Man of Babel: a Tale of Tongues (RGRE)

After the "Disco Fever" moment, as Pinkie had christened it, Twilight had come to the conclusion that Heartsong was some how related to my curse, and that Harmony magic may be the key to getting it fixed. To that end, she had Spike fetch her other three friends. I soon learned that alongside Rarity, whom I already knew, these others were the current bearers of the remaining Elements of Harmony.

First to arrive was Rainbow Dash. The pegasus mare of cerulean fur and rainbow mane and tail, which was how I assumed she got her name, wasn't quite sure what to make of me. Like Pinkie and Rarity, she was full mare, and liked using her wings a lot. Using Pinkie as a translator, since I was still in Spanish, I learned that Rainbow was Captain of the local Weather Team, and a member of the Wonderbolt Reserves, an elite flying corps based out of Canterlot, the capital city.

As we conversed, Rainbow Dash was clearly confused by my responses. I acted like, in her words, "one of the girls", and I wasn't instantly impressed by the flying show boat. But she was willing to stick up for Twilight, and her obvious loyalty to her friends made it clear she had earned the Element of that same virtue.

Next to arrive was the farmer Applejack. And the two of us instantly did not see eye to eye. Despite being an honest working mare, hence how she earned the Element of Honesty, owning an orchard and farm with her family, and being a beefy as hell futa similar to Twilight, it was clear Applejack didn't trust me. Especially after she heard how rude I was to both Twilight and Starlight Glimmer. Needless to say, Twilight was only able to keep Applejack calm by explaining that I had no choice in being in this world. While it did calm her to an extent, she made it clear to me that she was going to keep an eye on me, and to not visit her farm unless it was for business.

Last to arrive was the sweetest mare I had ever met: Fluttershy. The wallflower of a pegasus hermaphrodite was a soft butter yellow and this boxom shape that I couldn't help but admire. The fact she didn't seem to know how beautiful she was hammered in the sheer purity of how she seemed in my eyes. And one look between us made my heart melt.

Fluttershy was far more willing to accept me, her gentle nature and experience with wild animals allowing her far more empathy towards other creatures. She had more than earned her Element of Kindness, and I was grateful to be around her rather than Applejack, whom I was determined to avoid like the plague.

I learned also that Twilight, Pinkie, and Rarity each embodied the Elements of Magic, Laughter, and Generosity respectively, while we waited for the rest of the gang to arrive. Twilight was also having me try and update her translation spell with my new Spanish. Rarity was smitten by my French and hoped that I would speak some again though, as she had described it as very regal sounding. I then explained that French, Italian, and Spanish were the "romance" languages, as they were associated with high adventure and early romantic tales back home. Hearing that made the snow white mare gush excitedly. Twilight had to remind her to focus after that.

Once everyone was present, we all marched to the Cutie Map. I finally had to ask what the heck the marks on the sides of their hips were, and I wound up getting a lengthy song and dance about what Cutie Marks were and their function. Needless to say, I was pretty baffled. Your overall talent on display for all to see? Like a window into the soul? I actually wished it was that easy. Of course, apparently I wasn't alone. Dragons, Griffins, Diamond Dogs, and a few others didn't get them, so they were pretty self determinate.

But the Cutie Map was a hell of a thing. As I stood with Pinkie, I learned that it pointed out areas where the Tree of Harmony, which I imagined to be analogous to Yggdrassil, the World Tree of Norse myth, would alert the Elements to events that required their attention. It was how Twilight and Pinkie were able to respond so quickly to my arrival on this world.

"This map has plot convenience written all over it." I remarked to Pinkie.

"Yeah. But it definitely saved you some hassle Jimmy Beans." Pinkie had insisted on calling me Jimmy Beans since I had arrived in Ponyville, and I had decided to just roll with the nickname.

"So what's the plan?"

"Well, obviously to progress the story! Twilight probably has some crazy plan she wants to try on you to help you in some way." At the mention of progressing the story, I gave her a look of confusion, but Rarity saw and said:

"It's Pinkie darling. Best not to linger on it."

Taking her advice, I returned my attention to what Twilight had been saying.

"... be frank girls, our new guest is full of some unusual surprises and is mentally unique in his own way."

"But that don't excuse how mean he was to Starlight. I don't always trust her, but no stallion in his right mind would cuss out a mare." Applejack said firmly.

"That's because he wasn't in his right mind Applejack." Twilight said, sighing and putting a hoof to her face. "Besides, Starlight was the one responsible for bringing him here in the first place against his will. Of course he was going to be mad at her. You were mad as a hornet when she betrayed us when we first met her."

"Still, it don't excuse blatant rudeness." Applejack grumped.

"Applejack, what's done is done. And I already apologized to Starlight and she accepted it, returning the apology as well for her wrongdoing. She even tried to offer herself to me, but I turned her down." I said.

"Say what?" She asked. Pinkie then had to translate my words. When she heard that I had turned Starlight down, Applejack blinked in confusion. But she wasn't the only one.

"What? Why would you turn her down? She's not a bad mare. Nice cock." Rainbow said.

"She doesn't normally proposition boys, so her offering is a nice touch." Twilight added. I sighed, realizing that my sexual norms were still causing confusion.

"Interpret as best you can." I told Pinkie. I then reiterated what I had told Starlight last night.

