Magical horses and the anti-magical rod

As usual, you woke up in a pile of thoroughly fucked mares. Outstretched legs, rolled out tongues and ruffled manes, nothing out of ordinary. Some of them are still moaning in their sleep as you crawl out from beneath the pile and go to the bathroom with determination written across your face. Today you won't stay in the pile until afternoon, today you'll do something useful for a change.

As you go through your morning routine thinking about plans for the day, you hear a muffled knock from the general direction of your front door. Thinking for a moment whether you should answer the door as is or put on a bathrobe, you decide for the later and go to check the door. Ah, the yellow one again, Fluttershy. Putting the bathrobe on was probably a good idea then. The terrified look mares give you when they see your penis for the first time still fills you with pride, and poor Fluttershy would probably collapse on the spot, which is not nice. It's not like you are particularly huge by human standards, you saw quite a few longer schlongs in the gym back on Earth, but yours is quite thick and ponies are quite small. Larger than a house cat, but smaller than an average dog. More importantly, though, stallions are proportionally shorter in areas that matter than you would expect from something resembling a horse, which gives you a very unfair advantage over all of them.

"Ugh, h-hi anon, Anon," says Fluttershy as she seemingly tries to avoid breathing.

Well, sure, your house reeks of sex. In fact, this entire part of Ponyville reeks of sex thanks to your daily activities, but it's not like anyone is complaining since the majority of mares of this town are contributing to this situation on a regular basis. Fluttershy, however, is not one of them.

"Good morning, Fluttershy. Wanna come in?" you offer, stepping to the side. You notice how she inhales the musky smell and starts panting but quickly catches herself.

"Uhh... No, I'm just looking for my friend Applejack. Ponies saw her going towards your house yesterday, for... and... well, I assumed, you know..."

That's the reason Fluttershy never was in the pile. She seems to be quite uncomfortable about this whole idea of an extra-dimensional monster rutting ponies out of their minds in a matter of seconds. Or about anyone rutting anyone. Or about rutting in general as a concept.

"Mmm... nope, doesn't ring any bells," you answer with honesty. It's not like you know the names of even half of the mares in today's pile. You notice that Fluttershy is carrying a first aid kit under the wing.

"I... I see. Take it anyway, just in case. H-have a nice day, bye" she says as she shoves the box into your hands and hastily retreats from your house. You notice a small puddle of pussy juices where she was standing. One day, Fluttershy, one day... Wait, why would you suddenly need a first aid kit?

Ah, who cares, it's breakfast time. On the back of your mind, you still remember that you were supposed to get some groceries yesterday and totally failed the objective, but you still open the fridge door in hopes that some magical accident conveniently teleported some food in. Nope, empty. This is just unfair, why can we have a disaster involving chocolate raining from the sky, but can't have a disaster involving fridges filling up with tacos and bacon?

Well, that means it's milk again. You go back to your pile of mares, looking for the right one. Nights with you have some curious side-effects on some of them, so you lift a few hind legs looking for your prize, and bingo. A pinkish earth pony with some flower on her butt and a pair of huge crotchboobs, each slightly larger than her head, overfilled with sweet pony milk. Lifting a sleepy mare by the scruff of her neck, you bring her teat to your mouth and give it a taste. Huh, not too bad, but a bit too buttery for breakfast. The mare moans quite a lot as you slowly suck her nipple and exhales with disappointment when you stop. Still feeling hungry, you give her marehood a few licks. She shivers a few times, probably orgasming, but you are not in the mood. Tastes better, but not quite what you want.

Suddenly, a drop of liquid falls on your nose. Wait, what was that? Apparently, there is a pony on your ceiling fan, and it's not even a pegasus. She lies outstretched across one of the wide wooden fan blades, like a big lazy cat that she would be if cats had hooves. Or something like that, you are not sure where you were going with this analogy since you are not entirely comfortable with thinking about them as cats, this has too many unhealthy implications.

You think you know this one pony. Roseluck, was it? Yeah, she was orgasming quite hard last night, but this is just ridiculous. Fucking unicorns. Wait, she is an earth pony. How the hell did she end up there?

