Author's Note

the original chapter name, outside of the one before this one and this one was going to be "Scootabuse, but not by Anon"

Hey, lookit that, I can make a not-asshole Anon. I mean, sorta.

I tried, okay?

Anyway, for all of those wondering why this one is dedicated to Vaalintine, it's because his comment on another story ( this one ) of mine actually got me to bust a gut. Going over old comments, it got me to laugh again and I'm like, "fuck it, let's work with this" lmfao.

Turns out, I can't entirely not make Anon an asshole, but I did a pretty good job at making him more reserved in this one-off.

But, whatever. Hope you enjoyed

point out any discrepancies, and i'll fix them when i can. i actually really, kinda liked this chapter lmfao

The One Where Anon Wasn't a Total Jackass (Dedicated to Vaalintine)

Scratching at your neck, you let loose a sigh as you stare at the door in front of you. Miss, erm... Cheerylee? Miss Cheerile? Shit, you never could remember her name, despite it being one of the more simple ones in this town. Regardless, Miss Cheery, as you have just now decided to call her, asked you, the sole human inhabitant of this Godforsaken dimension, to speak to her class today. You recall it being about something along the lines of how you've gotten along so far here, but other than that, nothing else comes to mind. Pursing your lips, you decide it's for the best to just get it out of the way.

Gently, you rap on the door three times and the bickering inside the small school building silences. A muffled voice sounds over it, "ah! That must be our surprise guest today, my little ponies!" Honestly, it's a tad odd that she'd ask you in the first place; given your reputation, you wonder what could have caused her to look past all that. You sincerely don't know. You wait at the door, your throat tightening as you dread the resounding hoofsteps from the teacher horse. Maybe you should turn back and, y'know, gtfo here? It's starting to sound like a good idea, frankly.

Just as you turn around, the door begins to open and you about-face, like, instantly. A soft grin peaks between the cracks, soon showing the cerise horse herself. "H-hi, Miss Cheery!" You stammer out, giving a nervous wave down to her. The door opens entirely and you see her smiling up at you, and beyond her, the entire class—nine midgehorses—stare at you with mixed expressions. Probably shouldn't have even knocked. Should've just left and slept through the entire day. Would've been better than this.

Ah, well, beggar's can't be choosers. "Anonymous! Glad to see you've arrived, I was just telling the students here how much of a great pon-er... hugh man you were." I noticed that fuck up, don't think I didn't. Racist. You shrug off the comment of how she was lying to her students and give a nod.

"Figured I'd, ah, I'd get out and do shisooomething, for once! Y'know?" Don't. Swear. In. Front. Of. The. Kids. You practically gnaw your tongue off as you see Cheery's smile waver for all of a split second. She manages to keep it in place and takes a step aside, allowing you to enter. You've got one chance, don't fuck it up. Swear in front of these kids and it's pony prison.

You've been there. It's not all that it was cracked up to be; your ass still hurts from your last, ah, visitation. Brushing by the teacher, the kids' eyes following your every move, you stop in front of the blackboard, Cheery following suit. "Well, class! This is the hugh man I was telling you all about! Anonymous, the Saviour of Equestria, Defeater of Nightmare Moon, and [REDACTED]! He's come to tell you all his journey, from a lowly street urchin-" wait, what, you weren't a fucking urchin. Shit, the moment you landed here, royalty—Sun Butt—was on your ass, throwing money at you like a prostitute! This bitch, "-to all of the titles he's gained today!" Throughout her introductory speech, the entire class ooh'd and awe'd as if they haven't heard your stories before.

Save, for one.

