Magical horses and the anti-magical rod

Impossibru!

Leaving your house wearing nothing but a bathrobe and slippers had an unexpected side effect! Who would have thought?

Turns out, no matter how much Equestria reeks of socialism, vendors still expect money for their goods. Feeling betrayed by the cruel reality, you stare at the cheese stand at the Ponyville market, working the problem. There is cheese. It belongs in your fridge, obviously. But there is a vendor, who won't understand it. He is a stallion, which removes the most obvious and mutually beneficial solution. His gender also adds an 83.9136% chance that he will bump the price for you out of envy (which is irrelevant, since you have no money on you anyway), and a slight possibility that something even worse will happen to you. Oh no, he looks at you "like that", here it comes.

"Look, I know you only invite mares, but I was curious if maybe..."

"NOPE," you think, but say nothing, silencing him with your stare alone. It's not like you have anything against gayness, you just personally don't swing that way, don't like unwanted advances, and by Luna's pubes, you get a lot of them lately. Worst part? Stallions making these advances are rarely even gay, they just want to solve some magic-related personal problem by riding your anti-magical cock, so they pretend to be interested while you can clearly see on their faces how disgusted they are by the idea of what they will have to do if you agree. Eww.

"Good morning, I would like to take this one, and that one, please," says a very velvety and very feminine voice next to you. A marshmallow-white hoof points at two blocks of cheese one after another, the two you were staring at this whole time, trying to decide which one you would like to buy more if you had any money. As you turn to your right, you see Rarity, your personal tailor. Well, not really, but she is the pony who made you almost all the clothes you own, including the bathrobe you are wearing right now. Rarity turns her head and looks at you with a soft smile.

"Good morning to you as well, Anon. Such a pleasure to see you listening to my advice and adjusting your schedule. I can already see how much good it does to your healthy appearance."

You know she is talking about your habit of waking up late, which tends to leave huge bags under your eyes. You also know that when she says you look healthier, she actually means it, and not trying to seduce you or make a compliment out of politeness. During your first few months here, you quickly got under each other's skin and even had a few shouting matches. However, thanks to Fluttershy, who was the mare taking care of an "unusual animal" (you) and was directly responsible for introducing you two to each other, you quickly realized that Rarity is not just a gold-digger with a fake posh accent, and Rarity, in turn, realized that you are not just a monkey ruffian, and somehow this sparked a very genuine friendship between the two of you, completely free of false pretenses and unnecessary tiptoeing. You don't see each other too often because of your very different lifestyles, but you know it's a pleasure for both of you to bump into each other. She also has your standing invitation to join the pile any evening she wants, and yet she never took it.

"Thanks, you also look beautiful, Rares. Although keep buying so much cheese and this will ruin your perfect figure."

You know this is not a proper high-quality snarky remark an asshole like you is supposed to make in this situation, but you can't really bring yourself to saying something rude to her. She is a real treasure, after all.

"Hush, you" she lightly jabs your leg with her hoof. You don't feel any pain at all since the edges of her hooves are perfectly filed. As always. You follow her as she moves to the next stand.

"I sort of have nothing to do today. Say, how long do you think Twilight is going to stay angry at me? I kinda wanted to ask her some questions about her teacher."

"Princess Celestia? I think I know what you want to get out of Twilight, but trust me, as much as I love and respect her, Twilight may not be the best source of information you are looking for. Unless you are willing to limit your questions to Princess Celestia's favorite brand of tea and such, which is by no means a secret."

"Celestia or not, I still want to make up with Twi. I know I was an asshole, but she knows I am sorry and I didn't mean it, so why can't she just let it go?" As you keep speaking, Rarity buys some bread, fresh vegetables, eggs, and... a few bottles of very unhealthy sugary drinks? You raise your brow but say nothing.

"Forgiveness takes time, be patient and let her sort her feelings out." Rarity pays for a large bag of home-made pasta, adds it to a large brown paper bag she was floating around this whole time and shoves it into your hands. "It was a pleasure to meet you, keep faith in Twilight and everything will turn out to be fine."

As you stand with a bag full of YOUR favorite equestrian food and slowly realize what just happened, Rarity trots away from the market, which she probably never planned to visit in the first place. This mare.

You feel like your boner (not really restrained by the bathrobe) becomes so painfully hard that you can put your heavy bag of groceries on it and it won't even budge. This fucking mare. You know your desire for Celestia's butt is absolute. You know that post-coital cuddling with Cloudchaser and Flitter fills you with pure divine happiness more than anything. You know that you may or may not have become addicted to Roseluck's milk, but THIS FUCKING MARE. She does unspeakable things to some part of you that shouldn't even exist. You are pretty sure it doesn't exist because for you the magical soul-o-meter (an actual machine in pony hospitals with a proper smart name which you don't remember) shows 0. You run after the mare as she disappears around the corner.

"Rares, wait!" Your raging boner poking the paper bag makes it harder to run, but you don't care. As you quickly catch up to her, you say what you must, panting "Please, just let me repay you once, just once. Anything you want."

You see as she shakes her head and smiles dismissively, but you keep talking, "Rares, this is unfair. I'm not just talking about money or sex, I'll do literally anything. Please," you feel a tear rolling down your cheek. This does it; you see how the mare's expression changes to doubt. She opens her mouth to say something but closes it quickly.

"Rares, please. I need it."

She looks down, then takes a quick glance on your huge by pony standards boner, then looks down again. Could it be?..

"Anon, look, I'm not very comfortable with asking this from you..."

