C¯#&*t%r 9: The bad end before the bad ends

C¯#&*t%r 9: The bad end before the bad ends

Oh. Did you maybe think my story was ending here? It's true it kinda would've been fitting. But no, of course not. I did not die here. If not, then how could I told you this?

No. There are still more to tell. You have only seen half of it. My loss, and how he was my fault.

My fault myfaultmyfaultmyfaultmyfaultmyfault Oops! Sorry. I didn't mean to.

Let me tell you something about loss. When you lost something that could not be replaced... you have to change. It's inevitable. When you lost a love one, a part of yourself, your innocence... you can no longer see life the same way. An existential crisis, if you want to use layman term. You may have a vague idea about it. You may think you are safe from it. But take it from me. Nopony, but nopony, is safe from it. And if it falls on you, it can hurt you to the core if you are not prepared. I had learned that the hard way.

Alright. Time for the final part of my story. Where I was changed forever. And saw the deep of my sins.

This is the tale of the little blind angel. Who could no longer be blind.

It took me a lot of effort, but I managed to open my eyes and waking up from my dreamless sleep. Although I did not feel less tired.

I just lazily gaze around my surroundings. And it was then I realize something.

‘’Ah... drat... I am still here... of course. It could not be that easy.’’

Of course it couldn't. Who would die being while being bathed by a summer rain?

With some effort, I got back up on my four hooves. I don't know how long I had been there but the rain had stopped for a long time. It was warm, the air had the scent of freshly vegetation and the sky had clear up, now being filled with golden rays of sunlight. It was beautiful. I know it was not its fault, but I could not help but to think the good weather was mocking me.

I was just standing there, not making any effort to move. Not even making any effort to blink. I did not know what to do. No seriously, I was like I had forgotten how to have a single objective. My body was scratching me but I had forgotten how moving to reliefs myself. My tummy was growling but I had forgotten how caring about it. I should probably want to cry or be angry but I had even forgotten how to feel those feelings. Maybe I had forgotten how to 'want' at all. Working my brain, or the little that was left of it, I was trying to find something to do.

‘’... ... ... ... Maybe... I should go back home?’’

Finding it was an objective as good as any, I decided to do that. I walked towards my home at a leisure pace, jerking at every step. If somepony could see me, I probably would look like a broken puppet.

The streets of Happy Town were busy as usual. Dusk was starting to set but yet, the ponies were still so full of life. So happy and joyous. Doing their stuffs and chatting with their neighbors.

And there was me, walking among them, slightly beaten, my mane a mess and a heart that was dried-up. It was so surreal. To me, how they were all appearing was making me doubt if they were real. Maybe I was dreaming. Or maybe it was me the dream that was intruding in their sunny reality. Wo, that sure was a strange thought. But now it comes to mind that my pitiful state will probably soon make them alarmed. I am not even sure that I will care.

‘’Hey, but is it not Flo. Good evening.’’

‘’Huh! ... Oh. Hum... yes... good evening.’’

My answer to that greeting was more an automatic than a genuine greeting.

‘’It is good to see you. But I must say, you look worn-out. You sure work hard. I suggest you take a good night sleep. You definitely look like you need it, hahaha.’’

‘’Hum...? ... Alright? Thank? I... I will do that.’’

I waved at him without looking at him. He did not find it weird. Strange? My head was numb before but now I was starting to be genuinely confused. More and more passersby greeted me like if it was any ordinary day.

‘’Hello Flo. What a nice day we have.’’

‘’... ... Yes... yes I suppose we have.’’

‘’Heyyy, it's our little angel. Continue that hard work.’’

‘’Hard work? Which hard wo... ah! You think I am like that because... no that's fine. Good day to you.’’

‘’Good eveni HEHwo! Why you look funny like that? You have fought a bear or something? Haha.’’

‘’Huh?! ... No... No. It's... not that. I... I'm going home. See you later.’’

And many more greeted me jovially. All that was disconcerting and made the present moment even more unreal. They were seeing nothing wrong with me?! Sure, I did not look myself in the mirror and I had probably exaggerate when I'd say I was looking like a mess. But still, I surely did not look... 'alright'. Do they really were thinking that my appearance was the result of, I don't know, a funny anecdote. Well, they do have a tendency to fall on me because of my hector lifestyle. Still...

Does those ponies were incapable to imagine something bad had happened to me? Was it weird? Was I the one weird to think it was weird?

Regardless, this was not making me feeling so good. Why? Many was greeting me kindly and politely so why this was only making my head buzzing. I managed to reach the square but it was too much for me. I sat down and I looked at the sky without truly looking at it. It was like my cranium was about to explode and I was feeling my head twitching. Something in my throat was about to escape. But what? I did not know. It was soon about to come out when...

‘’Flo! Oh my dear Flo, but what did happen to you?’’

I lowered my head and in front of me was mayor Paternal, galloping towards me. Ah, but of course. If there was one pony that would be worried for me, it was him. The one who was family to me.

He looked at me from his imposing height with kind concern.

‘’How did you get like this? What had happened?’’

‘’Some... thing bad had happened.’’

It was impossible to say to all the other ponies that my brother was dead. I can't explain why. But for him, this ordeal would be easier. I had the feeling that I could manage to speak of it with him.

What I didn't expect was that at the moment I had said something bad had happened, I will get the attention of all the square. The sound of hoofsteps gradually diminished and all heads turned toward me. Then, like if a strange spell had been cast, they slowly trotted towards me with hesitation. As for the mayor, he grabbed me and embraced me in a hug while gently caressing my disheveled mane.

‘’Oh my poor Flo. It's just so sad to see you like that. Please, tell us what it is.’’

I thought I had no more tears but they were starting to leak once again.

‘’I would really like to. But it is so hard.’’

Because saying it at a high voice would be admitted it was true. It's stupid I know. But yet, I do want to say it, otherwise I feel it, it will kill me inside.

All the other ponies were now all around me. And they all had the same kindness as the mayor glittering in their iris. All for me! Was I really that blessed!

‘’No Flo, don't act like that. It is alright. You can tell us everything. There is nothing to be ashamed of. I and all of us are your friends and we will do everything for you.’’

‘’*sniff* Really?’’

‘’Of course. You are so important to us. The whole town sees you as family. And we cannot bear to see you miserable. You are our angel. And you are doing so much for us. So if you are feeling sad then we all feel the same.’’

‘’... ... ... Huh!!!’’

The feelings of safety that I had once, all vanished, swallowed by a deep abyss. Was he serious! Was he telling the truth? Does it mean that if I opened myself, they will feel the same pain as me like a disease! Well I am not dumb, I know what the mayor had said was just a manner of speech. But...

I frantically looked at all ponies that surrounded me with their warm. I knew them for years, I knew how they work even if I can't explain it well. And what I saw terrified me. Even if the mayor had said that in jest, he didn't realize that there was true weight in his words. They are not able to imagine me being in pain. For them it is something that cannot be. So what will happen when what cannot be will be?

‘’Your smile is our most precious treasure. So we promise, we will do everything in our power to give it back to you. Trust us.’’

I will give my burden to them! But it is so heavy, too heavy. What I feel is horrible. How could I wish that to others? It's too cruel. It might even be a spark that will start a fire.

‘’Come on everypony, let us all give our support to our dear angel.’’

The twilight was at its end. The light was dimming and the ponies surrounding me were darkening, becoming close to black silhouettes. Except for the pristine white of their eyes and smiling teeth to which the dark was accentuated their gleam to an unsettling degree.

