My little werewolf

When I woke back up, saying I felt like I’d been hit with a freight train would’ve been an understatement. I felt like Optimus Prime had just taken said freight train and beaten me with it. Yeah. It sucked. Combine that with the fact that I was naked, tied to a bed, and Rainbow Dash was pushing on my knee, which I guessed was broken from the fact that I screamed like little girl. Yeah. And you think your Mondays are bad. “What the fuck!?” I yelled at the top of my lungs, tears forming in my eyes. Yeah, I cried. You would’ve to. “Where am I? WHY THE HELL AM I NAKED!?” yeah… I definitely have my priorities straight.

“You shut the hay up, punk! I’m the one asking questions here!” she said, applying more pressure.

“OH SWEET BABY FUCKING JESUS! What the hell do you wanna know? I’ll tell you anything, just please, not again, I have a very low pain threshold!” I said, which was true. She looked at me in disgust. It killed me inside.

“Why’d you do it?”

“Do what? You have to be a bit more specific.” I said. She must’ve realized that I was right, cuz my knee was safe from harm.

“Why’d you free Discord?” oh… that.

“Shit…. Well.. This might take a while…. So long story short, I knew of your worlds existence, and under certain circumstances, was offered a deal for me to live here, all I had to do was sign a paper. I didn’t listen to the terms of the contract cuz I just figured he wanted my soul…. Which is something I can live without. Hell, I didn‘t even know it was him.” I explained, causing her to back up a bit.

“Oh……. Well that’s…… confusing…. But how do I know you’re telling the truth!?” she asked, getting all up in my grill. Yeah, I went there.

“Well, for one, if I’d known I would be turned into a blood thirsty beast every full moon, I wouldn’t have signed the contract. Two, had I known it was Discord, and signing the contract would free him, I would’ve just let myself go to hell. Other than that, you have no reason to.” I said, hoping it was enough to persuade her of my innocence. Which it was… kinda.

“Alright…. I don’t trust you, but I believe your story… for now. I’m watching you.” she said, undoing my restraints.

“I’m okay with that. I would be more okay with that if I had clothes on.” I said jokingly as I got up. I winced as my leg hit the floor. Yep definitely broken.

“Well your clothes were kinda shredded when you changed. you might want to take a shower though.” she said, taking one look at me and grimacing. I looked down to see my whole body covered in blood. I turned away from her and puked my damn guts out. Human death? I’m fine with. Animal death? I’ll most likely feel bad or cry. Pony death? Current example. I was crying and puking at the same time, and it sucked.

“What the hell did I do….” I wondered out loud when I was done.

“You ate a good portion of Ponyville!” came the voice of Twilight from behind me. “Rainbow, I thought I told you to keep him restrained until further notice!”

“But-”

“No buts! He’s dangerous, and he’s evil, and he’s-”

“Standing right here, thank you very much. I already feel like shit knowing Discord is free because of me. I don’t need you guilt tripping me Twilight. If anything, I think it’s best if you just send me home….” I said. I really felt like shit at this point. I knew that the odds were that going home would mean going straight to hell, but hey, at this point, I deserved it.

“Not until you help us clean this mess up!” she said, jabbing me with her horn.

“You weren’t listening to his speech, were you? If you send me home, odds are, I’ll be dead again. And I’m sure I’m the last person you want to see alive.” I said, and I had assumed that at least one of them had been listening to Discords little speech beyond the whole ‘he freed me, and I owed him one’ thing. I was wrong.

“Again?” Rainbow Dash asked. Why…. Oh dear god why…. I decided to just flash my wrists to them.

“Yeah. Again. Now, before you go off on a rant about who did this, and why, I did it, because my world sucks.” I said. The looked at me, looking really depressed. Depressed ponies make me depressed. Then Twilight spoke up again.

“You should still help us. Especially after all you’ve done.” and she had a point. Not a point I would accept from most people. But she was a pony.

“I’ll try to help… but I don’t know what good I’ll do.” I said. Usually, I was completely useless, but apparently, they had other plans.

“Well, after last night, I did some research on werewolves. It turns out, that even when not under the full moon, they still possess remarkable strength and speed.” she said. I almost cried.

