Chapters The Mare Who Loved Me (Boncord II)
Prologue - The Mare Who Loved Me
Season 3 Episode 19Document Status: Top Secret/Eyes Only Location: Olde Valley Family Eatery & Burlesque Pub - Sire's Hollow
The old pub was a dive of an establishment sticking out like a sore thumb on the extreme outskirts of the otherwise beautiful valley that Sire's Hollow occupied; remaining intact only to both preserve history and obscure shame- although the hotel directly next door seemed better suited for the latter.
Princess Luna sat at a small table in the depth of the evening crowd and across from her sat secret agent Candy-Gram- the mare who looked almost identical to Bon Bon (except for differences in coloration and an envelope below the candies on her cutie mark) and who would eventually go on to take Bon Bon's place as Lyra's marefriend. Jazz music pierced the dull roar of the crowd.
"Do you always wear your sunglasses inside and at night?" Luna queried.
"Oh, these." Candy-Gram adjusted her sunglasses. "It's so my target can't tell where I'm looking." she explained.
"Don't worry." Luna laughed nervously. "I think they look good on you." her blushing contrasted conspicuously with her coloration.
"Princess Luna!" Twilight Sparkle shouted as she staggered up to the table. "Did you see my wings yet?" She abbreviated with a hiccup as she stretched her wings to full span, knocking a drink over on the serving platter of a passing waiter and receiving a room full of stares.
"Return to your table, Twilight Sparkle. You have clearly imbibed too much cider. This is no way for a royal princess of Canterlot to conduct herself in a public place!" Luna lectured sternly.
"I will. But first you have to tell me." Twilight's words were slurred. "What are you doing in a place like this?"
"I should ask the same of you. I'm here on official business!" Luna boomed defensively.
"C'mon sugar cube!" Applejack came by and took Twilight by the hoof. "Let's get back to our table- the show's about 'ta start." The two wandered off and disappeared into the boisterous, smokey room.
"Sorry." Luna apologized to her companion after they were alone once again.
"Don't be!" Candy-Gram began to swirl her front hoof around the rim of the half-empty glass of cider in front of her. "So now that we've been on a few missions together, what brings you to the agency?" Candy-Gram smiled and stared across into Luna's eyes.
"My sister. She thought it would be good for me- to help me adjust to the Equestrian ways again- to work on the front lines of keeping it safe." Luna explained as she stared back and cracked a smile.
"Do you like it?"
"It feels good to give something back." Luna looked down. "Though it hurts that no other pony was willing to volunteer to work with me." she finished with a sigh.
"Hey." Candy-Gram reached her hoof across the table and met Luna's in the middle. "It's intimidating, I'm sure. Lots of pressure to do things by the book. But they really missed out on somepony special."
"Do you really feel that way?" Luna cracked a smile.
"Of course. Come closer. I have something for you." Candy-Gram beckoned and leaned across the table as the more sultry music of the burlesque show began to fill the room. Luna froze.
"I-" Luna was interrupted by the pounding of her own heart. She leaned forward, nearly meeting Candy-Gram half way across the table.
"Close your eyes." Candy-Gram whispered.
Luna closed her eyes and Candy-Gram approached the rest of the way, kissing her passionately. Luna's heart pounded and her body shook- she had never been kissed before and as the kiss ended and the two mares faces parted; she struggled in her mind to assemble the words to explain that. Luna remained silent and a tear came to her eye as she stared longingly at Candy-Gram.
"I'm sorry, I thought-" Candy-Gram whispered.
"Whatever you are feeling- I feel it too." Luna interrupted softly as she cracked a smile. "I suppose I just wasn't expecting it to happen; let alone this fast."
Candy-Gram's face became serious and she pulled away from Luna, pointing off into the crowd. "That's our mark."
"Colonel Blackmane." Luna breathed a sigh of relief at the welcome interruption as she levitated a file folder onto the table with a magical glow and swung it open. She pulled out a photograph and held it up in comparison to the distant face- A crystal pony stallion with an appropriate black mane which barely contrasted against the rest of his dark, smokey coloration.
"That's him alright. The real question is what a Crystal Empire separatist is up to in a boring place like Sire's Hollow." Candy-Gram pondered.
"He's certainly not staying for the show." Luna said as they watched him heading toward the front door of the pub. "Let us follow him."
The two mares cautiously shadowed Blackmane as he hastily trotted out of the pub and headed up a winding path to a distant hillside. Their breath was visible in the chill of night.
"What's out that way?" Candy-Gram pondered.
"The Sire's Hollow Observatory. " Luna answered.
"So The Sleepless Dusk is interested in astronomy now? This is really confusing."
The two mares laid quite a distance back as cover along the path became sparse as the observatory came into view. The building was white and cylindrical with a dome shaped turret on the top which had a very large telescope peering out into the heavens. A nearby boulder on the hillside provided one final point of cover with a good vantage point of the front door of the observatory. At this distance Blackmane was inaudible compared to the crickets as he approached two crystal mares standing guard outside. After a brief conversation and an affirming nod from all parties Blackmane walked past them and went inside.
"We could be dealing with a hostage situation." Luna warned.
"It looks like going in through the front door isn't an option then." Candy-Gram sighed.
"Let me take care of this." Luna closed her eyes and magic began to shine around her as Candy-Gram watched intently. After a while Luna opened her eyes again and the spell she was channeling ceased. "That's it!" Luna said triumphantly.
"That's what?" Candy-Gram looked confused.
"There's a service entrance in the rear. There's only one pony guarding it." Luna explained.
"How can you tell?"
"Because he fell asleep." Luna said with an uncharacteristic confidence.
"You're absolutely incredible." Candy-Gram said with a smile before giving Luna a quick kiss.
"Follow my lead and stay low." Luna ordered,calmly, as she crept through some tall grass. The two trotted a broad path around the building until they found themselves staring at the rear service entrance where, as promised, a crystal stallion dozed off.
The mares crept past the sleeping stallion and quickly stepped through the service entrance and quietly closed the door behind them. They were faced with a narrow, dimly lit, hallway. Pipes ran along the length of the hall. The otherwise emptiness of it amplified their hoofsteps along with the sound of a pair of ponies conversing with each other as both groups approached an abrupt corner.
Luna signaled for Candy-Gram to halt as she looked around for a way out. Her eyes zeroed in on the grate to an air duct on the ceiling and in a flash of magic both mares found themselves up in a tight air duct. They stared down through the grate as the two ponies continued their patrol to the end of the hall.
"You're late!" A stallion called out as the sound of the service door swinging closed sounded. "I almost fell asleep out there. Your shift started half an hour ago."
After a while the commotion in the hall passed and the two mares slipped further into the air duct. The flimsy metal of the duct made a commotion along with all of their movements as they crossed over a wall and found themselves looking down into a dark room.
"What was that?" They could hear a mare's voice asking as they stared nervously out through the duct. Two crystal ponies came into view and quickly wrenched open the grate, sending Luna and Candy-Gram tumbling down into the room below. A unicorn stallion was bound and gagged near a control console.
"Well look at what we have here." The mare taunted. "Alert the others!" She ordered to the other crystal pony.
"Are you sure you don't want to sleep on it first?" Princess Luna asked with a smug smirk as she let off a flash of magic which sent the two crystal ponies crashing to the floor in a deep slumber.
"That was a close!" Candy-Gram yelped.
"You watch the door. I'll free the hostage." Princess Luna ordered as she used her magic to pull the gag out of the unicorn's mouth.
"Thank you!" The unicorn gasped in relief as Luna loosened his ropes.
"Are there other hostages?" Luna asked.
"No. It's just me here after-hours. I'm the maintenance pony." The unicorn explained. "They took over the place and had me show them how to remove the arcane focusing prism from the enhancement array. I told them they have to wait for the maintenance cycle to complete otherwise it could destabilize and cause an explosion. They didn't believe me!" he warned. "We have to get out of here before it blows!".
An alarm began to sound throughout the observatory and the sound of hoofsteps began rushing around. "Sweet, Celestia! They didn't listen!" The unicorn cried out in fear.
"Blackmane will have to wait!" Luna shouted as she helped the unicorn up and headed toward the door.
"Darn, this close!" Candy-Gram complained as the trio burst into the hallway.
Smoke billowed into the hall which flashed red with emergency lights. The sound of the alarms was deafening.
"Which way?" Luna asked the unicorn, shouting over the deafening racket. He cocked his head to the left and the group took off to the left down the hall but quickly ducked for cover in a nearby doorway as a crossbow bolt narrowly missed them and stuck in the doorway.
"Not now!" Candy-Gram complained.
Luna popped out of cover and fired a blast from her horn, quickly dispatching a crystal pony who wore a hoof-mounted crossbow. The trio resumed their path down the hall but stopped as they passed by the doorway to the mechanical room.
"Blackmane!" Candy-Gram pointed in at Blackmane who was moving deeper into the room.
"There's no time!" The unicorn warned." The blast door will close any sec-" the warning was ineffective as Candy-Gram rushed in and was quickly closed off behind a heavy metal door that slid down into place.
"Candy-Gram!" Luna cried out before firing a futile blast of magic at the door.
"If she's in there she's already dead!" The unicorn warned before resuming his dash down the hall.
Luna turned her head up and followed the unicorn. As they approached the front doors of the observatory the two crystal mares who were guarding the front ran inside.
"You fools!" Luna called out. With a flash of magic the four appeared outside.
"The Colonel!" One of the mares called out as they both ran back inside.
Luna and the unicorn dived for cover behind a nearby berm right as an explosion ripped outward from the heart of the observatory. Tears rushed down Luna's cheeks as she channeled a blue energy shield which lit up white wherever the abundance of shrapnel plowed into it. The unicorn fainted from all the excitement. Luna looked him over to be sure he was still alive and then trotted mournfully toward the smoldering wreckage of the observatory.
A cough sounded from below a pile of debris some distance away from the observatory. Luna quickly rushed over and began using her magic to desperately move the debris out of her way.
"Luna...I'm sorry." Candy-Gram whimpered as Luna freed her from the crushing debris.
"We need to get you to a hospital!" Luna cried out in relief to see her alright.
"No." Candy-Gram struggled to her feet. "I'll be fine. We can't afford to blow our cover. Let's just get back to the hotel."
Luna looked down the path and saw fire and police ponies rushing in with sirens sounding and looked over at the passed out unicorn. "Plausible deniability." She said with a sigh as she squeezed Candy-Gram between her front hooves and spread her wings, carrying her off into the night and back to the hotel next to the pub.
Luna helped Candy-Gram into the bed at their hotel room and laid down beside her. "What were you thinking? You nearly got yourself killed." She sobbed.
"Blackmane got away. I followed him through a maintenance tunnel. It's what shielded me from the blast."
"That's not what I asked." Luna turned away as tears gleamed in her eyes.
