When I open my eyes the next morning, I’m met with an extremely close face of a familiar, bubbly personality I could never miss: Pinkie Pie. I yelp and fall out of the tree, landing on my front. “Ow….”

“Oopsie! Are you okay? I didn’t scare you, did I? I didn’t mean to! Are you new? What’s that thingy on your back? How come I’ve never seen you before? What’s your favorite cake? Do you like parties? Do-”

“Easy! Jeez, mile a minute….Firstly, I’m Sam.” Fuck it. It’s too late now. If this universe implodes, let it. “Secondly, you’re actually pink….”

“Well, duh! I’m Pinkie Pie! I gotta be pink!”

“But, people aren’t pink….and SWEET JESUS, WHERE ARE YOUR FEET?!”

“Feet? I have hooves, silly! Not feet! Ooh, but you have feet! Neat! Haha, I rhymed!”

“Where the fuck am I….?”

“Huh? You’re in the Everfree Forest! Don’tcha know that?”

“Well, I mean…”

She lets out a loud gasp. “Are you new in town?! Ooh, I get to throw a welcome party!”

“Please don’t….I’m not an avid party person….”

“You...don’t like parties?”

“Well, I do...But-”

“Yay! Party!!!” She zips off.

“Shit….” I get up and dust myself off for the second time today before heading back to the clearing. I sit in the middle of the grass and think. Should I go into town? Is she one of those anthro things I see people making fanfictions about? Is this a fanfiction?! Oh, God I’m a poorly written protagonist!! Shhh, calm down….You’ll be fine, Sam. Yeah….if the Universe was going to end itself, it would have already. And I can’t stay out here. I need to get materials and fast. And I need….Oooh, shit….I need help. Isn’t there a mare here that knows about humans? Wasn’t that a joke thing in the series, or more fanfiction? Fuck it, it’s a fair start.

I stand and head towards the parting of the trees, which leads to Fluttershy’s cottage and….Ponyville. Those are some bright colors. My retinas are burning….

I walk through town, keeping my eyes glued to my feet as to avoid awkward eye contact with literally everyone who’s staring at me. “Just keep walking….You know where the bench is….Just keep walking….”

“LOOK OOOOUT!” I hear another familiar voice shout before I get slammed in the chest by something fast and very blue, which sends me flying at mach speeds into a wall. “Ooow…...Oh, Celestia, are you okay dude? Uh….You are a dude, right?”

I hold up a finger to pause her before getting to my feet. That should’ve killed me….but I’m fine.

“Yeah. I’m a dude. And I’m fine.”

“Sorry about that….I’m-”

“Rainbow Dash, I know.” My eyes are still glued to my feet. This is really awkward.

“Really? You know me?”

“Yeah….You’re kinda famous from where I come from.”

“I am?! Where?”

“It’s uh...it’s pretty far from here.”

“Try me. I can fly anywhere in no time!”

“Uh...New Jersey.”

“New what? I’ve never heard of there.”

“Anyway, is Lyra around? Anywhere in town?”

“Yeah, she’s in the Park with Bon Bon. What did you say your name was again?”

“Sam…..Doctor Sam Cross.”

“Huh. Well Doc, see ya around.” I hear wings flap and she’s gone. I hastily make my way to the park and look around for the bench. I only then notice that not only does everyone stand on two whooves, they also have muzzles. “Good God, this is bizarre.” I spot the bench, but no Lyra. Crap. Alright, well I only have one other option: Twilight. This is going to be bad. I can feel it.

I make my way to the massive, crystalline structure that is Friendship Castle and knock on the door. “Just keep calm….It’s just Twilight. It’s not like you’ve had a weird crush on her for the last few years…….I’m fucked.” The door slowly opens to a little familiar dragon. “Oh, uh...Hey. Are you here to see Twilight?”

“Yeah. You’re uh….Spike, right?” His chest puffs out with pride.

“The one and only!”

“Good. Great job saving the Empire. But the Jedi cannot allow it.”

“The what?”

“Nothing. Can i see her?”

“Uuh...I guess so.” He opens the door and I head inside. It’s positively massive, and a little cold.

“So, uh...what are you? If you don’t mind me asking.” Spike asks bashfully.

“It’s fine. I’m human. But not the kind you’ve seen, I gather.”

“Well, yeah. Your skin’s a weird color, and you almost look...dull. Not dumb, but like you haven’t been outside in a while.”

“Yeah. I haven’t.”