Angel! Wait! That's right! What I am doing!? I am their angel. I am supposed to guide them. I am supposed to set the example. What will happen if I waver? What will happen if they are in pain because of me. Oh no, no no no, I can't do that, I can't do that, I can't talk, I can't say it, they must not figure it out, what should I do, what should I do... ... ... ... ... ...

That's right.

I am the angel of Happy Town.

I, am, the, angel of Happy Town.

‘’(I must not waver. Remember what you are supposed to do Flo.)’’

I raised my head to meet everypony gaze and said:

‘’Awwww. You know you really should have let me finish.’’

They all got confused by my answer. As for me, I was looking like a normal pony who was just slightly ashamed to have caused unnecessary trouble.

‘’You are putting too much drama into it. What I meant by 'too hard to tell' is that the reason how I got like this is... oh gosh, so embarrassing.’’

‘’What? What! What do you mean?’’

‘’You see I went to the forest because I, I had lost something there a few days ago and for a long time I had neglected to search for it. A... trinket by the way, a precious one to me. But when I had found it, it had been snatched away from me at the last moment. By... a bird, a black bird. I tried to, hum, get it back but I, hum, I got lost and disoriented and I fell on a pit making me a mess. So I am afraid I had lost it forever, haha. Well, you get the idea.’’

All the ponies who before were... I'm still not quite sure how they were. But the point is it worked and they became reassured and some even laugh. The mayor putted his hoof over his heart and breathed a sigh of relief.

‘’Oh it was just that. Of course, I should have guessed. Ah, it's all me, jumping too fast to conclusion.’’

‘’I'm really sorry to have scared you.’’

‘’No Flo. I am sorry for having been so silly. Turn out I might be a drama queen without realize it, hahah.’’

‘’Calling that drama... is a overstatement. Okay, it's not that I want to be impolite but I kinda need to take a bath. Right now.

‘’Oh! Oh oh oh yes, yes of course, let me not take you more of your time. See you tomorrow.’’

‘’See you tomorrow mayor.’’

I had said nearly in a sing-song voice. As I went back to my home with blue walls, all the ponies waved at me wishing me good evening. And I waved at them on my way. Once inside, I did a final farewell, closed the door//

All is now quiet, the sound of the outside world cut-off by the soundproof walls. No gazes on me. No distractions. Just me and my anxiety screaming in my chest.

I had laid my back on the wooden door for support and slid on it until I sat down. My breathing became ragged and the shaking came back with a vengeance. So I hold myself to calm them. Since I am now the only left who can do the job of hugging me.

‘’I must never tell them. I have to keep that a secret. Until I learn to get over it on my own. Get over it! Get over the death of my Mel! Never. I never will. I refuse to. But... but what about them who count on me to be... to be... oh Mel, what should I do?’’

I was completely lost. Again. I weep like a little filly. I was so sure though that I had spent all my tears.

A few days went pass. For the most part, I was staying cloistered into my house. First, because I didn't want other to see how depressed I had become. Secondly, because anyway, I did not have the energy to go outside. My house had become a sort of cocoon and the outdoor was no longer that welcoming. Those days had been so dull and empty and again, I feel that to say it like that does not make it justice. I had learned that it is not the day when you lost somepony that is the worst. It's the days after. You expect to find back at least a nudge of normalcy but the hole in your heart is too big and you are always remind that things will never be like before, no matter how much you wish for it. And nopony had taught me how to deal with that. Mel was right. I know nothing about grief. And I thought I was wise when I was giving advice to Twig Green. Ha. How laughable. I was nothing more than an imposter.

I was not always hidden at my home. Sometimes I was going outside, meeting other ponies. Because otherwise, people may start asking questions. Of course, I had to hide my true state and pretend that I was still the jovial and helpful little angel. Turn out, I discover I was pretty good at putting a facade. Good enough to convince all. Even myself sometimes. I wonder where I had learned that?

I feel I am getting off track. Ah right, my dull and empty days at home. There is not much to say since there was not much that was happening. I was just staying there looking at the distance, occasionally moving to another room to have a change of scenery. The only true work I was doing was cooking. That was painful for me because I was always making the mistake of making enough for two. Why I never learn?

But then, came a day when the loneliness was too much to bear. I wanted something of my brother, anything. So I quickly came to his precious books. I read nearly all of them.

This time it was different. Gone was the repulsion. Quite the contrary, I was liking them. My heart had darkened and it was raining in me. Oh! Now I am speaking like him. But there was a nice feeling at reading sad stories when you become pessimistic. You feel that at least in them, your gray views are being acknowledged. Also seeing the tragic lives of others when you were in a painful time was making you emphasize with them. Making you least alone.

I was finding true comfort in the stories of Mel.

But this new taste for his tragedies also in consequence gave me another feeling of guilt to add in the long list. It had hit me like a brick on the face. Moss must have really grown on my brain for not understood it sooner.

My brother was a genius.

His works were so intricate with a painful attention to details. I still wonder today on how I could not have seen that he was always putting his all. That there was so much love in his works. So much effort and care to make sure those heart-wrenching tales are of the toppest quality. And me, I had spat on his hard work!

How too late it is but now I felt I had never understood my brother so well than now. Now I see what he was trying to do. He wasn't trying to be cruel and to make us miserable for sake of it. There was a wisdom in his written words. He could see that pony feelings have the potential be dangerous if we're not careful. Or that they were many scary and threatening things hidden underneath the daily or even the beauty. And those are just those that came to the top of my head. And since I had experienced them first hoof, I could not deny them, even if I wanted to. But that just it. Mel never experienced them. He was able to understand those concepts by himself without the help of tragedies falling on him. How observant and smart he must have been. If I had been able to do the same, maybe he would not have died. And if not, maybe I would have been better equipped to deal with this gaping absence.

And I had the arrogance to think I was the wisest sibling! I was nothing more than a brat. It was him the true wisepony. But he had always been treated as a pariah. Yet, he never resented the world and instead only show us kindness as well to continue to educate us. Even if nopony listens.

So how could I have said all those things? How could I have been so high and mighty and rejected his lifework? I had understood nothing on his stories. Nothing.

And when that realization had dawned on me, I could no longer read his books. What was at first comforting me was now another reminder of what I did. It had even become too hard to just gaze at those volumes.

With the only tool to help me cope now lost, I don't think I need to tell you that I had reached my lowest low. And it was at that low...

than a strange idea came to me.

One day came when I had no longer the strength to do anything. Literally. I didn't even take the time to braid my hair. Even standing was too much effort. I just stayed lying on the floor of the lobby being morose. I must have stayed there for a really long time. I had no way to know the time apart from the position of the sun from the window. Come to think of it, I must have looked a lot like how I was the day... well, you know.

The big difference is I was not numb. No instead a storm was in my heart. Living alone in this house, that now was seemingly too big, was not easier as time passed on. No, it was harder and harder and today was the day I had reached my limit.

‘’*sniff* Mel. Where are you? Please come back. It horrible without you. The silence is painful. I want to see you so much that I expect to find you at every corner. But you're never there. I can no longer go outside too. My hometown whom I had once loved so much feel now too bright. Everypony is so happy that I feel they are mocking me. I... gyuuh... I no longer even believe in our motto. Ohhh what should I do Mel? I can't go outside but I can't stay inside either. Please Mel, help me help me help me.’’

I had lost control and I weep like a hysterical mare.

‘’I want to see you. I want to see you so much. Please come back, I will do anything, anything but please come back. I will apologize a thousand times, I will always be nice to you, I will support everything you will do, I will give the encouragement you had always deserved, I never be mean again, I will be a good girl I promise. I *sob**sob* I will never be mean again. I will... never be*sob*. Come back please. I need you so much. Where are you? *sniff**sniff*

I am here.’’