"Hey!" Candy-Gram placed a hoof on Luna's cheek and turned her face back toward her. "We're here now, together, and that's what matters. But with Blackmane on the run not everypony will be so lucky."
"I just-" Luna interrupted herself with a heavy sigh. "I don't know what I would do if anything were to ever happen to you. I-"
"I love you." Candy-Gram interrupted.
Luna's heart pounded. The words were familiar but never before had they been uttered to her in this context. She leaned in and kissed Candy-Gram. The flames of passion escalated and the two mares made love before falling asleep in each other's embrace.
The next morning.
"Housekeeping!" A voice called out along with the sound of a hoof knocking on the door.
"Oh no!" Candy-Gram jumped out of bed and strained her eyes against the morning sun which beamed in through the window. "I fell asleep. I mean we slept in!"
"What's the rush?" Luna asked as she lazily rose from bed. "Our train back to Canterlot doesn't leave until this evening."
"Hey. You're right." Candy-Gram said nervously.
"Why don't we go grab brunch at the pub? It's on me." Luna offered. Candy-Gram nodded and the two quietly gathered their belongings and headed next door.
The morning business at the pub was much more sedate as the pub catered more toward the 'family eatery ' side of the equation.
"I wonder what Blackmane could possibly want with an arcane focusing prism from a telescope." Luna pondered.
"Your guess is as good as mine." Candy-Gram sighed. "There's lots of things you can do with one."
"Yes, but each prism is specific to each machination. Unless he's building a replica of that exact telescope then this makes absolutely no sense-"
"Luna, I wasn't completely forward with you. There's something I need to tell you." Candy-Gram said with a sigh.
Luna felt a piercing sensation in her heart as she looked Candy-Gram in the eyes with an expression as though she had just seen a ghost.
"I won't be getting on the same train as you." Candy-Gram explained.
"Don't be silly." Luna shuddered nervously. "How will you get back to Canterlot?"
"I'm not going back to Canterlot." Candy-Gram said insistently. "I have a deep cover assignment lined up after this one and I'll be leaving this afternoon. I probably should have told you about that before we-"
Luna's jaw dropped and her chest felt like it was being crushed. "But that means-"
"It means I won't be seeing you again for a very long time." Candy-Gram said curtly.
"But you'll leave me some way to get in touch, right?" Luna asked.
"I'll look you up when the assignment is done." Candy-Gram offered disingenuously.
"Please. But I love you. You were my first-" Luna pleaded.
"I'm sorry. You're not the only mare who can make that claim." Candy-Gram said as she got up from the table and flipped some bits on the table to cover her share of the meal.
"I don't want your money!" Luna's voice boomed angrily and everypony in the pub stared in their direction. "I want you!".
"Sorry, babe. It's all part of the game." Candy-Gram said as she turned her nose up and walked away.
Luna slumped her head down on the table and began to sob as the morning burlesque act took the stage. A voluptuous mare in long, striped socks trotted out seductively onto the stage as a band played a melody that was both melancholic and sultry.
"I remember your kiss- I remember your touch
I remember the bliss- when I loved you so much. "
The mare worked her way around the outside of the stage with a seductive pace, making seductive gestures to the crowd.
"I remember the lust- I remember your smile
But you betrayed my trust- And you turned out so vile! "
The mare's voice intensified into an operatic crescendo as a smoke effect flooded across the stage and was illuminated a deep crimson red by the stage lighting as the music broke into a refrain.
"The mare who loved me- Is now the prey that I hunt! The mare who loved me- It was only a front! "
Other burlesque mares flooded onto the stage along with stallion dance companions and lined the edges of the stage as the lead mare worked her way back toward the center of the stage. Behind the smoke effect she appeared only as a silhouette.
"I remember the pain- Every sorrowful day.
But I feel strong again- And I'm coming your way! "
Through the smoke effect the lead mare removed her socks and tossed them out into the crowd one at a time as the dance moves of the backup dancers became more salacious. As the music rose into another crescendo she burst back out of the smoke dressed in a pinstriped zoot suit.
"The mare who loved me- Her time is running short. The mare who loved me- is now the danger I court. "
One last tear made its way down Luna's cheek as the show carried on and years later an identical tear broke from her cheek, leaving a dark watermark on an open file folder on a desk in a dark, cramped, reading room deep within the Canterlot agency. Luna let out a wistful sigh as she placed the case files related to the 'Sire's Hollow Observatory incident' back into the folder and tucked it into a nearby drawer.
The Mare Who Loved Me (Boncord II)
Chapter 1 - Special Someponies
"Angel Bunny, could you pass the cream please?" Fluttershy asked sweetly from across the table, in her cottage. A tea pot sat in the middle of the table with a place set for each of them. Angel hopped up up onto the table and began to push a creamer across the table.
Glancing down, into the open creamer, Angel gasped and jumped up in terror.
"Oh, my! What is it!?" Fluttershy cowered.
Angel tipped the creamer out onto the table and the cream poured out in all the colors of Discord's body.
"Discord! What are you doing hiding in there?" Fluttershy asked softly.
"It's just been so long since we last spoke." Discord said with a sigh as he re-materialized into himself and in a flash of light was sitting at his own place-setting at the table.
Angel shook a paw at Discord in protest.
"Oh, how I missed the little guy too!" Discord said as he tightly hugged Angel as Angel struggled for freedom.
"Discord I-" Fluttershy spoke softly.
"I know we can't go back to, you know." Discord interrupted.
"You know that-" Fluttershy tried to pipe in.
"I was just hoping you still considered me as a friend. You were my first true friend after all." Discord pleaded with puppy dog eyes.
"Oh, Discord." Fluttershy giggled softly. "Of course we are still friends."
Angel made a gagging gesture at the sentiment.
"Really? After everything I did?" Discord sighed.
"Of course. You are welcome to come by and talk any time you want. But you have to promise me one thing." Fluttershy offered.
"Yes?"
"You have to promise me that you'll stop using your powers to intrude on ponies personal lives."
"Scouts honor!" Discord appeared in a scouts uniform and gave a sincere salute.
"So are you still seeing Bon Bon?" Fluttershy cut straight to the point.
"Well. Sort of. It's complicated." Discord watched for Fluttershy's reaction and was relieved to see no jealousy or animosity on her part.
"Oh. How so?" Fluttershy asked.
"We both have the makings for something really very special. The spark is there, albeit not with the greatest timing. We are both still hanging on to things from the past but once we are past those things a great reward of passion and romance awaits us both." Discord explained.
"Wow , Discord- that's so insightful." Fluttershy smiled proudly.
"Well if I told you how I figured that out you wouldn't believe me." Discord sighed. "I really wanted to get her something very special for Hearts and Hooves Day but I just don't know what to get her."
"Oh, Discord. Do you know what the best gift you ever gave me was?" Fluttershy giggled softly.
"Hmm?" Discord raked his beard.
"All the quality time we spent together, silly. Why don't you take her out to do something nice?" Fluttershy suggested.
"Like what?"
"Well there's the Hearts and Hooves Day charity fundraiser ball this weekend. Rarity is organizing it. All proceeds go to the Help Rebuild Manehattan Fund . To help rebuild all the homes and businesses that were destroyed when that 35 hoof tall GammaWyvern attacked Manehattan." Fluttershy explained.
"I could have sworn it was only 20 hoofs tall." Discord contemplated. "But I know what Bon Bon will say. Fancy balls just aren't her scene."
"But everypony is going to be there with their special somepony!" Fluttershy pleaded as she passed a brochure over to Discord. "Even I'm going. Tickets are almost sold out but I have two extras. Princess Luna and Princess Celestia will be there. Princess Cadence and Shining Armor will be there to give a special commencement speech on behalf of the Crystal Empire! All the most important ponies of Equestria will be there in one place!"
"Of course." Discord said in a Eureka moment as he eyed the brochure over.
"I can't wait to see you two there!" Fluttershy said with a soft enthusiasm.
"Everypony is going to be there with their special somepony! Even I'm going" Fluttershy's words echoed in Discord's head.
"Wait, did you say that-" Discord said.
"Oh, dear! Look at the time!" Fluttershy interrupted. "I'm supposed to go meet Rarity to go try on dresses soon! I'm so sorry we'll have to cut this short." She apologized as she got up and urged Discord out the door.
Discord immediately found himself sitting at another tea party for three- this one in his head with his id and superego, dressed as a devil and an angel respectively.
"Come-on now." His superego lectured. "You have no place being jealous. You have Bon Bon now."
"I'm just curious who this new special somepony is." Discord sighed and then took a sip of tea.
"I bet he's a real jerk!" His id chided. "You should figure out who he is and have a little fun with him." he finished with a devilish smirk.
"But I promised Fluttershy-"
"You promised her you wouldn't use your powers to intrude on ponies. Get creative!" His id encouraged.
"I really don't think that would be in the spirit of the promise he made." His superego insisted.
"You're right. Besides. What kind of special somepony would I be to Bon Bon if I wasted all that effort hounding Fluttershy's new love interest?" Discord contemplated.
"But what if I'm right? What if he is a jerk? Don't you at least want to see who he is so you can make sure she's not seeing some loser who is just going to break her heart again?" His id lectured. "That's not jealousy. That's just looking out for your friends. You don't need to intervene. You just need to see that she's in good hooves."
Discord looked over to his superego, who had taken off its halo and was polishing it.
"What? I think he actually has a good point there." His superego said with a shrug.
"What kind of superego are you? You're supposed to be keeping me out of trouble." Discord complained.
"Actually I'm just a subconscious manifestation of your understanding of cultural norms. If you find yourself getting in trouble because of me then perhaps you should, oh I don't know, acquire more of that cultural understanding. " His superego chided.
"You watch who you're calling uncultured, pal!" Discord seethed as he huffed back.
"Fight! Fight!" His id cheered.
Discord shrugged his shoulders and then lunged angrily toward his superego. The whole scene vanished in a puff of smoke as Discord crashed into the ground outside and found Twilight Sparkle standing and staring down at him.
"Discord!" Twilight Sparkle called out sternly.
"Oh, Twilight. How nice to see you. Anything I can help you with?" He asked disingenuously.
"I'm sure you heard about that 40 hoof tall GammaWyvern that attacked Manehattan." Twilight Sparkle said.
"You know that thing gets taller every time somepony mentions it.." Discord twiddled his appendages nervously. "I heard you girls really did a number on it. Go team!" Discord clapped lightly.
"Well that's just the thing." Twilight eyed Discord intensely. "No trace of it was found after. The even stranger part is that there's no footprints heading into Manehattan. It's like it just appeared out of nowhere."
"Well that is strange." Discord chuckled nervously.
"Where were you when it happened?"
"Can we talk about this some other time? I'm a little disorganized at the moment because I just spent the last three days locked out of Equestria because somepony let some harmless little filly drain all the magic." Discord snapped defensively.
"Don't let me hold you up." Twilight held her hoof out to signal for Discord to continue on his way.