An orange midge horse with like, a... a violet mane? I don't know, you don't want to use the word cerise again, but whatever. This one you've seen before is what you were getting at. Not just seen, but know as well. While the other students are gawking at your exploits, she alone is somewhere else. She stares almost beyond both Cheery and you, in an attempt to feign paying attention. Shit, the only reason why you know this is because you've seen her do it before. You open your mouth to call out to her, to pull her from her head again, "-isn't that right, Anonymous?" But Cheery's voice pulls you back to reality instead. You blink, turning to look back at the fibbing teacher and give a dumb nod. She turns back to the class and continues, "you see, class. And this is why you don't do drugs," what the fuck? You weren't staring at the kid for that long were you? How did she get from introducing you to not doing drugs? "If you smoke whead, you die."

"Anyhoo, before I get too far ahead of myself, for the last thirty minutes I'm going to have Anonymous here regale you all, now! How does that sound?" About 6/9ths of the children cheer at this. You can already guess the other two outside of Scooterdoodle. Yep, that's right. Mama-beats-her and Closet Lesbian. What? You thought the CMC cared about her? Shit, they're too busy trying to get their cutie marks to notice Scoot's dilemma. Whatever, point is, teach is having you talk now.

"A-ah, hello everyone. My name is Anonymous and I've been smoking whead now for [REDACTED] months..."

. . . . .

"... and that's how I was born. As a prom night dumpster baby." The now mortified children and teacher stare silently as you move your finger out of the imaginary hole you made with your left hand. This continues for all of several minutes, the only noise that occurred was an awkward cough from one of the male midge horses, before Cheery puts on that crooked smile of hers.

"W-well, now. Wasn't that something, class? You learn something new every day—me included, evidently..." Her lips pull into a flat line as none of her students responds, You take it as a sign that you did your job. Albeit a very poor one.

You open your mouth again, but slowly close it as the bell rings, signalling the end of today's session. Also, likely, your last. All of the students awkwardly gather the shit at their desks, mumbling their farewells to Cheery. None make eye contact with you as they move through the door outside to their respective parents. Again, all save for one. Cheery glances between both her and you before going to her own desk to grade papers or whatever. A mumble under her breath. No one wants to say the obvious, not even you.

You take this as your chance to walk to the back of the classroom and tap the distracted midge horse's shoulder. "Hey, Doodle. What's up?" Your question draws her from her trance-like state and she looks up from her desk at you. "You haven't said a thing all day and that's sayin' something. Don't you usually yell at me? What happened to that girl?" Your prying questions garner a dry chuckle from her and she shakes her head before laying it on her binder.

"I dunno, A. I'm just not feeling it right now." She half speaks, half mumbles out. Her eyes lie half-lidded as she starts drawing invisible circles with her hoof. Other than that, however, silence follows.

You turn away for a moment to pull a desk next to hers, despite being twice its size. Taking a seat that you'll likely regret later, you slouch back and cross your arms over your chest. "Something happen? Grades killing you?" She lightly shakes her head, the fur under her muzzle creating a soft scratching noise against the plastic beneath it. "Boy trouble?" Even after a roll of her eyes, the same answer comes from silence. You purse your lips again and sigh, placing a hand on the top of her head, softly mussing up her mane. You didn't want to ask, but it had to be the reason beyond her attitude. "Still, y'know... having home issues?"

She doesn't shake her head, but she doesn't need to. It's practically common knowledge that her dad is a drunkard who doesn't give a shit about his daughter. It's why she kept asking to spend the weekends over for a while there. That stopped happening a bit back, though. You assumed that maybe things were clearing up for Scoots at her place, but maybe they weren't. Maybe they were just getting worse and you didn't know about it.

She tried playing it off as purple blush, that she only liked having it on one cheek because she's asymetrical like that, but you're not stupid. The dots connected themselves. You see her eyes begin to water and her jaw clench. You don't want her going in her head, not now. "Hey, Scoots." She blinks a few times and the dampness disappears.

Looking up at you, a curious yet sad glint in her eye, she quietly asks, "yeah, A?"

"Summer's almost here. Ready for weekend getaways again?"

"I think I'd like that..." A ghost of a smile forms on her face. Maybe not now, but one of these days, you'll get her away from that bastard. If she's willing, it could be sooner rather than later.

But for now? Just one step at a time.