The Exiled God

As the light came in through the Castle of Friendship's crystal windows, Kratos awoke. His eyes fluttered for a bit, before succumbing back to the pull of sleep, turning sideways and pulling the covers over his body. His bed felt so soft and warm this morning. It reminded him of the woolen bed of his childhood, but more comfortable. Like silk. Silk... Kratos's eyes snapped open. Something was definitely not right here. Sitting up, he found that he was not in the rundown cabin him and his son shared, but rather in an enclosed room, appearing to be made of some sort of dark-blue crystal. A large bed took up most of the space, and to his right, there was a window with red curtains drawn closed most of the way.

He quickly stood up, looking around for his weapons, and, more importantly, his son. His twin blades of chaos were already attached to his forearms, but his ax was missing. No worries. He would recall it soon enough. "Boi. Boi! Where are you?" He whispered, careful not to wake anyone nearby. He looked around the room for his son, but there were no signs of him. Giving up the search for now, he made his way towards the door, remarking that it was far smaller than it should have been to accommodate a man, even one of his size. Perhaps I am in the company of dwarves, or similar imp-like creatures. He thought, opening the door just a crack and peering into the hallway beyond. Realizing that there was no one there, he kneeled, stepping into it and closing the door behind him. Slowly, he made his trek through the building, passing many doors similar to the one he had just exited while not making a sound.

As he approached the end of the hallway, he pushed his ear against the door, trying to identify any sounds. He could hear voices, three to be exact. He could tell that two were female, one distinctly so. The other was deeper by quite a bit and had a scratchy sort of quality to it. The last voice was definitely that of a youngling, no older than 13, probably. However, it was not Atreus. That he could be sure of. His son did not sound like a whiny little bitch. Loosening one of the chains on his arm, he held one of his blades in his hands, in case of an armed confrontation. With his other hand, he opened the door a few centimeters to allow him to peek in. What he saw surprised him immensely. Instead of humans or dwarves, he was met with two small horned equines, and an even smaller, scaled lizard. What surprised him even more, was that they were the source of the voices he heard earlier.

Kratos had to admit, among the many strange things he had seen in his life, never had he seen talking horses. For several minutes he simply crouched, watching the creatures with great interest. They appeared to be in the middle of their morning meal, composing mostly of fruit, vegetables, and, strangely, some kind of fried hay and gems. Why they would waste precious jewels for the consumption of the lizard puzzled Kratos. That said lizard started clearing the dishes from the table and began to wash them in a nearby contraption which pumped water onto the cutlery. If these creatures are able to afford to live in a place such as this, they must be of some sort of noble origin, perhaps royalty. Kratos thought. Admittedly, he knew none who could afford luxuries as such, even the Grecian kings he had come acquainted with during his time as a General in the Greek army lacked such wealth. Lost in thought, Kratos failed to notice that the lizard was done washing the dishes, and was now walking straight towards him. Before he could react, it had already opened the door, exposing him. The lizard let out a girly screech and stumbled backward.

"Aaaah! Twilight, help!" It screamed. Only one of the equines seemed to respond to the lizard's distress, lighting up its horn with an azure glow. "Put the sword down!" It shouted, an intense look covering its face. The other simply grinned and stepped closer. "Calm down, Starlight! Well, looks like our guest is finally awake! Hi! My name is Twilight Sparkle, that's Starlight Glimmer, and this is Spike. Um, could you put that weapon down?" She said, motioning to each creature respectively. Kratos dropped his blade, wrapping it back around his forearm with a deep frown upon his face. There was no threat here. At least, not to him. "I have ever heard of any of you, nor of your kind." He said, entering the room and rising to his full height, the mongrel lizard scurrying away to hide behind the legs of the lavender equine, known as Twilight. "Explain. Now. How did I come to be in this place?"

