I made it take five days for my ribs to heal instead of allowing my medium to fix them more quickly in order to avoid raising suspicion so soon.

If you are unfamiliar with my work you probably don’t know my medium is one of my oldest abilities. When I first decided I would journey into fictional worlds full of danger and excitement I thought of all the magical items and other cool stuff I wanted to get and realised how difficult it would be to carry all that around.

I also thought of the powers that characters had and how much I wanted them even though some were not compatible with others. Then I thought of Venom from The Amazing Spiderman cartoon came up with a solution. I went into Disney’s Aladdin and borrowed the lamp before Aladdin wish the genie free and gave the genie a list of all the abilities my medium would have to possess.

On its own, it can give me shapeshifting and some powerful healing abilities that make me a bit harder to kill than normal. In fact, if Nightmare Moon had of dealt what would on any a normal person should have been a killing blow it probably just have put me into a healing coma while it worked to repair the damage. When I get injured my medium quickly form plugs to seal the wound and then form strong microscopic threads to pull the served flesh back before flooding the area with extra cellular matrix which acts as a scaffold for cell growth. The threads are strong enough that I can often fight completely unhindered by my injury even if it’s a broken arm. when combined with my shapeshifting I can hide the fact that I was ever injured in the first place.

Oh, quick side note but I didn’t invent extra cellular matrix it exists in the real world and is used in a product called “Vetigel” it can stop a bleeding wound in seconds but I last checked it was only approved for use on animals and still awaiting FDA approval for human testing.

But anyway Nightmare Moon was seeking to destroy me and would have likely have blown me in half which would have sent me into a healing coma so deep that I would appear dead for the first two weeks which would probably have lead to Twilight and her friends burying me alive.
Now I did plan for such a scenario in my list of requirements but having to dig your way out of your own grave is a most unpleasant experience. I also tend to have some trouble convincing others that I’m not a zombie or a vampire when that happens.

However it's true purpose is to allow me to absorb, copy, steal or channel the abilities of others. Those clothes I'm wearing are a part of my medium and all those times I caught Nightmare Moon's attacks I was absorbing the power from the into my own reserves.

My medium allows me to completely absorb characters into myself allowing me to use their powers, and abilities as my own and even their personality traits if I want to, I'm kind of like Kirby or Mar Jinn Buu in that sense.

I absorbed the character Pitch Black also know as the boogie man from “Jack Frost The Rise of The Guardians.” From him, I get my fear sensing and feeding abilities along with my black “Nightmare” sand. I could have used it to send Nightmare Moon to fall asleep and have a nightmare but that wouldn’t have been fun. I can also make it form horses and have them attack people but they leave you alone if you’re not afraid of them which is lame but whatever. Oh and this neat teleporting using shadows ability, all my other teleporting methods are sealed right now.
Next, I’m using a stolen blood sample from Mr Needful from “Rick and Morty” who was actually the devil in a mortal body. The blood sample let me copy his ability to know a persons name and greats desires so now I do too. Plus it lets me play the fiddle which isn't really a power, I just think it's neat.

I also have the reaper eyes from “Death Note” which shows me a person's name when I see their face and how long they have to live. I have a feeling that will be very important in my new line of work as a mortician as I wouldn't want to bury anyone alive now would I, yes I have Ki sensing I learnt from DBZ but it has its limits.

Then there’s just my unicorn body that was constructed with skills learnt from the Bleach universe. It has its own magic but the only spells I currently know for it are levitation, will o' wisp and some simple illusion spells.

I have few other minor powers active that I get from channelling objects but they're not important right now so I will get to those later.
.....

Once I was allowed to leave the hospital I stealthy made my way over to Mayor Mare's office and made her secretary jump when I announced myself.

“Hello Miss Neat Notes”

The startled Miss Neat Notes almost tears the newspaper she had been reading in surprise.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn't hear you come in. You that new stallion who spoke to Nightmare Moon In front of everypony at in the town hall aren’t you?”

Now that I can see her face my reapers eye do their thing.

(Neat Notes, time left to live: 94 years, 9 months, 1 week, 3 days, 5 hours 2 minutes 12 seconds)

That’s about what I've been getting for most earth ponies, they live quite a bit longer than the other pony races Neat Notes here is in her early thirties. Next, I checked her heart's desire and she must have had a break up recently as the thing she wants the most right now is a coltfriend to won’t cheat on her. Then I use my fear sense and it tells me she's afraid of spiders, how mundane.

“Yes that’s right, my name is Grim Gill, nice to meet you.”

I have my usual creepy grin but I add the illusion of a small spider hanging from the rim of my top hat where it would be out of my line of sight but Neat Notes can see it clearly. She gulps trying to ignore it but I can feel the small trickles of fear from her.

“N-nice to meet you too Mr Grim Gill, how can I help you t-today?”

“I’m looking to purchase a place of business and residence here in Ponyville. Do you have any properties listed?”

“Ah yes, we might have what you are looking for bare with me for a moment whilst I check.”

She stands up and walks over to a filing cabinet, opens a draw and runs her hoof down the files before closing it and opening the drawer below it, takes out a folder and walks back over to the desk. She opens the file and looks through it before placing one of the listed property sheets before me.

“We don’t have anything available at the moment other than this one, it's a two-story property just off the high street at number 6 Barrow lane.”