“So…. You’re telling me I could have just freed myself through sheer brute force?” which would have been pretty bad ass, not gonna lie.

“If ya had, ah woulda had tah put ya down.” came the familiar voice of best pony. Let the hate mail be sent. It was worth it. I turned around to see Applejack. But not the usual, happy, completely fine Applejack I’m used to seeing. She was cut up pretty damn bad, and had bandages around her legs, gut, and neck. I almost puked again.

“Did… did I do that?” I was shaking now. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I almost killed my favorite pony. Or any pony known by the fandom, for that matter.

“Yeah. Ya did.” she said, glaring at me like she was about to fucking end me.

“Shit, I am so, so sorry Applejack.. For what it’s worth, anyways.” I said, turning back to Twilight and Rainbow. that’s when I noticed that Rainbow was pretty cut up to. Not as much as Applejack, but enough to catch my attention.

“Yeah, you got me to.” she said, noticing me looking at her wounds. Ddaaaammmmmnnnnnnnn iiiiitttttt!!!!! Why did I have to sign that damn contract? Sorry, just had to get that out. Better now. Moving on.

“Shit…… I feel like such a dumb ass… I shouldn’t have signed-”

“Signed what?” asked Applejack, who obviously wasn’t here for that discussion. I explained it all again. And again for the rest of the mane six. Yeah. And they decided to come in one at a time to, so I explained my situation a total of five times. Six, if you count the fact that Pinkie went to go get popcorn halfway through the last one, and had me start all over again. But, I was happy I hadn’t done any horrible damage to any of them. Fluttershy tried to pet me, which was oddly soothing. Wonder why…..

“So yeah. Then last night happened, and here I am. Now, can I please have some clothes? You have no idea how awkward this has been for me.” I said, much to Rarity’s delight.

“Oh, why dahling, why didn’t you say something earlier? You simply must come with me, I’ll get your measurements and get you into a nice suit!” I almost cried at the prospect of wearing another suit, but decided to just let her do her thing.

“Whatever. One thing though, I don’t want to wake up naked once a month, so if there’s anything you can do about-” I was cut off before I could say anything more.

“Why of course my dear, I’ll be sure to enchant it. That way, it wont tear when you change! Rarity, you are a genius!” and that’s when the HIGHLY unexpected happened. We were cut off. By Princess. Fucking. Luna. That’s right. We were cut off by the princess of the very thing I had to avoid at this point. And not the Nightmare night one either. She still looked like she had just been saved from being Nightmare Moon.

“I believe that he’ll need a suit…… of armor, that is.” she said, laughing at her little joke. I wasn’t amused at all though. I’m a huge fan of Luna and all, but that was just cruel. Either way though, I felt a strong temptation to kneel. Fought that off with some success. Instead, I sounded like a complete dickwad. Not sure which would have been worse.

“Care to explain why I’ll need armor, Princess? Cuz last I checked, a werewolf in armor is the last thing anyone wants to face…. Down…” I trailed off, realizing where she was going with this. “what kind of armor?”

“The heavy kind that makes you nigh indestructible.” she said with a smile. Which made me smile. Rarity, on the other hand, wasn’t smiling.

“But.. But.. But.. I already had his suit planned ooouuuut!” she said, making a very sad face. So many sad ponies. It was killing me inside.

“I’m sure you did, Miss Rarity, but he needs something more fit for battle, don’t you think? Considering the fact that Discords armies are gathering, and nopony who is still sane is really fit for war.” she said, now becoming dead serious. Serious Luna is scary Luna…. Very scary. But sad Rarity was killing me.

“Hey, you go ahead and make that suit. I’ll wear it when this is over, alright?” I said, causing her to let out the largest fan girl squeal I had ever heard before she bolted off.

“I see the show didn’t get everything wrong.” said Luna, her horn lighting up to heal my leg. Great. Another fan girl. And another discussion about the realities of our world. Awesome.

“Even a broken clock is right twice a day.” I said. I know, it was cliché, but it fit. Deal with it. “In all honesty, it wouldn’t surprise me if this show had me half right. Now, lets go get me this armor. I think I’ll need a sword and a shield to, if that’s not to much to ask for.” I said with a smile. I’d always wanted a sword.