I jumped back in fright and hit my back on a pile of various stuffs, nearly making it tumble down.

I had heard him. It was the voice of my brother, it was so much like it. But the pony who had spoken it... was me!

I did not realize it at first but in my distress I had spoken with Mel voice. I had even forgotten that I can do that. That imitate his voice is something I can do very well. Thanks to my golden vocals cords that I always brag about. Without thinking, I had played pretend and acted like if he was still here. And... it worked. For just an instant but still, for a little instant, I had genuinely believe that Mel had come back. No. Not come back. More like... like if he was talking through me.

It may have been short but it was such a strange experience. My forehead was covered in cold sweat. My tongue felt dry. Maybe it was scared to say more words.

More words! When that thought came, I was surprised to find it... tempting.

‘’(What if... what if I do it again? Why... why not? What... bad would... ) There is nothing, *cough**cough* I mean, there is nothing to be scared. I am here as long as you want me.’’

My heart could not help but to make a small jump of joy. I was conscious it was a lie, and a very obvious one, but I was feeling better only by hearing the imitation of my brother. I had felt awful for days. Would it be so bad? Would it really be so bad if I play along for just a little bit.

‘’(It should be so easy for me. I had done that countless times. If I am able to trick other, then maybe I... ... it is so silly to think like that but, but I, I think I can do it, yes. I could even imitate his tones of voice and mannerisms to make the illusion more real. It should not be a problem, I know him so well, it should be a breeze for me. Oh but each time I will look myself in the mirror, then it will become more difficult to believe... ...!!!) Wait! Just wait!’’

That idea was crazy. But once I had it, I galloped toward at a closet and rummage its content, tossing items on the floor.

‘’It's in here, I'm sure it's in here.’’

And indeed, there it was. I put my hooves on that wooden box and put it close to my heart. I slowly opened the lid, revealing that beautiful gem gleaming with a sapphire light.

There was what I was searching. That stone, the magical artifact that Mel had shown me. With it you could become anypony you want. He had shown me how to use it. I had even tried it. It would be so easy to use the tool of my precious brother to change into anything. I could even become my... ...

I stretched my hoof nearly with reverence towards that jewel. But as I get closer to it, I realize that my hoof was trembling. I stopped at just an inch of it and could not move any further. I was hesitating.

‘’This is madness.’’

Of course it was. It surely was. But the true question was: should I really care?

Once my decision was made, I grabbed it in one swing and ran toward the closest mirror. My reflection on it was not pretty. My mane a mess, my dry tears, my ghostly face. Regardless if I was or not, I was truly looking like a crazy filly.

I held the blue gem dear to me and although I knew I didn't need to do that, I closed my eyes and pray to it.

‘’Please, change me into my brother.’’

I could feel the magic being operated on me. Once I opened my eyes... he was there! He was there in front of me. My brother.

I became enraptured by the sight of my new reflection. His face, his tail, his color, his cutie mark. It was him. Mel had come back.

‘’Mel! You came back. You are really here. Ah but I had always been here. And I will be as long as you wish for.’’

I cried tears of joy for the first in a long time. I put myself against the mirror because I really wanted to hug his reflection even though I knew it was not possible.

‘’Oh Mel, there are so much things I want to tell you. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry on how I had treated you. I was a fool, I thought I knew best but I was just a brat. It's alright Flo. You know that I already forgive you.No you shouldn't! I don't deserve it. You should be angry at me. I rejected everything about you and made you feel alone. It's alright I'd say. No matter what happens I will never stop loving you.I will make it up to you, I promise. I know you will. We have all the time in the world now. Yes. Nothing will separate us anymore. We'll be together forever. Together forever.’’

And the first time. The first time in a long time. I felt peace. I knew full well it was a twisted sense of peace. But for me it was still peace.

With the help of this... double life, I was feeling like I had been given a sort of crutch, helping me to walk again and to do my daily household activities. Indeed, the jewel was helping a lot. So much that was able to go outside again and meet other ponies to socialize and helping them.

But don't misunderstand. Although it was helping me, I was not fully healed. Quite the contrary, I was still a mess. But playing his role was giving me a lot of comfort.

Although, it's not like I had become delusional, for better or worse. I was well aware that it was nothing more than a child fantasy. I also could not keep up with the story that Mel came back. I knew I would not be able to believe it for long. So, I decided to make the story simpler. I pretended that 'I was' my brother. And yes. Just like that, without caring about logic and reason. One pony and yet two ponies. But it helps to keep the illusion alive and to keep the loneliness at bay. Most of the time, I just play a role. But at some moments...

At some moments... I genuinely believe I am my brother. And I have the same past, the same thought process, the same feelings, as him.

At some other moments... it becomes difficult for me to know if I am me. Or him. And when it happens... I make no effort to answer that question.

Of course, I always do it in the confine of my home. Safe from all sights. Since it would have been a drag to always hold the illusion jewel, I had a nice idea. I made the gem into a pretty necktie. I know Mel would have loved it. So each time I wanted to change, I just had to wear it on my chest and it always stays in physical contact with me. But like I'd say, I do that only at home with all windows shut tight. The reason for keeping that secret is I was fearing that if people found out about this, they would try to stop me because they would think I was insane.

They would be right of course. But for me, it was beside the point.

That double life, I had done it for, hummm, quite some time, sorry if it's vague, I had lost the notion of time during at that period of my life.

Then one day came. One day that was announcing to be boring. I just felt tired, there, just like that, without any explanation. Even though I had decided yesterday to take that specific day as a day off and to relax. I suppose I was feeling purposeless. Hoping to fight that lethargy, I went to Mel room at the first floor, pushed a desk and a chair against the open window, sat on the chair, lay my upper half lazily on the desk. And just look at the sight of busy streets, nice houses full of life inside and also of joyous ponies going their way. The sight of my Happy Town I am so proud to live.

It was true even to that day. And the reason if I had decided to quietly enjoy the panorama was because I was hoping to absorb all that positive energy that town was filled with. That energy that used to be mine too.

‘’Hummm. It has mixed results I would say. A shame. I was only half-believing it would work anyway.Well sure but it still frustrating. I make me wonder if I ever would go back to the day of the past.By my experience, days bygone stay bygone. It is useless to wish them back.Bleak. Well I fell bleak, thank you. *sigh* I know wishing for the past to come back is not healthy but... it's just too hard to give up on it. If I want to go better, wouldn't it be better to go outside and talk to them instead to just watching them? It does make sense, yes, but not today. I am feeling too depressed and if I go outside, they would all notice it. True. I wouldn't be able to hide it no matter hard I try. Yes, and they must not see that otherwise I might hurt them by showing to them that I am hurt and that would make me a failure as an angel. No, better stay here and hoping I could smile better tomorrow. That must be hard.Yeah. It is hard.’’

Had I mentioned that having those kinds of self-conversation was hard work for my brain. Enough to often end up with headaches.

Anyway, I continued to watch, hoping to find I-don't-know-what. It was then that I had spotted mayor Paternal. He had a piping hot pie balanced on his head and was going toward my door. Once he put it down before it, he knocked on the door but hearing no answer, he went back on his way but was greeted by a pony. From all the splash of dry paint on him, I easily recognized him as the director of that art club.

‘’Hey, hello there mayor. Nice to see you too. What are you doing?’’

‘’Nice to see you too. I am just here to bring to dear Flo a delicious pie I had made myself. I didn't see her today so I was worried that she might be sick. So I thought a tasty pastry would do her good.’’

‘’Oh, that so sweet of you. Wait! A meal full of sugary and fat lipids is good for a sick pony?’’

‘’... ... ... Oooh. That idea was sounding way better in my head.’’