Discord started walking before Twilight stepped in his way again.
"Oh. One last thing." Twilight held a small plastic bag containing a single pink hair in front of her face and eyed it. "Weren't you with Bon Bon on that day?"
"In fact I was just going to meet her, right now. I'll let her know you said hi!" Discord said nervously as he snapped his fingers and disappeared.
"Bon Bon!" Discord shouted as he re-materialized next to Bon Bon who was watering some flowers in a planter along a path in Ponyville.
"There was a time when that would have startled me." Bon Bon said with a sigh as she carried on her business.
"We're in serious trouble! Twilight Sparkle started asking me about the GammaWyvern in Manehattan and she had one of your hairs and we're both going to Tartarus for sure now and by the way what are you doing this weekend?" Discord rapped out in a single breath before gasping for air.
"Calm down." Bon Bon put her watering pail down on the ground and turned around to face Discord. "Look. The only thing she can prove is that I was in Manehattan. Going to Manehattan isn't a crime is it? Let's just try to keep a low profile until her investigation comes up cold and then we'll be safe again." Bon Bon offered a comforting pat.
"What about the other question?" Discord pressed.
"I have nothing planned." Bon Bon said with a smile.
"Well I was wondering if you wanted to go to the Hearts and Hooves Day Charity Ball together. All proceeds go to the Help Rebuild Manehattan Fund. " Discord held out the brochure.
"You know that's just not my scene. Besides I'd hardly call that keeping a low profile" Bon Bon said with a sigh.
"Lyra will be performing there." Discord said as he inconspicuously angled the brochure toward Bon Bon.
"Let me see that!" Bon Bon snatched the brochure away and eyed it intensely. "I guess this means she's back in town." Bon Bon pondered. "It would be nice to hear her perform."
"That's the spirit. Now if you'll excuse me..." Discord looked around and saw that they were near the Carousel Boutique. He quickly sauntered over and started staring through the window.
"What are you doing?" Bon Bon trotted over and watched curiously.
"Word on the street is that Fluttershy has a new special somepony." Discord explained.
"Really!?" Bon Bon planted her face in her hoof.
"Yes and I have no idea who." Discord answered obliviously.
"I meant as in I thought we were done with this business." Bon Bon grumbled.
"Oh, but we are. I just want to make sure she's not throwing herself at some jerk who's going to treat her poorly. Need I remind you that I helped you with this very same dilemma back in Manehattan." Discord pondered. "And for the record that's not the only reason why I want to take you to that ball."
"I was going to ask." Bon Bon sighed. "Don't forget the trouble that got us in. Why don't you just, you know, do your thing?"
"I promised her that I wouldn't use my powers to intrude on ponies and this will be far less troublesome. It's not like we'll be crashing around and destroying skyscrapers this time." Discord said smugly.
"And you don't think that by staring through windows and following her around you're breaking the spirit of that agreement?" Bon Bon pressed her face into her hoof again.
"Well are you going to return the favor or not?"
"Well what are you doing here?" Bon Bon quizzed.
"She's trying on dresses for the big event." Discord explained.
"Let me see." Bon Bon pushed Discord aside peered through the window. "Oh. Um. Hmm. Uh-oh. She likes thelittle black dress, huh?"
"Oh, no, what does that mean." Discord pleaded in fear.
"Nothing. It's just a black dress!" Bon Bon snapped defensively. "They're coming!"
Discord and Bon Bon quickly ducked behind some shrubs as Rarity and Fluttershy burst out of the boutique in mid conversation.
"And so we're going out for dinner tonight." Fluttershy said softly.
"Ooh! Where?" Rarity beamed.
"Well, uhm. I don't know. I was thinking hayburger." Fluttershy said nervously.
"Darling. An occasion like this calls for something a little more, shall we say, upscale." Rarity rolled her eyes. "Why don't you go to the Couteau en Argent instead?"
"Oh, my. That place is awful exclusive. Don't I need a reservation there?" Fluttershy sighed.
"Don't be silly, darling. Just tell them Rarity sent you and you'll get the finest table in the house." Rarity explained boastfully.
Their conversation continued as they disappeared down the path. When they were out of sight Discord and Bon Bon emerged from their hiding place.
"How does dinner tonight sound? My treat of course." Discord raked his beard.
"Do I really have a choice?" Bon Bon sighed.
The Mare Who Loved Me (Boncord II)
Chapter 3 - The Widows Hairpin
"Quickly, before we miss the train!" Discord called out. He had shrunk himself and was riding on Bon Bon's back as she galloped toward the rail platform at the Appleoosa train station.
"This is ridiculous!" Bon Bon complained with a labored pant.
"Well we couldn't take the same balloon as Candy-Gram, she would have seen us!" Discord explained.
"Why did we have to take a balloon in the first place?" Bon Bon rolled her eyes.
"Ahem! The promise ." Discord rolled his eyes right back.
"Your interpretation of that promise feels a little arbitrary." Bon Bon complained.
Discord snapped his fingers and changed to the same size of a pony, standing beside Bon Bon as they reached the platform and passed their tickets over to the conductor and scrambled on.
"All aboard!" The conductor stallion called out as a tall mare obscured in a heavy cloak arrived just in time behind them. He took her ticket and then waved her on board before climbing on, himself.
"Like this. How is this not using magic to intrude on a pony?" Bon Bon muttered to him as they searched for their seats.
"I never promised not to use my magic to have a more comfortable train ride." Discord muttered back.
"Here we are." Bon Bon sighed as they squeezed themselves into two adjacent seats, deep within the economy section of the train. Discord took the aisle seat and Bon Bon was seated by the window. "Where is Candy-Gram seated anyway?"
"Oh, she's up in first-class ."
"Really!?" Bon Bon buried her face in one of her front hooves. "Why are we back here then?"
"We don't want to be seen, do we ?" Discord chided. "We can go look for her once the seat-belt light is off."
"Seat-belt light ?" Bon Bon flashed him a confounded look as the train jerked from the cars pulling taut as the train began rolling forward.
As the train reached its cruising speed attendants started pushing carts down the aisles, selling snacks to the passengers. The rhythmic clatter of the train wheels synced up with suspenseful and dramatic sounding music. The music created tension and unease for the duo. They looked around- the music was coming from a pony across the aisle from Bon Bon and Discord; a young colt was listening to it on a portable phonograph.
"Must you listen to that so loudly!?" Discord complained to the colt. "That music makes me think something terrible is about to happen!" The colt responded by flashing Discord a rude gesture and turning the music up even louder.
"Let's just go find Candy-Gram!" Bon Bon urged with a hoof on Discord's shoulder.
"Very well." Discord sighed as the duo shuffled into the aisle and headed forward toward the first-class cars. Nearly all of the passengers they passed by were earth-ponies, as expected since the train was coming from Appleoosa.
The two found themselves standing out on the platform linking the economy cars to the first class car, the sound of rushing wind drowned out their thoughts. Discord slid the door open and peered in with his long neck.
"There she is!" He whispered urgently back to Bon Bon.
Bon Bon peered in and Discord pointed at Candy-Gram, who was sitting on her own half way up the car. "She's coming!" Bon Bon said in a panic as Candy-Gram got up and started heading their way. The duo ducked back into the economy section and hid in an alcove full of various dining supplies.
Candy-Gram passed by and ducked into an empty seat in the economy section and looked at a watch around one of her front hooves.
"What is she up to?" Discord pondered.
Without warning two masked ponies burst in from the first-class car. They didn't notice Bon Bon and Discord hiding in the supply alcove on their way by.
"This is a hold up!" A masked mare shouted. "Everypony to the front of the train!"
Bon Bon and Discord watched as the passengers broke into a rabble as they started getting up and filing forward down the narrow aisle as the masked ponies worked their way toward the back of the train. As they got to Candy-Gram she started following the crowd briefly but then doubled back toward the masked ponies.
"Well there you have it." Discord said with a smirk. "This has nothing to do with either of us."
"I guess maybe I did over-react a little." Bon Bon sighed.
"Well, shall we follow?" Discord asked with a wink.
"Let's just try not to be seen." Bon Bon begged with a roll of her eyes.
Bon Bon and Discord kept their distance as they tailed Candy-Gram toward the back of the train, ducking behind rows of seats for cover along the way.
"Wait!" Candy-Gram ordered as they reached the end of the last passenger car; between it and the caboose there was a boxcar whose door was barred tight with a heavy-duty padlock.
"What do you think is in there?" Discord whispered to Bon Bon.
"This train carries the weekly bank deposits from Appleoosa to the Canterlot Trust Bank" Bon Bon whispered back. "There must be a million bits in there."
One of the masked ponies wrenched out the pin that was coupling the boxcar and the caboose from the rest of the train. The train jerked as it began to accelerate away from the detached cars.
"I said wait!" Candy-Gram shouted as she heroically jumped the gap to the boxcar. The scene slowly vanished from sight as the hijacked cars slowed down.
"Aren't you going to do something!?" Bon Bon swatted at Discord with a front hoof.
"If the very fate of Equestria were at stake the promise would be null. This is a train robbery that has nothing to do with us." Discord snarled.
"I can't stand not being able to do something!" Bon Bon complained.
"How about brunch in Canterlot? That's something." Discord offered.
"I don't get you sometimes." Bon Bon fumed and shook her head.
The duo staggered as the train surged forward again. Bon Bon rushed over and looked out a window.
"Something's wrong!" Bon Bon panicked. "I've taken this train before. We should be slowing down for the widows hairpin by now- not speeding up. There's no way we can slow down on time!" Sure enough, a few miles down the track the track came to a tight bend as it entered a rocky valley.
"Well I suppose this is one of those situations." Discord said as he snapped his fingers. The duo materialized inside the engineers compartment. A stallion in engineers attire cowered in the corner. An electrical discharge immediately struck Discord who reverted to his normal size and winced in pain.
"Agh!" Discord screeched in pain and doubled down before forcing himself tall again. He took up most of the compartment at his normal size.
"We're stuck! They cut the brake-line and sealed the door!" The engineer explained.
"Well we're here to help!" Bon Bon explained.
"Look out at the boiler." Discord said in a strained voice as he gestured outside toward the boiler of the locomotive. Bon Bon's eyes converged on a circular rune etched into the boiler.
"What is that ?" Bon Bon asked.
"It's a spell absorption rune." Discord explained. "Crystal Pony magic."
"Crystal Pony magic?" Bon Bon asked as she looked around the cramped engineer compartment for a solution.
"Yes. Just as Earth Ponies have their strength; Pegasi , their flight and Unicorns their spellcasting. Crystal Ponies can use magical runes." Discord explained.
"Why have I never heard about this?" Bon Bon asked.
"Because King Sombra shut down the last school of runecasters over a thousand years ago. This is hardly the time for a history lesson!" Discord complained. "I have just enough strength to save one of us."
