Day 63, year 1, May 12th Saturday

Well, Stalwart was in a mood. Can’t say I blame him either. When he got to his combat training class today, Nightfall was moody. Now I can see him being generally moody anyway, but he and Stalwart were chosen to do some sparring, as the trainees are encouraged to do every day or so to stay in shape and practice the techniques they learn.

Apparently, Nightfall caught on quicker than the others, which is fine. Stalwart says it gives him a challenge to work on and Night is set to be one of the leaders of the class… except he started getting too into it for the trainers, including the drone who relayed the events to me. He started pushing Stalwart past what the lessons covered, except Stalwart wasn’t going down nearly as easily as before…

“What the hay has gotten into you night?” Stalwart half-yelled as Nightfall gave another set of kicks with his hind hooves and spun around to throw a couple punches.

A crowd was starting to form among the recruits, watching the fight unfold. Nightfall said nothing as he glared at Stalwart, swinging three times before giving his answer.

“Two damn times… Two damn times your wife has gotten my hopes up and let me down.” He growled.

“All right you two, cut it out, break it up!” the trainer said, getting between them. “You both did your practice, now go home, all of you. Day’s over.”

The crowd grumbled, a couple mentioning they wanted to see more but they all moved on as Stalwart and Nightfall stared each other down.

The trainer stayed between them, then stepped back when the room was emptied and locked the door, staying with them.

“What do you mean, three times she’s let you down?” Stalwart asked.

“You mean she hasn’t told you?” Night snorted.

“I mean that she still beats herself up over not doing what you had hoped despite doing her best that she could at the time.” Stalwart said firmly, not liking where this was going.

“Let’s see, she broke my mirror beyond repair, sealing me to stay a pony and away from everyone I loved.” Nightfall listed, “She failed to take down Svik and made him turn to me to get a body, but that I can say is partly my own damn fault… and now I found out from the labs that my world signature sends me back to the one we just came from. I don’t stand a chance of going home and she told me they could.”

Neither of the two stallions noticed the trainer who was staying to observe, nor the backup trainer who quietly joined them, updating the hive of the circumstances.

“First, Dawn cried over that mirror several times. She kept telling me how she would have felt if it were her and she didn’t let go of that pain for nearly a year, up until she ascended.” Stalwart said coolly, surprised and angry that he would hold onto such a grudge. “You even told her it was fine afterward, despite her going to you repeatedly to apologize.”

“It was fine because she paid for it with her coma from the backlash.” He snorted, “But with how much she apologized, all that told me is she did have the ability in the first place, or else she wouldn’t feel so damn guilty.”

“Then you really don’t know her…” Stalwart said quietly.

“The second thing was when she told me these ponies could help me get home. We just got the lab results… They’re tellin’ me my home world is the same one as Dawn and Storm.” He growled in frustration. “She got my hopes up for going home all over again!”

“As I recall,” Stalwart said coldly, “she and the commander told me that they said ‘might’ and ‘maybe’ and they would try to do what they could. The commander even told me how you told her you had given up going home… so which way are you going to have your cake Nightfall, because you can’t blame Dawn for your own failings. She already blames herself for far more than she should.”

Nightfall growled and started to swing at Stalwart, but Stalwart caught the hoof and moved to pin the Pegasus with his strength, ensuring he didn’t let go.

“Seems to me you’re slipping.” Stalwart said neutrally. He buried his anger at the stubborn stallion and continued his pin. “You’ve changed, and I don’t know whether it’s for the better. When I first met you, you were a charismatic stallion who showed a great deal of promise. You fought with skills none of us had seen, pushed us to become better amongst ourselves.”

“You don’t know anything about me!” Nightfall growled, struggling against the earth pony.

“Clearly, because after you established the patrol and did a lot of good for our Equestria, you were in your prime. You got the bracer from Dawn for making up your lack of hands so you didn’t have to learn writing with your mouth, you got a full suit of armor from the princesses for getting the patrol going, made a lot of connections… And yet when you had the mirror break, you changed… Dawn and the princesses know you were stealing artifacts from museums and other places, though they didn’t know why. They kept quiet for your sake, you had proven yourself loyal to Equestria.”

“I still fucking am!” he roared, finally breaking Stalwart’s grip. “You can recite my history, that doesn’t mean you know a bucking thing about who I am! ”

"Your beliefs inform your thoughts. Your thoughts inform your words. Your words inform your actions.” Stalwart recited, ready to face off against the Pegasus who now was standing on his back legs, “Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny.”

“Quoting knockoffs of Gandhi doesn’t make your point.” Nightfall said as he moved in, starting to jab, kick, and punch as best he could.

Stalwart continued to block, never returning a blow as he answered. “You’re the one acting like a foal here. Dawn is a foal at heart, but she’s no fool, and she’s doing the best she can with what she’s been given and what she knows… can you say the same?”