From where I was, up there, I could see them without problems. But for their angle, it must be impossible to see me. Since I was not in the mood to interact, I decided to listen to their conversation discretely.

‘’But what 'you' are doing here? I don't often see you on that part of town.’’

‘’Nothing really special mister mayor. You know that Melancholia often comes to me to give some of his paintings for me to exhibit.’’

‘’Yes, I... I know that. What about it?’’

‘’Well naturally, I cannot accept them because... well, we all know well the reason why.’’

‘’*sigh* Yes I know that too. I am sorry on his behalf.’’

‘’Nay, it's not your fault. Of course, I try to refuse the more politely as I can but he always came back later for more and it becomes more and more difficult to find excuses. Especially when he became so desperate that he was now giving his paintings for free. But then I had noticed that he didn't come to me to see for days. This got me curious and since I was in the corner, I was wondering if I could get a glimpse of him. That all really, I just wanted to see if he was still there.’’

‘’Oh you will not find him and there is no mystery behind that. He is out of town. Flo had told me he went away on a trip for finding inspiration. That why we had no sign of life from him.’’

‘’Ah, that explain all. Yes, now that I think about it, it's not the first time he does that. How long he's gone away?’’

‘’Well... hum, let me think, I... I'm not quite sure. For quite some time I can tell at least. But how long exactly? ... ... No. No sorry, I really don't know.’’

Wait! They didn't notice he was gone? Well yes, they did but I mean... they forgot about it? I had tried to hide to all that Mel was gone but this conversation made me realize that if I had done a job so well was maybe because nopony did inquire on his whereabouts. Nopony found it curious there was no sign of life from him for so long?! They didn't ask themselves any questions?!

‘’Well, there's nothing to be ashamed of, mayor. I must say I understand you. With so many days without him, it is hard to resist the temptation to forget he was even there.’’

!!

‘’Oh there there. It's not alright to speak ill of somepony behind his back.’’

‘’It's alright mayor. No one can hear us.’’

‘’I know but I feel I am betraying Flo feelings.’’

‘’Yeah I understand that but what if Flo was not in the picture, what would you say?’’

‘’Well, hummm... I do admit that now that he is away... it is quite a breath of fresh air.’’

!!!

‘’The town I look over is the perfect place to live and its peoples the best ponies there can be. Every day could be perfect as well. But he always throws a black splotch that forbids those days to be truly perfect which is such a shame. I did try my best but he is just too funny in the head to be one of us. But I can't say anything because he technically never cause us trouble and our dear Floral is always on his side. But of course she is. She is wonderful like that. The best we can do is make like if he was not there.’’

!!!!

‘’But now mayor, he is really not here in Happy Town. There is no reason to blame yourself for not noticing his absence. As seeker of happiness, we should profit to the maximum of the days without him. Personally, I had even forgotten for a time that he existed in the first place.’’

!!!!!

‘’I guess you're right. The best we can do is to enjoy our time free of Melancholia before he came back. I realize that now that our devia... hum I mean black sheep is gone, now we are all back to a pack of pristine white. Happy Town is back at the most perfect it could be. I guess we should thank him for going out for so long. It might be mean to say that but...

it would be nice if he never comes back.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What? WHAT! How! HOWWWW! How can he say such things! When I had heard his words, my eyes opened wide and went bloodshot, I was pressing my hooves on the wood with so much strength, given by the sudden rush of anger, that they were close to put dents on it and I was fixating those ponies with a maddening concentration.

How could they say such cruel words towards my brother! How could they! How, how could he! Him of all people. Paternal was practically family, he was... and he, he, Mel... I, I, I, I thought, yeah sure he was openly expressing his disapproval of my brother passions but I thought it was because he was worried about Mel being rejected by our society. But speaking like that, it was like he was seeing Mel as a parasite to it! A parasite! My brother!

‘’(He never did anything wrong! What did I do to deserve such resentment? Nothing. I was kind to them and I had never forced my beliefs on anypony. But they nearly speak as they wished he did something bad so he could have an excuse to kick him up. That's, that's vomiting.)’’

Those two ponies were continuing chatting pleasant conversations like if the subject of my brother was not something to be ashamed for. How can they not see what they just did? What had happened to them? How did they become so cruel? What causes them to change.

But I as looked at their faces... I got a feeling that was close to being spooked. Their smiles were genuine smiles of happiness. Their eyes were glittering with a joy devoid of any malice. Their body languages were exulting openness. Just like they were always were. They were the same. They were the same! They did not change, they were at their natural selves! They were really believing they did nothing wrong! But... they are so nice. You can't be nice and cruel at the same time? Can't we?

‘’(But... I did the same. I did the same as them. I'd always thought it was a problem with me but could it be... could be it was a problem that all Happy Town share?! We are supposed to seek happiness on all its forms. But does that mean that because something does not fit with it we should see it as an enemy that's better be left out of view?! But that's cruel. It is so unfair. I am not even against them. I am just thinking differently. So why they reject me so?)’’

Mayor Paternal and the other pony separated and went their ways. As for me, I was still grasping how that kind of mentality, this ostracization could be allowed. Was it not going against our motto? And yet they were doing it because of that very same motto. If those two were doing it, then... then does all the others were thinking the same!?

My gaze drifted towards all Happy Town. And especially towards all those ponies who were its beating heart. Were they all having the same hatred towards my brother? Does under the pretty facade of those joyful and happy ponies were festering ugly feelings in them? Were... does... I... ... Wait!

‘’What I am looking at?’’

The... experience had lived at that moment had been so strange. I cannot explain it.

I was seeing the ponies, the ponies that I was seeing every day, living their life. That simple act used to make my heart warm but now... now something was different, something that changed all and yet something, I could tell, that had always been here.

‘’Hey brother. Did you hear about the new disco club that had opened?’’

‘’What seriously!’’

‘’Yeah. We should go enter in it.’’

‘’Too awesome. I'm in.’’

‘’And we should also bring our friend Summer Respite into it.’’

‘’You're sure about that? What if she does not like dancing?’’

‘’Of course she would like that. What kind of monster does not like dancing?’’

It was the same ponies but it was not them. It was them but it was not. I was not recognizing anything that was in front of me. It was like I was seeing them for the first time.

‘’Look at that scar on my leg. I got it during our ski trip at the Dangerous Sport Club.’’

‘’Coool. It looks like a snake. How you got it?’’

‘’I rode the mountain while playing a grand piano. No I'm serious. Man, it was so sick. Totally worth that injury.’’

‘’Are you for real! A piano! That look so fun. Now I join that club for sure. I can't wait to live the same rush of adrenaline as you.’’

Shock was the only thing coursing in my brain. My bloodshot eyes were darting in all directions, not being able to stop and each time, not believing what they were revealing to me and the images were far to be pretty.

‘’Look at this everypony. I got an exclusive ticket to the next musical. The best seat no less.’’

‘’Lucky guy. Does it ever happen that you miss at least one.’’

‘’Never in Tartarus. I love those shows too much. All those lights and colors. This is life.’’

‘’But those tickets don't cost a lot?’’

‘’Oh yes. I even nearly ruined but who care about monetary difficulties. Stay in the present, the present.’’

A pit was forming in my stomach and more and more the ponies that I used to love were showing me their hidden never really hidden sides, more and more that pit was growing and I was powerless to stop it. I was wondering how it could be possible to go so deep.

‘’*cough**cough*Mommy, I don't feel so good. I think I must have caught a cold.’’

‘’Oh my poor little pumpkin. But I know just the thing that will help you. I had planned to go to that comedic show tonight. I will bring you with me, kids can go too. I guarantee you will burst of laughter.’’