"Send him outside of the compartment." Bon Bon ordered as she observed the boiler pressure gauge, closed a nearby valve and then started stoking coal into the firebox.
"Are you insane? You'll blow that boiler sky-high!" The engineer warned.
"Just uncouple the passenger cars and tell everypony to brace themselves." Bon Bon ordered. She then looked over to Discord who nodded and then snapped his fingers, sending the engineer outside of the compartment. Discord cringed in pain as the last of his magic was drained by the rune.
"That's the last of my magic. I hope you have something brilliant planned." Discord sighed.
With a metallic clunk the passenger cars began falling behind on the tracks as the locomotive surged forward even quicker.
"How long will it take you to recover once that rune is destroyed!?" Bon Bon asked loudly over the escalating roar of the locomotive.
"Even if we weren't trapped in here with the rune out there , in case you haven't noticed, it's etched deeply into the side of the boil- oh." Discord sighed and paused for a moment. "My zany cartoonish antics will return immediately but it will be at least a few hours before I can do any serious spellcasting again."
"Well those zany cartoonish antics are going to have to save us." Bon Bon said in a deeply serious tone as she watched the needle on the boiler gauge hit the red-line.
Discord squirmed around the tight compartment so that he was facing Bon Bon as the boiler groaned and stretched from the pressure. "You know I really wish you would have run this plan by me before committing to it." Discord complained.
"Well I guess we're even now." Bon Bon replied with a smug smirk as rivets began to fire out of the side of the boiler.
In an instant, a deafening shockwave shattered the the boiler. Discord stretched his body around Bon Bon as a torrent of searing, super-heated steam and shrapnel disintegrated the entire locomotive. A torus of billowing black smoke and orange flames rolled up into the sky above the scene and the booming crackle of the explosion echoed through the nearby valley. Large pieces of metallic debris rained from the sky in all directions.
Bon Bon and Discord were left standing in the middle of the tracks.
"Well that wasn't so bad." Discord said as he coughed up a cloud of black smoke. He was covered from head-to-toe in soot.
"Look out!" Bon Bon shouted as she pointed to the rest of the train cars which were quickly catching up.
Discord braced his legs against a railway tie and reached out toward the oncoming cars. The railway ties broke one-by-one as he was pushed back along the path of the train, still embracing Bon Bon. The path of carnage began to glow red as the heat of the friction built up. The train came to a stop right before the sharp corner known as The Widows Hairpin began.
Bon Bon broke from Discord's embrace. "We did it!" She cheered.
"I could use a nice, hot, shower." Discord said with a sigh as he wiped the soot from his face.
Passengers began to emerge from the train and survey the situation. The tall, cloaked mare who had boarded the train right after them rushed to the front of the crowd. With a shake of her head she cast the hood of the cloak off of her head revealing her true identity; Princess Luna.
"Princess Luna!?" Bon Bon exclaimed as Luna neared the duo.
"You are under arrest on suspicion of terrorism!" Luna called out conspicuously. "Just play along." She whispered under her breath as she cast magical chains onto Discord and Bon Bon.
In a blink of magic the trio re-appeared, unbound, behind a nearby boulder, comfortably away from the scene.
"What's going on here!?" Discord demanded. "That little trap there felt like it was meant for Bon Bon and I, personally."
"Somepony has been assassinating agents, both active and inactive." Luna explained.
"Agent Candy-Gram..." Bon Bon contemplated.
"We don't know for sure who is behind it. But whoever it was knew you would be there. There is definitely a mole in the agency. I can't trust anypony within the agency so I am calling you two back into service." Luna said.
"Wait, can she do that? We both resigned long ago." Discord complained.
"Didn't you read the hoofbook before you signed up?" Bon Bon smacked her hoof against her face. "Section 105 Subparagraph B- Emergency Recruitment ."
"Runecasters." Discord said to Luna. "This trap was set up with a spell absorption rune. This makes no sense."
"The Sleepless Dusk ." Luna pondered.
"The Sleepless Dusk?" Discord asked.
"A crystal empire separatist group." Bon Bon explained.
"How come I've never heard of such a thing?" Discord asked as he raked his beard.
"Are you familiar with the Harmony Gazette ?" Luna asked.
"You mean that publication Canterlot has put out 26 times a year ever since Twilight Sparkle and her friends restored the Elements of Harmony , which chronicles important friendship related events around Equestria?" Discord asked.
"Yes." Bon Bon piped in. "Haven't you ever wondered why there's only 13 issues covering the third year?"
"To be honest I never finished the first year. I got tired of reading about Twilight Sparkle in every issue even when she has nothing to contribute to the overall plot." Discord explained.
"Well not every pony was happy about the provisional government that Canterlot set up when the Crystal Empire returned." Luna began explaining. "A group formed calling themselves, The Sleepless Dusk . They made it their mission to restore the old ways of the Crystal Empire"
"Whether or not anypony agreed." Bon Bon chimed in.
"After a lengthy campaign of terror we were finally able to weaken their organization and their activity stopped." Luna continued. "I worked with agent Candy-Gram on some of those missions." A tear came to Luna's eye as she mentioned Candy-Gram. "But all issues related to The Sleepless Dusk were classified to avoid animosity towards the crystal ponies. We just let the public go on believing that it was because of internal disputes between the writers."
"But why are they back now? And why are they robbing trains out in the middle of nowhere?" Bon Bon pondered.
"They must be planning something big. Something that requires a lot of funding." Princess Luna explained with a tone of dread.
"All the most important ponies. In one place." Discord said ominously as he passed a copy of the brochure for the fundraiser to Princess Luna.
"Of course. I'll take over security arrangements for the event. I need you two to tail agent Candy-Gram to see what she's up to. I can't trust anypony inside the agency right now and neither should you." Luna ordered.
"Got it." Bon Bon said as she and Discord gave a nod.
"And try to keep a low profile." Luna added. "It's better if whoever set that trap for you goes on believing that it worked."
The Mare Who Loved Me (Boncord II)
"I don't think this is what Princess Luna meant when she said to tail her." Bon Bon complained with a roll of her eyes. She and Discord were shrunken down very tiny and riding around on Candy-Gram's back.
"Just be glad I agree that there's moral imperative to use my powers now." Discord huffed.
"Well why can't you just read her mind or something?" Bon Bon asked.
"Because some ponies are very difficult to read. Candy-Gram is definitely one of those ponies." Discord explained.
"And you're sure we won't get caught?" Bon Bon asked.
"Of course not. As long as my powers hold we will be nigh-imperceptible." Discord boasted.
"Great." Bon Bon rolled her eyes. "It's not like your powers get drained from you on a monthly basis by some lazy plot device or anything." She chided.
"Did you just break the fourth wall?" Discord asked gleefully with an adoring look in his eyes.
"Maybe we've been spending a little too much time around each other." Bon Bon teased.
Candy-Gram trotted casually toward the Ponyville town hall. Signage for the fundraiser was posted everywhere and tonight was rehearsal night. As she entered Lyra greeted her at the door.
"Oh! I'm so glad you could come watch the rehearsal!" Lyra beamed as she gave Candy-Gram a hug.
"You know, so far it doesn't seem like she's up to anything." Discord pondered.
"What were you expecting? For her to blurt out all of her intentions in a lengthy monologue? Ponies don't do that." Bon Bon lectured.
"Of course. Ponies lack that kind of dramatic flair!" Discord chided.
The soothing progression of a waltz-type melody from the rehearsal began to fill the air and Bon Bon gave out a sigh. Discord reappeared in a fancy suit and held out his paw to Bon Bon.
"Care to dance?" Discord offered.
"You know if we weren't riding around on my ex-marefriends-new-marefriends back while investigating her for possible links to a dangerous terrorist organization that might actually be a romantic gesture." Bon Bon huffed as she rolled her eyes.
"Everypony take five!" The Band conductor called out after the music number was complete.
Candy-Gram gestured to Lyra and the two sauntered off out the front doors of the town hall. They followed the wooden deck surrounding the building toward the back and looked around to make sure nopony was watching. When they were satisfied Candy-Gram grabbed on to a loose board and pulled up on it, revealing a hidden staircase.
"Now this is some suspicious behavior." Discord pondered.
"I can't believe this was here the whole time without anypony noticing." Bon Bon added.
"But why is Lyra going with her?" Discord stared at Bon Bon, expecting an answer.
"I don't know." Bon Bon said with a sigh.
"Agent Heartstrings. " Candy-Gram stated. "What you are about to see and hear is highly classified and you're to speak to nopony about any of it!" Candy-Gram ordered.
"Agent Heartstrings ?" Discord flashed Bon Bon a confounded look.
"Candy-Gram must have recruited her into the agency." Bon Bon explained with a sigh.
"Can she even do that?" Discord raked his beard.
"Section 105 - Subparagraph B - Emergency Recruitment " Bon Bon repeated in matter-of-fact.
"Of course." Discord acknowledged.
"So, where are we going?" Lyra asked as the hidden staircase leveled off into an underground passageway.
"Terrorists are plotting to disrupt tomorrow's ceremony. I've set up a command center down here to monitor things. I need you to help make sure nopony interrupts my work." Candy-Gram explained as the two approached a large metallic wall toward the end of the passageway with a heavy metallic sliding door.
"Oh no!" Discord called out as he snapped his fingers- materializing himself and Bon Bon behind a large boulder in the passageway just in time to watch Lyra and Candy-Gram disappear behind the door.
"What is it?" Bon Bon asked.
"That metal alloy." Discord breathed a sigh of relief. "It's that anti-magic alloy we're all too familiar with. It would have blown our cover. It sure is growing tiresome as a plot device." Discord rolled his eyes.
"Why would The Sleepless Dusk use such an alloy? Wouldn't they just use more of those spell absorption runes ?" Bon Bon contemplated.
"Then it stands to reason somepony else built this facility." Discord raked his beard. "The only place I've ever known to find the stone to make that alloy is Queen Chrysalis's throne."
"Well who worked on the cleanup after the fall of Queen Chrysalis?" Bon Bon asked.
Discord snapped his fingers and a file folder appeared before him, he flipped through it casually and pulled out a small invoice. "Says here a company called CGL Woozy construction was paid to do the cleanup."
"CGL Woozy ?" Bon Bon pondered for a moment.
"More like a bad anagram for-" Discord started.
"Cozy Glow" The two said in unison.
"Isn't that the name of that filly who tried to steal all the magic?" Discord pondered.
"Maybe we should go pay her a visit." Bon Bon said in a confident tone.
Discord snapped his fingers and the two appeared in Tartarus standing in between Tirek and Cozy Glow's cages.
"Discord!" Tirek called out. "Long time no see."
"Save it, Tirek." Discord huffed at him.
"No hard feelings, right?" Tirek said in a slithery voice.
"I do believe they're here to see me ." An adorable voice called out from the smaller cage next to Tirek's. Cozy glow pressed her cheeks against her front hooves as all eyes moved on her.
