Cha*t%r 8: NO NAME

Cha*t%r 8: NO NAME

We did not know how to react. I'm sure we must have looked very dump with our mouth so agape that flies could easily fly in. Our brains had a hard time processing that our eyes weren't lying.

‘’Bro. What is that?’’

‘’It's... a door. I think?’’

‘’I know it's a door but why is a door is standing there?’’

‘’Don't ask me, I have no idea.’’

At first, we were afraid of that mystery. But that fear was soon evaporated and was replaced by something else. Excitation. The joy of finding a mystery to solve. I went galloping towards that door.

‘’I am going to open it and see what behind it.’’

‘’Flo wait! We don't know what it is. This might be dangerous.’’

‘’Oh come on, it can't hurt, it's just a door. Okay, a door hidden for reasons unknown in the heart of a mountain. But reason more to investigate it.’’

‘’Oh now you're the one that want to explore. The mine spooky for you but not that?!! Make up your mind.’’

‘’This can't be compared. Can you imagine what inside? I can't. And that's why I must go in.’’

‘’But Flo.’’

‘’Too late I'm going in.’’

I ignored his protests, pushed the door and galloped on the corridor behind it. I was so excited that I barely made attention of what was around me. But it was when I entered into open space that I could not help but to stop on my track and look with wide eyes at... at all that.

All I could see was white. So much white. A clean white. More clean than a field of snow. Mel catches up with me, short of breath.

‘’Flo, what *pant* are you *pant* thinking! This could be dange... rous... ... where... are we?’’

‘’I don't know. But I think I already love it. Look at all that! It's wonderful.’’

‘’It's... I admit it is damn impressive. But... what in Celestia name is this place?’’

‘’I don't know but I can't wait to find out. What do you think it is? A long lost temple of a forgotten deity? A hidden enchanted castle? An abandoned military base?’’

‘’Let us not jump to conclusion and think carefully. Say! Is it writing that I see on the wall?’’

I turned my head to where he was looking and he was right. On the ivory wall was carved, so many to count, strange symbols that were looking nothing like our alphabet. Intrigued, we came closer to investigate it.

‘’He does look like a language. Mel, can you read it?’’

‘’Of course... that I cannot. I'm just a writer, I am not an expert in language. I don't even know if those symbols are letters or words. Although... I am not an expert but I will say that they look archaic. And ancient. You smarty one, your theory of a lost temple seems more plausible.’’

‘’I have intuition.’’

My brother continued to carefully observe those writing like if he could find an answer while I decided to drift away to find if there was something interesting. It was now that I realize that this room was quite empty. I noticed then that a piece of material had come off of a pillar. But what was peculiar was that piece of wall had a perfect cubic shape. I looked up and the hole on the pillar was also a perfect cubic shape. It was like that piece was not a detached piece but instead a block from a block set for kids. Finding that curious, I sat down and took that cube in my hooves.

‘’Oh it's light!’’

That little cube could have as well be made of styrofoam. To have a better look at it I elevated it. And the block took me with it higher. Wait what!

‘’Heh but, but, what's happening?!! Helllllp!!!’’

At my surprise, the block flew by itself, turning around in the vast room. And since I was still holding it, then that mean I was dragged on with it in that glide. And like a dump filly, instead of doing the simple thing and stop holding it, I was jigged my feet like crazy.

But even with this debacle, my brother had still his back turn on me, too absorbed by the writing to notice.

‘’Fascinating, truly fascinating. Those symbols look really old. Older than the mine//

‘’Glad you're enjoying yourself but I need help.’’

‘’But nothing look old, instead it looks brand new. How can it//

‘’Your beloved sister needs rescue.’’

‘’And how it found its way inside Mount Heaven//

‘’I mean right now.’’

‘’What a mystery. Ohh I love a mystery. It's so//

‘’Will you pay attention to me?’’

‘’Me who wanted inspiration, I think it is my lucky day//

‘’Never mind, it's quite fun in the end.’’

‘’Argh Flo, I'm thinking. Could you please stop fly away in all directions. Wait what!’’

Ah. Finally he noticed. About time. From his dump face, he must have thought he was hallucinating.

‘’WHAT!!! F, F, F, Flo, how, how are you doing that?!’’

‘’I don't know. I think it's that cube.’’

Mel grabbed me and this make me at last let go of the flying block and stopped my first flying session. A shame. I still wanted a few more minutes.

‘’Flo, how, how... how it can be possible.’’

‘’I had said I don't know. Maybe that thing is magic. I just wanted it to be higher so I can look at it more well and then... it... flew... up! Wait wait wait! Let me try something.’’

The small cube was still floating but now was staying still. I went toward it and touch it. I decided to do an experiment and I thought about it flying to the directions I wanted. And it did! The cube flew once again and hovered where I wanted it to hover. It even went to do a backflip like I imagined it to do.

‘’It's... it's awesome. Did you see, that cube is obeying me? I just have to touch it and I think it can read my intents towards it or sort of and then it does as I say. It is nearly like I levitate it myself. Is it how it how it felt to be a unicorn? If that the case then I think I will be jealous from now on.’’

‘’This... is weird. This place is too weird.’’

‘’Oh chill out for a second.’’

I probably should not have touched the block in that moment of frustration because at the simple contact, it dived toward the wall like if I had given it my anger. It hit a door and the cube fell on the floor and stayed there, having lost all life. As for us, it makes noticed that door that we didn't take attention before and we decided to investigate it.

Contrary to the first one, this one had no handles and there was a strange window of a small side beside it that was opaque and was showing nothing.

‘’Bro, what do you think it is?’’

‘’I don't know but it will be safer not to andddd you already touch it.’’

‘’Yup.’’

When I pushed my hoof on that glass, it lightens up and the door opened, well more slide, and I went towards the opening.

‘’Flo seriously, can you not feel, oh I don't know, a little tinsy worry at least?’’

‘’Oh brother. Don't do that with me. Deep inside, you are dying to see more of that place, I am not right hummm?’’

‘’Well, that's, it's not really wrong but we still should... ohhhh who I am kidding, there is no way I can resist. Okay I'm coming but you stay close to me.’’

Teheh. Somepony kno~ow how to push his buttons.

But when the door closed behind us and everything went black, there we were beginning to regret our bravado. To make matters worse, we felt the floor moving and got spook. Mel grabbed me and hold me close. I did the same and I could feel that coldness and shiver was running through him. Just like me.

For a long time, I felt it was me the true adult of us two. The voice of reason who at the occasion serve as a guide. But in this moment of vulnerability, I was feeling like the kid that I was and I was leaning on my older sibling for support.

Guess in the end, 'I was' the little sister.

‘’What is happening?’’

‘’I think... we are in an elevator. And I think we're going up.’’

Cyan lights lighten up. We could see again but their lights were too weak to dispel the dark. This was making the whole ambiance ominous.

‘’Wh, where we are going? What is going to happen to us.’’

Mel looked at me and gave a huge grin that was clearly forced. He was trying to reassure me.

‘’Don't worry sis. I'm sure nothing bad will happen.’’

The elevation came to an abrupt stop and before us, a door had slides open. We quickly galloped to the exit and we were now in a room less bigger than the first one but there was not a trace of darkness in there.

‘’Oh! I was right. Hum I mean *couff* of course, I never had any doubt.’’

‘’Yeah sure. But still... thanks you. For protecting me.’’

‘’What family for?’’

Right before us was... a... curious sight. We were not sure at what we were looking.