‘’Laughing will be *cough**cough* good for me?’’

‘’Sure. Laughter can heal anything, you will see.’’

They had changed, they had all changed into something monstrous, something not repulsive but dangerous hidden under pleasantness which was making them even more horrific. I wonder how could my eyes could have been that close for all these years and yet I wished them to be closed once more but knew I no longer could do that again because I no longer needed to see them to now guess what they were truly inside.

I was scared. Scare scare scare scare scare scare more more more more and more! MY TOWN WAS SCARING ME! Falling falling falling falling falling I CAN'T STOP FALLING!

In my panic, I tumbled my chair down and I fell with it. Not even taking time of even getting-up, I crawled backwards with just my upper hooves as support, wanting to go far away from the window showing me the town that was now frightening me. I tried to scream but only pitiful moans were coming from my throat.

When some senses went back into me, I got up on my hooves and galloped far away from I am not sure what. This had happened a lot in my life recently. Not paying attention to where I was going, I did not see the stairs. I missed the first step which means I had missed them all. My body rolled down the stairs but I don't remember the pain. Once I hit the floor, I just stayed there, back on the ground, my hooves all spread out and me looking up in an absent way for a long, long, long time.

I was still conscious. But it was too much for me to bear. Mentally and emotionally. So I guess I just... shut-down.

...

...

...

I would normally say that time has passed without me noticing it but I say that far too much time. It was starting to becoming a bad habit.

When my head stopped being on holiday, I slowly raised myself. Once on my four feet, I did not know what to do so I just walked forward. With nothing better to do I looked around me. My gaze fell on a wooden box full of painting supplies. I took it on my hooves.

And smashed it down, exploding it in splinters, all its content flying while in my volcanic mood, I pushed a table, tumbling it down and all the stuff that was over it in a deafening cacophony, which among them was a book, a book that I bite on in mid-air and send it flying toward the mirror which exploded into hundred of fragments all reflecting my anger.

‘’WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? WHAT ARE THOSE PONIES? YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT'S WHAT THEY ALWAYS HAVE BEEN! THEY ARE REPULSIVE AND YET THEY STILL SMILE AT THEMSELVES! IS THIS WHAT THE IDEAL OF HAPPY TOWN IS SUPPOSED TO LEAD? IS THIS WHAT I HAD WORKING HARD FOR ALL THOSE YEARS?’’

With a swing of my hoof I smashed a pile a book and they flew in every corner.

‘’CARELESS, IGNORANT, SELF-CENTER, NAIVE. AND... INSENSITIVE. THAT'S WHAT YOU ALL ARE DEEP DOWN AND YOU'RE TOO DUMB TO SEE IT. I WAS TOO DUMB TO SEE IT. SO THAT WHAT SEARCHING FOR HAPPINESS LEAD TO! IT'S NOT BEAUTIFUL. IT'S DISGUSTING. YOU HAVE LIED TO ME, YOU ONLY TOLD ME LIES.’’

I took some fabric and tear it apart with my teeth like some savage beast.

‘’HOW COULD YOU HAVE DARED TO REJECT MY BROTHER LIKE THAT. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU WERE SO SPECIAL TO TREAT HIM LIKE THAT? HE WAS THE TRUE WISE ONE, HE WAS RIGHT FROM THE START AND YOU WERE THE TRUE OBSCENES.’’

I smashed other things but now I was no longer able to tell what they were.

‘’LIES LIES LIES LIES LIES. FROM ALL THIS TIME YOU HAVE ONLY TOLD ME LIES. YOU HAD TEACHING NOTHING BUT LIES WHO AT THEIR TURN WILL ALSO TEACH LIES AND I... ... I...’’

My rage abandoned me. At its place came a feeling of panic that was making me no longer able to breathe. That and also guilt. Lots of guilt. I sat down and looked at my trembling hooves.

‘’I... did the same! I too had taught those lies! I believe them and so I had passed them down and contributed to rotten our town. I am no better than them. I am no angel. How many pony I had helped to become... become like us. Oh Mel. I'm so sorry. Forgive me forgive me forgive me. You were the one was right all along. You were smart enough to see the fault in our way but I was too blind to see it. Forgive me for being the worst sister in the world.’’

I went to weep but this time it didn't last long. I dried my tears as a firm resolution formed into my heart.

‘’No. I won't let it end like this. I will find a way. What Mel wanted was to help ponies with his message. I was able to see that we were not going into a right path and I could not ignore it.Indeed. He wanted to open our eyes but failed. But he had managed to open mine. Even if it was too late. His message is too important to be left forgotten. Then... I will continue his work for him. I will show to the world the consequences of ignoring pain. They will see. I don't know how but I will find a way. I am the one that always find way to fix problems. It is just the biggest one that I face, that's all. Yes. I will expose the fraud that this treacherous pursuit of happiness is.’’

The pain that resides in me, I used to wish it went away. But now, I decided to hold a firm grip into it, and spread it into all my being. I smiled. Just like my brother used to. If I want to follow his way, I may as well imitate the best.

‘’Alright, first order of business. So Happy Town think Mel is gone for good. Not on my watch. As long as I am here, I refuse... that my voice be shut-up.’’

A perfect morning came. Birds were chirping. The sun was shining. A nice breeze was flowing.

Before my house, the mayor was passing along two other ponies. They seemed to laugh at a joke they told themselves. I chose that moment to go outside and talked to them.

I opened the door. The creaking sound alerted the mayor and he looked at my direction with a smile.

‘’Ohh Flo! Finally she goes out. We were starting to get worry that you were... not... well...’’

He realized then that it was not the pony he was expecting. Instead was a pony of gray coat and mane, blue eyes, a teardrop cutie mark and a bleu jewelry necktie on his neck. Instead of me, the pony the mayor saw was, meheh, me.

‘’Mayor Paternal. So good to see you. It had been such a long time. Did you miss me?’’

‘’Mel! Oh. You are back I see.’’

‘’Why are you making those faces? You like as if you had seen a ghost.’’

‘’Huh! No please don't take it like that. It is just... we have not seen you for so long. We kinda//

‘’Forget that I even existed. Yeah sorry on that, it's all my fault if I had neglected you, I just did not see the times pass.’’

‘’Sooo... I guess it means you had a nice trip.’’

‘’Oh that was all a journey. Very eye openings. Go to so many places, even got a little souvenir, the one that I am wearing. Buuut... there something I find peculiar.’’

Before those ponies, I slightly tilted my head to the side to better show my incomprehension.

‘’It might be just my imagination but... when you saw me mayor, no, when all of you three saw me, did I not sense... disappointment?’’

Oh that sure made a reaction. They all got flustered and their eyes were darting left and right in shame.

‘’Hum, no, no! Mel, how can you say such a thing? Of course we are glad that you came back.’’

‘’Hehehe, sorry sorry, I just jest, that's all. Don't make those faces, of course I don't think that of you. Anyways, you won't have to worry about me being gone once again because let me say this, I am here to stay.’’

Life got back to normal. Okay sure, this is an overstatement. I meant it was normal for Happy Town. I was going back to doing my job as an angel, well more like pretending but it is the same for them, and giving to the people the image of a perfectly happy filly. Sometimes I was going outside, taking the appearance of my brother and acting like him. That way, they did not doubt he was still alive and who could blame them, my disguise was flawless. I was not doing that often. Once or twice a week I would say. He was a recluse anyway. Why I was doing that? Because he needed to still be here. His voice must still be heard. Besides, becoming him was now natural for me. I was considering that he was me after all. It's still hard to explain.