I had already known about it of course as I had set it up when I was making this world. It's one block west from Pinkie Pie at Sugar Cube Corner which is at number 16 Sweet Street and two blocks north from Rarity’s Carousel Boutique which is at 21 Saddle Way. I spend a minute pretending to read property sheet before we continue.

“It looks good I'll take it.”

She asks me if I want to view the property first and seems relieved when I say no. In quick order we sort out the details and I pay the 24000 bits for property and she gives me the deed and the keys and I leave to get myself moved in.
......
Later as I am walking through town to the hardware store. It would seem that when I conjured up my saddlebag and trunk I forgot to make carpentry tools I will need for building coffins. I see Fluttershy walking backwards through town guiding some ducks with their ducklings. If ducks in Equestria are anything like ducks in the real world then they're really good at losing their children.

Of course, walking backwards means she's not looking where she's going and she bumps into Gilda.
(Gilda Breezhart, time left to live: 77 years, 6 months, 3 weeks, 4 days, 20 hours, 5 minutes, 30 seconds)

“Hey, I'm walking hear! Look where you're going you stupid yellow, oh it’s you hardly fly.”

Fluttershy recognises one of her bullies from junior speedsters flight school and acts like her normal nervous self.

“G-G-Gilda! N-nice too see you. How are you?”

“Well, I was doing fine until you bumped into me you dumb foal. Why don’t you watch where you're going?”

“I’m sorry”

Gilda mocks her.
“I’m sorry, I'm sorry. Oh, grow some backbone already hardly fly.”

Fluttershy tries to say something but Gilda roars in her face which sends Fluttershy running off crying.

I got my frowning face on now, as much as a little treat Fluttershy's fear is for me that hybrid bitch is going to get it.

I chuck a small ball of Nightmare sand in her direction and it beans her in the head. The crowd she had attracted with her roaring watches her collapse to the ground twitching fearful in her sleep.

“Grimmy!” shouts Pinkie Pie who having seen the whole thing rushes over to me.
“Grimmy, what did you do?”

I see no reason to lie to Pink provider of confectionery and tell the truth.

“I didn’t approve of her treatment of our overly-sensitive friend Fluttershy. So I made the meanie go nighty night for a bit with my sand, she'll be fine when she wakes up in a few minutes but for now, she’s having a bad dream because that’s what happens someone beans you in the head with nightmare sand.”

Pronks is not at all happy to learn my black sand cause nightmares.

Gasp! “Grimmy that’s terrible, you shouldn’t go around causing nightmares! That’s not nice at all!”

“I don’t do it to be nice Pinkie, I do it because nightmares are creepy but you know what? Maybe a more effective way to deal with miss grumpy griffon here would be to throw her a party. Maybe if we can make her happy she'll stop being mean and we can all be friends, wouldn’t that be something?”

Gasp! “That’s a great idea Grimmy! A party is just the thing to turn Gilda's frown upside down. We need to start planning right away!”

Before I can get a word in I’m being dragged across town by my favourite maniac. It doesn’t look like I’m going to be able to build any coffins for my showroom today.
.....

Three hours later the party is ready and by my suggestion, a piñata has been added because sometimes you just need to hit something with a stick.
As the guests arrive I blend into the shadows of the room, Rainbow Dash comes in with Gilda and Pinkie Pie pranks her a joy buzzer.

The party plays out mostly as it does in the show only at a slower with Gilda setting off the pranks at a slower pace. She eats the spiced vanilla lemon drops that make her breath fire and then spilling punch on herself with the dribble cup. The cake is wheeled out with candles on it despite the fact that neither Pinkie nor I placed them there because this isn't a birthday party.

Spike wants to blow out the candles but Twilight tells him no because he isn’t the guest of honour. When Gilda tries to blow them out they are revealed to be trick candles that relight themselves and when the candles are finally out for good Spike ruins the cake before anyone can have a slice by digging into the side and chewing his way through it making a tunnel to pop out of the top. Twilight takes him away to give him an earful and Gilda pull Pinkie Pie behind the ruined remains of the cake to give tell Pinkie she keeping an eye on her.

A few minutes later Rainbow Dash points to a table with colourful wrap boxes on it.

“Look Gilda, presents.”

That ain’t right I pop up behind Rainbow Dash and let her know.

“No Rainbow Dash, those aren't presents, they're prizes for the raffle later, what's a party without prizes?.”

“Gar! Where did you come from?”

“Your shadow.”

“Don’t scare me like that Grim Gill.”

“No promises.”

Everyone is looking amused but also a little disturbed. Good, I felt like I was getting behind on my creep quarter, they really did see me coming out of Rainbow Dash's shadow.

I pick up a tube from the table.

“I don't recognise this one and it doesn’t have a label so it’s not one of the prizes do you want to open it?” I say passing it to Gilda.

“Sure,” she says as she takes the tube from me, she really ought to know better by now. She opens takes the lid off the tube and is so startled by the spring snakes all her feathers stand up. She looks so funny that once again everyone in the room laughs at her.

“Ha spring snakes, that old classic, somepony got me with that one last month” Comments Applejack.

“Yeah, I bet I know who that was” is the response from the grumpy griffon.

“You do?” asks a surprised Pinkie Pie.

I look sympathetically towards Gilda and sigh.

“You look like you need to hit something, do you want to have a swing at the piñata now?”

Gilda hissing through her teeth for a moment before replying.

“Yes that sounds great I could definitely hit something right now.”