Our fear quickly vanished as fast as it had first came and curiosity took once again all the place. Does that make us fickle ponies?

We went closer to those... weird furniture to inspect them more thoroughly. I was finding that they were looking like desks. Desks with once again, those opaque windows. But much bigger.

‘’I feel I am repeating myself but what do you think are those?’’

‘’Well sis, I certain they are machines. But what they do? I can't even guess.’’

I tried to jump to get my higher-half on that desk like machines and saw that its surface was separated by small square with other strange symbols on each of it.

‘’Oh la la, that sound so complicate and beyond me.’’

Since touching stuffs without thinking had wielded nice results so far, I had said in my head: why not doing it again?

So I did.

Light came out of the windows and images were showing on them. Just like the screen of a movie theater. And I was not sure what it was showing.

‘’Hum. I wonder. What if I...’’

I push several times on a square and in the window, a sort of black rectangle went down on a list of that writing. I decided to stop on one at random and to push another square. On the window on our right, it shows us what was like the page of an old book. With more of that writing but also... pictures. Pictures like those you expect to find in tomes of time of olde.

Ponies, depicted in a lateral profile, kneeling and worshiping a unicorn on a terrace. That unicorn was higher than the average pony. Slender, gracious and more well-build, a lot like our princess. And her mane was a fiery red, cascading on her person. The background were the buildings of what was clearly a city. Who looked both ancient and advanced.

Mel turned his head toward me, dumbfounds.

‘’How did you manage to know how to use those... whatever those are?’’

‘’It's hard to explain. I thought that they were complex but... but after just a try it's like, well, like those machines themselves were making the job easier for me and guiding my hoof. I am not sure I make much sense.’’

I feel I need to interrupt the story momentarily to explain about the technology of the ancient civilization. As I will discover much later, it turns out that those ancient ponies made their machines with easy accessibility in mind. I don't know if is the way they are made make them easier to understand or if at a touch, a connection form between them and our mind and they give you the basic working of those devices. Well, as I had said, it is hard to explain. You have to try them to understand. To make simple, the technology of the ancient civilization is made so it is impossible to understand how it works but it is so easy to use it that even a child can make them work. I am the living proof.

To come back on the present moment, us two were beginning to get a grasp on the monumental discovery we just did.

‘’Mel. What we have found. Do you think what I think we think it is?’’

‘’I think so. If so, it's... it's mind-blowing. What are we doing with that?’’

‘’Well. I am no archeologists or engineer but I think that machine contains information on the history of that place. So what do you say? Want to find out more?’’

‘’Oh you already know the answer.’’

I am ashamed to say that but to be the first to discover those ruins, maybe we were not the best choice. Gone was our reverence of that place and we were like juvenile ponies who had found something very fun to do. We spend an hour, maybe more, in that room. Looking at images of a time long gone. Plans of the ruins which were far more huge than we could ever have imagined. And semantics of gadgets with instructions we could not read but that were coming with a lot of visuals. And all we had found so far was nothing more than a small percent. Just the tip of the iceberg. But it was enough to give us an idea of what that civilization was and what they could do. It was beyond our wildest imagination. We understood that this could change history as we know it.

If only we had treated that discovery more seriously.

Realizing how late it was, we had decided to go on our way back toward home. Besides, we had already seen so much, it was becoming a little too hard to process. We were on the corridor leading to the entrance gate of the ruins. Although I was so happy by our little excursion who had become so much better than I had anticipated, I was becoming tired and I was impatient to go back to my house and so, I was running toward the mine with my brother lagging behind.

‘’Hurry up Mel. Can you imagine the time it is? We must be way past supper right now and I am starving.’’

‘’I'm coming, I'm coming. But I see your point. Personally, I crave to plunge myself into a hot water tub full of bubbles. All that excitement had me feel sweaty.’’

‘’Eyuuuh, I would have like not knowing that. Hihihi. I can't wait to tell the others about those ruins. When they will discover these were hidden at just a few feet of us. The faces they will make. Oh but it will not stop there, all Equestria will want to hear about it. I can already see that. Dozens and dozens of teams of researchers will come swarming this place. Times will sure soon become exciting. Wait! That means Happy Town will too soon become famous! By Celestia, all ponies will soon know our name. Tourist business will explode but above all else, our way of life will be heard across all the kingdom.’’

‘’Flo. Can I ask you something?’’

In his voice, I could detect a bit of shame. I stopped my joyful rant and put myself in a serious but amiable mood. I don't know what he will ask me but it seems he doesn't feel comfortable with it.

‘’Yes big brother, what it is?’’

‘’Well, the thing is, it is a very selfish request. I am warming you, if you are not comfortable with it, then feel free to refuse. I won't hold it on you.’’

‘’!!! ... Alright, this make me worry a little. What is it?’’

‘’Could we keep those ruins a secret? Temporary, of course.’’

‘’What! I don't get it. Just... why?’’

‘’I told you it was selfish. Better forget I had said anything.’’

‘’Okay okay, stop, stop. At least tell me why.’’

‘’*sigh* Fine. Well, the reason, is the same one for why we went in that mine in the first place. I wanted to bask within lost futures and dreams and walk on vestiges filled with the ghosts of the past, all to find inspiration. And the mine was great but it just can't compare to... to 'this'.’’

He waved his hoof to all that was surrounding us. His expression was filled with exuberance like I had never seen on him before. This was enough to make me nearly think he was unhinged.

‘’This isn't just a piece of history, it is a whole world who had died, one that nopony have any memories left, making those ruins on the mist beautiful graveyard there is. The wishes and dreams of the future that were not fulfilled are floating in the air, I can feel them sipping into my skin. This enough to give inspiration for years, no, decades. It is the chance of a lifetime.’’

Again with his obsession. When he will learn to let go NO! Not now Flo. Not now. Just continue to listen him.

‘’But the problem is when words of this place will get out, like you had said, archeologists will storm this place in matter of a day. Which necessarily mean that for the sake of research, they close these ruins, forbidding access for the public for a very long time. And that means bye bye the awesome inspiration for me. That is why, I... I would like if we tell nopony for a while.’’

‘’Hummm. I'm not quite sure how to feel about that. For how long?’’

‘’Oh not long. Two weeks, that's all I ask. No more, I promise. I know well it is too big to keep for myself, I will feel too guilty if I do that. I just want the time to fully absorb all that past. But like I had said, it's up to you. Say you don't agree and I will insist no more and I will have no hard feelings. I swear. So, what do you say?’’

I wondered deeply about what he was asking of me. I could see it is something he really wants and I understood his reasoning. And yet, even if it was important to him, he was kind enough to put no pressure on me. Still, I was not quite sure if it was alright even if it was hurting no one. To keep that secret. For a short time yes but... but... wait! A secret! Between my brother and me! It was silly of me, I know. But deep inside, I was tip-dancing on my hooves and giggling like a little filly. How long it has been since we share a secret just the two of us like the days of my childhood. Well I still have a childhood in a way, but, you understand what I mean.

But there is no way I will admit to him this was making me very happy. So I played it cool.

‘’Wellll, when you think about it, those ruins had stayed there for so, so long. So it's not like there will be going anywhere in the span of two short weeks.’’

‘’So you accept!’’

‘’At one condition. Each time you return here, you take me with you.’’

‘’Agreed. I was hoping you would say that.’’

‘’What was the last part?’’

‘’Nothing nothing. Alright, time to go back home shall we.’’

‘’Great. Say, have you thought about we will make for supper.’’