"Watch out for her." Tirek warned ominously. "She's a cunning little rat."
"Could we have a little privacy please?" Cozy Glow asked politely as she flipped her locks.
"With pleasure!" Discord snapped his fingers and a black screen encompassed the trio, blocking out the rest of the world.
"I was wondering when you two would finally get here." Cozy Glow chided in an adorable but condescending tone.
"So the bad anagram was deliberate?" Discord pondered.
"You just never know when an easily solved riddle will serve your needs." Cozy Glow beamed with an adorable smile.
"Well if you're so in control down here I have to wonder if getting caught was part of your plan?" Bon Bon asked in an ominous tone.
"It would be much more fun to let you figure that one out on your own." Cozy Glow squeaked gleefully.
"So what do you want from us ?" Bon Bon asked.
"Now what's the fun in cutting straight to the point? I prefer the suspenseful approach." Cozy Glow taunted, adorably, as she fluttered her wings, floating up to eye-level with Bon Bon and pressing her face between her hooves. "What do you know about this ?" Her tone became more serious as she produced a magazine and passed it off to Bon Bon.
"How did you get this!?" Bon Bon demanded; it was one of the classified issues of the Harmony Gazette- Season 3; Issue 19 to be exact.
"What is it?" Discord asked as he stretched his neck over Bon Bon's shoulder to see.
"Let's just say I've had plenty of time in here to figure out how to use this; power of friendship " Cozy Glow boasted as she fluttered high enough to look down upon both Bon Bon and Discord.
"What did you have to do with the Sire's Hollow Observatory Incident? " Bon Bon asked.
"Mister Discord." Cozy Glow pleaded adorably with a bright smile as she cupped her hooves together in a pleading gesture. "Would you be so kind as to use that powerful magic of yours to provide us with a stylish cutaway scene?"
"I suppose." Discord sighed and snapped his fingers.
Sire's Hollow Observatory- Mechanical Room- Season 3 Episode 19 Ultra Secret Bonus Feature; Behind-The-Scenes look:
"Shouldn't double-agent Candy-Gram be here by now?" A younger, smaller, squeakier Cozy Glow asked as she fluttered in circles around Colonel Blackmane. The mechanical room was filled with various machines with conduits and pipes running between them.
"She is on an assignment with Princess Luna." Colonel Blackmane replied in an annoyed tone.
"Good. So did the maintenance pony tell you how to remove the focusing prism?" Cozy Glow asked as she flashed a covetous, but adorable, expression.
"Yes. But he said removing it during the maintenance cycle would cause a big explosion!" Blackmane objected. "What do you even want with this thing?"
"I didn't hire you to ask questions." Cozy Glow replied curtly as she flipped her locks. "The maintenance pony was clearly just trying to scare you away." Cozy Glow fluttered over to an open conduit-like apparatus where a colorful prism was suspended within a stream of crackling arcane energy. "Remove the prism." She ordered ominously.
Blackmane reached over to a console near the open conduit and pressed his hoof against a sequence of buttons. A gust of vapor hissed out of a nearby pipe. He reached up and pulled the prism out and when he did the stream of energy became a chaotic torrent. The building began to shake and alarms began to sound.
"Oh no!" Cozy Glow pressed her hooves against her cheeks. "You must have done something wrong!" Cozy Glow said disingenuously.
Blackmane dived to the floor just in time as the conduit exploded, setting nearby machinery on fire.
"You said this would be safe!" Blackmane complained.
"Well I guess we better get out of here. Give me the prism." Cozy Glow said as she fluttered closer to Blackmane.
"You will pay me first!" Blackmane insisted as he held the prism protectively.
"Oh no!" Cozy Glow looked over at the doorway to the mechanical room. "Candy-Gram is coming!"
"And why is this a bad thing!?" Blackmane asked with a tone of suspicion over the escalating noise as conduits around them began to rupture- leaving the room filled with violent arcane geysers.
"Well you did all the work. I don't want to have to share the payment with her ." Cozy Glow explained as she fluttered behind a nearby machine. "The money is over here."
"I don't see anything." Blackmane said in an annoyed tone as he followed her only to find an arcane geyser erupting from a broken conduit.
"Look closer." Cozy Glow said in a cute voice as she fluttered off behind Blackmane.
Blackmane strained his eyes against the arcane geyser. Cozy Glow darted at him from behind, knocking him into the geyser and instantly vaporizing him. The arcane focusing prism landed on the ground nearby and Cozy Glow picked it up.
"Cozy Glow!" Candy-Gram said, short on breath as she came running up to her. Cozy Glow turned around and stared nervously, unsure if she had witnessed anything. "Where's Blackmane?" Candy-Gram asked.
"Oh I uh." Cozy Glow squeaked as she looked around and then fixated on an open hatch, nearby. "He escaped through that maintenance tunnel there! You better hurry!" She urged as she fluttered over to the hatch. Candy-Gram quickly darted through the hatch as chaos and destruction sounded around them.
"Aren't you coming, too?" Candy-Gram asked as she descended into the tunnel.
"Nope!" Cozy Glow squeaked with a gleeful giggle as she slammed the hatch down behind Candy-Gram and fluttered off and out through a nearby window.
Back in Tartarus:really was a safe place to hide. Oops." Cozy Glow said with a giggle.
"Wait. You worked for The Sleepless Dusk? " Bon Bon raised her hoof to her chin in contemplation.
"More like; The Sleepless Dusk worked for me. I couldn't steal that arcane focusing prism on my own. I was just a little filly." Cozy Glow said in an adorable tone as she fluttered down on to her hooves and flipped her locks.
"How old even were you back then?" Discord raked his beard.
"Let's just say I was an early bloomer." Cozy Glow said with an infectious smile.
"What did you even need the prism for?" Bon Bon asked.
"You just never know when an arcane focusing prism of that exact size will serve your needs." Cozy Glow said as she pressed her hooves into her cheeks. "And it turns out this gamble paid off." Cozy Glow said with a sinister smile as she placed her front hooves up on the bars of her cage. "I found somepony who could craft a weapon out of it. A powerful weapon. The problem is it required a power source that you just can't find here in Equestria. But he happily traded me some for my marble collection." Cozy Glow said with a gleeful giggle.
"So that was you..." Discord contemplated.
"Where do we come in to all this?" Bon Bon asked impatiently.
"Well I never got to finish my weapon. The weapon platform was behind schedule and about a million bits over-budget. " Cozy Glow said with an adorable sigh.
"The train robbery." Bon Bon and Discord said in unison as they looked at each other.
"I don't know how Candy-Gram found it. But word on the wire is that she's going to use it tomorrow night and when she is done the course of Equestria's future will be forever changed." Cozy Glow said ominously.
"But weren't you going to use it?" Discord chided.
"I was only going to flaunt it as a passive symbol of my power as Empress of Friendship !" Cozy Glow snarled back. "If Candy-Gram has her way there will be nopony left to be my friend when I get out of here. " She finished with an adorable frown.
"Well we've been to your facility but it's clad in that anti-magic armor." Discord complained.
"Ah, yes. It's completely impervious to nearly all forms of magic. You'll have to figure out how to stop it from the inside and without magic." Cozy Glow produced a blueprint and passed it off to Bon Bon. "There's a secret entrance, of course."
Discord and Bon Bon looked over the blueprint together.
"Take out Candy-Gram and I will make it completely worth your while." Cozy Glow offered, adorably, with a flip of her locks.
"We'll do it because it's the right thing to do." Bon Bon huffed. "Not because we have any interest in making deals with criminals." Bon Bon looked over to Discord, who then snapped his fingers causing the privacy screen to vanish.
"One last thing." Cozy Glow pleaded. Bon Bon and Discord looked over to her. "If the main cannon is about to fire yell grapefruit !"
"Grapefruit ?" Discord pondered.
"Yes. Grapefruit. I needed a word that nopony has ever uttered before. Say it as loud as you can. Make sure that Shining Armor pony hears you." Cozy Glow explained with a burst of enthusiasm.
Bon Bon and Discord turned their backs and with a snap of Discord's fingers they made their exit.
The Mare Who Loved Me (Boncord II)
Chapter 5 - No, really. Grapefruit
"I'm ruined!" Rarity called out as she swooned melodramatically. The hustle and bustle of final preparations for her fundraiser filled the Ponyville town hall.
"Rarity!" Princess Celestia called out. "Breathe!" She ordered as she trotted over.
Rarity pulled out a paper bag and hyperventilated into it.
"I know you can handle this." Princess Celestia assured. "Now what's the trouble?"
"I ordered dove colored plates for the buffet!" Rarity lamented as she held up a white plate.
"And?" Princess Celestia stared confoundedly at the plate.
"These are eggshell!" Rarity sobbed.
Princess Celestia burst into laughter.
"Hey!" Lyra called out as she walked up to the scene. "Has anypony seen Candy-Gram?"
"Sorry, darling." Rarity replied with a sniffle as she held back her dramatic tears.
"Oh." Lyra frowned. "She said she was going to stop by during setup to wish me luck."
"Well it's a big crowd. I'm sure she's just been blending in somewhere." Princess Celestia assured.
"Yeah." Lyra sighed.
"It looks like Octavia is late." Rarity said. "So if you've finished setting up already you should still have some time to wander around before the final dress rehearsal." Rarity offered.
"Thanks." Lyra said as she sauntered off. She trotted around the room but found no sign of Candy-Gram "I wonder..." she muttered to herself as she crept out the door and trotted over to the secret entrance behind the town hall.
Lyra retraced her steps from the previous night and found herself confronted by a keypad on the heavy metallic door. The keypad chimed harmoniously as she keyed in a sequence she had remembered seeing Candy-Gram use. The door slid open and then shut behind her as she sauntered in. The facility was lined with advanced looking machinery- conduits and clockwork mechanisms filled much of the space.
"Candy-Gram!?" Lyra called out. Three gruff looking crystal ponies stepped out of the shadows and surrounded her.
"Hey, boss! Looks like we have ourselves an intruder." A crystal stallion called out.
"Lyra! What are you doing here!?" Candy-Gram lectured as she trotted over.
"Wait, what's going on?" Lyra asked with a frown.
Candy-Gram pulled the sunglasses from her face as she stepped close to Lyra- revealing octagonal eye highlights- she, too, was a crystal pony. "When I told you to make sure nopony comes near this facility- that included you." She said ominously.
"You- you're the terrorist." Lyra stammered fearfully. She tried to back away but one of the crystal ponies nudged her back towards Candy-Gram.
"And to thank you for the VIP access to the town hall I offer you a front row seat to the reshaping of Equestria's future.." Candy-Gram said with a maniacal laugh.
"Reshaping the future?" Lyra trembled. "What are you planning to do?"
"Well." Candy-Gram unrolled a crude schematic of the inside of the town hall. "Judging by this seating plan I should be able to reshape the entire political future of Equestria with a single shot from the main cannon."