Another drop of milk falls from her oversized crotchboob. If you won't help her out and she keeps growing, your poor ceiling fan may collapse under her weight, so there is no choice then. You carefully remove the pony from her high perch, then lift her over your head just enough so your mouth is perfectly aligned with her nipples, and start sucking one. Mmm, much nicer. Actually, scratch that, this is the best pony milk you tasted so far, and by now you are probably the biggest expert in Equestria. The stream of creamy goodness keeps flowing and flowing out of her large dark nipple, but then slows down and stops. Thankfully, there is another teat nearby. Yes, much better, just enough for a good breakfast. By the time you are done, the mare pants quite a bit in her sleep. You think about putting her back where she was, but decide to have mercy and instead put her next to the pinkish one. They start cuddling absent-mindedly, which is a good sign.

Most mares will start waking up in a few hours, some of them closer to the evening. The last night you were pretty careful to not put any of them in perpetual orgasm, so probably no reasons to worry. They know the drill: wake up, take a shower, go home, and don't go upstairs where all your personal shit is stored. You should change the rules. Like, make them bring some food or something. And booze.

Which reminds you, the orange one had brought a basket of apples which you totally forgot about. By all that is holy, her legs last night were some of the most impressive things you saw in Equestria so far. You thought it was all fur and padding but turns out it's like her leg muscles have more muscles on top of them, and those muscles are also ripped. If she wasn't reduced to a helpless mess after the first few seconds, you would be seriously worried about the death by Snu-Snu.

Hmm... apples. Them legs, tho. You scan the pile for signs of the orange mare and find her sleeping on her back, under two other mares. After removing them, you discover a pair of large full crotchboobs on a sleeping mare. They are just sitting there, waiting to be sucked, surely it would be a crime to leave them unattended. You lean down and take a sip.

Three things happen at once. First, you realize that her milk is absolutely delicious and has a pleasant apple aftertaste. Second, you start making connections between how her hips had apples on them, how she brought apples, how she tastes like apples, and how Fluttershy was looking for Apple-something. Third, a pair of incredibly strong legs lock your head in place, hard.

Ouch. You try to pull your head out, then to pull her legs apart, then realize that you would have a better chance with two blocks of concrete. No matter how much strength you apply, her legs won't even budge. You also realize that she is not actually squeezing your head because if she did, your head would explode like a watermelon on the Hydraulic Press Channel. Earth ponies can be scary sometimes, and this one is a dog-sized she-hulk.

"Ok, Apple-girl, I'll show you who's the boss here," you think as you try to stand up while lifting her with you. You fail. While you know that she is light enough for you to easily lift her with one hand, she somehow unconsciously applies the Earth Pony Immovable Stance Secret Technique 9000 (or as earth ponies call it "just standing normally") while lying on her back. So here you are, completely immovable between her harder-than-steel thighs, waiting until she wakes up. Another possibility though is that she will twitch in her sleep, and tear your head off your body by accident. You need another plan.

Assessing the situation. One sleeping Snu-Snu pony. Check. Two deliciously full crotchboobs in the direct reach of your mouth. Check. A slight hope that getting her wet enough will make her to spread her legs. Check.

You take one large brown nipple in your mouth and gently move your tongue along its edges. The mare sighs happily but doesn't relax her legs even a bit. Carefully, you start sucking, while trying to massage her inner thighs, at least the part of them that is not holding your head, with both of your hands, while trying to keep the balance with your elbows. You could go directly for the marehood, but technically your fingers and your tongue have the same properties as your cock, which means some horrible things could happen, involving an uncontrollably orgasming mare and you losing your head, literally.

You gently massage her thighs. It feels absolutely amazing as you can feel every fiber of her leg muscles under your fingertips, and how impossibly strong they feel. Then you move hands slowly towards her crotchboobs, trying really hard to avoid her more private parts. Carefully, carefully, success! Now you can slowly knead her boobs, increasing the flow of the milk. The naughty smell of marejuices in your house intensifies, this time with a hint of apple. As one of the mare's boobs runs out of milk, you notice that her hind legs start to move.