Of course, we could not be both be at the same place because there was just, well, one of me. But that subterfuge was more easily done than you may think. I had discovered that Happy Townians were not that good in asking questions for themselves.

Now, for the part of me wanting to crush the twisted philosophy of my town. That, was more tricky. I was determined to do it but the problem was that at that time this idea was... just that, an idea. I had no plans. Not even a glimpse. At that moment, I was in my room, prancing in circles, pondering like crazy on how to put my brother vision into the thick skulls of ponies. It was not going well, nothing came to mind.

As I keep pondering, I saw a rolled-up paper at the feet of my wall, half-hidden under my drawer. With mild interest, I grabbed it and rolled it up. It was my poster of The Mane 6. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy and of course, Twilight Sparkle. The ponies that used to be my idols.

‘’Oh yeah, I completely forgot that I have this. So much had happened. The poster must have come out by itself and roll up there.’’

I hold the poster in front on my face and looked at the six ponies on it, wondering if they could stir any emotion in me but... nothing.

‘’That's right. I used to look up to you. No, Mel is right, venerating you is the more correct expression. But now... it seems so long ago. Well, not that long but that how it feels for me. I was seeing your words as wisdom. But... what helps your lessons were for me when my brother died, huhh?’’

I was feeling anger slowly but surely building up inside and having difficulty containing it, I crumpled the poster between my hooves.

‘’You are no different from them. Giving only superficial lessons that amount to nothing and yet so many follows you. Just like I did the same as you. The difference is that it's a 'whole' country that is on the grasp of your teaching. Does that means that all Equestria is AS CORRUPTED AS MY TOWN?’’

I raised my hooves to throw away in a corner that accursed poster but...

I held back my throw. And instead gently rolled it and put on my drawer.

‘’Maybe I am too harsh on you. I did say you are like me. I am sure you have the best of intentions and are really believing that you make the world better. We all are. But that is why it is so hard to find the true way. Alright. Let us forget about that and go back to the problem at hoof. How to change the way of thought of the ponies of my town and if possible, beyond it?’’

That was tricky, tricky indeed. It was not like I could continue his literary works and write novels as him. I couldn't, I just couldn't. I don't know how to write stories, and especially tragedies, just like he does. His genius was incomparable. Beside it had not worked anyways. It made no difference. No, if I want it to succeed then I need something more... bigger. Something more flashier. Something that would take so much place that it would be impossible to deny it.

‘’But how to do that? How? That's the question. What can I do in the first place? As I had always said, if you want to create great art then it is always good to have the most tools you can at your disposition. Well yeah sure, but what do I have at my disposition? I am just a simple filly with a house full of craftponyships. Not a lot I can do with that. There must be a way to get more help or more tools. ... ... ... BUT WAIT!!! Wait. The ruins! I completely forgot them too! Those mysterious ruins possess a lot of incredible machines and a weird technology. Mel even had said it was futuristic. And we even barely scratched the surface of what they can do. If I find the way to properly use that technology then I will be able to do... hum, I don't know, stuffs. But that could at least give me some help to accomplish my wish.’’

So tonight, when everypony went to sleep, I went towards the ruins, well decided to use what they had to offer. At that time, I had still no plan forming in my head. But it was logic that I will find more tools at my disposal. It was like playing cards. If you have more cards on your hooves then you have more chances to make good hands. What did I have to lose.

Also... it was the place that Mel was fascinated. Those ruins were full of his feelings. When that thought came to me, I saw that as a sign. A sign that...

maybe the answers were really in there.

I was sure it would have been hard to pass in front on my brother corpse. Even if to my surprise, it was now covered in a pile of rocks. But he was still under it. I was expecting it to be painful or that I will even go into a breakdown again. But now. Nothing of that sort. I think I even felt a slight comfort as I walked before his hidden remains.

Did I really become such a morbid pony?

Back to the main topic. I did not lose time and quickly went to that big machine, ah you know what, let call it a monitor from now on since it is what it is anyway. I went to the monitor because I knew that my best chance to fully understand those ruins was with it. I had a rudimentary comprehension on how to use the monitor but I was expecting it will be difficult. Turn out... it had been so easy it was nearly anticlimactic. Nearly.

Finding the bits of info I wanted had been so quick. Although I could not understand the language, every subject was so well classified that you easily understand what categories and subject were with a simple trial and error. I understood a little more about the layout and those blocks, but what really captivated me were those ancient and state-of-the-art machines hidden in those ruins. I discovered that there were rooms full of these. And I even knew how to use those machines because the instructions were always coming with detailed images explaining everything so I had no need to read the words. And there were all kinds of machines. Some that look useful, some that are mind-boggling, others that were... dangerous.

The ones that interested me the most were those cubic monitors. From what I had learned, those machines can show at a place what is happening at another one. Kind like a movie. Except it is in real time. Why did we equestrian never came up with this idea? But my imagination ran wild, very wild. It means that if I knew how to properly used them, I could maybe show what I had in mind to a lot of ponies in one shoot. And not just Happy Town, but all Equestria. If I knew how to properly use them that is.

But the answer to that question came to me so easily. Like if that monitor before me wanted to help me, the next machine it showed me, the one that was topping them all, was... I was at lost for breath.

At the very heart of that complex, a white chair was resting. No, not a chair, more like a throne. And from what the illustrations were telling me, it seems that whoever sat on that throne could gain control of... well, everything. Every machine, the whole ruins, even to my surprise the walls themselves. The pony on the picture was depicted as moving all that as easily as if it was additional hooves. No wait! That was exactly that. The pony on the throne was becoming the machinery of the ruins! And that throne was right there for the taking! Do you know how I had felt?

I was feeling as if fate itself was on my side.

I did not immediately go to the throne. It was so much, I needed time to process that discovery. So I went back to my house. But I could not rest, no, I was far too excited for that. All my prayers had been magically answered. Well, okay, far from it but I was feeling close, so close to my goal. There were just a few little details, oh alright, more like gaping details, to solve.

Before me was a lot of paper sheets spread on the table. I was trying to put ideas on them with the pencil on my mouth. A shame that inspiration was refusing to give me ideas. The sheets were still blank. And the pressure and nervousness was giving me a furious urge to lick my lips. Which I couldn't because of that damn pencil that had no use.

‘’Come on Flo, come on. Concentrate, concentrate. Rights now, you had acquired the perfect stage and the way to show it to all. But all that is useless if you have nothing to show for. What could be powerful enough to make them open their eyes. Hummm. Hummmmm. Huuuuuuuuummmmm. AHHHH, nothing came to mind, nothing. *sigh* Right now, what I need is to take a deep breath and calm down. It is always with a clear mind that idea comes. Right. Right. There is no reason to panic. I know that I will find the answer. I will change how they think. I am the proof. If me, a living symbol who inspires other to follow a naive ideal can change her way, then anypony can. ... ... ... A... living symbol... who inspires... ... ...!!!!! BUT YES, WHY DIDN'T THINK OF THAT BEFORE!’’

With adrenaline rushing in me, I ran across rooms to grab my poster, went back to my table, swipe away in one strike all the sheets that had been of no help and slammed the poster on the wood. I gazed at my former role models with such closeness and intensity that I could burn the paper.

‘’Yes, yes. It's you. You will all help me. You are living symbols just like me, no, even greater. You are adored not only by Happy Town but by all Equestria. If I can erase your optimism view and show it to all, then all the rest is sure to follow. But how to do that? Ah, of course, by the same way as me. Those lies are too ingrained in their mentality. Then I will need to make them live a crisis so terrible that it will make their views of the world crumbling down. Like a show that will traumatize all who see it. A show! Yes that's it! A show. I will put up a show. But it will need to be good and well prepared, and I will have only one shot at this. I will also need to bring the Mane 6 here. I don't how, but I will find a way, even if I have to force their hooves. Now I have a plan. And I will do it, oh may the heavens hear my words, I will do it. I will complete the quest of my brother and TEAR APART THOSE DAMN LIES.’’

