Four Sides, One Story

Yes a Deadpool/MLP crossover, parody, whatever. Enjoy!

I’ve been fighting crime, for what, three years now? Eh, kinda forgot honestly. Yea, I’m telling you right now, it ain’t easy.

A girl, born and raised on a farm in the country fighting crime, crazy right? You were probably expecting a certain pink pony I know of, but that’s besides the point. It isn’t about her, it’s about me.

What am I doing at this very moment, you’re wondering? Well, I’m chasing this chariot which has the exact pony I’m looking for. I’ll tell you more about them later. I’m having to run on top of buildings just so I can keep up with this stupid thing. Like why are y’all in a rush? It’s not like they know I’m here.

Then again, they could’ve seen me. Not the ponies operating the chariot, put the passenger inside it. Yea, maybe they saw me and wanted to get as far away from me as possible.

Listen here bitch, you ruined my life. Don’t think you’re getting off Scott-free because of that. Probably not just my life, perhaps thousands of others. All these years have been worked up for this.

Taking a right I see? You probably think I’m on the side of buildings. Think again you no-good bastard. Wait... ah shit! I just realized the jump I’m gonna have to make. I’ll give it to her for that one.

We were friends once, you know, best of friends in fact. Well, not better than my other friends, but close to it. I just wish I had reconsidered that offer. I’m not gonna cut her any slack. She knew something was coming, good or bad. I’d seen what had happened to other ponies, and yet I just went with it. I’m not blaming myself for anything. Just to let ya know.

Oh by the way, I made that jump, and I’m already back next to her, in a way. Still on top of a building, but like that bothers me. Just waiting for the right moment to strike. I’m pretty sure I have enough bullets to take down her allies. Wait... do I?!

Of course I forget to bring the fucking satchel right when I need it! Dammit, why do I do this to myself? Then again, I probably wouldn’t be here right now, if I wasn’t diagnosed with cancer. Oh, I guess a little story time meanwhile I’m on this chase. Yea, guess it won’t hurt no pony. So, it all started around four years ago... I was at the highlight of my life. It was great!

Four years ago... third person POV...

The yellow mare looked herself over in the mirror, double checking she looked good for tonight. Tonight was the night. After all these years, she finally brought herself to ask her longtime friend, and crush, Bonnie, the Princess of Harmony. Well... she didn’t remember what she was Princess of, and she wasn’t deemed princess yet, but she has to wait five more years to be as such, which was fine with her.

A familiar light green aura showed itself, with a bow tie, placing it on the mare looking at herself. Then in the mirror appeared a pure white mare, with a purple and pink mixed mane in tail, although the pink seemed more dominant then the other color. It was still noticeable, however.

“Listen, Apple Bloom,” the white mare began, making sure that bow was neat on her friends collar, “you will do great, and Bonnie will be happy. You know she’s been crushing on you too, right? I bet she’s surprised you made the first move.”

“Ah know Sweetie Belle, Ah know,” Apple Bloom, with her thick southern accent, spoke, looking towards her unicorn friend. “But, what if it’s all for naught?”

“It won’t be, I promise. You’ve been filled with courage the whole time you’ve had to wait, and now, on the big day, you’re scared?” The farmer looked at the singer, shrugging her shoulders. “Where’s the mare that said last night that tonight was gonna be the best night of her life? Has her confidence, disappeared? Or is it still there, just hiding, waiting to come out?”

“Ah guess you’re right,” Apple Bloom sighed, smiling sheepishly, “Ah guess Ah was just overthinking about this whole thing going wrong.”

“Trust me, you have no idea how hard it was for me to ask Button Mash out. Actually he was the one who asked me out... you get the idea!” The red maned mare did nothing but giggle at her friend’s embarrassment, “Point is, don’t be afraid. If it goes wrong, oh well, doesn’t mean that you still can’t be friends, right?”

“Ah guess the fact that she’s gonna be a princess was making my head spin. It’s four years, right?” The white unicorn face-hoofed, the earth pony now confused.

“It’s five Apple Bloom. That means more time to be with her, if all goes well, right?” The unicorn smiled reassuringly to her friend, which seemed to brighten her mood.

“Thanks, Sweetie. Don’t know where I’d be without ya,” the two shared a little laugh, just for the heck of it.

“Well that’s good, because you’re date’s in about ten minutes, so I suggest you get there if you want to impress her,” and just like that, Apple Bloom was out of the house. Sweetie Belle giggles to herself, knowing how she and friends could get ahead of themselves. Speaking of which... “I have to be at a concert by seven! Horseapples!” And Sweetie Belle took off in a dash out of the building as well, in the opposite direction of where Apple Bloom went, however.

Speaking of Apple Bloom...

The farm pony ran faster than she could think, with the only thing on her mind being the restaurant they promised to meet at.

“There it is,” She mentally told herself, “the Frappe Highway...”

Flashback end... back to Apple Bloom’s POV...

Why we decided to meet at a fancy restaurant instead of going somewhere that wouldn’t have cared if we got messy is beyond me. I did say it was her choice, so I guess that doesn’t matter. I wonder how she’s doing right now... oh well. Maybe I can check on her after I get this bastard to jail... or kill them.

I leaped from the building I was on, and pulled sword out, so I have something to grab onto for landing. Whether or not it’s safe, I don’t know, you tell me.

I’m gonna guess they tried to throw me off, because they just came to a screeching halt. Like this: RRRRRRRGGGHH. I don’t know, sounds like that to me. Let’s just say they failed at throwing me off.