‘’Huuuuu.’’

‘’Rhetorical question, I know you didn't. Luckily I am here.’’

After that day, we went back to our daily life. You probably expect that after discovering shattering worldview about your past and finding wonders beyond your wildest dreams, you will feel as if your world as tumble-down, or as if a malaise was gripping your soul, or even having a little wondering of if there were more mysteries hidden in plain sight.

But when you came back in the comfort of your house, this great adventure became like a distant memory. It was like if my brother and I had found a nice place to hang up in future days. And I sure was not fully grasping what those ruins and its effects on our society will soon have. Too blinded by wonder. I think my brother knew what their true importance had, but at the moment, his passion was taking all the place.

The first week passed quickly. During the days, we were doings our usual occupations. During the evenings, we were going to those ruins, just standing there. By brothers was snooping every corner, touching every wall intimately like if they could talk to him, telling him their history. As for me, I had invented a cool trick. Since I can move those blocks with a single touch, I had the idea to sit on them and use them as flying chairs. You have no idea how fun it was. The first time, I knew what it feels to be a unicorn. Now, I knew what it feels to be a pegasus. Still, I wonder how those who built those machines would react if they could see them being used for such a childish purpose. They probably would roll-up in their graves.

However, we didn't touch the big machine desk thingy that was serving as a library. We had at least enough respect to leave it as it is for the future researchers. Because 'we will' eventually reveal that incredible place to the world. We will keep our words.

Now you may think that after all the time I had spent talking about those ruins, that they will soon become important. You will be surprised but the truth is they have a very minimal presence in that story. Yes I know, we all naturally assume that something that big and unusual will surely make an impact.

But it is often the most ordinary things already present in our lives that can make the most impact.

And change everything.

There were only a few days left before we decide to spill the bean. But it was far from our thoughts. Mine at least. No, what was preoccupying me was to finish my breakfast the sooner possible. I couldn't believe I had overslept that day, a day of choral no less. That may be the first day where I could be late. Well, no way in hell, I was telling myself. May Celestia be witness, I will never be late for my most important duty.

A shame my esophagi was not agreeing with me.

The cereal I ate got stuck and I was frantically hitting my chest. Mel came to me and struck my back, helping me re-catching my breath.

‘’Hey slow down, slow down silly little one.’’

‘’*couf**couf* I'm alright, I'm alright. ThankyouforthebreakfastbutIgottago.’’

I push away my bowl, get out of my chair and ran toward my saddlebag and put my things inside. My brother sat down in his place laughing at my debacle. The jerk.

‘’Relax Flo. I know the choral is important for you but I am sure they would not mind waiting a few minutes for your arrival.’’

‘’Oh yeah, very professional. What kind of image I will give if their angel came late. It will be like if I say I only half-care about them.’’

‘’Ho ho. But it seems my little sis got a high opinion of herself. You should be careful or your head may inflate.’’

‘’It's serious please. Don't joke about that. Besides, today is not any ordinary choral day. I had promised to Twig Green that this one would be specifically for her.’’

‘’!!! Oh! Oooooh. She lost her father last week. The poor thing. She took it so hard. Wait! So what you are telling me, is that you are dedicated that day to her? To show that we here to support her?’’

‘’That's right.’’

‘’Then you are really impressing me. Your kindness knows no bounds. That's good. Her plead really tugs my heart. I know what it is to lose parents.’’

‘’Well on that I reassure you. She is feeling much better now.’’

‘’Already! That seems so soon! What'd happen?’’

‘’When I heard the new, I went to see her. The poor was crying all the tear she could on her bed. So I talked to her and try to console her. I told her that she was not alone, that her father was always with her and that even if she can't see it now, one day she would be able to smile again. Well it was more complicate than that but to make a short story, I managed to make less sad and more happy. Which is great, she sure needed it.’’

...

...

...

A silence had settled in the room. I should have found it uncomfortable but at that time, I was too busy packing my bag to notice it. My back was facing my brother so I could not see him.

But thinking back... he must look at me weirdly.

‘’Flo... who had asked you to do that?’’

‘’Hum? Nopony. I decided myself.’’

‘’Well... that was very nice of you, I don't deny it but... you sure it was a good idea? It seems a topic too personal to intrude and also you... don't really know how grief work.’’

‘’Ah sure yes but I know about happiness and how to help find it again. It's little my raison d'étre remember.’’

I had said showing him my rump.

‘’Besides, I have plenty of experience giving advice. Don't want to brag-on but everypony is so grateful of them. Tell that to Sturdy Hoof for example. You know, the barrel builder. The one that helped me learn to sing. He often have problems with his wife, oh but nothing quite serious. So he comes to me when he wants some help.’’

‘’What! You, you give marital advices?! But//

‘’Yes I know, I'm so young. But he had never complained once. And at once that they are more happy, is not all that matter?’’

I really should have noticed how worried he had become. But I did not, being too preoccupied by the job I had to do.

‘’You know Flo, I think... I think I should have asked that question way sooner but... what does that title of angel of Happytown entail?’’

‘’Welll, it's not like it came with job instructions. Basically it consists just to help whenever I can and being a good example. Like what I am supposed to do right now, I signal you.’’

‘’Okay but... how do you help?’’

‘’Anyway I can. Giving advices like I had said. Helping with a chore when somepony have a problem. Uplift when I see one who is feeling down. Don't expect me to tell you all the list, they don't all came at the top of my head.’’

‘’But... how frequently you are doing those things?’’

‘’How should I know? Your questions are weird.’’

‘’So you can't even tell. Is that angel thing that serious?’’

‘’I'm afraid I don't see your point. Were you thinking I was playing around?’’

‘’That not what... I am not reproaching you, it's just... you don't think it is going overb//

‘’There. All set. Now I am at last ready to leave. Sorry but I must hurry, I can still make it on time. Later.’’

‘’Wait Flo, I had not fini//

I don't let him finish, more like I barely took notice of him, and galloped straight to the door. Too busy fearing being late to see how...

How he had a bad feeling about what was resting on my shoulder.

After I finished singing my last note, everypony went back home with peace in their heart. Even Twig Green gave me a smile. A faint one, but it was there. When all were gone, there was only me and mayor Paternal left.

‘’My little Floral, this time you have surpassed yourself.’’

‘’Thanks mayor. I just hope it would have made some good to Twig.’’

‘’Oh I am sure it would. If we had all felt your warm feeling then I am sure she did too.’’

‘’Happy to hear it. Alright I will go prepare my stuffs and then I will go home. It may be long.’’

‘’Take all your time. I will wait for you.’’

I went to the next room and opened the door. Once I crossed it, I pushed it on my way so that it can close behind me. But I missed and the latch did not properly enter the hole, making the door only nearly closed. Wanting to rectify my mistake, I turned back but through the thin opening, I could spot something surprising.

At the doorway of the chapel, my own brother, bathed by the light of day, crossed it and walked toward the mayor.

‘’Mel! How good to see you. We don't see you often here.’’

‘’Good day mayor Paternal.’’

‘’If it is for the performance of Flo, I'm afraid you are too late. She just had finished.’’

‘’That quite alright, it is not for that I am here. Where is she?’’

‘’She is at the lodge. If you want, I go search for her.’’

‘’No it is fine. The truth is if I had come, it's to see you.’’

‘’Me!’’

‘’Yes, I need to discuss on something important. Something very important.’’

‘’Alright? What is it?’’

I could see my brother taking a deep breath for then releasing it.