"You won't get away with this!" Lyra lunged toward Candy-Gram but was held back by the other crystal ponies. "Bon Bon will stop you!"
"Bon Bon?" Candy-Gram chuckled. "Didn't you hear about that train explosion yesterday morning? Agent Sweetie Drops and that little pet of hers were on board."
"No!" Lyra cried.
"Blew themselves sky-high to save the rest of the passengers. At least she died a hero." Candy-Gram taunted.
"Don't count on it!" Bon Bon called out as she descended from the ceiling onto Candy-Gram, knocking her to the floor.
"You called that a trap?" Discord taunted as he dropped down behind Lyra's captures and knocked them over with a swipe of his tail.
"Bon Bon!" Lyra called out in relief as she threw herself at Bon Bon and hugged her tightly.
"All in a days work." Discord said smugly as he stepped toward Candy-Gram.
"Watch out!" Bon Bon called out loudly. Discord was walking towards a circular rune on the ground.
As Discord stepped onto the rune there was a bright-white flash and crystals grew from the floor, binding himself, Lyra and Bon Bon in place.
"A valiant effort." Candy-Gram chuckled as she stood back up onto her hooves. "Pity it was for nothing."
The three other crystal ponies rose to their hooves as well.
"There's a storage room that locks from the outside down this hall." Candy-Gram pointed. "Take our guests there. They might have some resale value in the future."
A metallic clank sounded and the storage room grew dark as their captors shoved them into the storage room and locked the door.
"I should have been more careful." Discord sighed.
"We both got a little over-confident." Bon Bon patted Discord comfortingly.
"You can't give up now!" Lyra cheered on.
"This whole place is built out of anti-magic armor." Bon Bon explained with a grim tone.
"It would take a veritable deus ex machina to get us out of here on time." Discord turned his head down in defeat.
"Not necessarily." The voice of a familiar mare called out. Octavia stepped, out of the darkness of the room, toward the trio.
"Octavia!" Lyra ran over and gave Octavia a hug. "How in Equestria did you get in here ?"
"I was worried when you left the rehearsal early last night so I came looking for you. I found that trap door and those crystal ponies captured me and locked me in here." Octavia explained."But I think I know a way out." She added excitedly as she shuffled past the trio and toward the door.
"We're listening." Discord urged her on.
"Well I've had nothing to do but listen to all the sounds of the ponies coming and going from here- punching access codes into those keypads on the doors." Octavia started. "I've heard twelve different tones coming from those keypads."
"Of course!" Lyra burst with excitement.
"I don't think I follow." Bon Bon interjected.
"They use harmonic tones to manipulate the machinery since magic doesn't work in here." Octavia explained.
"So are you saying we're going to sing our way out?" Discord rolled his eyes. "Even if so there must be thousands of possible combinations."
"That's the thing. Every code I've heard is exactly five key-presses. The first and the last note are the same every time." Octavia began explaining.
"And the other three?" Lyra asked excitedly.
"Minor chords." Octavia replied.
"Of course. That narrows it down to only a small number of possibilities since they all have to fall within the same octave!" Lyra gave Octavia another hug. "We just need a musical instrument now."
Discord and Bon Bon stared, perplexed, at each other; long having given up any hope to follow what was going on.
"Luckily, I always bring a spare." Octavia said proudly and with matter-of-fact. When everypony looked at her she was cradling a cello against her body while applying rosin to a bow. "Cross your hooves."
After playing off a salvo of music notes the door to the storage room clanked as the locking mechanism released.
"Good work Agent Melody !" Lyra cheered on.
"Can an emergency recruit recruit another agent like that?" Discord whispered to Bon Bon.
Bon Bon replied with a stare.
"Yes, yes. Section 105 subparagraph B-" Discord started.
"Actually." Bon Bon interrupted. "A misprint put that one in the section on paid sick leave."
Bon Bon peered out the doorway. "Looks like the coast is clear."
As the four agents filed into the hallway the facility began to shake violently and alarms began to sound.
"What's going on!?" Lyra asked in a panic.
"Main cannon will be ready to fire in five minutes." A recording of Cozy Glow's voice echoed through the halls of the facility.
"I think the facility is the weapon platform." Discord pondered.
"We have to get to the control room then!" Bon Bon ordered as she looked over the blueprint. "This way!" She pointed down the hall.
The sound of shattering earth sounded around the facility as it began to jerk, unevenly, as the four raced down the hall to the control room. It was locked. Octavia began playing on her cello until the door unlocked. As they pushed the door they spotted a rune etched into the floor just inside the door.
"I don't know how you got out." Candy-Gram taunted from deep in the room. "But you will never get past that barrier rune."
"She's right." Discord sighed.
"Main cannon ready to fire in two minutes." The recording of Cozy Glow's voice sounded.
Bon Bon and Discord looked at each other. "Grapefruit!" They repeated.
"Grapefruit?" Lyra asked.
"We have to get out of here!" Bon Bon took off down the hall way and the three others followed.
Back at the Ponyville town hall as the crowd gathered Princess Celestia stepped up to a podium and cleared her throat.
"The band is running behind schedule so I thought this would be a great opportunity to make a speech." Celestia spoke as she looked around. Princess Luna was conspicuously circling the room, checking in with her security detail- Rarity was catatonic. Shining Armor and Princess Cadence smiled nervously at the crowd.
Before Princess Celestia could continue the ground began to quake violently.
"What's that!?" A random voice in the crowd called out in a panic.
Princess Celestia breathed a momentary sigh of relief at the diversion. Everypony in the room gathered around near the windows. A gigantic metallic unicorn stepped from a gaping chasm that opened up in the ground a short distance away from the town hall.
"Oh, no!" Another pony screamed as the crowd began to panic.
Discord, Bon Bon, Lyra and Octavia leaped out through a hatch on the underbelly of the giant unicorn and began scrambling toward the town hall.
"Sweet Celestia!" A random bystander in the crowd called out. "This is just like that time a fifty hoof tall GammaWyvern attacked Manehattan!"
"It was only ten hoofs tall!" Discord shouted back. "Grapefruit!" He shouted. Bon Bon began shouting it as well. Octavia and Lyra shrugged at each other and joined in.
The giant unicorn stopped and began leveling it's horn toward the town hall and arcs of magical energy began to crackle red all around it.
"What's going on out there?" Shining Armor asked Princess Cadence, who stepped over to the window to look out.
"There's a giant mechanical unicorn coming this way and some ponies are yelling 'grapefruit'?" Cadence answered.
Something popped in Shining Armor's mind as Cadence uttered the word 'grapefruit'.
School of Friendship Semester 1 - Crystal Empire Field Trip.
"Grapefruit!" Cozy Glow called out as she pulled a lever attached to a storm cloud. It sent a painful jolt of electricity into Shining Armor who was tied down to a slab nearby in a dark, forgotten, room in the disused dungeon of the Crystal Palace. "Professor Twilight was right! This is the funnest field trip, ever!"
"Why are you doing this to me!?" Shining Armor pleaded.
"Grapefruit!" Cozy Glow called out as she administered another electric shock. "Because you just never know when a brainwashed unicorn who can erect an energy shield powerful enough to protect an entire kingdom will serve your needs!" She squeaked gleefully.
"Please just let me go!" Shining Armor pleaded.
"Don't worry. We have plenty of time to hang out before I have to meet back up with the other students." Cozy Glow said joyfully as she pressed her hooves against her cheeks.
"Leave me alone!" Shining Armor shouted angrily as a surge of magic solidified into a shield spell and shattered the walls of the town hall just as the unicorn fired a powerful blast at the town hall. The two magical blasts met in a blinding flash of light and Shining Armor fell to the floor in a daze.
"Shining!" Cadence called out as she knelt beside Shining Armor.
"Is he alright?" Princess Celestia asked as she caught up.
"That one blast took every bit of his magic to stop." Cadence said in an ominous tone of disbelief.
Discord and Bon Bon watched the spectacular display of the cannons power with absolute awe. They looked back toward the giant unicor- at the eyes, which were windows to the control room. They could see frustration in Candy-Gram's eyes.
"According to the design specs she'll be able to fire again in five minutes." Bon Bon said with dread as she looked over to Discord.
"I somehow doubt Shining Armor has another one of those left." Discord sighed.
The Mare Who Loved Me (Boncord II)
Chapter 6 - Our Strange Duet
Twilight Sparkle swooped down and landed beside the three other princesses, delivered an affirming nod and the four of them took off and began firing magical blasts at the giant mechanical unicorn as they circled around it. Their attacks were completely ineffective and it simply shrugged them off as though they were swarming gnats.
"Princess Luna!" Bon Bon called out as she beckoned with a wave.
Princess Luna landed in front of Bon Bon and Discord. "Report." She ordered.
"You're wasting your strength. That thing is completely impervious to our magic." Discord explained.
"And it will be ready to fire again any minute now." Bon Bon warned.
Princess Luna nodded and took off, returning to Celestia's side. "Sister! You and the others must retreat!" She warned.
"I am not going to flee and leave our kingdom to be destroyed!" Celestia snarled.
"If you fall this kingdom has no future ." Luna pleaded.
Energy began to crackle in the air as the unicorn began tracking its horn at Princess Cadence.
"Cadence!" Luna warned. In a blink of magic she teleported to Cadence's side and nudged her out of the way of the blast from the horn. A searing red beam of energy passed between them and struck a row of businesses nearby, disintegrating them. Cadence and Luna struggled briefly to maintain their orientation in the air as it became turbulent in the wake of the beam.
"You're right." Celestia said with a sigh as she caught back up to Luna. "But I won't sit idle. Cadence, Twilight and I will evacuate Ponyville. You and the agents find a way to stop that thing !" Celestia ordered.
"You can't hide from me forever!" Candy-Gram's voice boomed through a loudspeaker on the head of the mechanical unicorn.
"Any ideas?" Luna asked as she landed back beside Bon Bon and Discord.
"You're hurt!" Bon Bon said with concern, noting some seared feathers on Luna's wings.
"I'll be fine." Luna insisted.
"Well that bought us another five minutes." Discord said as he looked down at a wristwatch on his arm.
"This is hopeless!" Bon Bon lamented.
"I have an idea..." Octavia chimed in as she and Lyra rejoined the group. She whispered something to Lyra.
"I'll go get my lyre!" Lyra said enthusiastically as she ran off and started digging through the debris from the town hall.
Octavia ran over to the crowd and pulled Vinyl Scratch aside, who was rendered otherwise oblivious to the situation by the heavy monitoring headphones over her ears which were attached to a portable mixing board.
Vinyl Scratch looked up at her and shrugged.
Octavia pulled one of the headphone cups away from Vinyl's ear and whispered something to her.
Vinyl nodded and then pressed a button on the mixing board and a small performance stage unfolded. Octavia stepped up with her Cello. Lyra caught up with her lyre and joined Octavia up on the stage. A scintillating, blue stream of magic flowed out of Vinyl's horn as she began channeling a spell into the mixing board. A crowd of curious onlookers began to gather around.