We clear the centre of the room a Pinkie puts a blindfold on Gilda, gives her the bat and spins her around and everyone starts calling out directions. Gilda ignores the directions to home in on Pinkie Pie and starts hitting her with the bat.

“Oof, silly Gilda oof, I'm not a Piñata oof”

Well, maybe not in this world Pinkie.

Pinkie being Pinkie she’s not even hurt by the assault and everyone just laughs as the assault continues for another five swings before Gilda realises she’s getting nowhere stops and takes off the blindfold to see a completely undamaged earth pony.

The fun with the Piñata continues until Derpy manages to smash it open and everyone rushes to pick up the candy that falls out. Fluttershy had managed to hit the Piñata but her swings had been so gentle that they didn't even budge the thing. More cake was brought out which is unsurprising as we’re in a bakery and soon it’s time to play Rarity’s favourite game and although I had hoped that things would go better for Gilda from here this time round they don’t. She still snatches the purple tail form Rarity, ignores directions from Pinkie Pie, slips on some cake from the mess Spike made earlier barrels into the kitchen only to walk back out with the tail draped over her beak. Pinkie Pie tells her she put the tail on the wrong end, the party-goers all laugh at her and Gilda flips out.

“You stupid ponies call this having a good time? I’ve never met a lamer bunch of dweebs in all my life.”

She jabs Pinkie Pie in the muzzle with her talon.

“And you Pinkie Pie! You are queen lame-o with your weak little party pranks. Did you thinking you could make lose my cool? Well, Dash and I have ten times as much cool as the rest of you dweebs put together! Come on Dash, we’re bailing on this pathetic scene."

When Rainbow Dash doesn’t move to follow her she repeats herself.

“Come on Rainbow Dash, I said we’re leaving!”

“You know Gilda, I’m the one who set up all those weak pranks” admitted Rainbow Dash.

Gilda struggles to understand.

“What?”

Rainbow Dash steps in front of Pinkie.

“So I guess I'm queen lame-o.”

“Come on Dash, your joshing me right.”

“They weren’t all meant for you specifically, it was just dumb luck that you set all of them off.”

Pinkie added her to cents.

"I should have known. That dribble cup had Rainbow Dash written all over it."

Gilda can’t believe what she’s hearing and tries to deny it.

“No way! I-it was Pinkie Pie, She set up this party to trip me up, to make a fool of me?”

“Me?” asks the Pinkie party hostess.

“Me and Grimmy planned this party to cheer you up. We thought you might stop being a meanie if we could turn that frown upside down.”

Pinkie turned her head upside down in emphasis as she said that.

Rainbow Dash interrupts.
“Whoa wait a second, what do you mean she was being a meanie? When did that happen?”

Well, it doesn’t look like Gilda can escape her karma so I might as well spills the beans.

“In town right after you left she scared Granny Smith by pretending her tail was a snake so she wouldn’t notice her steal an apple then she saw Fluttershy walking backwards as she was guiding some ducks and their ducklings through town and got behind her so that Fluttershy would bump into her and then when she recognised Fluttershy she wouldn’t accept her apology and yelled at her until Fluttershy ran off crying.”

Many of the party-goers who had been there to witness the event murmured in agreement and Rainbow Dash was not happy.

“What? Gilda that is not cool! this is not how I thought my old friends would treat my new friends. I think you should apologize to everypony or if being cool is all you care about, maybe you should go and find some new cool friends someplace else.”

“What?”

Asks the stunned griffon.

“You're picking them over me? Well um, Your such a, a flip-flop. Cool one minute and lame the next, when you’re done being lame give me a call.”

Gilda stomps out of Sugar Cube Corner, slamming the door behind her.

Way to go you idiot bird! You've just thrown away the only friend you ever had for the sake of your pride, although it is funny how the phrase “give me a call” has caught on in Equestria when so few of the population have phones. The only time I can recall seeing one in the entire series is when we see one through a window for a brief moment during Rarity’s Manehattan song.

Rainbow Dash apologizes for not realising what a jerk Gilda was being and Pinkie Pie accepts the apology. They shake hooves and end up proving that they are both pranksters at heart when the two of them both get electric shocks because they are both wearing joy buzzers. The two of them find the situation hilarious.

We all have fun at the party until closing time and I go home having won a new mane and makeup set from the raffle, these will come in very handy for making corpses look pretty.
.....

It’s a day later I’m walking through town to find it all quite. Despite the fact that it is the middle of the day all the shops are closed and the streets are deserted like a ghost town which can only mean one thing. Today is Zecora's episode, how delightful.

Unlike my usual routine where I blend into the crowd and shadows, I walk with slow purposeful steps in the broad daylight. I know that ponies, who are hiding from Zecora are watching me through the gaps of closed curtains. I feel their fear give me a nice little buzz, ah there’s Zecora now, digging a seed out of the ground with her hoof. She hasn’t noticed me yet, how should I play this? I let my shadow fall over her.

“Hello, Zecora.”

She jumps back allowing me to catch a glimpse of her face beneath her hood.

(Zecora Asha, Time left to live: 46 years, 3 months, 2 weeks, 6 days, 19 hours, 46 minutes, 9 seconds.)

“Oh pardon me, I did not expect to see, anypony in front of me.”

“Hee, yes I tend to have that effect on people, my name is Grim Gill, I am Ponyville's new mortician. Pleased to meet you” I say extending my hoof in greeting.