‘’From what I had heard, it seems my little sister had become a local celebrity. No, more than that, she is being idolatred and all see her as a role model. Despite being such a young age.’’

‘’That's right. You could not be more true. She is an inspiration for us all. We are all so lucky to have been blessed with such a special child.’’

‘’Hum. Well I won't deny that she is exceptionally precocious and quite pure heart. Hell, she is way more responsible than me. But to hear that she had... such presence among Happy Town! I was quite surprised.’’

‘’You mean you did not know! Oh Mel, that you stay coop up from us is one thing, but that you don't see the true worth of your own sister! I am temp to say it is hurtful.’’

That... what a slightly reproaching remark coming from him. I am not sure the mayor was even aware. Mel was taken aback but he got back his composure.

‘’Yes. Yes you're right. I am really ashamed to not having noticed it sooner. I did not take that angel thing seriously enough. I had always thought that it was nothing more than an endearing nickname to show how much she is loved. But it goes beyond than that. She is a symbol. Which is precisely why I come to you.’’

His face becomes one of grave seriousness, leaving no place for jokes. One that I had never, ever, once see him having before.

‘’This whole angel of Happy Town thing. It needs to be toned down. If not, to be stopped completely.’’

‘’Whaaat! But, bu bu bu, I don't understand! How can you ask something like that?!’’

‘’I know it is brutal and for that I am sorry. But it is something I need to do for the sake of Flo. This is not a game. She is taking that task that you had given her very seriously like if it was an important duty. And for what she had told me, you, also took that very seriously.’’

‘’Of course it is serious. She makes Happy Town better.’’

‘’By herself? Well you did good to make her believe that. She feels she had to play the hero and to fix all the problems she finds on her path, big or small. Have you any idea how many days I see her coming back home, tired and still, never complaining and always smiling. And like a fool I had never made the connection.’’

The mayor, once shaken, softens considerably and the light of comprehension shone on his eyes.

‘’Aaaaah, now I see. You are just worried about her well-being. Sorry, I had first thought... no it does not matter. Well, if it's that then I can hardly blame you. I understand you. I had once the same worry that you have. But I should not worry too much about her if I were you. She is young yes but she is exceptional. She is strong, clever and driven. She knows what she is doing. And she always does a job well-done. You know as well as I that she would not stop no matter what we tell her because it had always been her own decision. We did not give that title because we felt she must become a symbol of happiness. We gave it to her to highlight what she already was.’’

Mel was grinding his teeth.

‘’And... what she is supposed to be?’’

‘’Well, an angel of course. She is such a wonderful angel.’’

‘’NO SHE'S NOT. SHE'S JUST A CHILD. She's just... a child. She is a normal pony with her flaws and her limits. And you are asking her to become what she is not. For Celestia sake, can't you see this a role too high for her?’’

To say I was spooked... would be a euphemism. My brother... my Mel... was furious! He, whom I was so sure that he was incapable of that. He was nearly unrecognizable. Maybe I should have listened to that fear and understand why it was acting that way. But instead...

That fear in my heart was numb. Like all the rest.

Because another feeling was taking all the place.

Mayor was still trying to be cordial but it was clear that his patience was starting to wane.

‘’Melancholia, now you do are being hurtful. And you don't treat your own sister at her just value. You want to deny all the good she can do. I had always been sorrowful that you could never get rid of your pessimistic views of the world. But that they strip Flo of what makes her special! Now this is going too far.’’

Mel covered his eyes with his hoof and started laughing. Even though that laugh had no trace of amusement in it.

‘’Hahahaha, typical Happy townians. Once you find something that look and sounds positive, you just stop thinking and only look at the surface. Never pondering about the future and what consequences might happen. But I can. And let me tell you. There are, so, many, alarms that ring in my head. Have you ever imagined that she could become isolate because of that pedestal you gave her? You call her special but that also means she is not an equal and nopony would feel worthy of approaching her. What will happen if she gives too high-standards for herself. Anything could go wrong, she might find a problem too big for her and this might be enough to make her feel like a failure. And what would happen if she felt she must not allow herself to cry, that she had to keep everything inside for the sake of not betray the ideal she represents and so on, and so on. By turning her into a symbol, you invite a lifestyle that could be dangerously detrimental for her well-being.’’

‘’I am more than tired to be insulted by your words. No one care more about little Floral than us//

‘’And another thing. Do you think I do not see what this is all about?’’

‘’Wh, what do you mean?’’

My brother walked toward the mayor, turning to his side, and look at him with such a cold, cold gaze.

‘’Question. What happens when somepony loses a wife or a husband?’’

‘’What!?’’

‘’Answer. Usually, he or she gives all the love they have toward their child. And that child receives the love worth of two ponies for the price of one. The reason if I tell you that is this is a little same principle, is it not. Mom and dad were very much loved by all the town when they were alive. You could even say they were the heart of the community. And they were good friends to you too. When they die in that landslide, Happy Town had lost an important piece of itself. So, you did like those widows and widowers and put all that love into the child of my parents. I was the black sheep so it was difficult to do that with me. But Flo, she was so much like them. And so she became a pony receiving the love of three ponies.’’

‘’... ... What you say is probably true. But still... I don't see what wrong with that. What is wrong with a little girl receiving so much love? She does deserve it after all.’’

‘’What is wrong is because you do not allow yourself to feel sorrow you didn't properly grief. You had used my sister as a comforting blanket to protect you from that grief, until you have even forgotten why you adore her so much. And then you became greedy and decided to make her into a pony like those Mane 6 so that she and your ideal of happiness can go to new heights. Open your eyes please. This is not healthy. None of it is. Neither for her nor for you.’’

Mel made a big sigh to release all the tension in him.

‘’Sorry for lashing out. ... Look. If we both cold-down our head and discuss calmly... I'm even willing to come to a compromise where//

‘’That's enough brother of mine.’’

The door opened-up slowly with a creaking sound. Showing to those ponies in the chapel my full person. And my cold stare, colder than the one of my brother. Which once he saw me, lost all his composure.

‘’Flo! You were listening to us?!’’

‘’Yes. And I must say I am shock. I never expected that coming from you Mel.’’

I had said with a voice devoid of feeling. I never imagine I could be capable of so much anger. So much I could not even express it. And as I went closer to my brother, each of my steps had to be carefully choreographed because I could no longer do them by reflexes. Mel was taking steps-back as I was now in front of him.

‘’So you think that I am not able to take care of myself? You think I am that naive?’’

‘’That's not what I'd say Flo. I meant//

‘’You know, I had always tried my best to encourage your strange lifestyle. Even though there were days when it was hard. But now I learn that you are looking down on my job. I feel betrayed you know.’’

The mayor behind me could see that tension was being build-up and wanted to calm me down

‘’Flo, please don't act like that. It was just//

Without turning back, I held my hoof to my side, telling to not butt-in and stay silent.

‘’Sorry mayor, but this is a family matter. Leave us the two of us alone please. I will see you soon.’’

I leave no room for discussion.

‘’Hum! Al, alright Flo. I... I will be at the stairs.’’

He went away, a little perturbed by my behavior. Can hardly blame him. I was not even recognizing myself.

Once the doors closed, me and my brother were alone, face to face.

‘’How could you Mel? How could you say that all I did was bad?’’

‘’Please, do not see it that way. I am worried about you, that's all.’’

‘’And what there is to worry exactly? I help to bring happiness to all and their happiness is my happiness. This is my purpose. My duty. And you are saying that you want to steal me that.’’