"Just say it."

"Promise me you will say no if you feel like it's something you don't want to do." she insists while looking right into your eyes. The seriousness of her expression overwhelms you.

"O-ok."

"I... have a friend. Not a very close one, but a very dear nonetheless," she starts speaking reluctantly. "She works as a primary school teacher, and... she has a mana flow related problem. She doesn't like to talk about it, since it's not treatable, and she doesn't have a lot of time left, and the last thing she wants to spread among ponies is sadness. Your... unique properties gave her hope, and I talked her into joining your 'pile', but... you said no."

You feel like your heart sinks. This mare.

"Anon, I understand if it feels horrible to you that I'm even suggesting such a thing, but could you please reconsider? I'll make it up for you, I promise..." you put your bag of groceries on the ground and silence Rarity with a hug. This mare.

"Rares, forget the pile, I'll visit your friend personally and will do everything I can to fix her. I promise."

She hugs you back.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" she whispers. You hug her harder.

You know where that teacher mare lives. You know why you rejected her: because you hated your own primary school teacher. You feel like shit, but your boner was never so hard in your entire life. This fucking mare.

"I'll visit her this Friday. She will have a few days to recover if anything goes wrong" you say as you stand up. "And I'm still going to do anything you ask because this totally doesn't count."

"I'll keep that in mind, darling," says Rarity with a kind smile.

Well, that was the second weirdest shopping trip in your life, you think, as you go home. At least the bag of groceries is large enough to cover up your boner, which you still have because you can't stop thinking about the mare. You don't understand what she does to you. Even though your private parts never touched, you feel like your entire existence just got fucked by her in the most majestic way possible. Could it be that...

A gigantic magical explosion fills your vision. It looks like a nuclear mushroom made out of the purple and crimson mist and originates from somewhere near your house. Clearly, the encounter with Rarity broke something in your brain because you find yourself running TOWARDS the explosion, not AWAY from it.

You see Twilight struggling to hold her magical forcefield shield under the barrage of magic missiles fired by a red-and-green maned black-coated unicorn with a cute ass that you totally fucked last night. Shit. She looks overcharged with some evil glowing red field. Red glowing things are always evil, everyone knows that.

"This is not possible!" shouts Twilight. "You are lying, you are not Sneaky Strike! You can't be her. Her horn was sawed off! Even if she could escape and grow it back, Sneaky Strike would never be able to cast spells!"

"Do you not recognize my mana, Twilight?" The stupid missile-barrage horse slowly walks towards Twilight without slowing her attack down. "As for the horn, we both know that magic is not irreparable anymore, right?"

Mega-shit. Did you accidentally restore the power to some supervillain by fucking her senseless? Oh no, no-no-no. This is not ok. You know Twilight will win anyway, but you don't want to create MORE problems in your relationships. You start sneaking... on Sneaky Strike. You groan.

Overcharged magical horses are actually quite dangerous to sneak on. They feel the flow of magic on the battlefield around them; it's an evolutionary mechanism so that they can give long evil monologues without being interrupted. Too bad for her that you are as non-magical as it gets.

"You think you and your stupid friends could take my life from me? Foolish, foolish. I am destined to rule the world, we both know that. You will all become my slaves. MY POWER IS UNMATCHED! Eep!!!" you grab her from behind by her horn and her tail, like a hand-held battering ram, and lift her up. With a sound that can be described as "sssshwhompp" her impressive display of power collapses, leaving only some slight red glow around the body, and she dangles in your hands.

You prod her marehood with your still-hard-because-of-Rarity cock. A few pokes and the evil mare becomes wet. Swinging her forward a little bit, you impale her on your huge cock in one go. No mercy.

"My power has been matched..." she says hoarsely as her eyes roll back. Silly mare, no one uses the power of your cock to conquer the world and walks away with it! Using her horn and tail as handles, you hold her in the air and fuck her as hard and rough as you can. The air is filled with loud wet sounds that her constantly orgasming pussy is making, but in your head, you hear electric guitars and drums.

Twenty seconds. Thirty seconds. A minute. Three minutes. Five. She was reduced to a quivering mess a long time ago, but you don't stop. This mare has some serious issues. You are going to fuck them out of her, and you are not going to stop until you are done. Your chest is glistering from sweat (the bathrobe got undone at some point), your hands are bulging with muscles, you let out a battle cry (hoping that it sounds better than the last time you tried it), and you keep fucking, fucking like there is no tomorrow. In Soviet Equestria you ram a battering ram! Damn, that was really bad, and wrong too. Good thing no one can hear your thoughts.

Sneaky Strike's nipples start spraying milk everywhere around the two of you. You don't stop.

Her body starts shivering like a huge vibrator. You don't stop.

Her mouth starts to produce some other-world-ish groans. Now you definitely can't stop.

A half-transparent black shadow starts to slowly separate from her body and crawl away from you. Wait, what?

"Not today, motherfucker!" You fuck even harder than before. Now the shadow groans as its gossamer body starts to crumble into small black flakes.

"Take this!" you shout as you hilt your cock, literally lifting the mare with it, and start pumping your seed inside her. The shadow screams and bursts into black flames, that quickly consume it. Holding Sneaky Strike in the air mostly by your cock alone for a few moments, you finally bend forward and let her slid from it into a pile of a very, very severely fucked pony.

You sigh happily and notice Twilight, who was staring at you this whole time with a dropped jaw. You think she resembles a statue, and not even sure if she is breathing. You wave your hand at her.

"Hi, Twi!"