As she hesitates to take it I can practically see the gears turning in her head at the suspicion of my occupation. Why would a mortician set up business in a town as small as Ponyville when he would do better business in Canterlot? Unless he’s not really a mortician but something else entirely. So far I think she's the only one who's figured that out and been stupid enough for me to catch them at it. She's actually more afraid of me than Fluttershy but she’s better at hiding it, she eventually shakes my hoof.

“Well meet Mr Grim Gill, I'm pleased my reaction was not taken ill. But I have these seeds that need sowing, so I am afraid that I must be going.”

I frown at this, this may have been the wrong approach, I hope she’s not going to cause me any trouble when she gains the trust of the mane six.

“Ok Zecora I understand you must be very busy with the spirits and whatever shamanic rituals you perform in the Everfree Forest, I also have somethings I need to do. Until we meet again my stripy friend.”

I turned and walk away and Zecora does the same but unlike me, she doesn’t sense that the young filly Applebloom is following her.
......

I arrive at my destination and let myself in. I sneak into the back and find myself in a workshop where the owner of the business has his back to me. He is working on some contraption that must be giving him some trouble because his hitting its pipes with a hammer.

“Come on,” he says in frustration with the hammer clenched between his teeth and continues hitting the thing.

“Hello,” I say causing the brown stallion to jerk his head and drop the hammer in surprise. It falls into the machine with a loud “Clunk” and then the contraption sputters to life.

“Oh, that’s got it,” says the brown stallion before turning back to me with a frown.

“You sir, are not supposed to be in here."

I give him my usual creepy grin and reply.

“Oh I know that but your door was open and no one was at the counter, I heard loud noises coming from the back so I came to see if you were here Mr uh?”

(#/()';*#// *-+(()(, time left to live: *//#_years, ~°∆¶ months, \_#* weeks, _π days, ∆ hours, #’ seconds)

Ok... that’s a new one. For once I don’t know someone's name but his fear is that Derpy Hooves will die before her time.

“Doctor Clockwork, Hooves. But my friends call me Doc. If you’re here to discuss business we should go through to the shop front.”

Dr Hooves is Ponyville’s top mechanical so his shop front is another workshop. We walk over to the main counter which is covered in loose papers, diagrams and clock. In fact there a several clocks behind in a display area behind him with price tags on them, I may end up commissioning one.

“So what can I do for you sir”

“Oh call me Grim Gill. Yes, I’m here today because I need to commission so equipment for my work.”

I placing a folder on the counter. Dr Hooves opens it and takes a thoughtful look at the mechanical blueprints.

“Hum, what are these machines for and how will they help you with your work?"

“Ok Doc, I'll start with the simplest things first and work my way up."

I pick up a single page blueprint.
“This simple device is called a Needle Injector. Its purpose is wiring copses jaws shut, I did have one before but it got missed placed when I moved to Ponyville so it could be anywhere between here and Hollow Shades.”

Next, I pick up a set of blueprints held together with a paper clip.

“These here are just some special tables I need. This one Is an adjustable height transfer table with rollers so it’s easy to take the stainless steel body tray off and place the corpse on the storage shelf and then this is just an adjustable length coffin bearer, I think the name is pretty self-explanatory. The second table is an embalming table with integrated sink, see its got this shower hose to clean the body if the hospital has not already done so which is only often necessary when the unfortunate deceased individual had known of their intimate demise and choose to die at home in comfort rather than in a hospital room. Sometimes individuals will shit themselves when they die.”

Dr Hooves wrinkles his nose in discuss at the thought of having to wash a dead pony who has shit themselves.

“Next, this one,” I say pointing at the second set of the blueprints. “Is a mechanical air conditioner to keep my shop cool. I don’t like to use the enchanted ones you understand, even if they are cheaper to run. I will require four of them.”

I can just imagine how unsettling it will be for people on pleasant sunny 17 degrees warm days to walk into my badly light funeral pallor and feel the temperature drop down to 5 degrees Celsius. To add to the effect I designed the air conditioner unit to produce infrasound waves at 13 Hz. Infrasound are sounds lower than the 20Hz normal minimal hearing threshold of human ears. Sounds of 17 to 19 Hz will produce feelings of uneasiness and fear in humans and as 18Hz is the resonance frequency of the human eyeball it is known to cause one to see ghostly grey blobs out of the corners of one’s vision so naturally it has been found to be the cause of more than a few ghost sightings. Ponies have a lower minimum hearing threshold of 14 Hz so I have to adapt the frequency for them to induce the feelings uneasiness but they won’t see the ghostly grey blobs unfortunately.

I point to the last set of blueprints.

“Now this I absolutely cannot do without, this is called an Aspirator. You see this tube here? I attach various needles to it and jab it into the corps around the belly button area. Then the Aspirator starts sucking out all the contents of the digestive tract and that prevents the stomach from bloat up like a balloon. Are you feeling alright Doc? You look a little green.”

Dr Hooves attempts to hide his discomfort.

“I’m fine Mr Grim, I’ve just never been asked to build such an, um... remarkable machine before that I was taken back a moment. I should be able to complete your order by.”

He pauses for a moment to look at his schedule.

“The fifteenth, so about eleven days.”

We spend the next few minutes negotiating a fair price before we reach an agreement and I leave with the invoice for my commission.

.....