• That my culture forbid public nudity.
• That casual sex was seen as distasteful.
• That I wasn't used to such propositions.
• A human female having a penis was extremely unlikely to the point of fantasy.
• And the cherry on top, I was still a virgin. That last part was said with a blush.

The girls and Spike all stared in shock, save Starlight, who had heard it before.

"How does anyone ever enjoy themselves then?!" Rainbow blurted.

"Between significant others, and paying whores. Sometimes the boyfriend or girlfriend cheats on the other." I explained. "When a married person does it, it's usually a sign the marriage is failing."

"That is so confusing." Rarity mentioned.

"Yeah. 'Round these parts, we do the double backed beastie with anypony who is of age and says yes. It ain't healthy to just bottle it in." Applejack clarified.

"It may not make sense to any of you, given your culture. I never said it would. It is clear to me that there is a lot we need to understand about each other."

The mares all found they couldn't argue with that. And they all knew the problem would be worse given my multi-layered language barrier.

"Alright," Twilight decided to circle the conversation back to what it needed to be. "The reason I called everyone here is for a number of reasons. James needs to settle in, so one of us needs to be his roommate. And earlier, his ability to speak Equish actually comes out more naturally when Heartsong is employed. He speaks it natively, but whatever spell he is under prevents him from accessing it. Best guess is, that when Starlight's spell pulled him over here, a side effect of it was to imprint as many languages as possible from his world before he arrived."

"Well, so far, I have been speaking Russian, Arabic, German, Japanese, French, Spanish, and my native English, which is what I call what you girls speak." I pointed out. "My best educated guess is that I will end up speaking Hindi, Portuguese, and Mandarin Chinese, as those languages I mentioned are the most used on my world. I may also speak Dutch and Italian at times. But I should mention that Japanese isn't a common language, and German may not be either, so I could end up speaking some dead ones. Or, best case scenario, the languages I have already are the ones I will be sticking with. I just hope that I didn't get hit with literally thousands."

"Wait. Pinkie, is he serious? Thousands of languages?!" Rainbow demanded, shocked, after Pinkie had finished translating.

"He is being serious." Applejack said before Pinkie could say it. "I don't like it, but he is tellin' the truth, even if I can't understand his words."

"Well, I'll take your word anytime AJ." Rainbow admitted.

"But there is a work around." Twilight said to cut off any side discussion. "Heartsong seems to work for bringing his native speech back. And he only changes languages when he gets really mad, sad, or gets extremely happy. So as long as he remains calm, he doesn't change what language the spell is set on for the moment."

"So, he can sing to help him speak like us?" Fluttershy asked at last.

"Exactly. So my plan is to use the Elements to maybe help fix it permanently. However, I need some time to study how his magical signature behaves and to see if it is possible to do what I have in mind."

"Whatever solution you can use Twilight, I would be okay with, so long as it doesn't turn me into a newt first." I said to her. That must have been an inside joke among the girls, because they all starting laughing and Twilight blushed in embarrassment after Pinkie finished reiterating what I had said, barely able to stifle her own giggles long enough.

"I take it something similar has happened before?" I asked. Twilight, still flushing, answered me before her friends.

"Well, during my magical trial test, I accidentally overloaded and turned my parents into potted plants, rapidly aged Spike to an adult, among other things, all when I was a filly." At that, I lost my composure and just began laughing. That just seemed too ridiculous. After I coughed and regained my wits, I then noticed that Twi hadn't been laughing.

"Wait, are you serious?" Now I was speaking Chinese. Mandarin to be exact.

"Well, it's related to how we all got our Cutie Marks." Rainbow Dash said. She went into a story about how her first "Sonic Rainboom" (I had to ask and I realized this pegasus could break the sound barrier and then some, and the resulting shockwave created a rainbow blast effect) resulted in all the crucial moments of their formative years.

Needless to say, I was pretty stunned. "That is just insane. And I know I shouldn't be saying that, because I am literally in a land of unicorns and dragons, but a sonic boom rainbow blast? That is just crazy. I can't make sense of it. Every logical part of my brain is saying that is impossible."

After Pinkie translated, Rainbow Dash stared at me. Then chuckled.

"You kinda sound like Twilight almost."

"I take it she is the super logical one?"

"Yeah. Kind of an egghead."

"I also have trouble with sarcasm or attempts at similar wit."

"Really? Huh. Most ponies get those."

"Not me unfortunately. My brain is pretty different. I don't feel comfortable talking about it though, and I already feel very nervous just mentioning it. I decided to warn you first though."

"Well, at least the poor dear was brave enough to say it before something nasty happened." Rarity piped up. I could not have agreed more. With that, the girls all debated about where I would be staying. Applejack still didn't trust me, so she refused to have me live on the farm. It came down to Fluttershy and Pinkie, as I said that I would not be willing to live in the same place as Starlight, as I still felt uncomfortable.

In the end, for the extremely practical reason of her being able to understand me (something about reading the subtitles, whatever that meant), it was agreed I would live with Pinkie at Sugarcube Corner. As a bonus, I would start work there due to my love of baking. I mentioned I could assist, as I didn't want to not pay rent, so after a discussion with Mr. and Mrs. Cake, I would help in the bakery and help them take care of their twin children.

I had hoped for some semblance of normal, but that I would find would not be possible.