‘’See. That is exactly what I am talking about. You are already seeing that as a duty.’’

‘’That is because it is. Look, I don't care for which reason they gave me that role. Because right now this is what I like to do. This is my place in the world.’’

‘’But that just it Flo. I do not ask you to stop. Believe me on that, nopony more than me know about wanting to do what we like. I just ask you to tone it down. It's becoming taxing to you.’’

‘’But think about it. There exists a lot of jobs that are taxing and tiring for the body. Yet, there are ponies that are still doing them. So then, why it could not be the same for me. Is it not a little tiredness a small price to pay for doing what I like and what I must do. Besides, I am still young. I will eventually build-up more stamina.’’

‘’You're just a kid Flo. Realize this is too much for a kid.’’

‘’The ponies of Happy Town choose me to be their angel because they knew I was capable. I will not doubt their trust in me.’’

‘’If you had listened to all I say then you must know they are not//

‘’Paranoia. That is what it is and that is what is talking for you. Just plain paranoia. Because you are a weird pony with weird taste and weird ideas and now you want to bring us in your madness.’’

That... must have hit him right at the heart. He recoiled like if he had been slapped. It probably had hurt as much as that. But yet, I was still going on with my assault.

‘’And how can you know so much about us? How can you judge us? You never interact with us. You're always hidden in your corner with your stuffs. So how the hell do you know we are so wrong?’’

‘’Flo! Ple, please understand, it is not easy for me. They may look nice and cordial in my presence but I can tell they don't really want me. No matter what I try, they can't like me.’’

‘’Oh. So you mean this is all about resentment? Is it why you don't like the attention they give me?’’

‘’No! No. I promise you this is not about that. Yes, I am sometimes angry at my hometown but never to the point to hating them. This is not about them. This is because I love you that I want to rethink that duty of yours.’’

‘’Well you have a very strange way to show your love.’’

‘’Flo//

‘’No you listen to me. This is not about me. This is not about you. It is about making the world better. There is no way that bringing smiles can be a wrong thing. So this time, it is time I lay a line on the sand. Keep your twisted way of life out of me and my destiny.’’

‘’But... but I just wanted to help you.’’

‘’Arrrh forget it. This discussion is going in circles. If you refuse to see reason then I prefer to stop it right now. I have no longer have the patience to deal with it.’’

It was true. If I had stayed a minute any longer, I feared I may have said nasty stuffs. Well, nastier than I already say at least. So I went my way to the door for some fresh air.

‘’I'm going home. I need some time alone.’’

‘’Alright but I will come back on this discussion.’’

‘’Not today please. Just... just not today.’’

‘’*sigh* Fair enough.’’

‘’Alright. See you soon then.’’

‘’Flo.’’

‘’What?’’

‘’I love you. More than anything. You know that?’’

‘’... ... Yes. I know.’’

But still, I was seeing this whole discussion as an attack personal on me. I was so angry at him. And I was not liking what I was becoming. Which was making me angry at myself.

Which was making me even more angry at him.

The rest of the evening had been spent... quietly. We had taken our super in silence, not talking to each other, not even glancing at each other. We were politely acknowledging our presence but we were doing like if there was nothing to discuss.

Yes, for both of us, it had been a very awkward evening.

We then went to bed with a simple good-night.

For hours, I was incapable to sleep.

My thoughts were too agitated for drowsiness to come. Staring at the ceiling was the only thing I could do. It was now that I realize that my earlier outburst was just not the anger from a single day, but one that had accumulated over months without me noticing. I had tried my best to not agreeing to the opinions the citizens of Happy Town about my brother. I really did, I swear. But... I had also never disagreed with them. He was going against the ideal we were going for.

I guess I leave that question on hold for... a very long time.

But now I saw that it is no longer on hold. I, was, agreeing with everypony and seeing my beloved brother as... I don't know. Something not good.

I was thinking of today. And how both of our personalities were clashing like if they could not fit together. I was thinking of happy days of the past. And how they now feel tainted. No longer able to see my brother with the same light. And wondering if I should have done something instead to let him continue on that path. I was thinking of future days. Wondering if I could still be able to enjoy them when to me, my brother was now... a deviant.

This was too much for me and I got up from the bed. I needed to move my body or otherwise I will go crazy.

I went to the floor below, discretely, fearing to wake-up Mel. I was planning to go to the exit door, going outside into the fresh night air, looking up at the starry sky, hoping it will help me clear my ideas. But it was then that my eyes caught glimpses of something.

The light of the pale moonlight, the same moonlight as our nights at the pond, was coursing through the window and resting its white drape on the shelf full of books. The novels written by Mel.

There they were.

The passion of my brother.

His life work that nopony want to recognize.

And in a way, the source of all those problems.

Now I am going to tell you something that will surprise you all. But the truth is...

I had not read any of his books.

Not a single one.

I know. It might seem weird that for all this time, I had been supportive of his work and yet not to have a single idea on what his books are talking about. Mel is writing tragedies and I have no interest in them. That is why his novels had always been a nebulous concept for me. Something I was starting to realize now. Oh sure, I had heard his music and saw his paintings, though I prefer not linger for long around them. But those books are where his true devotion is. Where he put most of his time and work. He is a black sheep among us, he rejects our way, he works day and night even though he receives no reward for it. All, for them. So... looking at those tomes, I was telling myself...

‘’Maybe it's time that I finally know what this is all about.’’

I took a stool, jumped on it and grabbed several books at random without even bothering to look at the titles. Once I had several in balance on my back, I was searching for a place to read them. My head turned to the door of the writing atelier who is at the opposite of the shelf and that was now covered in pitch black. The place where Mel isolates himself for long periods of time.

Yes. That seems a good place to quietly read.

I opened the door and closed it behind me. I lighted the gas lamp and sat before the desk of my brother. I took a book and put it on the wooden surface. I stayed there, my hooves on it without moving, hesitating. No sure if I really should. But then, I opened it violently and started reading the first words.

I knew he had a talent for writing but it was only now I understood how gifted he was. My eyes were darting from word to word and my hooves were turning the pages on automatic. It was impossible for me to stop. I finished the first book in... I had no idea how much time it took. I had lost all notion of time. And once I finished, I quickly grabbed another one and opened it. It had become a need. Then after, I went to the next one and the next one and the next one not caring for the health of my eyes. I just could not stop.

That was how powerful his words were.

‘’Flo. Flo, are you there? I can't find you.’’

I could hear my brother descending the stairs. I guess morning had come without me realizing. But since he is a late-morning pony, then it's probably even more late than that.

‘’Flo? Flo, where are you? Heh wait! Some books are missing! Could it be?’’

The sound of his hoofsteps was approaching. It was a perfect timing, I had just finished the last page of the last book when Mel creak open the door, bathing the stuffy study with the light of the day.

‘’Ah there you were hidden. What are you doing here... with... my...’’

Even if he was behind me, I could tell that he had glimpses at the pile of books and understood everything.

‘’Flo... did you... read them?’’

I answered in a robotic voice:

‘’Yes. All of them. I had spent all the night reading them without stopping.’’

Mel at first did not know how to react. His hooves were shuffling on the wooden floor and thought he wanted to talk, his words were staying stuck in his throat. I didn't see him but I knew he did that. I just knew.

‘’Oh well, that is, hum, well that is unexpected. I... hum... I happy that that you had decided to read them, read... so many... but theyyyy might not be suitable for a pony of your age since... since... ... please Flo, tell me, I want to hear your opinion. Did you like them?’’