Late that night Fluttershy lay still in her bed, something had woken her up and she felt an unnatural chill in the room.
She was covered in a cold sweat as she felt like something was watching her from the shadows but she could see nothing out of place and none of her animals were stirring although some seemed to have dreams and twitching in there sleep.
Eventually, she convinced herself she was just being silly and drifted back off to sleep.

Once I was certain she was out I emerge from the shadows and continued to gently bathe her with a damp cloth. I've got work to do if I want things to go my way and my nightmare sand will cause those few animals that saw me to dismiss me as just a bad dream.
.....

Fluttershy awoke in the morning feeling quite groggy.

“Man who did I drink last night.” ... “WHAT THE TARTRUS? Ooh!” she says before covering her mouth with her hooves.

Fluttershy looks at herself to find she was wearing a charcoal suit with a red cravat which matches the long red duster and large red fedora hat. Over her eyes, she has a pair of wire-framed orange lensed sunglasses and a pair of white gloves adorn her forehooves.

“Where in Equestria did this come from and what’s the Tartarus is wrong with my voice? Why it so deep and why am I swearing like a mother bucker? What the buck happened to my wings?”
Fluttershy's wings that were normally covered in yellow feathers were instead covered with a skin membrane that would be more at home on a bat than on a Pegasus.
Although her wings are still yellow matching her coat they are covered in large blue dots.

“How garish.” She said but felt her tongue brush up against something when she spoke.

“What? do I have fangs now too?”

She gets up a looks in her bedroom mirror.

“I do, bitching”

She shakes her head.

“Gar! I got to stop with all this swearing. That no-good evil zebra Zecora must have cursed me the other day and just look at what she did to my cutie mark, it's a trio of pink bats now!"

Her animal friends have all woken up and are shocked by Fluttershy's new attitude and appearance and start making a ruckus.

“GEEZ CALM THE BUCK DOWN YOU ROWDY BUNCH OF ANIMALS!”

The whole room falls silent and Fluttershy winces for a moment. She takes a deep breath to centre herself.

“Sorry for snapping just then, I will sort out all your breakfasts but then I’ve got over to Twilight's to figure this out. Maybe I'll show her what a real bucking vampire is like.” ... “SWEET CELESTIA I'M A VAMPIRE!”

She dives under her bed cover in a quivering mess of fear for a moment before she realises how ridiculous she is being.

“Oh what the buck am I doing? Ooh!”
Fluttershy goes about giving her animal friends their breakfasts whilst nervously avoiding the beams of sunlight shining in through until she has to go outside to feed the birds and her chickens.

“Time to see if I can go out for a walk.”

Slowly Fluttershy extended her right wingtip into the sunlight and only felt itchy instead of them bursting into flames as she had feared.

“Well in for a penny in for a pound”... “What the buck is a penny? Ooh!”

Feel a bit more confident now Fluttershy steps out into the sunlight. The itching spreads to all parts of her body not protected by her clothes but whilst irritating it is not so bad that it cannot be ignored.

“So I'm a daywalker then, that’s good”
With that question answered Fluttershy goes into the storage shed where she keeps the food but she picks up the seed bag she almost falls over backwards.

“This sack feels so light, did I get ripped off?”

Fluttershy opens the new bag and finds it to be full of mixed birdseed.

“No, no haven’t been ripped off I’m just stronger now. A lot stronger, this bag weighs 55lbs but it feels no heavier than a pillow.”

She feeds all the animals who prefer to stay outside and finishes her preparations before heading out to the library.

“Ok bitches Mommy's going now, try not to eat each other while I'm away.”... “Oh! sorry for calling you all bitches, except for the female dogs of course.”

With that, she closes the door but with
much more force then she means to.

“SLAM”

“Wow, that was loud.”

She says moments before the door makes an ominous creaking noise followed by the two halves of her front door falling to the ground, the door frame is in splinters and the animals all look at her with wide eyes.

“Oh great! Now I’ve got to get the front door fixed. Still, I'm glad it was just the front door. It would have been terrible if I had discovered my new strength whilst hugging Angel bunny, I might of crush him to death.”

Said bunny make the scared rabbit noise and makes a tactical retreat.

As Fluttershy is going to the library she can’t but help give her new wings a test flight and finds her wings to be much stronger now and she has more manoeuvrability and speed. She does some loops and barrel rolls before going into a steep dive and levels out before she hits the ground but then realises she's on a collision course with a house. At first, she panics but then new instincts wash over her and she maintains her course, instead of crashing into the house she phases through the wall startling three mares who had been having their breakfast and then phases out the opposite side of the building. Wondering if that really just happened Fluttershy stops fly and phases through the wall again, stops for a moment.

“I can walk through walls? cool!, Oh hello Daisy, Lily Valley, Rose. Sorry to barge In on you like this but I woke up this morning to find I've turned into a vampire and I'm still getting used to it. I hoping that Twilight has a cure for this, I’m on my way to meet her at the library now. I let you know how it goes, see you later.”

She then turns and leaves through the wall but before she gets out of earshot she hears the flower trio talking about her.

“Fluttershy’s a vampire! this is awful” Says Daisy
“No it’s terrible!” replies Rose.

“The horror, the horror!” declares Lilly Valley before the three sisters simultaneously faint and three thuds hit the ground.

Fluttershy shrugs before walking away at a brisk leisurely pace. After a few minutes, she reaches the Golden Oak Library and she can hear that all her friends have arrived and are taking about curses and Zecora. She is about to enter the door when she is struck by a strange impulse to walk round the tree about a meter or so passed the Rainbow Dash shaped dent in the tree trunk and phases halfway into the room.

