You're getting tired of it all: the horses, the villains trying to kill the horses, the horses, the horses that try and kill the horses, the horses. All of it, especially the horses, but no matter what you do, you can't escape them and their horseshit.

Take now, for instance. What you thought would be an absolutely normal day turned into the exact opposite of that, what with another human popping up. "Oooh, he's so exotic," "wow, he's so interesting," "wow, I like your accent, where are you from?" Well, fuck you Duck Fester. If he hadn't have shown up yesterday, today would've been fine. You probably would have just been sitting on a couch, jerking it to Mary Poppins or something, but no.

Stupid British people.

He's so smug, being drunk all the time and getting all the pussy he wants. Look at him, petting all of those cats Flutterbutter owns. He looks so stupid! You can pet cats too, granted, you're allergic to them, but still, you could.

Bastard ass.

You know what, no, you're not gonna deal with this horseshit. You're going to walk over to him and sock him right in his perfect jawline. And stroke your fingers through his absolutely tantalizing hair. And leave kiss trails down his gorgeously tanned chest. And-oh my God, this place turned you gay.

Deciding against doing any of that, you turn away from the jackass who stole your spotlight and head home.

Totally not going to jerk off to him because he's the only human around.

Yeah, you're definitely not gonna do that, you faggot.

Author's Note

Well, this took a route I didn't expect it to go.