Kinky Time T.V.

“WHAT IN TARTARUS DID YOU DO!?” Twilight shouts. I wince at the volume and chuckle.

“It wasn’t my fault… Luna started it!” She looks at Luna, who snores softly.

Twilight groans and looks back at Cadence. “I’m so sorry you had to see that, Cadence.”

Cadence was wearing a multi-colored dress and a small, gem-encrusted tiara. She had E-cup breasts that barely fit in her dress, and I could guess her hips were around the same width as Twilights, possibly slightly bigger.

She eyes me up with a grin. I pull Chrysalis’ head into my crotch, my cock stuffed down her throat, so Cadence can’t see it.

“Quit staring….You’re a married mare!” I shout. Cadence looks confused.

“Um, I beg your pardon? No, I am not.” I stare at her like she’s dumb.

“What happened with Shining Armor?”

“Twilight’s brother? He’s been married to one of the lieutenants in his battalion. I’m still very single.” She winks.

“Huh….Another difference.” I pat Chrysalis’ head and she pulls away, licking her lips. I put my clothes on. “So, uh...what brings you here?”

“Twilight tells me that you’ve become part changeling after being infused with thaumoplasm from her.” She gestures to Chrysalis, who was getting dressed.

“Well, I guess so.” She walks right up to me and leans really close to my face.

“His eyes don’t seem like a changeling’s.” She says.

“I think it’s induced by love or love-filled activities.”

Cadence hums in thought before making her horn glow. Out of nowhere, I start to see huge waves of pink mist erupting from her horn. I drool from the intoxicatingly sweet smell.

“I see what you mean, Twilight. His eyes just changed.” The mist stops suddenly, and I shake the weird feeling out of my head.

“Does Celestia know?” Cadence asks.

“I sent her a letter, and she’s seen. But she asked me to call you.” Twilight replies.

Cadence holds a lock of my hair. “Hmm...His hair looks like Luna’s. Whose thaumoplasm is his blood made of?”

“Luna’s, Chrysalis’, and mine.” Twilight replies.

Cadence looks back at her quizzingly. “Really? Are you sure that’s it?”

I look over to Twilight, who looks a bit nervous now.

“W-Well, um…”

“Twilight, what’s in my veins right now?!” I ask angrily.

“Okay! S-so I might’ve gotten some of added a little of Starswirl the Bearded’s thaumoplasm, too…”

Candece looks at her in shock. “You….you added his thaumoplasm to his body without consulting us?! There’s only ten ounces of that left! Twilight, what were you thinking?!”

“I-I-I thought it would be a good idea to have some of his knowledge implemented! There’s a theory that it copies mental impulse! And it’s clearly true! Cross’ magic is grey!”

Cadence looks back at me, equally shocked. “It is? Show me.”

I levitate a random book, a grey aura engulfing my horn and the book. Cadence looks stunned.

“How...did you manage to bond thaumoplasm into his blood? It’s not possible to bond with our blood!”

“Well, his blood cells seemed to be very receptive to energy, so I tried bonding mine to his cells, and it bonded perfectly. So, I did the rest of the thaumoplasm with the small batch, and the cells replicated until it had as many cells as our blood.”

“That’s fascinating….And the only side effects seem to be partial personality diversity…”

“Excuse me, what? I do not have Multiple personalities.” I butt in.

“No, but you have multiple traits in your brain that aren’t yours.” Twi says plainly.

“Thaumoplasm cannot directly copy memories from the once creator of the fluid, but certain personality traits and quirks have been recorded in mice tested. Aaand, where did that come from?” I ask after a long, out of nowhere speech.

Cadence stares at me in shock.

“Uh, that was Starswirl the Bearded’s Theory of Thaumoplasm Volume 1. He has my photographic memory.” Twilight says plainly.

Cadence clicks her tongue in thought before smirking.

“You said he has some of Luna’s thaumoplasm in him, right?” Twilight nods.

Cadence’s horn lights up, and a bolt of electricity fires out, hitting me square in the chest. I wince hard, thinking I was dead. When I find myself very alive, I open my eyes. Cadence was smirking, and Twilight was staring at me in awe.

“What?” I see movement in my peripherals and look, seeing my hair and tail moving on their own, the white flecks twinkling. Now that I think about it, I didn’t even feel the strike.

My hair stops floating and I look back at Cadence.

“Luna’s body is immune to weather hazards. And looks like you got that from her.” She holds up a mirror to me, and I see my eyes shift from deep blue to purple.

“That’s…..you knew I could survive that, right? Right?!”

Cadence giggles. “Well, You two have fun. I’m going back home to read up on changelings.” She vanishes.

“Whelp, this is too much OP character bullshit. I’m gonna go get plastered. Don’t follow me.” I walk right out of the library and down the stairs.

I wander through the town, kicking little stones as I think. I eventually get to the edge if town, where I find a bar that was never in the show called the Heartthrob.

“Huh. Surprised ponies aren’t all just boringly sober all the time.” I head inside the neon-surrounded doorway and down a dim set of stairs. As I walk through a set of purple felt curtains, soft jazz is playing in the background by several ponies on the stage. The bar was fairly empty, save for a few of what looks like Canterlot guards and a familiar pink gumball pony.

“Pinkie? The fuck are you doing down here?” She gasps and hugs me tightly before I can react.

“Crossie! It’s nice to see you! I gotta relax sometimes, ya know! Come on, have a drink with me!” I shrug and sit next to her at a barstool.

“So, uh...You drink. That’s uh...a bit odd.”

“I know you’re used to the kid-friendly me, but I gotta unwind sometime.”

“Uh, how did…”

“Ah, drinks! These are Griffon Fireballs! Here, have one!” She slides a little glass over. The drink was in a small, glass cup. It was a deep amber with a strong smell of smoke. I shrug and take a sip, instantly being hit with a coughing fit.

“What the fuck is in this?”

“Hey, no swearing! And it’s whiskey infused with a fire elixir! It’s awesome!” She downs the whole glass and burps a ball of fire.

“Is...is that safe?” She giggles and punches my upper arm.

“Come on! It’s fine!” I sigh and down the whole thing, a stream of fire billowing out of my mouth. Pinkie giggles.

I blink a few times, my head already swimming a little.

“Jesus, this is strong stuff….I’m already buzzed….”

Pinkie waves the bartender down, and he slides over two steins of beer. She takes one and smiles brightly. I take the other. We clink glasses and start chugging.

She sighs and sets the now empty stein down after only four seconds. I finish mine ten seconds later and cough.

“How did you do that?!”

“No telling! Hehehe. Refill!”

We spend a few hours drinking until we were both plastered, and she talks me into singing karaoke on stage, even though I had no idea what the words were to the songs. We go through town after that, tping houses all over, giggling all the way.

I think I’m gonna like it here.