“Hey girl, ya wanna see a dead body?”

The ponies all scream and start running around the room for a moment. Rarity is the first pony to recognise Fluttershy and calm down.

“Fluttershy!” She exclaims.

“Where did you get that outfit? It's simply marvellous.”

Then she noticeable looks the others are giving her and quickly changes her tune.

“I mean Fluttershy’s a vampire this is the worst possible thing!” she declares before dramatically collapsing on her fainting couch.

Rainbow dash's reaction was a lot less polite but no less dramatic.

“For the love of Faust Fluttershy! What the Tartarus is wrong with you?”

“Oh my! I’m sorry for scaring you my friends I don’t even know where to find a dead body but I just can’t help myself I’ve been saying and doing strange things like that all day and I don’t know where this outfit either I just found myself wearing it when I woke up this morning.”

“What you too? I thought it was just me! I have no idea where this red catsuit came from”

Which is what Pinkie Pie tried to say but within her tongue swollen up so much all everyone else can hear is “Mumph mo mumph pffftt muph pffftt plart mumph moo mo maph mo mimer mare miff maph foo maim fom.”

Unfortunately not only can Fluttershy or anyone else understand her, She just thinks that Pinkie Pie left the house wearing her pyjamas which considering how eccentric the pink pony is would not be out of character.

Spike finds the situation the girls are in very entertaining and can barely contain himself.

“Haha oh my gosh just look at yourselves! It’s Battyshy the vampire, Spitty Pie, Rainbow Crash, Hairity, Appletini and well um, Twilight Sparkle, Twilight Sparkle. Ok, I can’t come up with anything for Twilight Sparkle but seriously this is hilarious. Ah ha ha ah ha oh ok I’m done.”

“This is no joke Spike, now keep looking in more books so I can find a cure.”
Rainbow dash shows some “remarkable” common sense and lands instead of trying to hover in one spot which she seems to be incapable of doing without crashing into something now that her wings are on backwards.

“Ok Twilight surely now there’s no way you can deny that this is a curse. Ponies don’t just turn into vampires on their own.”

“No Rainbow dash they don’t but vampirism isn’t a curse, it’s a magical disease called Sanguinare vampiris. The transformation and the powers the carriers develop are just symptoms of the disease.”

“Well, what about the rest of us dear? Surely we don’t all have some kind of magical disease. I’m afraid I have to agree with Rainbow dash on this one, we’ve definitely been cursed.” Says the four-legged mop know as Rarity.

“It’s not a curse."

“Well, whatever this is I bet we’ll find a cure at Zecora’s place.”

Appletini had to yell to be heard.

“Ah agree with Dash. We’ll go to Zecora’s and force her to remove this hex.”

“It’s not a hex either.”

The mares all started yelling over each other but Fluttershy’s new enhanced hearing picked up Applebloom talking to herself.

“This is all ma fault. If ah hadn’t followed Zecora none of this would of happened, ah gotta put this right.”

She watches as Applebloom leaves the library unaware that Applejack has jumped on to her tail. Fluttershy then turns to see Spike is reading a book and peaks over his shoulder.

“What have you got here Spike?”

“Oh hey Battyshy, I found this book that has the cure for what’s causing all this trouble but when I tried to tell Twilight she took one look at the title and dismissed it. It’s not my fault if she won’t listen so I'm just going to make a list of ingredients and gather them for when you all get back from the Everfree forest.”

“Oh really? What’s the title?” Spike shows her the cover and she chuckles.

“I see why she would overlook the book with the first part of the title being like that.”

Fluttershy turned back to the mares and banged her hoof twice on the table to get attention and making quite a large dent in the process.

“Ladies, ladies we all agree we need to get the cure for our affliction but do we really want to go into one of the most dangerous places in Equestria and threaten Zecora on her home turf? I'll do it of course but it just doesn’t seem wise to me but perhaps we should ask nicely first. Oh and um sorry about your table Twilight.”

Unfortunately, it seems that her friends are in no mood to listen to reason, especially not Rainbow dash.

“Easy for you to say Fluttershy, Zecora actually made you stronger but look at me. With my wings backwards I can’t fly straight anymore and flying is my life, I’m doing whatever it takes to get that cure. Who’s with me?”

“I amth.”

Spatt Pinkie Pie.

"me too,” said Rarity.

“That makes two, what about you Applejack?”

Rainbow Dash looks at the pile of books on the table that Applejack had been standing only to find her gone.

“where's Applejack?”

Rainbow dash said in a panic.

“Quick check your hooves, somepony might have stepped on her," says the mop.

“Or sat on her” Twilight suggested.

Fluttershy watches in amusement as her friends check their hooves and plots.

“Wait!” yells Rainbow dash.

“Maybe she’s in Rarity’s hair”

Pinkie Pie immediately trusts her face into Rarity’s matted locks promoting Rarity to ask if Pinkie Pie has ever heard of personal space, Pinkie Pie replies by saying “Nopeth” shaking her head and showering Rarity in spit which is when Fluttershy finally decides to step in.

“Snort. Girls stop just stop, Applejack is fine she left with Applebloom 3 minutes ago when you lot were all shouting over each other.”

“What!” said Rainbow dash, “If you knew that then why didn’t you say something sooner?”

Fluttershy’s steps back shyly for a moment before the confidence returns to her face.

