A Series Of Unfortunate Eventual One-Shots

"Do ya'll think I need to get back and just do my chores real quick?"

"Oh. My. God..." Discord rolled over plugging his ears with tiny apples.

"Whut?" Applejack shot back, a little hurt.

"You. Have been chattering. Endlessly... about your chores for the past forty minutes. We are suspended in dis-reality, do you really think it even matters what an apple is - let alone when you 'buck' it ...In this place? In my realm?? We're outside of time, so please for the love of whatever deity is canon, take a break. I'm trying to sleep."

"..."

"Oh, what now?" Discord sharply turns to Applejack, but he softens when he sees a tear drip past a light frown.

"I was... just trying to be honest. I'm sorry." Crossing her arms, she attempts a brave expression but her tears grow liberal and she has to wipe them away.

"Oh...Applejack..." Discord runs an affectionate talon through her lofty, messy locks. "Being honest doesn't mean you have something of value to say." He claps, and the lights go out.

Applejack claps and the lights go up. She sniffles and gets out of the bed. "Eye haven't uh-.... fluffed mah pillow,... hold on..." She takes her pillow, which is apple-shaped, to the bathroom and shuts the door behind her.

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Discord claps and the lights go off.

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Discord claps again and the lights come up.

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"You make me sick, you heathen."

"Not listening-"

"How could you make Applejack cry like that? Don't you have any manners, dingus supreme??" Discord shoots at Discord, with distate. Discord scoffs at that, but Discord continues anyway. "You just showed that little simpleton what is what like to experience Nirvana, did you honestly expect her to shut up after showing her a deeper understanding of reality? Shameful, I must say-"

"Oohhhh, what do you know? You're also the version of me who believes in a flat reality-"

"Go make her happy again, you old scrooge! I'm not going to tell you again. You brought her here! Be the hostess with the most "Ess." Old Boy, and for the last time there is strong evidence. " Discord scoffs at Discord, and Discord poofs away with a flamboyant snap leaving Discord alone with his thoughts.

He taps a paw and talon together as he shamefully strides to the bathroom door. He adjusts his eyes a bit, breathes on them, and wipes them with his fur. Finally and with reticence, he knocks.

The door limply swings open and he immediately frowns. "You're working in here?!"

"I was just deciding which orchards to do first when I-Guh!" Applejack panicked-ly stammers. She throws the apple-shaped pillow over her work, sending tissues everywhere. "No! They were all arranged by-Ohhh horsefeathers! I think Twi, may be rubbin off on me.."

She had placed tissues in four squares and were sorting which orchard had the highest bucking priority by having the most tissues stacked in their respective quadrants.

Her labor was for naught, Discord prattles as he swishes them about in a hissy fit.

"Unbelievable! You're still thinking about work??" Discord snaps and all the tissues disappear but one, which he examines in his talon. "What is this?"0

"Oh, that one, that's just a heart." Applejack makes a face and picks up her pillow, blushing a bit.

"Oh." Feeling a bit ashamed, Discord silently folds the heart and tucks it away into an adjacent reality. "I'm-"

"No hard feelings, I'm all right, honest I am. I'm still right glad I came over. Delighted, ackshlly."

Discord pokes her nose and frowns in an apologetic manner. "Big mouths are smart mouths, I should know, I'm smarter than your whole species combined." Discord pops a flower into existence and tenderly extends it to Applejack. She grins and accepts it.

"Shucks, thanks, I think."

"Thank you. Shall we go to bed?"

"Yeah.." She adjusts a stray hair as she bashfully adds. "Also I, - also I thought you were gonna be you know... more uh...lovin -ahem-"

Grasping her little apple pillow to her heart she continues with a sudden light in her eye. "Eye mean, I ain't never felt anything like that in my whole life! Nothing ever felt so, just darn good and uh...And it was just the...well it was darndest thing is what it was, I mean I didn't think a pony like me could...- Well, anyway it was grand. Uhhh, just uh...just... ...thought I'd let ya'll know bout' how I felt, is all. Also, I got a gut feeling that... That I should just go home and do mah nightly chores real quick-"

Discord snaps. "They're done." He says, now dressed in overalls.

