The Human Pet

Having left the strange casino, Trixie began to explore the new community she found herself in. It was unlike any she'd been to in Equestria on her many tours. The ponies here were coarse and uncouth, mingled freely with Diamond Dogs and dragons and other folk she would consider unsavoury. The streets were loud with the noise of peddlers and catcallers. Large flashing signs advertised gambling dens, and recruitment for various criminal enterprises. It seemed that pirates, thugs, thieves and degenerates were all looking for ponies.

Trixie ducked into a dingy bar to collect her thoughts, sat down behind the counter and whistled for the bartender. "The Great and Powerful Trixie would like a strong one, please, she's been traversing the quantum pathways of the multiverse."

The bartender gave her a strange look. "Sounds like you need to lay off the booze, lady."

Trixie smiled to herself. If they thought she was drunk, they wouldn't think much of her questions. "Perhaps. Where is Trixie anyway? Poor widdle Trixie got lost."

The tension eased. "Why, you're in Sugar Town, dear!" The bartender said, smiling wolfishly. "Where all dreams come true. Why don't you tell me yours, and I'll see what we can do?"

"Trixie would like to find the biggest and baddest pony in town, for she is unmatched in wit, magic and comeliness. Whoever runs this travesty of a town can only be the most fearsome villain in all the realm! Trixie will challenge him or her!" The blue unicorn said bravely, making sure to sound utterly wasted. "In short... take me to your leader!"

The bartender laughed derisively. "Sure, sure." He pointed at the nearest window. "You see that stone tower near the town square? If you can somehow get up to the penthouse, I'm sure the Governor will hire you. Off you trot! Unless you'd like to challenge me first... meow!"

Trixie waved a coquettish goodbye, and used her magic to slip a banana peel under the bawdy bartender's hoof before she left.

'The stone tower' turned out to be a well-defended square fort on closer inspection. There was only one entrance, guarded by the sort of Diamond Dogs who made other Diamond Dogs look like sissies.

"This shouldn't be too much of a problem." said Trixie to herself. "The Great and Powerful Trixie is no criminal, and so she can simply... wait... but what if that works against me here...?" She pondered for a few moments, tapping her hoof against her chin. "Trixie did try to become dictator of Ponyville that one time. Hmm."

Trixie chose to try her luck with the Dogs, and trotted right up to the gate. "Gentle... um, hounds!" She announced, clapping her hooves together. "You have the honour to speak with the Great and Powerful Trixie, former authoritarian ruler of Ponyville. Would-be ruler of all. Also, err, travelling magician. But Trixie scams her audiences on the regular! Yes, she does! She, um, she's perhaps not quite as spectacularly flawless in her act as she sells herself to be... so she's still pretty cool, but, like, not perfect. She's a semi-scammer. Many a grandma has attended her exorbitantly priced show thinking she'll do every little thing she claims. And then she cheats! Whilst still being a good magician. I mean evil. So evil. Uh... Trixie has even locked horns with Princess Celestia's own student! Anyway, here's my CV!" Trixie's horn lit up, and a long scroll of parchment materialised out of nowhere. "I'd like to see the Governor now, please."

There was no response. The Dogs weren't even looking at her. She tried to shuffle past them, but they kicked her onto her rump. "Ouch! Did you oversized poodles not hear a word I just said? Trixie is, by every definition, eligible for the Governor's own employment!" She got up and tried to force her way past them again, but they tossed her back to the street. "Seriously?! How evil do I have to be? You can't honestly be telling me the Governor doesn't take employees. It's busy work, being a supervillain! I should know, I was one!" She shook her head. "I mean, I am one! Certainly good enough to do the catering around here..." Trixie wandered off, muttering to herself angrily. Who did those two think they were?? Trixie could easily outdo any stupid governor in evil if she put her mind to it...

After a few hours of aimlessly wandering the streets, she got pulled into a back alley. "Wha-?"

"Shh." A white earth pony held a hoof to her lips. She had a pink bun, and looked somewhat disheveled.

Trixie frowned. "... nurse Redheart? What in the Sun's name are you doing here? Trixie thought you were off on some wild caper with Princess Luna."

"We were. It led us here." Redheart explained, a grave tone in her voice. They took cover behind some wastebins. "This town is a gathering place for all the worst ponies in Equestria. We were looking for Crystal Star when they caught us. Seems like something or somepony tipped them off. They put a magic containment ring on Princess Luna, so even she couldn't do anything! Then her and Private Lighthouse got shuffled off to Fort Glow!"

"However did you escape??"

Redheart shrugged. "I was in the bathroom when Luna and Lighthouse made contact with the higher-ups. When I came out, they were already in cuffs. Nopony knew I was with them. I've spent the last few days scrounging and trying to figure out how to get in the fort. But with your magic, we shall have better luck! How did you get here?"

Trixie briefed her on the adventures she had with Eris, and the latter's ability to create portals between worlds. "As you can see, the casino front is still here. I cannot believe Eris knew where she was sending me. It is probably another game of Discord's, or perhaps she simply thought about sending me to where I was supposed to go, and the magic of harmony did the rest."

"It can do that?"

"Between ourselves, Trixie is talking out of her rump, she has no idea. But the important thing is she's here, and the casino is still open. So we can leave Sugar Town whenever we choose!"

"Not without Princess Luna and Lighthouse!" Redheart insisted.

Trixie gave her a stern look. "The Acute and Tactical Trixie disagrees! Now that we know the danger is here, it would be prudent to bring in the professionals."

"By which point, Crystal Star's plan may be put into action! It's already been a while. Any second we waste could be the second the night-timers claim dominion over Equestria!"

"You're a nurse! Trixie is a family entertainer! We are not breaking into a defended base of mobsters!" Trixie hissed angrily. "It'd be like two fat ants sneaking into a can of repellent! Two delicious plates of chili squirming into an esophagus! The point is, eventually there will be a fart of toxic gas... and it'll be in our stupid furry faces!"

"But Trixie, aren't you forgetting that Sugar Town is the capital of crime?" Redheart pointed out with a wry smile. "If we break in successfully but get caught, we're more likely to be recruited than imprisoned. They'd want ponies of our caliber on their side! I mean, this is a place where everypony cheats everypony. The biggest cheaters are the biggest winners!"

Trixie halted. "So that's why they didn't let me in... actions speak louder than words! Horseapples! Trixie should have known! Oh, next time Trixie will shoot some fireworks at them, see how the good little guard dogs like that! She'll show them! She'll show them all! Trixie IS the great and powerful supervillain!" She giggled maniacally, rubbing her hooves together. Redheart tapped the blue unicorn on the shoulder.

"Uh, Trixie? We're not actually the bad guys, remember?"

"Hush, Trixie is having a moment." Her insane smile returned. "I'll give them all broccoli-flavoured treats! I'll take them to the vet! I'll..."