I could feel myself trembling to my very core. So much that I had to hold myself with my hooves to calm it down.

‘’Did you find my characters fascinating? Did I managed to well convey their pleads? Did my plots and ideas were well thought? I was trying my best to be original.’’

My teeth were grinding so much that was hurting my jaw. While he just would not stop talking.

‘’I'm sorry, I don't want to come as needy but it is very important for me. I was expecting that nopony would ever give me a proper opinion and you are the most important pony in my life. Your opinion is the most important to me. What... what were... Oh what I am saying, I really am too needy. Forget what I had said and just tell me if you had loved them.’’

‘’What...’’

I turned around to face him... and I don't dare to imagine what face I was making.

‘’What was THOSE HORRORS?’’

...

...

...

My brother face was stuck on his smiling expression. But his eyes were showing that something inside had broken.

‘’Huh? I... don't understand.’’

‘’Those books. They are, they are... I just can't find words. Is it really on that you put most of your time? To create those repulsive stories!’’

As I talked, I was angrily walking toward him. I must have looked very scary because as I was approaching him, he was stepping back in fear of me even though he was the big pony.

‘’Flo, please, this is harsh what you say. You don't have to spell it like that. You are just no use to tragedies, that's all. Yes, it's true mine are pretty intense but it is because I can't write any other way, that's all.’’

‘’Intense. INTENSE! It had made me miserable. I had never felt so awful. And yet I was not capable of stopping, I went on and on and I was trapped in a morbid curiosity that was forcing me to know what happens next and read other horrible stories to distract myself from the ones I had already read.’’

‘’But//

‘’And how the hell did you came out with theses? An incestuous love story finishing in heartache! A pony struggling with murderous desires! A tale of revenge and organized crime! And, and, arrh and much more that don't dare mention. Tell me. What must go through your head to come up with such twisted ideas. Is it really what you are, twisted?’’

‘’But no, no I am not. This is just what I love to write. That doesn't mean I am what I write.’’

‘’Are you, brother? Are you? I feel like a fool. If I had known this was how you were spending your days, I will have never supported you. And you wonder why nopony want to publish you or buy your craftsponyship? You wonder why nopony want to hang out with you? They were right about you. They were all right about you and I should have listened to them.’’

My big brother was no longer a big brother. He was crying uncontrollably and to me he looked like he had become a small and vulnerable child.

‘’Please Flo... not you. Everypony but you.’’

‘’No. I no longer be blind just because you are family. What you are doing is obscene. YOU ARE OBSCENE.’’

‘’No it's not true, it's not true.’’

‘’Stop acting like that. I have enough of you. I don't want to be here.’’

I know it was exaggerated but this house filled with everything he had worked for was making me sick. Symbols against everything I was believing in. I wanted to get out. So I ran and even pushed my brother before me and he fell down. As I galloped towards the exit door, he had held his hoof toward me in a pleading gesture.

‘’Flo wait, don't go away//

I went outside and slammed shut the door.

‘’... ... Flo!?’’

I didn't go away completely. I was in the terrace, trying to make sense of the violent feelings submerging me. Without success. Even with door and wall between us, I could still hear him. He was crying. No. He was weeping like if he was the saddest and loneliest pony of the world. And it was making me cry too. So I ran away like I never did because hearing him sobbing was making me guilty and miserable. And as I galloped to tear, I was asking myself...

How did it come to this?

What I did that day was simply nothing more than betray. My brother was good to put the facade that he was in peace with how alien he was compared to all the rest of Happy Town. But the truth is he never was alright with being isolated. He was just enduring in silence. In a way, I was his only friend. And there I go, being disgusted by him. How he must have felt? Did he feel abandoned? Did he feel hopeless? Or maybe he felt that we were right and that he really was a deviant? I may as well have stabbed in the heart. And then stabbed again and again without mercy. I did betray him. But like a fool, I was the one who had felt betrayed. Because I am the angel of Happy Town and everything that is sorrowful must be my enemy. Tell me. Do you hate me now? Well if you do...

it is surely not enough.

I had passed the rest of the day at the mayor house. He was kind enough to harbor me without asking questions. When came the evening, I went back to my house to see how Mel was holding up. Before I even touch the first step of the stair, Mel came out from the door and he had on his back many saddlebacks and equipment that looked heavy for only one pony. When he saw me, he looked surprise.

‘’Oh! ... Hello... Floral.’’

‘’Hello brother. What are you doing with... all this?’’

‘’Oh, you know. It is soon the end of the deadline before we decide to speak about the ruins. So... since it will be my last chance to profit from their splendor, I am going to make it count and stay a full day. Maybe more. Then I will reveal them to the public.’’

‘’Ah. I see. That seems nice. (Yeah right. The true reason is that you want some time alone. I will have done the same.)’’

‘’Yes. So I will go now. ... ... Say. I had prepared extra food and sleeping bags just in case. You want to come?’’

‘’I... ... sorry. But... I rather not.’’

‘’Oh... yes. Yes, of course. I understand, it was dumb to... ... anyway, I should go. If you change your mind, you know where to find me.’’

‘’Yes. I will think about it.’’

‘’Alright. Then... see you later.’’

‘’See you... later.’’

With just that as a goodbye, he went on the path leading to the forest who will then lead to the mountain. I just stand there, looking at him shrinking in the distance. I felt I could have said a better farewell, or at least, said some nice words, but I was still mad at him and my feelings were still too mixed to address properly. Once he was out of view, I sighed. I felt guilty but I was feeling reliefs that it will be gone. Even if it is just for a single day. I was doing my best to keep it inside but I was still so angry at him.

And I really needed a break from that.

‘’Is that true mayor! It really happens!?’’

‘’Yes, I swear. You should have seen the face I made. It was a little like that.’’

He made a goofy face and we both burst of laughter to the point that my stomach felt cramped. Gosh, how much I needed that.

A few hours after Mel departure, I decided again to see Mayor Paternal. He gladly invited me for a late evening tea. He knows that if there is one pony that can light up the ambiance, is him. With his help, I was feeling serene once again.

‘’Oh thank you mayor to have let me in. You have no idea how better I feel.’’

‘’My house is your house. You can stay as much as you want.’’

‘’That's nice of you but let us not exaggerate. I just wanted a moment to talk with a dear friend. I do not mind sleeping at my house even if I will be all alone. Quite the contrary, I will find it relaxing.’’

‘’So the rumors that Melancholia went away with lots of luggage were true.’’

And there it goes. My good mood was flying away. Just talking about him is enough to make me gloomy again. So annoying.

‘’Oh... yes, hum. Mel decided to take a trip out of town to find inspiration. He does not exactly know when it will come back.’’

That was technically not a lie.

‘’I see. Say. Did something happen with him? I notice you seem to tense when I mention him. And you know, since at the chapel//

‘’Please, I would like us to stop talking about him.’’

‘’Heh! Hum, alright, if you insist.’’

I may have been forceful, but I really wanted to take a break of Mel.

As I putted down my cup on the saucer, I noticed it was shaking. Great. Was I really that upset?

I released it from my grip.

Ahhh! It still was shaking on its own. And the cup of the mayor too! Strange. What could cause that?

Anyway I quickly forget that and went back to have a good time with the mayor. All my bad thoughts were drifted away and I felt I was becoming back the happy little filly I was supposed to be. This is our devise. No matter what, always thrive to keep your smile. I had nearly forgotten that.