And I tear apart the poster until it was nothing more than confetti which I threw high in the air.

‘’AND NO ONE WILL STOP ME.’’

The pieces that were once the image of those mares, fell like a pretty snow, dancing in the air in what was in my eyes a harmonious choreography.

The day after, was the day.

It was the day I decided to take the plunge. I just had entered the heart of the whole ruins, though it was surprisingly empty. It size might be compared to a auditorium but it was much bigger than that. As far as I could see, there was nothing more that space and white brightness. Except, for the throne floating right at the center above a conical altar and a set of stairs leading it to it. Although the road to it was long, I didn't rush and instead walked towards it at a leisurely pace. I had to treat that endeavor with respect. I was understanding now why Mel loved those ruins so much. I was even sharing his feelings. Sterile, bright, mechanical, and yet full of pain of the past and broken feelings lingering in the air. I was now seeing that place as a reflection of me.

I climbed the stairs one by one, bringing me closer of that chair of untold power. Its features were rough and rudimentary. It was a little big for a little filly like me but it will still be comfortable for me to sit on it. And once I do, I will gain absolute control of that place. I could move and shape it as I please. No, it will do more than that. Those ruins would become a canvas and I will be the artist drawing in it. I will truly become my brother.

I climbed the throne and sat on it. It did not lose time to work its magic on me. I saw on my extremities luminous blue rivers flowing with strict angles on my skin. The little fear I had felt, I snuffed it out. I could sense those blue lines coursing on my very muscles gaining more and more ground in my body until they reached my brain.

The sensation I had felt was unlike anything I had felt. It was like my brain had become bigger. The very core of my being was still the same but I had gained additional arms to gain control of. In a way, I had become the ruins. I could flow my mind to every parcel of that complex, every machinery of it and even every gadget connected to the system.

But I could not give them orders to follow. There was still one obstacle. The throne had already one master that was registered to it. But I could somehow understand that this position was classified as vacant. It would be so easy for me to override it with my mind and to register myself as the new master.

But before I could do, I had a moment of hesitation.

I understand that was I was about to do with those ruins was a bad thing. It was not moral. It was downright cruel. Should I just give up while still can? The Mane 6 used to be the ponies I admired the most. Should I really hurt them like that? Was I really doing the right thing?

But then I realized... it was way bigger than me. All Equestria was on a dangerous path to ignorance. If nothing is done, who knows what will happen. No. I must do this. For all that is good, I am willing to sacrifice myself and become a bad pony. I must do it. It is more than an obligation to my brother. I am the angel. And reason to be of the angel is to do good.

Are you surprised? Oh I bet you are surprised. That even now I am still clinging to that title. I had thrown away the philosophy of Happy Town, I had thrown away all they had taught me, I had thrown away the respect I had for them. But not that. I still see myself as the angel of Happy Town. I know, it is stupid. But I am not capable of separating myself from that title. That identity has been with me for so long. It is so ingrained in me that it is now part of my very being. I can't stop being the angel. That is why I must do the responsibilities that come with that title and do good.

So on that day, I crossed the threshold. I erased the vacant administrator authority and put me, Floral, as its place.

This was the day the ruins of the ancient civilization recognized me as their new master. The brightness disappeared and all became dark. Holographic screens appeared all around, bathing me with their sickly bluish lights and cubes came from above and below, floating around me like menacing soldiers with me as their queen.

This was the day... when Flo gave her soul to the demons.

Tic-toc. Tic-toc. The sound of the clock is the only noise filling my house in the dead of the night. Once again, I neglected my sleep. I have too much preparation to do. There are still some final details I need to perfect. I know what I going to do with the Mane 6. I will not just make a show. I got the idea of a game. A game of anguish. Each one of them would be put separately into a trial that will be taxing for their hearts and put them into a visceral anguish. If those trials are broadcast then they are sure to make an effect on those who see them. But I cannot do anything, those trials must be well thought. They need to be powerful to make an effect to all. They also need to touch each of the six on a personal level while also being subjects broad enough that they can be found in everyday life.

This will require a lot of work. I am not a tragedy master like my brother. But I had seen and even lived tragedy on a personal level. I can use my experience. Beside...

I turned my head to look at the shelf full to the brims of the many, many sad and tragic stories my brother had written. I did a small snicker at them.

Lucky for me that I had so much reference materials.

I waved goodbye with a smile to the foals which I spent all the morning to play. To which I also play pretend that I was still the old Floral, the happy-go-lucky one, and nopony saw through my act. Nopony ever does. But the truth was while I was playing games with them, my mind was preoccupied by something else.

As more of my plan for the game was progressing, more and more it dawned on me that it will be impossible for me to accomplish it alone. I would need to acquire help. But from whom? I had done all that in secret because I knew nopony would approve me. So who will be willing to help me in my morally questionable endeavor?

It was then that I caught sight of something... quite unusual. People that were not happy at all.

At the other side of the road, walking at a slow pace that does not seem quite natural, were two ponies, no no that's wrong. They are no ponies. They were... canine creatures with gray fur, walking on two legs? This is the first time I had ever seen them. Wait, now I know! They are Diamond Dogs. I remember them from one of the stories of the Mane 6.

But it was not because of their different species that they were contrasting. They were looking weak. Very weak. Their furs had lost their luster and they had skin on their bones, their clothes were not enough to hide it. It was enough to make me feel a pang in my heart, something I did not feel for a long time.

From their conversation, I understand they are brother and that the little one is the big brother. I recognize the caring of an older sibling. The older brother pointed to an empty alley between two buildings and they went there. Where they will be hidden from all gazes. I know for a fact that there is nothing in that alley except for garbage containers. No need to put two plus two to understand.

But I was in shock.

I was in shock and the reason had nothing to do with what I mentioned before.

It was their eyes. Especially the eyes of the big brother. There was so much in them. So many things that were... familiar. I am sure you will not believe me but I could read their lives as easily as an open book. I could feel that they were lonely and not accepted by anyone except for each other. I could feel that they had been victims of the harshness of life. I could feel the despair and sorrow that refuse to leave their heart.

We were similar. I could feel it in my bones, we were similar. I was now possessed with the urge to know more about them.

There was nopony on the street but I prefer being cautious. Behind me was another alley, this one dark and very narrow. One where I was sure it will be impossible to see me. I slowly walked inside and from my saddlebag, I took the necktie brooch and put it on my neck. The alley ended in a dead end covered in pitch black. I entered in the darkness. And when I turned around and went back on my steps under the light, I exited it as me.

Soon... it will be nearly done. My plan was nearly complete. There was just one piece missing and it that piece was in front of me. From the balcony I was, I was overlooking a weird shape tower structure. That tower structure was the final key. The key to bring all the Mane 6 to me.

I had discovered that over the millennia, the ruins had accumulated an excess of energy and that with the help of this machine, I could release it in one fantastic display that all the realm would not fail to notice. I had read the stories of those six mares for so long. I knew how they were acting, how they usually react to problems and even some of their inner thoughts. I was feeling pretty confident that I could successfully predict their actions. Or at least close enough. And I wanted to capitalize on that.