"This is how I die," you think before realizing that your head is still attached to your body, and she just repositioned your mouth in front of the other, still full crotchboob. "Have mouth, will suck." Deciding to risk something different, you carefully touch her nipple with your teeth. Bad idea! Or maybe a good idea, but wrong in your situation, you think, as she pulls your head closer to herself, smothering you with her crotchboobs. While you are not entirely sure if dying by being squashed against a pair of boobs is better than by being squashed between two thighs, you know you would prefer to stay alive even just to keep fucking ponies on a regular basis. You release your teeth and start licking the nipple. The mare's legs slowly relax. You take the nipple in your mouth and carefully suck.

As her second boob shrinks, the death grip of probably two strongest legs in Equestria slowly lets you go. Being a true gentleman, you finish your job, sucking both of her teats dry, put two mares you had removed previously on top of the Apple-monster, for the warmth of course, and finally stand up.

Yep, that's how you start your day, by heroically avoiding the mortal danger, and then showing mercy to your adversary. Giving yourself an imaginary pat on the back, you put the apple basket on your table for soon-to-be-awake mares, right next to the first aid kit (good thinking, Fluttershy, but against Apple-legs you will need something stronger, like a large team of surgeons), and step outside of the house. Yet another pleasant day in Ponyville.

"Fuck me, Anon!" yells Lyra and jumps into your hands. Or tries to. You perform a swift evasive maneuver that would make any ninja proud, and she flies into a nearby trench. Good. Technically you both are under a restraining order to not get close to each other, but you are still happy to see that she has recovered, at least physically.

Thanks to her, you've discovered that your magic resistance has an interesting interaction with pony magic field. Thanks to you, she spent two months in a state of unending orgasm, before Luna herself interfered and returned Lyra to the awake and non-endlessly-orgasming state with some powerful ancient ritual.

Yeah, about this resistance thing. The magic here is dissolved in the air; it permeates all objects and all living things. Except for you. Each pony has a roughly pony-shaped blob of magic attached to their body, and when two ponies touch each other, these blobs merge a little bit, creating a pleasant feeling for both ponies involved. That's why they enjoy hugs so much. When two ponies fuck, a horsecock-shaped appendage of magic, attached to a real horsecock, merges into a mare-shaped blob, and two ponies can share their pleasant feelings on more than just physical level. That's why they enjoy fucking so much. Blobs of magic, as you were told, are quite fuzzy and mix together quite well, that's how harmony is supposed to be shared between all living things around here.

For you it's different. Magic just bounces off you, like water off a windshield in the rain, so when you fuck a pony, something unusual happens. Your cock splits the pony's magical aura. That's it, you are the only living being (or object) in the entirety of Equestria that can fuck the pony's immortal soul itself. Souls of ponies are, apparently, really cock-hungry, since no one in millennia gave them a proper fucking. So, neither you nor Lyra knew what's going to happen. As you were told later, she came several times just during your first push, and you, being a bit self-centered that day (not your proudest moment), didn't really notice that something is wrong until about ten minutes later when the pool of her marecum reached your ankle. Apparently, orgasming ponies don't care about silly laws of physics such as the mass conservation law, because she produced several times her own body weight in marecum, and each of her crotchboobs grew at least twice larger than her head in a matter of minutes.

As a responsible adult, you made yourself a promise to not harm any more members of pony society. Which means no more than half a minute per mare, less if she shows signs of going super-saiyan from orgasming too much. Which means you need a lot of mares. Which, turns out, is not a problem anymore since the rumor had spread across the Ponyville and beyond, that not only fucking you is the best thing that can happen to a mare, it also heals all sorts of magical and physical diseases, breaks hexes and even ancient family curses, fixes addictions (the only thing a pony can get addicted to after a night with you is your cock), repairs the mana flow and reportedly reverses aging. Turns out, pent-up pony soul is a root cause for all the bad shit that happens to ponies. You would probably even cure cancer if it existed here in the first place.

So, you have everything a normal stallion would kill for but your heart is still restless. You won't know peace until you get what you want. Your ultimate dream. Enormous, even by human standards, white flank with two suns on its sides. One problem, though. You are lazy, talentless, and generally worthless, not counting your anti-magical cock that Celestia doesn't seem to be interested in. But surely there must be a solution? With determination, you go to get some groceries.

A realization strikes you that you are still wearing a bathrobe, but this is probably fine and won't affect your day in any way whatsoever.