He opens up a set of double doors and walks up to a familiar hairdo in a hair facing away from me. “Twilight, this guy Sam is here to see you. He says he’s a human.” I instantly get a face full of Twilight as she teleports right in my face. “You’re human?! How did you get here!? There’s no way you can be here! You didn’t come from here or you’d have hooves and a muzzle like us!”

“Well, you see….”

“Where did you come from? How did you get here? Why is your hair so long? Are you male or female? No, you’ve got a goatee, so you’re male. Why do you look so pale?”

“Easy! Twilight, you sound like Pinkie Pie for fuck’s sake!”

“For what’s sake?”

“Nevermind. Just…..” I sigh. “I’m Doctor Samuel Cross from New Jersey. And I…..I need your help to get home.”

“New Jersey? I’ve-”

“Never heard of it, I know. I think….I think my home is in another dimension.”

That got her attention. She instantly started baraging me with so many questions that I couldn’t make any of them out.

“TWILIGHT!” She instantly stopped as I shouted.

“Thank you. Now, look, I know this must be a lot to take in, but I need you to focus. Is there a way I could use your lab for a while? The things I need to make to grt home are very delicate and require a lot of focus to make. And It’ll probably take me a long time to make...Probably years….”

“Wait, are you a scientist? Or a Doctor?”

“Well, I’m a scientist. But I got two doctorates. Degrees of education.”

She beams happily. “Finally, another pony I can talk to in my language!”

“Uh, human…”

“Right. Well, you can use my lab as much as you need! But, in return, I wanna know about your world.”

“Alright. It’s a deal then.”

“First question: What’s that thing on your back?”

“Oh, uh...It’s my life’s work. It’s basically a paperweight right now...But this thing brought me here. The only problem is that it works through a device you don’t have here: A television. So, I have to either invent a television that shows my home, which is impossible, or a way to open a rift to my home. Either way, it’ll be hard.”

“What do you call it?”

“The Holopoint.”

“That’s kind of a dumb name….”

“I know, It’s still a working name.”

“Well, could I study it?”

“Uh, no. It’s extremely delicate. If you tweak one single piece of it, I’d be stranded here forever.”

“Oh….Alright. Well, follow me to our lab!” She beams proudly as she heads to her basement and opens her lab door. “Hey, did you ever figure out how Pinkie’s Sense worked?”

“How did you know about that?”

“Uuh...Pinkie told me?”

“Oh. Well, no. It’s just Pinkie being Pinkie. Anyway, this lab is your lab as much as mine.”

“Perfect. Well, I think I need a break from science for a couple days. I’m completely exhausted. I spent ten years perfecting the Holopoint.”

“Wow...How old are you?”

“I’m 28.”

“Wait, how in Celestia’s name do you have 2 doctorates and be working on that for ten years? You’d only be 18 when you started all that.”

“Yeah….and?”

“And?! You’d barely be out of high school!”

“I know. I’m smarter than I look, Twilight.”

“You’re like me! We’re gonna have a great time! Do you need a place to sleep now?”

“Uuh….I usually sleep during my work in my lab…..but yeah, I guess I do now.”

“I have a spare room in the tower if you want.”

“Wait, tower? What tower?”

“Oh, I added a tower last summer.”

“Huh. Okay. Well, thanks. I don’t really have a change of clothes….or luggage of any kind….or shoes…”

“Shoes? Why don’t you have shoes?”

“Because shoes are the spawn of Satan!”

“Who?”

“Uh, nevermind. I just hate them.”

“Oh. Well, why don’t we go to-”

“Carousel Boutique, right?”

“Yeah….Did you see it on the way here?”

“No. I just heard of it.”

“Wow. From another dimension? How?”

“Later. First, I guess we go see Rarity.”

We walk down the way to the carnival-esque clothes parlor owned by the one pony I hoped never to see here. I don’t mind her, but every time she talks is like grating forks on my eardrums. But, maybe she won’t be as bad here.

Twilight knocks on the door, and seconds later, Rarity opens it. “Ah, Twilight! How lovely to see you, Darling!”

“Hi, Rarity!” They hug and smile at each other. “And who’s this you’ve brought with you? Finally found a….wait, you’re human? From that other world? How is he here?”

“Well, basically, he isn’t from there either. He’s from another dimension entirely where you and your shop are apparently known.”

Rarity nearly faints when she hears that. “I-I’m famous in another dimension? Oh, my stars! How shocking!”

“Yes, Rarity, it is. And our friend Sam here needs some clothes, since he came here without any. Do you think you could make him a few sets?”