“All right stallions, that’s enough.” The lead trainer said. “I’ve let this go on too long as it is. Night, let go of your baggage when you walk through the door. When you walk in here, you’re acting on behalf of the guard. You leave your work troubles at work and your home troubles at home.”

“Yeah…” Nightfall said coolly, rubbing at the bracer-like item on his foreleg. “Whatever.”

Stalwart stood and watched him go. Once the door closed, the trainer let out a sigh of relief.

“Good job handling that one Stalwart. You didn’t let him get under your skin.”

“That was easy for me… he has nothing he can hurt me with other than insulting my wife, and he should know better than that. Once she becomes strong enough for combat, nopony will stand up to her when she gets mad.”

“Oh?” The trainer chuckled, “that kind of mare eh?”

“Even if she weren’t a princess, she is ferocious when she has something to protect or care about on the line.” Stalwart said, staring the trainer in the eye. “I watched her take on Svikopi on the inside, fighting her own magic until she deliberately shattered her horn so others would stay safe. She’s a strong one, even if she doesn’t know it yet.”

He whistled, “Damn. Yeah, I’d be honored to get the chance to teach someone willing to do that. She’s got more guts than most of us in the guard.”

“Don’t you ever forget it.” Stalwart chuckled.

I was sad on the inside, knowing that he otherwise still blamed me for those things, but I was so proud of Stalwart for standing up for me. Yes, I know he should because he’s my mate and husband, but it does me a world of good. He helps remind me of how much I had to do to get where I was, how what I did was worth it. In a way, I’d say he is a shield for me against everything, including myself.

I’m going to make sure he is rewarded well tomorrow. Gotta show him exactly how much I appreciate he’s at my side and keeps me afloat. Almost have to laugh at his name only for irony’s sake. He really can be my Stalwart Shield.

Ok, pun time over, time to get to bed unless he wants that reward tonight as well. Later!

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Day 64, year 1, May 13th Sunday – Stalwart’s Journal

I don’t know what got into Dawn today but I’m definitely not complaining! I woke up with her at my side while Zera looked after the foals, treated to a breakfast in bed (she really needs to learn how to use spices, I’m just saying), and then the two of us spent some more quality time together for the rest of the morning.

I can say her exercising has really helped with her endurance, and I’m not just talking her running times. She’s really gotten a lot more confident and is growing in her own charm. She’s no longer the slightly chubby little lime pony I met her as and that she stayed up to when she ascended. She now is a nicely toned thing. Sure she’s still rounded in most places, but you barely notice any fat on her and I can feel the muscle under it very easily. She’s slimmed down and gotten even more attractive.

I had to dig out what the special occasion was. She likes playing coy even when she’s transparent as glass to me. She goes out of her way for things mostly because she feels an obligation or because something else is going on.

I didn’t realize the hive had seen my little confrontation with Night yesterday. It explained a lot and she was really clingy and smothering me for a good part of the day. I laughed, cause I was just doing what I should be doing as her husband, and she laughed because she said she was doing the same.

I think she suspects my goal that first time we met was just me hoping to get lucky with a mare, but she wasn’t wrong. I didn’t just get lucky that night, I got lucky for life! Our fun aside, which didn’t really happen much for the first while together anyway, I love my wife. Dawn, when you get to see this, I love who you are. Your smile keeps me going every day. Seeing our foals growing up and all of us together, I’m far more proud than words can describe.

I know, I should probably say more stuff about what I went through, but who cares. This is my journal, and I’ll talk about my wife as much as I want!

Dawn got a big surprise for this week. She was told to be ready to go to Canterlot on Tuesday for an outing. She is freaking out! Naturally, the whole family is invited to attend, and we’ll be going with, but she doesn’t handle new areas well. I’ll be there with her, and hopefully, they’ll be understanding with us needing to look after the little ones.

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Day 65, year 1, May 14th, Monday

Well, I got a wonderful scare today, something that's had me on edge for most of the time since getting it yesterday I've been asked to attend a social gathering of the houses with the princesses. I have been stressed out because of the news, I don’t handle new situations terribly well, and to top it off, I’m already involved in their hyper measured political game! Have I mentioned I bucking HATE politics? I do. All the manipulation, all the backstabbing, all the pain and loss… I may be part changeling and have a slight edge there, but ponies shouldn’t feel they ever have to do such things to get along or get things done!

It of course had to start when after a finally leisurely morning with my husband and foals, making us some breakfast and I headed out to see Lilac…

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As Dawn walked the halls of Castle Friendship and entered her tutoring room, one she had been told to use on occasion when they were about to tackle something that required being away from the chaos of raising foals, she found her tutor was not in the room and instead an older unicorn in about their late forties to early fifties with a rather large griffin in a finely tailored suit standing behind them.