“Sorry, it was just so funny watching you panic like that when I knew Applejack was ok, really Twilight sat and on her? No one has sat down since we got here.”

Twilight looks a little embarrassed now.

“Applebloom was talking about making things right, she’s probably headed for Zecora’s but to do that she’ll have to face the Everfree forest and I don’t think Appletini is going to be much help if they run into trouble so we should follow them now.”

“Oh, Twilight flopple” Fluttershy heard Spike say to himself just before the door closes for just like two weeks ago the mares all rush to the Everfree Forest.
......

As the ponies reach the Everfree Forest Twilight calls them all to a stop and asks if any of them actually know where exactly Zecora lives. The answer is no but Fluttershy’s newly vampire enhanced sense of smell allows her to pick up the smell of apples, mud and sweat that is Applebloom and Applejack and she is able to lead her friends through the forest. Not far into the journey Fluttershy hears something distressing and takes off. She finds a wild ocelot under a ledge trying to reach something in a crack in the rock. The Ocelot is taunting its prey.

“Come on out tiny pony, don’t you want to go inside my big hungry belly? I promise it will only hurt for a little bit, you won’t feel a thing after I bite your head off ha ha ha.”

“HEY!”

Yells Fluttershy’s with her wings flared out drawing the ocelot’s attention.

"YOU LEAVE MY FRIEND ALONE, SHE’S NOT YOUR FOOD!”

The ocelot bolts off in fear

“AHH scary fanged bat pony! Scary fanged bat pony!”

Fluttershy calms herself before lowering herself to look into the crack.

“You can come out now Applejack, the ocelot is gone.”

A relieved Appletini slowly walks out of the crack.

“Fluttershy! Thank Celestia you came I really thought ma goose was cooked just then, where are the others?”

No sooner had she asked the question Rainbow crash comes crashing through the trees flying upside-down, hits the ledge and lands in a heap on her back.
“Ow,” she says clutching her head before noticing Fluttershy. “Ah! I finally caught up with you, why did you fly off like that Fluttershy? Your the only pony who knows where we’re going?”

“She was rescuing me,” Said Appletini as the rest of the ponies arrived.

“Mwa! Mwa haffenth?”

“Yes, what happened darling?” asked Harity who had leaves and twigs sticking out of her tangled locks.

“When Applebloom left the library ah wanted to know where she was going so ah hitched a ride and stayed hidden until she entered the forest, when ah told her it were too dangerous for her and ordered her to turn back she put me up in that there tree.”

She points her hoof to the dead tree that Rainbow crash had knocked down.

“Saying that she’s the big sister now and how she was gonna fix everything, at first ah was stuck waiting for somepony to come and get me down but then this ocelot shows up wanting to eat me for lunch so ah jump and hide in that there crevasse until Fluttershy came and scared that no good varmint off.”

“Yeah,” says Fluttershy “Turns out I have super hearing, once I heard that ocelot say tiny pony I rush over as quick as I could, thank goodness I got here in time.”

“Oh my yes that would have been terrible! it’s you reacted so quickly, It must have been terrifying for you Applejack.”

Pinkie pie rushes over, picks up Appletini and give her a hug but her swollen tongue gets in the way. “Gah, Pinkie Pie! Eww, stop. Ya getting drool all over me.”

"Oppth tharin"

Pinkie releases her victim on the ground where Appletini wipes the worst of the drool off.

By now Rainbow crash has gotten back onto her hooves.

“Well that’s score two for vampirism but this just proves that the soon we get Zecora to lift this curse the better, now which way do we go?"

“Oh yeah give me a sec,” says Fluttershy who picks up Appletini a places her on her back and then raises her head into and takes a deep sniff. “It’s this way,” says Fluttershy as she leads the ponies to Zecora’s home which as it turns out is a shack made from a hollowed-out tree and it’s not pretty with creepy tribal masks and bottles hanging from the branches by strings.

“Oh my this place looks horrible!” says Harity as the mares approach the structure.

“Wait” sat Fluttershy stopping everyone in their tracks, she takes a deep sniff before continuing.

“Zecora is inside but Applebloom isn’t here."

Applejack asks what she means.
“What do ya mean she ain’t hear? This is where she was headed.”

“Yes she was here but she left and went off into the forest, you girls go talk to Zecora while Applejack and I go track down Applebloom."

“Sounds good ta me. Common Fluttershy, put that sniffer to work and find ma sister. This forest ain’t no place for a little filly.”

“Yes, Master" Fluttershy sarcastically responds but understands the urgency of her task.

“Oh and girls, remember to ask nicely”

She tells her friends before following the young filly’s scent. It doesn't take long before they catch up to the child as she is heading back to the shaman wearing a pair of saddle basket on her sides.

“Hey, Applebloom did you get everything?” Fluttershy asks.

“Wah! Fluttershy? Ah mean um yeah just about, ah recon Zecora should have the rest ready by now.”

“Now wait second what the hay are you two on about? Do ya something about this ya ain’t tell us Fluttershy?”

“Sis? You're here too?”

“Don’t go changing the subject missy you're in big trouble when we get home, Ah almost got eaten by an ocelot. Now tell me what’s going on.”

“Well it’s a funny story, you see back at the library... OH BUGGER! we got to get back to Zecora’s place quick! Our friends are wrecking the place up! Hold on tight.”