Some time had passed since he went away. I would like to say that the house felt empty without him but the truth is that I had quite enjoyed the me-time. I was feeling refreshed. As long as I was not looking too much at the shelf of books. I am ashamed to say that for all this time, my brother was not in my thoughts.

Or so I thought.

As I was preparing dinner, I noticed that I was preparing too much. I was making for two and didn't question it. Old habits do die hard. This made me wonder...

‘’Does he eat properly? I know he had brought a lot with him but he has been gone for... hum, how long? One. Two. Three days! He had stayed on those ruins for three whole days and didn't notice it! I know he had said it could be more than one day but still... . But it is Mel I am talking about. He gets so often lost in his passion that he loses all notion of time. And I have to be here to get it back to reality. Must I do it again?’’

I really did not want to do that. I was feeling free of those... icky feelings and... I was no longer so sure if he deserves my attention that much. I lighted the stove for my vegetarian ragout and went out of the kitchen since the meal won't be ready after some time. As I walked the corridor, I proclaim:

‘’You know what. Forget about him. If he wants to stay with his obscene obsessions then it is his problem. I had done so much for him, let him deal with his problems alone. I deserve to take care of myself for once.’’

I was decided. You may even call it a promise encrusted into my heart. I went into my bedroom and slam the door shut. It might have been a metaphor for shutting all my thoughts about Mel.

Not even five seconds later, I reopened it and went back on my steps.

‘’*sighhh* How I wish it would be that simple.’’

So, once the ragout was ready, I put it in a thermos and with saddlebacks on by back, I went outside to go straight to the ruins where my brother is.

I guess in the end, even if my opinion of him had changed... he still my family.

I was crossing the forest to go to the mountain. I took that path so many times that I am sure I could cross it my eyes close. Not that I would. The light piercing through the foliage of those vegetal giants was making it quite a serene scene. It was enough... to take me into a pensive mood.

I reached the foot of the mountain before I realize it. Once I climbed the rock and reach the entrance of the tunnel, I took out my lantern and light it on. Then, I went into the darkness.

Once inside its stone walls, all sounds of the nature had disappeared. There was only the echo of my hoofsteps. The first time, I was finding that oppressive. But after a few trips going into that mine, I was beginning to see its charms. The echoes were making me think of the chapel because I found now the noise majestic. The same is also true for the dark. At first it was scaring me but I then developed a love for it. It is true that we fear the dark because anything could hide in there. But if anything could hide in there, then why not beautiful things? So I like to imagine that fairies or other magical dreams are concealed behind the veil of black.

But all the quiet was also working against me. It was helpful for burying feelings to emerge. Like the guilt I had tried to push-back for the past days.

This made me grind the metal ring of the lantern between my teeth. As I was crossing the natural bridge, I was no longer able to see my previous shouting with Mel the same way.

Maybe I had been too harsh on him?

Maybe treated him like a deviant was plain cruel?

And maybe he was now feeling so alone?

Could it be the true reason on why he was isolated himself in these ruins?

Wait! Could it be that the true reason if he was always isolated himself was that he was feeling so lonely all this time?!

The bags on my back suddenly felt so heavy. I had to stop to sit down and to take them off. I was near to the entrance anyway. And as I looked at the flame in the lantern, dancing... I was thinking of our happier days, when we were forming such a tight pair. We use to laugh at the simplest jokes, sharing quality time, pondering on life together when we were in the mood. And of course, singing and doing music at the pond.

How I was missing those times.

I shook my head to find determination. It was decided. I will find my brother and apologize to him. Then I will go home with him, I will only prepare his favorites for supper, we will do fun things tomorrow and do music at the pond even if it is too early.

But... the problem was still there. I still can no longer see him the same way as before. And he still loves those ... ... ... I will find a solution. We will discuss and both find a solution. Eventually. Yes. Finding solutions to problems is what I do best after all.

With a far better mood and springs in my hooves, I grabbed the lantern and galloped towards the ruins without even taking my bags. I did not want to wait a second more to find my dear brother.

I could now see the double white door. Barely lighted by the orange light, but making it even more inviting. But I didn't reach it because my feet tripped on something and I tumbled down, dropping my lantern. Luckily, it did not break. But it made me wonder. On what did I trip? It did not feel like a rock.

I get back up and dusted the dirt on me. I turned around and then, finding the culprit was very easy.

‘’What the?’’

Before were bags of luggage. Mel luggage. In my haste I missed them and ran on them. However...

‘’Mel luggage! Why did he leave them here in the dark? And for how long?’’

For me, it was raising so many questions. It was too strange. I decided to look around and see if I could find hints. In this cavernous room where the light makes the dark more dark.

I looked back at the door. Its pristine shin a contrast to everything else.

I looked above me. The ceiling was quite high. It made me feel very small.

To my left was a rock wall still of artificial origin but there was an elegance in its smoothness.

To my right, the wall was not smooth at all. Instead, it had fallen off and a big pile of rocks was on its feet. I'm sure it was not there the last time I came here!

I gazed downward. At the bottom of the pile, half-buried under the rocks was the battered and emaciated gray body of Mel.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

‘’AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!’’

I rushed toward him, my view blurry by my tears, running, tripping, crawling, getting up, never stopping going forward, forward to see again my brother who is not dead, he couldn't be dead. It couldn't be real, reality must be wrong.

I touched his dear head but to my horror, his skin was cold. No. No nononono, I will not believe it, I refuse to believe it. My heart was beating so fast it was painful and my eyes were shaking because they were refusing to accept what they were seeing as truth. Wait! What I was doing at being sorry for myself? I must save him.

I threw away like a fury those evil rocks that bury him but each time I took one away, another took its place.

‘’Why won't you go away? Why won't you go away? How could it have happened? *gasssp*’’

[Ahhh! It still was shaking on its own. And the cup of the mayor too! Strange. What could cause that?]

‘’An earthquake.’’

An earthquake, I was saying to myself with horror. That was the obvious answer. And yet I had never connected the dots.

It was my fault! The shaking must have caused the wall to collapse and took Mel by surprise. It had happened three days ago! And like the fool that I am, I had never guessed! It was all my fault.

How many days he had been stuck here? For three long days, Mel was suffering while I was blissfully happy I never should have been so cruel to him over such trivial things and pushed him away He had been abandoned by those he loves because it wouldn't have happened if I had come with him like I always do He die alone and miserable but instead I had let him go on his own. How could have left him? Alone with only the terrifying darkness as companion How much he must have suffered, no With wounds and crushed bones that must had been painful no I don't want to even dare think about that.I grabbed his nearly skeletal faces His empty stomach must have tortured him and shook it but nothing happens.

‘’(Oh Celestia, oh sweet Celestia, what should I do, what should I do?)’’

If only I had been a better sister.

If only I had not unjustly find him disgusting. If only I had never shouted at him. If only I had come with him. If only I had been more smart and see the signs. If only I had not been so self-absorb and come one day sooner.

If only if only if only if only if only if onlyif onlyif onlyif onlyif onlyif onlyif onlyifonlyifonlyifonlyifonlyifonlyifonlyifonlyifonlyifonlyifonlyifonlyifonlyifonlyifonlyifonly

If only just one of those 'ifonly' had never happened.

I walked back and fell on my butt. No wanting to see him in that state but not able to divert my eyes away. All my body was shaking like if something would soon explode and the dam in my eyes was close to burst even though I was sure it already did.

It was then... that Mel opened his eyes.

He was alive? My brother was still alive! It was a miracle. My tension diminishes but it was still high.