She froze at first in surprise, not expecting to see anyone but Lilac. She looked them over, noting the pony had a red coat of fur with a grey and white mane and was sipping tea and wore an equally well-designed suit.

"Ah, good. I had hoped I did not get my times wrong." The pony said with a heavy Canterlot accent as he gave a small smile at Dawn that screamed he knew exactly what time he had to be here to meet her.

"Greetings, can I help either of you?" she asked, trying hard to hide her confusion at seeing the griffin and pony present rather than her tutor.

"Mmm, no. We do not need anything, merely wishing to meet the guest in our fine land and welcome them." He said in that same nearly grandfatherly tone.

"Thank you, that is most considerate. In that case, you are likely aware of who I am, Princess Meadow Dawn, but I would wish to know who my kind visitors are then." Dawn said, trying to be as polite as she knew how to be. Something felt wrong and her instincts told her any misstep could be disastrous.

"Oh my, where are my manners?" He said standing and bowing deeply. "Please forgive my transgression and lapse in manners Princess. I am Lord Bell Ring of House Bellator."

At his name, warning bells went off in the link and Dawn quickly felt a very worried queen in her mind, overseeing her.

"It is good to meet you, Lord Bell Ring." She said with as courteous a bow as she could manage. 'Ok, what's wrong with this guy…'

'He is the head of the Council and the most powerful pony under the princesses in all of Equestria.' The Queen said. 'Be very careful.'

"Please, Lord Bell is fine Princess." He said, standing. "My companion here is Swiftclaw, my attendant."

'His "attendant" is a former Griffin commando. The best the Griffin military has to offer.' The Queen informed Dawn.

"Pleasure to meet you Swiftclaw." Dawn said with a similar bow as best she could manage, deciding to go for a compliment to continue a conversation. "Griffins were - or perhaps better said still are to my knowledge - excellent allies while the commander was displaced."

"Quite." Lord Bell said smiling. "Please won't you join me for tea? Or would you prefer something else to drink?"

"Tea would be nice," Dawn said with a small smile, making sure she was extra attentive to their emotions, "I am mildly confused, however, as this is where I was to meet Lilac Bloom and she doesn't appear to have arrived. Do you know anything about that?"

The emotions she tasted were muted… very controlled, unlike the vast majority of ponies who were like fire hoses of emotions. This usually meant a person either was unable to feel emotions properly or had extremely good self-control. Either made the hive nervous.

"Oh, she will be along shortly." Lord Bell said as he pulled out the seat for Dawn. "I can assure you she was simply delayed, most fortunate since it allowed us to meet without your lessons being interrupted."

"Indeed," Dawn replied, resisting the urge to say 'despite her normally not being so.' just in case it sounded accusatory. Besides, it was always better to let a predator or prey think they have an advantage where they do not. She didn't know which she was, but she would try her best not to be a fool. 'Mom, if you ever have advice for this guy or what he says, I am always open to it.'

'My only advice is… He and his family have always been loyal to Equestria and have never done anything that wasn't for the betterment of the nation… do not be a hindrance, remain calm and collected, and do not say more than is needed. Right now, I think he sees exactly who you are.'

"So tell me, how have you found your stay here in The Castle of Friendship, and by extension Equestria, so far?" Lord Bell asked as he took his seat and poured her a cup of tea. "Sugar?"

"Yes please." She nodded, "I've found it to be pleasant. It reminds me of where I had grown up in most respects and a great deal of preparation for the future is clearly present."

'So try to keep it simple since this is a test of character… joy. I will try.' She said in the link, trying her best to disguise her worry.

'Yes… If he thinks you’re a detriment to the nation or worse, a threat… I don't know what he will do.'

Lord Bell added two cubes of sugar with his magic and moved her cup towards her. "Ah yes, the young Princess of Friendship does look to the future and how best to keep everyone safe. She does wear many hats as the saying goes and bears many burdens, even those she need not."

Dawn accepted the cup, considering what he said, quickly sending Chrysalis a draft of what she thought of saying, only speaking it if she got approval. 'One could even say that her choosing to do so shows her dedication.'

'That's as good as anything.' Her mother said. It was clear the Queen was wary of this pony.

Dawn nodded mentally and replied before sipping her drink, "One could say that her choosing to take on such burdens shows her dedication."

"Or her folly." He said sipping his tea

"I'm sure it always depends on one's perspective." Dawn nodded politely, taking another sip as well.

"Perhaps so, perhaps no, but then, we aren't here to discuss the Princess of Friendship." He said. "I understand you are making very good progress in your training yes?"

"It goes almost as well as one can hope." Dawn said with a slight bow of the head, "The first step toward improvement is accepting where your flaws are so you can then seek to minimize or eliminate those flaws and strengthen what you are able."