“I’d be delighted! A challenge if I’ve ever seen one!”

“Thanks. But can the clothes not be super flashy? I don’t really like standing out much…”

“Well, with your current complection and that doodad on your back, you stand out anyway. But, a request from a client I can never ignore, so i shall. Please, come in.”

We all walk inside, and Rarity stands me on a podium, where she uses her magic to take my measurements. “Wow….It’s still startling to see working magic….In my dimension, it’s all fake to entertain kids.”

“Really? How ghastly. Darling, what do the, ah...people? In your universe think of me?”

“Well, uh….I know people that write books and stories about you, all of you. And I’ve seen people wearing your dresses to parties. Well, recreations of your dresses.”

“Really? How flattering.” I take this time of idle chat to look over Twilight and Rarity. Twilight was wearing a black, knee-length skirt and a white blouse that for some reason really suited her. She had that sexy librarian look to her, and for whatever reason, the cruel God that sent me here made her curvy, too. Perfect hourglass figure. She was even wearing short heeled shoes.

Rarity, on the other hand, was slightly more top-heavy, to put it bluntly, and wore a long, flowing purple dress and a giant gem on a necklace. Why the fuck did the God of this universe make them have tits and asses?!

“Are you alright, Sam? You seem a bit shaken.”

“Oh, no. Just fine. Thinking…”

“Sam, what do you know about us? All of us, not just The Elements.”

“Well, almost everything.”

Rarity gasps. “How can you know about us like that?!”

“Uh….I don’t know.” I lie. I’d rather not tell them about their entire existence existing purely for children and adult entertainment. It might cause some issues.

“For example, I know about Lord Tirek, Discord, Nightmare Moon, Dawnbreaker, and Chrysalis, just to name a few. I know about Twilight’s obsessive behavior with Celestia, and Rarity’s subtle addiction to Ice Cream.”

“WHO TOLD YOU?!” Rarity squeaks.

“As I said. I don’t know. But I know quite a bit.”

“You….really think I’m obsessed with Princess Celestia?”

“Well, you do feel obligated to bend to her every whim, and fear she’ll hate you if you fail even slightly. So yes. I do. I have a Master’s in psychology, too.”

“What about Spike?”

“What about him?”

“What do you know about him?”

“I know he can be very possessive of objects, and of Rarity, of whom he has an intense crush on. I know you both baby him, even though he’s your age. And I have a working theory about why he’s still small when he should be around my height of six foot four.”

“Well, that’s all true, and no idea about your theory. Does your universe know why Pinkie Sense is?”

“Nope. We believe the same things about it as you do.”

“Huh.”

“All finished!” Rarity beams. “I should have some clothes done by tomorrow, so you can pick them up then.”

“Wow, really? Thanks, Rarity. Just don’t go pushing yourself too hard. We both know what happens if you do.” She puffs her cheeks out and blushes. I chuckle and hop down.

“It’s amazing. This is my first time being around anyone other than my lab assistant, and I’m not freaking out.”

“Why would you?”

“I don’t do well in social situations. I have severe social anxiety.”

“Oh….” Twilight quickly teleports off. “Uh...What was that about?”

Rarity just shrugs. I shrug back and wave to her as I go back to the castle. I manage to get halfway before I feel a sharp pain in my spine. “Gah! Damn it….What was that?” I feel my back from my tailbone up, and I notice that I have one more vertebrae than I had two days ago. “How….is this possible…..I need to get to the lab.” I make a mad dash to the castle and sprinted through the entryway, slamming right into two soft, yellow pillows. I get knocked over on top of them, and I hear a squeak. “Oh...shit.” I scramble to my feet. I ran into Shy, who’s very top heavy, and is clad in a sundress with gold flowers. I quickly help her up. “I’m really sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“It’s fine….” She seems to be looking down at her chest than in my eyes. And I’m looking at her hair. “Uh...Excuse me, Fluttershy.” I go past her and down to the lab. “Twilight! Get down here! I need help!” With a pop, she appears. “What’s going on? You ran right through your party.”

“Not now. Do you have a way to X-ray me?”

“Yeah, why..?”

“Look at my spine. How many vertebrae do I have?”

“Uh...hold on.” Her horn glows and I feel a warmth on my back.

“You have 34. Why?”

“I should only have 33….”

“Well, we ponies have 40….You seem worried.”

“I am….I think…..I think I’m changing into one of you.”

Author's Note

I'm gonna try to write a bunch of chapters, then release them all at once. Plz gimme feedback!