His iris had lost all luster. They seemed to look vacant. And delirious. He looked feebly around like if it did not recognize what he was seeing. But when he looked straight at me... he smiled. A weak smile. But one so sincere.

‘’Flo... ... you came back.’’

‘’Mel!’’

I grabbed his head in my embrace and weeps like a baby.

‘’Oh Mel, I'm so sorry *hic*, I should never leave you alone, none of this would have happened if *hic* I had been a better sister, I never should have said those means *hic* things to you and it's not true that I find you obscene.’’

‘’Sssshh. It's alright my Flo. It's alright.’’

‘’I, I, I, I, I don't know wh, what came to me. I wasn't, I wasn't thinking anything I had said, I swear I swear *sniff* I swear.’’

He gently puts his hoof on my check and strokes my tears.

‘’I forgive you... he did hurt... but... I never hated you.’’

‘’But why?’’

‘’Because... I just can't. I love you too much... for that.’’

I grabbed his hoof like dear life.

‘’I don't deserve a brother like you. I will make it up to you, I promise. Just wait, I'm going to free you.’’

‘’Not... good idea. I think those... rocks are the only thing... that holds back... ... ... not important... and anyway... I don't feel my legs anymore.’’

‘’Then I will find help. You will be treated and all will go back to normal.’’

I was starting to panic again and hyperventilating. Mel grabbed my face. He was clearly hard for him to talk. His throat must have been so dry. Yet, he acted like if he was just fine.

‘’Flo. My dear Flo. I... know you are sad. So... let me tell you something. When I was young... I was sad nearly all the time. So mom... mom used to sing to me a beautiful song. This song... is very important to me. But I think now you need it most. Would you... like to hear it?’’

‘’*sniff* Yes. Yes, I *hic* I would like very much.’’

‘’Alright. Then here it comes.’’

He took a little breath and sang with a soft and melodious voice.

The smiles into your heart

seem like now far apart

The colors that used to stay

change into sad gray

But true beauty is never took

if you know how to look

Your treasure

you never should misspend

Always there

with you as a friend

Once he had finished, I was suddenly feeling much better. I wiped my tears and managed to make a smile.

‘’That was incredible.’’

‘’Remembering that song had helped me a lot when I was feeling down. I want you to do the same and to never forget it.’’

‘’I will. I promise I will. Maybe we could even sing it together the next time we will go to the pond.’’

‘’Oh yes... ... that would be nice.’’

‘’Yes. And once you will get better, we could take some vacancy and go somewhere just the two of us. Oh, and I just got an idea! Next time I must go to the choral, you should come too and add your violin to my song, it is great time they know your talent. Also, I could help with your books. I not sure how but I will make an effort to see things your way, I promise. And then we could play, eat good meals that I prepare, having our usual conversations and having back our life as before. No, not as before. It will be better. I won't make the same mistake. You don't think all that sounds great Mel? ... ... Mel? ... ... Mel!’’

But... he was not responding. He was smiling. But he was as stiff as a statue. And his half-open eyes had no longer any trace of sparks in them.

‘’... ... Hey. You're joking right. It can't be serious.’’

I gently tapped his face but there was no reaction. It did not feel like if I was touching something alive.

‘’Hehe, come on. You can't do this to me. Not after all that. Come on, come on, wake up. It can't end like this. It... can't...’’

The light of the lantern behind me was flickering. Just like my reason. My vision was becoming blurred and focused at the same time and my heart was shrinking so much, how could it still beat?!

‘’Why... ... why...’’

And why that damn smile was still plastered to my face while I was shaking more than a leaf and crying like a hysterical. And where does the ground on my feet had disappeared and I was feeling like I was falling, falling, falling, falling, falling I'm falling I'm falling I'm failing!

‘’Aah... aaah... ... ... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.’’

...

...

...

Sorry. I cannot tell you what happened next.

It's not that I don't want. It's that I genuinely don't know what had happened. I cannot remember. Each time I try my best to remember that moment... it's so blurry. No image comes.

I think all had become incompressible and that I could no longer think with words. I think I was submerged with so much feeling but which ones, I could not tell, I think I had even felt some that had no name.

I don't know what I did at that moment but... ...

When I came back to that place, something was different. My brot... what was left of it was no longer half-buried. His entire person was now fully covered in rock. You could easily forget he was even under that pile and if you don't know something was hidden, you will see, well, just that, a simple pile of rocks.

He is still there by the way.

But how did it happen? Did I do that? Did I covered him? It as to be me. It can only be me. But why did I do that? Was it too much to watch for me?

...

...

...

Anyway. Let me jump back to the part where I remember clearly.

I must be now in a pitiful state. I walked out of the mine into the outside, but it did not become easier to breathe. Breathing was so hard. My braid had come out loose making my hair a crimson mess though I don't remember how it happened. I don't even know how I had managed to get out of that dark tunnel without light.

I just stayed there without moving. Looking at the horizon without truly looking.

Then... I ran.

It just came to me. I had an uncontrollable urge to run away. Run away, run away, run away, I must run away. But, run away from what?

It's a miracle that I didn't hurt myself on the rocky path. I dart among the sea of trees, not caring where I was looking. I don't know why I had fallen but I did. I don't know if it had hurt or not. I'm sure I did not care.

I had stayed there, spread on the dirt. Not caring about anything.

How foolish it was. Of course I could not run away from it. It was impossible from the start. It is in me. What is even the point to getting-up? What is the point in anything? Better to just stay there.

I raise up my right eye to the sky. It was filled by a thick blanket of gray clouds. Oh right. I vaguely remember that I had heard that the weather ponies had scheduled a rain over the forest. I like the color of those clouds. It just like Mel coat.

I felt a droplet falling on my hear. It was soon followed by a torrent of water, showering me mercilessly.

I like that rain. I feel it was crying for me.

The water is cold on my skin and making me and my heart numb. I like that cold.

I closed my eyes and went to sleep.

How nice it will be, if I never wake up.

Author's Note

I can tell that a lot would be surprise and disgust by the attitude of Flo and how she treated her brother. Although I don't justify her actions, I also emphasize that her situation is very complex.

The first thing you need to understand is that Mel had a style pretty... intense. He knows how to dive in the deepest recesses of the heart and recognize what we fear and hurt us the most. If it was us, humans, that were reading his stories that we probably find it hard to read but great writing. But it is ponies we are talking about and they are very pure creatures. That kind of writing would be off-putting for them.

And it's especially true for the Happy Townians who surpasses ponies standard. Their devotion to hapinness could be called fanatism and it is very infectious. Once again, you might say Happy Town is not a realistic place but once again, I remember you this is Ponies we are talking about and in the show, we have often seen them going into rigid ways of thinking. Their purity have the potential to be their greatest quality... or flaw. Hell, the true job of the Mane 6 was in the end to give more emotional intelligence to Equestria.

Basically, it's a story of an extreme clashing with another extreme. That tragedy that have no name was only possible in Happy Town. Stay tuned for the final chapter of the backstory of Flo.

PS: Just in case you didn't understood, the texts in bold italics are when the present day Floral interrupt the story to put her personal thoughts. I would like to remember you that the flashback chapters of Flo are a transmission made from the memories of the present day Flo. So sometimes, the present day Flo causes glitches in that transmission. Especially when she gets emotional.

On a side note, I had once again put in that chapter, references to one of my favorite (sort of)novel. This time, they are more obvious. And they could help you understand just how tragic Mel books are.