"Hmm… this is true." He said. "Though focusing too much on those flaws and ignoring one’s strengths can be just as bad, if not worse.”

'Think I should agree with him and say that I still do not know how much I should know and trust my training until that time comes, or is that too revealing in some way?' Dawn quickly asked Chrysalis.

'I do not know Daughter....this is a test....'

"I will have to keep that in mind. Part of me agrees that I should also ensure my strengths improve just as much or more, but I believe answering too quickly without proper research can lead to regret later on." Dawn said, trying to be diplomatic.

He simply smiled at her as he sipped his tea, his emotions betraying nothing.

She continued drinking the tea, ensuring that she didn't let her guard down, but was unsure what else to ask. 'Anything you feel I should bring up that might help since he sees me as a newcomer and no one knows I'm a changeling yet, just your adopted daughter?'

'I do not know… those of House Bellator are… difficult to read. There is a reason they have remained the head of the Council since after the Princesses took the throne.'

"So do you have any questions for me?" He asked. "I am always willing to help a newcomer."

Dawn hummed, setting the empty teacup down and thinking openly. "I am uncertain. Perhaps you have some pieces of advice of your own you wish to impart?"

"Hmm. Well, that is a tricky one, as there are many things I could give advice on."

"I have a great deal to learn,” Dawn nodded, “and thought it was a good idea to see what you might suggest, in case you mention something I could have overlooked by accident."

"Hmm. Then I would suggest forging your own path."

"Interesting advice." Dawn smiled lightly, sensing something based on instinct. She wasn't sure if he noticed that aspect of her or perhaps she was reading more into it than she should. "I shall give more thought to it then."

He spoke after he nodded at her. "Anyway, I have taken enough of your valuable time. Thank you for having tea with an old pony." He said as he stood and bowed to her. "By your leave?"

"Of course, Lord Bell. Thank you for your time and safe travels." She said with a respectful nod.

He stood and left, his attendant following behind, and soon they were gone.

Dawn let out a silent sigh when it was safe. 'Phew… that was more draining than I thought it’d be.'

'I think you did well.' Her mother said, hugging her.

A few minutes later the door opened and Lilac entered, looking a tad disheveled. "Oh, I am so, so sorry! So my clock slowed down by a lot, so I didn't realize I was late till I went to get a snack!" She said bowing repeatedly as she apologized.

'That’s good mom… I felt like I was on eggshells, and I wouldn’t put it past him to be the reason Lilac is late.' Dawn replied before resuming addressing her tutor, "Lilac, it is perfectly all right. It happens from time to time. Please, settle in at your pace. I was occupied with a surprise meeting with Lord Bell."

Her head shot up. "What! … L-Lord Bell was here?" She asked and looked around, as if expecting him to be standing in a corner.

"Yes, he was." Dawn agreed, thinking about if others might drop by suddenly at any point like he did. The idea worried her.

Lilac began to move around the room check-in random places.

'I do believe he had wanted to avoid being known he was here.' Chrysalis said.

Dawn watched her inspect, 'So I shouldn’t have said what happened in the meantime?'

'Probably not. This is going to get around the castle now.' Chrysalis said.

Lilac finished her check and seemed to relax.

Dawn sighed in the link. 'This is why I'm not a fan of social things, I’m atrocious.'

'He will most likely see this as you making a move. In short, welcome to The Great Game of Houses, daughter.'

'God fucking dammit! That’s not what I wanted!' She cursed, quickly feeling sorry for herself.

'It was inevitable. You'd have joined tomorrow anyway.'

'What makes you say that?' Dawn asked warily.

'You are going to a dinner with the council.'

'Wait what!? When was I gonna be told about this!' Dawn asked, starting to panic.

'… You were invited yesterday by the Princess… you've been fretting over it since then.'

'Oh…’ Dawn thought back, realizing that was the case since her mind set aside almost everything to handle Lord Bell. She resisted the urge to facedesk as Lilac began her lesson. ‘Right… I kinda forgot in the heat of the moment… fuck.'

'You will learn.'

'And I hate it already.' Dawn agreed.

'Life is filled with things we do not like.'

'I know mom... I know.' Dawn sighed before lessons continued.

Look, how was I supposed to know me telling Lilac was somehow a 'move' in the dumb bucking 'game' that boils down to advanced politics like what I heard Game of Thrones was like? Almost makes me wish I had read it so I could be prepared, but it has a lot of death… in… it… bucking hell, am I going to get assassinated or die in battle now!?

I need to try to sleep before mom forces me to sleep to keep from having too much panic... gods I hate this. Why can’t ponies just get along and handle things without making this a living nightmare!

Author's Note

I hate The Game too... Who's up for ice cream?