"What are they doing?" Discord pondered loudly to Luna and Bon Bon- who looked at each other and shrugged.
The mechanical unicorn leveled its horn toward Bon Bon, Luna and Discord and energy began to crackle as it prepared to fire.
Octavia and Lyra began playing a dramatic orchestral melody. The music notes began, visually, rippling through the air and interacting with the spell Vinyl Scratch was channeling. The music began to shape into a brilliant, translucent unicorn made of enchanted music, matching the size of the mechanical unicorn. Vinyl Scratch's makeshift studio, along with the three musicians, rose up as the unicorn's head formed around it.
Bon Bon, Luna and Discord all scattered as the mechanical unicorn fired on them. The musical unicorn fired a beam of its own. The two beams met, midair and exploded into a blinding, deafening shock-wave which knocked ponies over and shattered the windows of buildings in its wake.
"What!?" Candy-Gram screamed in disbelief through the loudspeaker.
"Of course." Discord pondered as Bon Bon and Luna rejoined his side. "Impervious to nearly all forms of magic."
"I guess this one is out of our hooves now." Bon Bon sighed.
"That one, final, moment of glory seems to always go to somepony else." Discord commiserated.
The mechanical unicorn lunged toward the musical unicorn- which turned around and delivered a swift buck to the chest. The ground quaked as the mechanical unicorn fell and slid back, leveling several buildings in its path. As the mechanical unicorn rose back to its hooves it fired a salvo of blasts toward the musical unicorn. The crowd scattered as several of the blasts exploded and left craters in the ground. One blast struck the musical unicorn which fell backwards onto a building, crushing it.
"We're too evenly matched!" Lyra shouted to her counterparts as her music broke into a crescendo. "We need something to give us an edge."
Octavia leaned over and lifted one of Vinyl's headphone cups and whispered something to her. Vinyl nodded and produced a pair of microphones.
The musical unicorn rose back to its hooves and stomped over to the trio of Luna, Discord and Bon Bon.
"We need vocals!" Lyra pleaded.
"Why does it have to be us!?" Bon Bon complained.
"Are you crazy? Nopony can improvise both vocals and instrumentation at the same time." Lyra retorted.
"I'm not a singer!" Bon Bon shouted.
"But I've seen you doing background vocals in musical numbers before!" Lyra levitated the microphones toward Bon Bon.
"I just lip-synced and copied what everypony else was doing!" Bon Bon hung her head in shame.
"I've done a musical number before." Discord sighed as he reached for the microphones. "Just follow my lead." he passed one to Bon Bon.
The mechanical unicorn turned its head toward the group so Candy-Gram could watch the development.
"You take over!" Candy-Gram ordered as she passed off the controls to one of her cohorts.
"Where are you going, boss?" The cohort asked.
"I have some other business to attend to." Candy-Gram explained.
The group watched as Candy-Gram dropped from the hatch on the underbelly of the mechanical unicorn and galloped off toward the horizon.
"I'll take care of her. You two- bring the house down. " Luna ordered with a wink before taking to the sky and soaring in the direction Candy-Gram went.
"Ahem." Feedback squealed in the air as Discord cleared his throat into his microphone as he climbed up on the stage with Bon Bon.
The crowd grew silent as all eyes were on Discord, waiting for him to begin; only the sound of the mechanical unicorn stomping toward them and the energetic crackle of its horn preparing to fire could now be heard. He materialized a scrap of paper containing some lyrics and stared at it and sighed.
"He's nervous!" A random stallion in the crowd heckled.
"He looks calm and ready to me." The mare beside him replied.
"But he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down!"
"Any time now!" Lyra urged as she and Octavia began playing a melancholy melody.
Discord started off with a slow, melancholy ballad. He sounded out of practice as all eyes turned in dread on the mechanical unicorn as it fired off a shot.
Jaws dropped as Bon Bon piped in with a beautiful and operatic chorus. Vinyl moved a slider on her mixing board, adding an upbeat brass accompaniment to the sound. Lyra and Octavia switched their tone to match.
As the crowd started feeling the music, energy crackled all throughout the structure of the musical unicorn. With a flash of magic a shield formed in front of it and deflected the shot from the mechanical unicorn off course, where it vaporized one of the spires of the distant School of Friendship .
"These lyrics!" The heckling stallion swooned to his companion with a beaming smile. "I've never felt so inspired before!"
"I really feel like a better pony for hearing them." The mare agreed.
"I feel sorry for anypony who doesn't hear these words. They've really missed out on a once in a lifetime opportunity."
The horn of the musical unicorn charged and crackled with magical energy as crowds gathered tightly around in the street and began to sing along to the chorus. The operator of the mechanical unicorn trembled in fear as the musical unicorn leveled its horn and unleashed a powerful torrent of magical energy. The mechanical unicorn disintegrated and the torrent of energy carried on, leaving a long trench in the ground where many buildings used to stand. As the dust settled the crowd of bystanders began to cheer.
"We did it!" Lyra cheered.
"Not yet. Let's go help Princess Luna!" Bon Bon ordered.
Princess Luna's pursuit ended on a narrow cliff-side which overlooked Ponyville. As she caught up to Candy-Gram they both saw the spectacle in Ponyville conclude from a distance. Princess Luna quietly swooped down onto her hooves and began trotting toward Candy-Gram who stood with her back to Luna and stared over the edge.
"It's over now." Luna said calmly.
Candy-Gram remained silent.
"At least answer me one question. Did any of it mean anything to you? Do you not feel anything real for any pony at all?" Luna asked tearfully.
"Still sore about that, are you?" Candy-Gram chuckled. "At first I loved you too. I feel that same fleeting joy anypony else does. But when its over I get back to the task at hoof."
"You mistake lust for love." Luna hung her head and sighed. "Love is a commitment that goes beyond fleeting joy. Sometimes it means making difficult choices."
"I understand that better than you think." Candy-Gram turned around. She was holding a pulsating red crystal.
"What's that?" Luna asked with dread.
"It's the substance that fueled my weapon. Pure arcane energy- refined and crystallized. This is all that I could carry with me. Not enough to salvage my master plan." Candy-Gram explained. "But when I smash this crystal the sky will light up, brighter than the sun, all the way to Cloudsdale. And when ponies come to investigate; all they will find is our charred and broken bodies."
"What good would dying be to you?" Luna asked as she stepped closer.
"I will become the martyr The Sleepless Dusk needs. Your death will spark animosity toward the crystal ponies who will have no choice but to fall into our ranks. It will spark a civil war that will last generations!" Candy-Gram's voice seethed with demented ambition as she held the crystal up high.
"Stop!" Luna cried out as she jumped at Candy-Gram. She fell short in the middle of a rune that had been hastily etched into the loose soil and began wincing in pain.
"You Equestrian ponies." Candy-Gram chuckled. "Always falling into obvious traps."
Luna strained as energy began to glow in her horn.
"If you fire at me you will set this off and the result will be the same." Candy-Gram chided.
Dramatic orchestral music began to sound as the musical unicorn, now with a pair of beating wings, floated up into view from below the precipice and hovered at eye-level. A gust from one of its wing flaps sent the crystal flying out of Candy-Gram's hoof and onto the ground nearby. The gust also scrambled the rune that had ensnared Princess Luna.
"No!" Candy-Gram screamed. She and Luna both scrambled for the crystal. Luna kicked it away toward the edge of the cliff with her hoof as the four agents watched the struggle from the air nearby.
Luna cast a beam of magic at Candy-Gram; sending her stumbling over the edge of the cliff near the crystal. Candy-Gram now hung over the edge by her front hooves.
"Give me your hoof!" Luna ordered as she approached Candy-Gram. "It doesn't have to end this way." Luna held her hoof out.
"Why would you save me, after all that I have done?" Candy-Gram snarled.
"Love is all about making difficult choices." Luna explained as she reached lower.
Candy-Gram reached up with one hoof and Luna grabbed hold. As Luna pulled her up Candy-Gram reached the other hoof for the crystal.
"Why?" Luna whispered as a tear started to form in her eye. Luna let go- sending Candy-Gram tumbling over the edge with the crystal. As the crystal struck the ground below the ground shook and the sky turned bright-red. The tear slid off her face as a searing fireball reached all the way back up to the cliff-side.
Without a word Princess Luna climbed aboard the musical unicorn and the team returned to Ponyville, landing near what used to be the town hall. As the musicians stopped playing and Vinyl stopped channeling the spell the unicorn faded, and the performance stage folded back in- leaving just the mixing board.
"That was amazing!" Lyra cheered.
"Without you we never could have stopped Ponyville from being destr-" Bon Bon interrupted herself as she looked around, making note of the collateral devastation.
"Beaten the bad guy." Discord corrected on her behalf.
"I'm really sorry your new marefriend turned out to be a horrible villain that preferred death over being captured." Bon Bon said with awkward shuffle.
"Are you kidding!?" Lyra chimed in cheerfully. "If it wasn't for all this craziness I never would have met these two incredible mares!" Lyra cheered as she shared a group hug with Octavia and Vinyl.
The crowd regathered around the group and started to cheer "Encore! "
"They mean you, too." Lyra said with a smile as she looked at Bon Bon and Discord.
"Thanks for the offer." Bon Bon said as she raised her hoof in a gesture of polite dismissal. "But I'm perfectly happy with the life I have." Bon Bon said with a smile as she exchanged a lengthy hug with Discord.
"Sister!" Luna called out as she saw the other three princesses return and land a small distance away. She quickly rejoined then and began conversing in the distance.
"You know." Bon Bon said as she broke out of the hug. "Without any walls left to block your view- this would be a perfect time to see who Fluttershy is with."
"Fluttershy can take care of herself." Discord said as he brought Bon Bon back into an embrace. "I need to focus on what is important to me." The two exchanged a passionate kiss.
"I feel like we're forgetting something." Bon Bon said with a sigh as the kiss ended.
"Discord! Bon Bon!" Twilight Sparkle interrupted as she trotted over to the duo.
"Oh, right." Discord hung his head in defeat.
"I just want you to know that I'm sorry." Twilight Sparkle said as she trailed off with an apologetic frown.
"You are?- I mean you are. " Discord flashed a stern, but confused, expression.
"It was wrong of me to go around pointing hooves the way I did. Cozy Glow confessed to her exclusive involvement in the GammaWyvern attack on Manehattan. Though I'm still not sure how she pulled it off."
"She's a cunning little rat, that one." Discord added.
"Well. I'll leave you two lovebirds alone." Twilight laughed nervously before flying off.
"A cold comfort." Bon Bon said in a grim tone as her heart sank.
"I can't say I'm hot about being on a quid pro quo basis with that little psychopath either." Discord gave a heavy sigh as he watched the sun begin to set. "I know this probably isn't the Hearts and Hooves Day you had in mind."