Fluttershy lifts up Applebloom by the barrel and flies back to the zebra's shack and bursts in through the open doorway.

“EVERYONE STOP WRECKING ZECORA’S SHIT! YOUR NOT HELPING.”

Everyone immediately stops are there doing to stare at Fluttershy as she sets Applebloom on the floor.

“Ma goodness!” Says the little filly looking at the mess “What in Equestria were ya vandalising Zecora’s house for?”

Twilight flopple walks over to Applebloom “Because Zecora’s an evil witch doctor who cursed us and was going to eat you in a stew.”

Zecora and Applebloom look at each other then laugh, Applebloom turns back to Twilight.

“Oh, Twilight did ya let those silly fillies get into your head? Ya know there ain't no such thing as curses.”

I remain quiet on this subject for now.

“B-but if this isn’t a curse then what is it?”

“I can answer that,” says Fluttershy.

"Now do you remember what Zecora said to us the other day when we rushed into the forest to get Applebloom? Because I do but despite how she said it, she meant it as a warning to be more aware of our surroundings not to be afraid of her.”

Zecora spoke next.
“Your friend is right in fact, my words were quite exact. “beware, beware pony folk, to see leaves of blue are no joke.”

“Yes that’s exactly what you said, you will warn us about the patch of Poison joke we were standing in weren’t you?”
The zebra nods.

“How can blue flowers have done this to us?” asks Twilight Flopple.

“Poison joke has a contact poison like poison ivy but instead of nasty rash, it affects everyone differently. It’s mostly harmless and amusing, all of our affliction are just pranks it played on us. You have to admit it’s a fascinating defence mechanism. It’s a pretty simple fix to, we just need to take a herbal bubble bath.”

“What!” says Rainbow crash who is once again upside-down on her back
“If you knew what was wrong why didn’t you say anything?”

Fluttershy frowns in anger.
"Because Rainbow Dash, none of you would have listened. Seriously I asked you to talk to Zecora nicely and you couldn’t even do that!”

The mares all hang their heads in shame.

“But Fluttershy, how do you know about Poison joke? I couldn’t find anything about it in any of the books in the library.”

Fluttershy sadly shook her head.

“Twilight, let me show you something”

Fluttershy lead Twilight over to a book which lay open on the floor and turned to the pages until she found one describing the effects and cure for Poison joke next to a picture of the blue flower. Next, she closed the book.

“Read the full title this time Twilight.”
Twilight reads the title.

“SUPER NATURALS, natural remedies and cure-alls that are simply super. I I I'm sorry Zecora, I had the answer this whole time if only I had bothered to look inside. All this trouble could have been avoided.”

The Zebra just laughs it off and says “maybe next you will take a look and not judge the cover of the book.”

The mares once again hung their heads in shame.

“So you see kids the moral of today's story is to never judge a book by its cover, tuning next week for another exciting episode of My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic. Goodnight everybody... I have no idea why I said that.”

Applebloom and Zecora laugh at Fluttershy who just smiles and bows.
......
In a dim room light only by the glow of a small kerosene lamp, I pick myself up off the floor and stretch out. My joints were feeling quite stiff after not moving all day and what a fun day it has been.

Last night I snuck into Sugar Cube Corner and dressed up the sleeping Pinkie Pie in a Freakazoid costume then slither over to Fluttershy’s cottage and sponged bathed the Poison joke off of her, dressed her up as Alucard from Hellsing Ultimate, applied some makeup to her wings and dripped some of my medium into her nose where it made its way into her brain which allowed me to channel power into her which mimic vampirism.

It also allowed me to influence her behaviour and decision-making processes and make her act like Alucard from Team Four Star's Hellsing Ultimate Abridged. I was basically possessing her, the way she would go "Ooh" and cover her mouth whenever I made her swear was priceless and as time went by she was subconsciously giving more and more control.

But you know what they say about all good things, I had my fun and cut the transmission as soon as she climbed into the bubble bath Zecora had prepared in the spar's hot tub. Though I must admit I was genuinely worried when that ocelot when after Applejack, Ponyville just wouldn’t be the same without her.
My stomach rumbles reminding me I haven't eaten since dinner last night and it's two in the afternoon so I walk into the kitchen singing a cheerful little tune to myself.

Ring around a full moon
Servant of a fanged loon
Ashe ashes
The world comes down

Master ever seeking
Planning plotting creeping
Ashe ashes

......
End of Chapter

Author's Note

Hipin: "It doesn't actually work you know."

Rei: "What doesn't work?"

Hipin: "Using regular makeup on corpses, makeup reacts to body heat and slightly, that's why there is makeup specifically made for corpses. I just put it in there for effect but maybe I should have gone with the alternative scene where I pop up behind Twilight when she's writing to Princess Celestia and tell her off for implying that Gilda isn't a real friend."

Rei: "But Gilda choose her pride over her friend."

Hipin: "Yeah but if you learn about Gilda's environment growing up you see she didn't exactly grow up in a supportive environment and even without that did you see how she responded to Pinkie Pie's laugh at her's and Rainbow Dash performance of the Jr Speedsters chant? She frowned because she thought Pinkie was laughing at her when she was actually laughing at the contrast between Rainbow's enthusiasm and her lackluster performance. It was a typical straight man funny guy routine. Gilda is a true friend but she just isn't very good at it. You meet people like that a lot in life. "

Hipin: "Oh, and one last thing"

Rei: "What is it?"

Hipin: "This"