My plan was simple. Bold but simple. I was planning to use the ruins themselves as a lure. It will be certain to be such a historic discovery. How ironic that now I was planning to fulfill the responsibility my brother and I had promised to do. And once words would get out that of that site, then surely it would a mystery too big to resist for the greatest intellectual mind of a certain mare. And from what I had followed from their adventures and daily life, if Twilight go to a big event then she usually brings all her friends with her to share the experience. Those six are so close that they are inseparable. Now I was conscious that it was far from a foolproof plan and that I it was more akin to rolling the dice. She might just bring some of her friends or none at all. But I was willing to play the risk and besides, what I was losing in trying my chance. And there is something else. There was no doubt, absolutely certainty, that if only one of them come, then Happy Town would insist, more like beg that the rest come. That twisted town would be useful for at least something.

I had moved the contraption, well in truth I had moved the whole room to the summit of Mount Heaven, so that it could face the open and glittering starry sky. It would be so easy to hide that summit again once the deed is done. I won't bother you with how.

I made the holographic display appeared before me. All I had to do now was to push the holographic button on it. Technically, I could release the excess of energy from anywhere but I insisted on seeing the release from my own eyes. Tonight was not just the first step to my revolution of thoughts. For thousands and thousands years, the anguish of that lost people had been buried under rock, condemned to be listening and notice by nopony. And I will be the one to unleash their cry of anger and no ear would be deaf to it.

I pushed the button, and the growl of the machine coming back to life grew louder and louder. I just know it. Now, meheheh, nothing, truly nothing can be stopped.

It has been one month since then. After a long and tortuous waiting, the Mane 6 were to come today. My plan had worked. The mayor had personally confirmed to me their coming.

It surely could not come at a better time. That month had not been an easy one. During that time I could not advance my plan. There was nothing to occupy me. Except double checking what was already done and played the role of the normal Floral for the ponies of Happy Town. It's a miracle if had managed to play so well my facade. Deep down I was feeling like dirt and my heart was as dry as it. Everything was a blur and I was even doubting that I was really there. Why I was like that? Is it really because I had nothing to do?

I was not even able to rejoice they were coming today. Every minute was so painful it might as well as if they were never coming. I was not even able to have any enthusiasm. It was then that I took notice that without realizing it, I had walked to the outskirts of the town. And what more, I knew where the path I was walking was leading me to.

The spring. Our spring.

It seems I was feeling so bad that I wanted to go back to days of the past for comfort. Sometimes, I did not feel in control of myself. I am not sure I could fight that urge that came to me so I let my legs guide me to the spring.

Even in daylight, that place is beautiful. Like a piece of heaven. I had really wished to still be able to see that beauty. There is a tree with its trunk suspended above the water. I like to relax on that trunk. I put myself on it like I used to. The memories of happier days came rushing to me. It is painful, but this time I don't even care. How we use to play music on perfect harmony on that spring. My song of happiness. And his melody of sorrow. Now, that spring will never hear nether of them. As I went through the memories of my brother, I eventually finished at the last one. The one of his death. And about the song he had sung to me. His very last gift. And the last thing that is left of him. No, maybe more than that. He had said that song was one that our parents also sang to him. I lost my parents before remembering their faces and then my brother came after. No parents and no brother. I had lost all my family. I am all alone. So that song is the only link left of my family. But I still do not understand what it is about. Or why he sang it to me at the first place.

What he was trying to tell me?

What our parents were trying to tell him?

So to know if I could get the answers, I sang it at loud.

I... felt a slight moment of peace as I sang those lyrics who flew away with the wind.

But it did not last. As soon as I had finished singing the last word, I went back to my normal self. Could it be that I had imagined that moment of peace? And I was still no closer to figure out the meaning of that song.

It was then that I heard clapping of applause. Ponies were there! Seeing my true side! How did they sneak here without me noticed them!

‘’Who's there?!’’

In my surprise, I lost balance and felt face first on the water. Well, that what I thought would happen but somepony caught me with levitation magic and only the tip of my nose touched the watery surface. That pony then gently dropped me on the dry ground. All that was so unexpected, I was a little shaken. But flustered or not, better go back to my smiling facade.

I still no saw her face but from her profuse apology, I could tell that mare was even more flustered than me.

‘’Oh I am so sorry, we didn’t want to scare you and nether eavesdropping. We were just so impressed by your beautiful voice that we couldn’t just help but to listen. Please accept my apology.’’

Geez, that is over the top. She did nothing, she had even helped me, there is no reason to feel sorry. I hate pony like that. Who could be so nervous?

‘’Oh no it’s alright, it's quite alright. I am the one that shouldn’t have reacted like... that… ...!!! Is that you!’’

I can't believe it, my eyes must lie to me! How did I not recognize her! Before me stand a lavender unicorn with indigo hair with light-purple and magenta stripes running on them. Oh and also, she had a pair of wings. It was Twilight Sparkle! The Twilight Sparkle! And all her friends, the rest of the Mane 6 were there too! I had seen their image so many times that it is burned on my brain, of course I would recognize them. They are there! They are really there in front of me!

‘’It’s you it’s you it’s you it’s you, it is really you!’’

‘’Um yes, yes it’s me… … who I am supposed to be?’’

‘’You are Twilight Sparkle, the one and only. I can believe that you are here right in front of me. It is like a dream come true.’’

I was acting like a overjoyed little filly who just had the best day of her life. And technically, it was all true. But can you imagine how distorted my joy was? Can you imagine as I was talking to the kindest ponies of the whole world what was truly coursing through my head?

‘’(You are finally here. You don't know how much I had waited for you. But now I no longer... I no longer have to wait. Because you are the answer to all my prayers. Our world is so twisted by lies. I want to do at least for once some good for this world by tearing apart those lies. I could do it for real. And all because of you. Oh Mane 6 that I admire so much. If you knew how grateful I am. Because in a way, you are my saviors.)’’

That's right. And that duty of mine%*&%**&%*&%**&%*&%**&%*&%**&%*&%*And that duty of mine still continues.

I will never stop until it is accomplished. There is still more to be done.

You six are supposed to help me. You must come back to me.

I need your help

I need your help to fix my mistakes.

I need your help to educate the world.

The lies of happiness are still there The lies of happiness are still there

And as long as they are there, I will never stop crushing their evil and bring true good to the world. Ponies need clarity. Ponies need comprehension.

Truth must be understood

Truth must be understood

Truth must be understood

Truth must be understood

Truth must be understood

Truth must be understood

Truth must be understood

Truth must be understood

Truth must be understood

Truth must be understood

Truth must be understood

[END OF TRANSMISSION]

Author's Note

And with that, the backstory of Flo is finally finished. It sure took time but I am glad I completed it. Floral is a character that is dear to me and I was trying my best to make sure you could understand why she think and act the way she does. I insist by the way that I do not try to justify her actions because they are not. Nothing is an excuse to deliberately hurting other. But I wanted you to at least comprehend that she was the tragic victim of circumstances where she was powerless to control. Especially her environment. Focusing purely on happiness doesn't mean focusing on well-being.

On a side-note. If you think that Flo becoming occasionally Mel like if she had some sort of split-personality is a far fetch idea, well... . There exist a concept called tulpa. It is basically making a mental construction so convincing that the creator genuinely believe it exists. It's like making an imaginary friend but on such an intense level that it may seem as if it had sentience and is relatively autonomous and yes, sometimes can even act through you. It's more common than we think. That's what Flo use as a coping mechanism.

Alright, now it is time to go back to the Mane 6 and let me tell you, the action is far to be done. How our favorite mares will deal with the aftermath of that cruel game? Does Flo will just let them go? You will have to wait the next chapter to know the answers.

By the way, as a gift, here another image of Flo and Mel drawn by the talented hand of SkyeyPony.

You may had already saw that image. But it's only now that you will truly understand its double-meaning.