His serious and dark tone seemed to evoke an aura of authority and intimidation among the ponies, especially the one with purple fur. She held out her hoof, offering him a place at her table. "Here, we've just finished breakfast, but I'm sure that Spike can make something for you. Is there anything that you want?" She asked, sitting down with Starlight on the opposite side of the table as Kratos, who crouched instead of sitting. The table was too low for him. He picked up an apple that was in a fruit bowl in the middle of the table, and bit into it, creating a loud crunch as he munched on it, juice dripping over his beard. "No. I am content with this fruit, for now. Do you have meat?" The ponies flinched at that, clearly not accustomed to the consumption of flesh. "Uh, no. We don't. Anyway, last night I was watching a meteor shower, and one of them got really close to Ponyville, which is the town that we're in-" Kratos interrupted her, taking another bite, this time eliciting an even louder crunch, a drop of apple juice dripping from his beard and landing on the table. "And it flew towards the Everfree forest. When Spike and I went to check it out, we found you in the crater left by the meteor. We assume that you fell from the sky." Kratos had now finished his apple, core and all, and reached for another one. "Continue." He bit into his second apple, undeterred by Twilight's explanation. "Then we picked you up and brought you here. "That was really late last night, and you were unconscious, so we're not expecting you to remember anything." Twilight waited for several seconds as the awkward silence grew, the only sounds being Kratos' hungry munches. She looked towards Starlight, who motioned for her to come closer.

"Why didn't you wake me up and tell me?" She whispered, clearly distressed due to her current situation. "He was asleep, and I didn't want there to be a conflict. My magic doesn't work on him, plus he's also really strong, and has several weapons with him." Twilight took a glance back toward their guest, who had finished his second apple and was now busy fiddling with a pack attached to his belt. "But you could have at least woke me up after you brought him in! I'm your student, for Celestia's sake!"

"I forgot! I was up all night studying his ax!" Starlight was now seriously sweating while breathing heavily. "You stole from a creature that is resistant to our magic? What made you think that was a good thing?" She asked, with a concerned tone. "I don't know! I thought that it was a good idea at the time, and it was late, okay?" Both turned back towards the hulking man, who had pulled several strips of what looked like dried meat from his satchel, before tearing off a strip with his teeth. "Uhh...Where did you get that meat?" Twilight asked, after getting a good look at Kratos' canines. "This is Elk meat. I hunted down the animal myself."

"Okaaay. Anyway, so where do you come from?" Twilight tried to break the ice between them, hoping that she could maybe be friends with this mysterious biped. Kratos swallowed. "I come from a land called Midgard."

"Well, I've never heard of "Midgard" before in my entire life, but you're in Equestria now. Specifically, the Castle of Friendship." Kratos narrowed his eyes, processing the knowledge he had just received.

"Very well. Do you know how to get me back there?" Kratos asked. This revelation was...disturbing to him. He needed to get back to Midgard, back to his son. Though Kratos knew that Atreus would be more than capable of fending for himself. He could hunt, and if he needed anything, he could ask Freya for help. The goddess would still be angry due to the death of her son, Baldur, but she had a soft spot for children, Atreus in particular. "I'm sorry, but no, we don't know how to get you back there. We don't even know where that is, and if we did, we wouldn't know how to get you there." Starlight said, a look of pity on her face. She couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy. Sure, she had just met him, and he ate meat, but he probably had family and friends in Midgard...wherever that was. Kratos seemed to look even more serious than he normally did, a hand reaching up towards his beard to stroke it.

"Actually, maybe there is a way to get you home," Twilight added, sensing his distress. Kratos looked up hopefully. "But It'll take some time. If you want, you can stay here as long as you like. I can introduce you to my friends, and the princesses! Pinkie Pie can even throw you a party!"

"Judging by that this is a completely different realm than Midgard, I will need a place to stay. Do you have a place in which I can use to wash myself?" Kratos got back up onto his feet, brushing off the remaining pieces of apple adorning his beard.

"Oh, Yeah, we do. The bathroom's right through the door behind you, 5th door to the left. Oh, and once you're done, do you want to come with us to our Friendship school? I'm sure that the students would love to meet an alien. Maybe you can give them a lecture about your world? Um, we've never seen a human before, at least not one like you." Twilight said, awaiting Kratos' response. He stopped in his tracks.

"You have seen some of my kind before?" He asked.

"Well, yes. They're just a lot smaller, and they're lots of different colors, just like us." Twilight responded.

"Then they are not my kind. We only come in a very limited range of colors."

"Okay then. Um, see you later!" The man opened the kitchen door and was about to make his way out, but was stopped.

"Wait just a minute! What's your name?" The pink-colored mare asked him, with an inquisitive look on her face.

The man sighed.
"It's Kratos."

And he went to take a sh*t.