Over the years, Equestria’s been giving the other races a chance to fight at a medium range, and I guess long range at that? Meh, that’s not the reason why I’m mentioning this. The reason why I am is because, they’ve decided to give some pegasi and most earth ponies guns! Of course I needed a few of those, even my regenerative ability, despite being able to keep me alive, can’t keep up forever.

Anyways, I begin cutting a hole in the roof, as it’s made of leather, of the chariot, my prize awaiting me down below.

I could hear her frantically shouting “What are you idiots doing? Shoot her!” Honey, they have NO idea where I’m at. Tough luck for you, good luck for me, heh heh.

Once I got finished I pulled it opened and hopped inside, greeting the pony I’ve been looking for, “Hi there! Missed me?”

“Of course not! I wished you died back at the experiment, actually.”

“Well you missed me if ya know who Ah am,” Dangit, the accent’s cutting through. That’d just made MORE obvious.

“So Apple Bloom, how’s life been?” I can see her smirk through my mask, and she can’t see how angry I am.

“Oh let me think, hmm, it’s sunshine and rainbows for me, yea- ITS LIKE HELL WHAT DO YA THINK?!”

“Really? I’m surprised you don’t have wanted posters yet.” She is THIS close to me snapping her neck right here right now because of her taunting. Son of a bitch...

“If you don’t shut up, they’ll have missing ponies posters for YOU!” I put my hoof to her chest, letting her know I’m dead serious. “And besides, you know what Ah want.”

“I told you before, I can’t FIX THAT! You brought this upon yourself!” That was when a grin grew across her face. “And it’s good that you’re hear. I need you...”

“Oh please, the only place I’m going with you is your GRAVE, missy,” I scoffed, reaching for one of my swords, “and besides, Silver Spoon, even if you did catch me, Ah always have a way out. Whether or not ponies have to die is not on me,” I point the sword to her chest, “but on you.”

“Oh Apple Bloom, you think I’m that stupid to make myself a helpless target?” She went to grab something from her bag, “I came prepared.”

The next thing I knew, my body was being electrocuted, with me yelling, “SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!”, causing me to back away from her. She then bucked me right in the face, twice. The third time she tried to buck me I grabbed her hooves, and crushed them. She screamed in pain, which was music to my ears. “Karma’s a bitch, huh?” I said flatly, bucking her in the face.

Then there went the horns. Shit, gotta go. I go back the hole I came from, looking back at my former tormentor, who pretended to be my friend just to ruin me. “See you in hell, sweetheart.”

Wait, why’s Bonnie here? I thought Celestia handled these matters! Wait, I think I know why she’s here.

“Well, didn’t expect you of all ponies to be here. Completely honest,” I walked towards my friend, which I guess we still are as she helps me at times, her guards pointing guns at me. “Relax, gentlecolts, Ah wont shoot her. She’s like my partner in crime, right?”

She sighed, signaling the stallions to hold their fire, “Listen, Apple Bloom. I’m not even a princess yet, but I have to keep watch on you from now. Celestia’s orders,” that sun-controlling bitch. Can’t she leave my business to myself?!

“So, what? You’re gonna lock me away until Ah ‘control myself’?” I taunted her, laughing a bit.

“No, you’re going to come with me, because I have a feeling you can use your powers for good. Not trying to get revenge,” Great, I have a feeling where this is going.

“Oh jeez, Ah’ve already told you last time once that Ah have a different way of justice.”

“Do I really need to fight you? You know I can easily beat you, special powers or not.”

“Well, maybe you’re right, maybe you’re wrong,” I let a smirk appear across my muzzle. “Surprise punch!”

I noticed the guys take out their guns/readying their magic, but Bonnie gave them a motion to stop. I wanna know why...

“OW!” That’s why... yea apparently she made her body feel like steel. What kind of move does that?!

“King’s Shield, to answer your question,” I guess I said that out loud, that or she read my mind. Oh well.

Well, now my right forehoof is broke, doesn’t mean I still have another to use. “Well, Ah guess that’s a bummer...” I flail the limb around just to double check, and yep, it is broken.

“UPPERCUT!” I attempted to, well, uppercut her from the neck, only for there to be more pain. “DEAR CELESTIA THAT HURTS MORE THAN A TRAIN CRUSHING YOURE ENTIRE BODY!”

“What? When did that happen?” Oh that’ll be a story to tell, if she’d even care to listen anyway.

“Yea, interesting story really, it’s a long one, but it’s a good one... HEADBUTT!” Shouldn’t have done that. “CAN YOU STOP THAT HOLY HELL!” I just broke my muzzle. Good job me! I’m a moron.

“Just come with me,” she wrapped a cuff around my left hoof, and proceeded to drag me. Shoulda took my weapons, honey.

Kicking the sword holder with my back hoof, I grab the sword with my mouth, and proceed to cut my hoof. It’s a little harder with the suit on, but hey, NO WAY I’m ready to talk about my life from these past three years. Not yet, anyway.

“Uh... ma’am?” One of the guards said, making her turn just as I was finishing cutting my hoof off. A little blood splattered on her face, when I pulled away, causing a LOT more blood to splatter. Thank Celestia I still had my back legs, and also for the fact that there was a place I could fall to. I ran over there on my hind hooves, and jumped, just before one of the guards could grab me.

“SEE YA SUCKERS!” I yell, plummeting to the ground. It won’t kill me, don’t worry, but it will hurt like HELL.

“Just leave her be, we can get her later,” I faintly her Bonnie say, before the rest of the guards leave.

That’s when my head hit the ground, and my world went black.

Ow... ugh. I really need to figure out some better plans. Especially now that Bonnie’s going after me.