in another apartment Fluttershy lived alone with a bunny named angel. Finally, it is nice to know that as neighbors on the same floor we had Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle that shared an apartment not in. There were more neighbours but I didn't want to loose time by now.

We entered my apartment, nothing out of the ordinary; two rooms, kitchen, living room and dining room in the same space, and the bathroom.

Big Mac sat on the couch, or should I say that he let himself fall into it. He did not seem to be willing to talk much, so I simply indicated his room and left back to the bar.

This way of acting was quite normal in these cases. When Big Mac is willing to talk, he will speak.

The next day there was not much news, Big Mac went to the store and I saw something livelier, or so it seemed. At the bar, Zephyr was having a coffee, which he had miraculously paid for with his money.

"Tell me Zephyr, are you already recovering from the erotic line?" I asked

"Yes, the truth is that it was a nice job, but it didn’t compensate me to have Fluttershy all day attached to me."

"If that's who's thinking... Zephyr you're already an age," Sunset Shimmer said as she cleaned a pint glass.

"Hey, that was serious, but it doesn’t matter, this has served as an experience and I am now with my own business..." wait a minute, what?

"Zephyr, what business are you talking about?" I asked with some fear of the answer.

Zephyr’s phone rang and pointed out Sunset and me that we were attentive as he picked up.

"Tarot of love, tell me." You can’t be serious... the only thing I managed to do was facepalmed again. "Yes, let me guess, you have love problems..." While watching at that circus, I was asking myself, are there really so many people who believe this bullshit?

"Eeyup." They answered on the other line, no, tell me not please... "Mah girlfriend cheating on me and broke up with me. The truth is that Ah’m destroyed."

Sunset and I looked at each other, worried about how low Big Macintosh was falling.

"Let's see the cards to see what they say." Bullshit cards… Zephyr simply picked up his coffee cup and gulped. "The queen of hearts tells me there is infidelity, and... the king of clubs tells me that you are very bad."

"Eeyup... well this tells me that you’re fucking lying... this is one of those lines that charge you and leave you waiting Ah’m o’ right?" Looks like he hit the spot. Zephyr became nervous and came out with the first thing his crazy brain came up with.

"One moment please, don’t hang up..." Without warning Zephyr began to hum Bethoveen's Für Elise.

I was really wishing to split Zephyr’s head off and end with his bullshit, but Big Mac needed me more, so I took off my black apron and left the bar.

"Sunset, watch the pub please, I have to go to Big Mac’s store and avoid him to spend all of his money."

I headed towards the store. This was definitely going to be really hard...