"No." Bon Bon said. "It was better." She said with a smile as she embraced Discord. The two kissed passionately as the sun crept below the horizon.
All the while Rarity stared vacantly and speechlessly across the devastation that was once the fundraiser she had worked so hard to plan, discernible from a statue only by the occasional twitching of her eye.
View Online
The Mare Who Loved Me (Boncord II)
Chapter 2 - Wine Her, Dine Her, Undermine Her
"You know if I hadn't made that promise I could have just altered reality and made a reservation for us. We could be 'coincidentally ' sitting right beside them." Discord said to Bon Bon with a sigh as a pretentiously dressed waiter-pony lead them to a table. The crowd was plentiful but calm. The couple found themselves seated near to Matilda and Cranky Doodle Donkey and a number of strangers.
"But then you wouldn't be somepony worth going to a place like this with." Bon Bon replied as she looked around at the pretentious decor and then began to fuss with her menu.
"Fluttershy could be anywhere in this crowd." Discord complained as he peered around. "I'm going to go look around."
Discord got up and started wandering around the restaurant in search of Fluttershy as Bon Bon let out a sigh and flipped noncommittally through the menu.
"What are you doing here!?" Rainbow Dash demanded as she unexpectedly popped into Discord's path. Discord recoiled in surprise at the unexpected encounter. "You're not here to spy on Fluttershy, are you?"
"Of course not! I'm here on a romantic date with Bon Bon." Discord pointed back at the table where Bon Bon sat, waiting impatiently.
"Then why aren't you at the table?" Rainbow Dash pushed.
"I need to stretch out before I eat. Don't want to pull a ham -string" Discord appeared in jogging clothes and passed a large ham to Rainbow Dash.
"I'm watching you!" Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes as Discord pushed passed her and continued his search.
"Discord!" Another voice called out. Discord turned around and found Twilight Sparkle standing behind him. "We didn't finish our little chat earlier." Twilight said insistently.
"Can't you see I'm busy right now!?" Discord complained. "I'm trying to have a romantic evening with Bon Bon."
"Good. I have some questions I'd like to ask her too." Twilight said with a smirk.
"Now what kind of 'Princess of Friendship' would you be if you went around crashing dinner dates like this?" Discord lectured disingenuously.
"I see what you're trying to do. You're just using her as an exuse-" Twilight's escalating tirade was interrupted by Discord's claw in her face in a 'shush ' gesture.
"Well that's what you think. But I'm just trying to picture the headlines . 'Princess Twilight Sparkle- smarmy politico by day- jealous homewrecker by night'. I just feel sorry for that brother of yours- Shaggy Armor, is it?"
"Shining Armor" Twilight muttered in correction as she forced Discord's claw away from her face. She was now seething with rage.
"Imagine him; having to deal with all of your envy every time you are reminded that he is happily married and you are not ." Discord chided.
"Enough!" Twilight shouted angrily. The sound of a torrent of silverware being dropped onto plates surged through the restaurant and when it was done the restaurant was completely silent and all eyes were on Twilight. "I mean I've wasted enough of your time. Please continue on your romantic date." She said with a nervous laugh.
"Avec pleasure!" Discord exclaimed as he snapped his fingers and disappeared.
"I'll be watching you." Twilight muttered as he left.
"Nice of you to join me." Bon Bon said with a roll of her eyes as Discord materialized back in his seat across from her. "Did you find her?".
"We have more pressing matters. Twilight Sparkle is here!" Discord explained in a panic.
"That's not all." Bon Bon said ominously as she cocked her head to the side. Lyra and Candy-Gram were seated just a few tables away.
"She's still dating that secret agent, I see." Discord pondered.
"Oh, no." Bon Bon stared down nervously. "I bet she's part of the investigation against us."
"Do you really think so?" Discord stared conspicuously across the room.
"Just think about it. Why would Lyra want to come play at a small time fundraiser back here in Ponyville ? Twilight Sparkle is friends with the organizer so she, easily, could have pushed for Lyra to play here so she could get agent Candy-Gram stationed in town. She was there. She's the obvious choice for heading the investigation." Lyra buried her face in her hooves. "We're in serious trouble."
"Well let's not jump to conclusions." Discord suggested. "Maybe it's all just a silly coincidence."
"Well if you hadn't made that stupid promise we would already know that!" Bon Bon shouted.
"I'm trying to have a quiet dinner over here with my wife!" Cranky Doodle Donkey shouted from the neighboring table.
"I don't need my magic for this. We just need a diversion." Discord whispered with a wink.
"Well that's your specialty, isn't it?" Bon Bon whispered back.
Discord lashed his tail out into the aisle, tripping a passing waiter pony who spilled a tray full of drinks on Candy-Gram as he fell to the ground.
"Hey!" Candy-Gram yelped.
"Here, let me-" Lyra's horn glowed as her magic formed an ethereal hand which picked up a napkin from the table and dabbed at the hopeless deluge of various drinks all over Candy-Gram.
"It's no use!" Candy-Gram complained angrily as she stood tall from the table. "Excuse me while I go use the little fillies room."
Lyra sighed and stared down at the table.
"Go stall her at the washroom." Discord ordered.
"Still not one for subtlety, huh?" Bon Bon sighed as she got up and headed to the washroom.
"Hey!" Discord shouted out to the whole restaurant. "It's that famous Lyra Heartsrings and she's giving out free autographs!" A slight commotion formed as restaurant patrons began amassing near Lyra.
"Now." Discord snickered quietly to himself as he reached into Candy-Gram's bag which she had stowed underneath the table. "Tell me what secrets you hold."
Bon Bon whistled conspicuously as she sauntered into the washroom and found Candy-Gram fumbling with a hoof dryer, wearing an undignified expression.
"Hey!" Bon Bon called out. "Are you new to Ponyville? I've never seen you around town before. Small town. You know." She asked with a sly tone.
"You could say that. Just passing through, really." Candy-Gram explained with an identical candor. "If you don't mind." Candy-Gram cocked her head to the side to draw attention to her predicament and then gave a relenting sigh. "Sorry. I don't mean to be rude." Candy-Gram held out her front hoof for a hoofshake.
"The name's Swe- I mean Bon-" Bon Bon reached back and gave a firm hoofshake. "Bon Bon"
"Bon Bon!?" Candy-Gram drew back and gave a hearty chuckle. "Lyra's old marefriend ?"
"Wait you-" Bon Bon's face drooped in shock and humiliation.
"Oh, Lyra told me all about you." Candy-Gram continued.
"And just what did she say?" Bon Bon began trembling. "You know what? I don't need to know that. It was nice meeting you but I really have to get back." She stumbled nervously. "It was real nice meeting you, Sugar Drops, was it?" Bon Bon began walking off.
"I never told you my name." Candy-Gram said in an ominous tone.
Bon Bon stopped and looked back. "I'm sure you did." She said with a nervous laugh.
"Don't let me hold you up- agent." Candy-Gram insisted in a menacing tone as Bon Bon darted out of the washroom in a panic.
Bon Bon returned to the table to find Discord sitting with a sly grin on his face.
"So." Bon Bon gave a nervous laugh as she sat back down. "Did you find anything interesting?"
"Just that Candy-Gram there has a train ticket from Appleoosa tomorrow morning." Discord boasted.
"You mean a train ticket to Appleoosa?" Bon Bon corrected.
"Nope. It looks like she'll be flying to Appleoosa by balloon tonight only to take a one-way train ride from Appleoosa to Canterlot in the morning. " Discord explained. "Perhaps we should be on that train too."
"Yeah. Good Idea. Sure. Can we get out of here now?" Bon Bon replied curtly.
"Why are you in such a hurry? We still have to find Fluttershy." Discord complained.
Bon Bon stared blankly as she watched Candy-Gram saunter back to her table and stare at her menacingly. "So I might have accidentally revealed to Candy-Gram that I know her alias and then she called me 'agent'. " Bon Bon said with a nervous laugh.
"You what!? " Discord replied angrily. The whole restaurant heard and grew silent as eyes started staring in their direction.
"Well maybe if you shared your ideas with me once in a while before committing to them!" Bon Bon yelled as she stood up.
"Well it worked, didn't it!?" Discord snapped back.
"Because you always give yourself the easy part and I do all the thinking!" Bon Bon huffed back.
"Well I-" Discord was interrupted by Bon Bon's hoof in his face.
Bon Bon cocked her head sideways. Discord followed her head and saw that Twilight Sparkle was standing some distance away, glaring at them.
"Oh, great." Discord huffed. "I told Twilight Sparkle we were here on a romantic date and now she can clearly see we are up to no good." Discord lectured under his breath.
"Every couple has arguments." Bon Bon lectured back.
"Yes but then they kiss and make up." Discord got up and stepped toward Bon Bon.
"Not right now." Bon Bon said.
"But we need to look more couple-like so Twilight doesn't get suspicious." Discord said as he moved closer yet.
"I'm not doing this in publi-" Bon Bon was interrupted as Discord pulled her close and kissed her on the lips. "Stop it!" Bon Bon pushed him away. The crowds eyes grew ever more intent.
"Well now this looks even worse! " Discord huffed angrily.
"Is this what you want!?" Bon Bon shouted as she grabbed on to Discord and began kissing him passionately as the onlookers watched.
Discord pushed her away. "Well now you're the one over-doing it."
"What if I want it now!?" Bon Bon gleamed hungrily at Discord and then bucked him down onto the table which fell apart with a crash as he landed on his back.
"What in Celestia's name is wrong with you!?" Discord snapped as Bon Bon jumped on top of him.
"I don't know how you get me all worked up like this. But now I really want it. " Bon Bon said with a devilish grin.
"This is hardly the appropriate venue!" Discord lectured as Bon Bon's passionate advance grew more aggressive.
"It's been a while." Bon Bon complained.
"Why don't you two get a darn room!?" Cranky Doodle Donkey piped in angrily.
"With pleasure!" Discord said as he reached up from the tangle of bodies and snapped his fingers. He and Bon Bon disappeared in a flash of light and then reappeared in an instant. Bon Bon's front legs were slung around his neck and both were disheveled and panting.
"Well that was fast." Cranky Doodle Donkey chided as a hearty chuckle roared from within the crowd.
"We used a time compression spell!" Discord complained.
"Sure thing." Crankly Doodle Donkey replied.
"Tell them!" Discord demanded of Bon Bon.
"Mmhmm!" Bon Bon mumbled with a look of extreme pleasure on her face as she fell asleep with her front legs still slung around Discord's neck.
"Well. If you excuse us we're just going to be off on our own now." Discord said nervously as he snapped his fingers and the two disappeared.
"Waiter!" Matilda flagged down a waiter-pony. "I'll have whatever she had."
Cranky Doodle Donkey glared at Matilda, unimpressed by her joke.
"Actually, they didn't even order anything." The waiter pony explained with a confounded expression.