"You mean the-"

"Bucked, sorry." He kicks a convenient tree.

"-and the-"

"Tucked away, fast asleep, she'll get a B-minus from Cherilee in the morning." He eases into her, hooking his digits underneath his suspenders. "I tried to help her, but she wouldn't listen to my advice."

"What about the-"

"Graded, from most to least likely to crack." An interrogation lamp swings and reveals a row of jars and a policeman Discord.

Applejack chuckles brightly as she fiddles with a button on Discord's over-the-top overalls. "Well, uh...thanks. Mighty sweet o' you... Well...I guess that means I'm hitched up for the long haul!" She says, beaming as she climbs into bed and flops down trying to get comfortable.

Discord looks over with utter disgust. "Oh crap-"

"Whut?" She fluffs her pillow one last time before resting gently on her side to shrug at Discord.

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Discord claps and the lights go on.

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Applejack immediately finds herself in a wickedly passionate embrace and her breath escapes her for a moment. "You really are special, aren't you?" He seductively hisses into her ear.

A tiny moan escapes her lips as she replies. "Well you made your bed pardner, now sleep in it."

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She claps and the lights go off.

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Discord chuckles as he nuzzles her affectionately.

"By the way did ya'll remember to clean the-"

"Shut up and kiss me mortal." Their lips meet and their brains slowly light up with primal reason. Discord's body slithers around hers and it reeks of pheromones. She shivers appreciatively.

Applejack delicately bucks her hips to the sensation building in her body and while wantonly gazing into his eyes, giggles and playfully punches his bear arm. "Well shucks, I didn't know ya'll could go again... Look uhm..." Increasing the rhythm of her hips, she pins Discord and grinds against his arousal with readiness and he grunts with a burning timbre.

"Look uhm... you're a nice, uh.. Draconequus? Am I saying that right?" She grinds into him and he groans with want. She pulls him in for a violent kiss, which lingers delicately. "But I seriously think ya'll have me overestimated! Also, I mean...Well, y-y'all don't have to do that for little ol' me,-I know I ain't the purt-"

He interrupts with a kiss and readies his member. "You really are a fool aren't you? I've been around long enough to know worthiness when I see it. Because who, tell me, who would share the bed with the bringer of chaos, if they weren't completely and utterly...Honest with themselves. Who is more worthy than those honest enough to take what they want?"

"I love you more than I do, buckin'" She whispers with gentle promiscuity and he twitches with urgent responsibility.

Discord embraces Applejack and prepares her for eventual nirvana. "Chaos, is one thing. But your thang, is quite another, my dear." They both laugh and revel in each other's playful bliss and physical promise and tease each other with the intent of release. He pushes into her desperately and her moans ring southern belles.

And while they soak in the silk of each other's flesh, their bodies tense with erotic restraint and they fill their respective sex with a dripping anxiousness as they prepare to cum and experience the universe all at once.

A small grunt leaves Applejack's lips as she reaches climax. She moans reservedly as her sex drips of Discord's pulsing arousal, and they travel towards new dimensions. They who have experienced the world together leave all others behind because they prefer eternity with another someone, instead of somebody. For there is no one more appreciative of Honesty, then Discord itself.

Because if you're doing it right, Honesty will cause Discord, but become trust and that is in a sense. Chaos Incarnate.

He impregnates her gently, ceasing all rhythm to soothe her inner walls with a thick, gooey cloud of his semen and her insides scream in orgasmed response.

They collapse on each other as the universe pieces itself back together. They pant and laugh, then grow silent for a moment.

Applejack coyly sways, then brightly smiles as she gently slaps her lover's chest.

"So uh, up for another one of those, pardner?" Applejack chimes, she gently bobs on Discord's lap.

"Only if you'll let me sleep afterwards." Discord says, obligingly.

The night echoes and bounces back and forth to lull them into a grateful sleep.

"I love you, you silly creature."