Untitled Displaced Fanfiction

Thurber then immediately blew Melchior's head into chunks. Everyone was covered in his blood. Jonah whistled for a bazooka but nothing came because the servants were too busy crying in the fetal position. Jonah then shot Thurber with his trusty glock from an impossible distance. It only kneecapped him.

"Aaaargh!" ejaculated Thurber "Fuck!"

Meanwhile, there was a pony named Bubbles who had been inspired by Jonah. She had seen him transform Equestria and get rid of all the people who made fun of her. No longer was she going to simply take people's shit. She was going to set the world right along with Jonah. She got onto a really cool Harley Davidson which was previously owned by Discord. She rode the motor-bicycle onto the scene, did a kick-flip off of a corpse and traveled through the air all the way onto the helicopter's bridge. She then crushed Thurber's head under the weight of the Harley's wheel. Bits of brain got stuck to it. Bubbles then did a pop-shuvit thing with a 360 twist in an attempt to get back on the ground safely but she landed on her head and immediately died. This moved Jonah to tears. Pinkie Pie tried to comfort him, saying that the nuclear heat death won't be that painful and that pony lives were short anyway but this had no effect on him. He rushed into the palace, burst into his room full of useless intellectuals and grabbed the Nightmare Moon head. He aimed it at the helicopter squad, who were prepping their nukes and unleashed Nightmare Moon's power onto the squadron causing them to fall from the sky and crush many innocent ponies who were in hiding.

"Heh! Good work! I didn't think you'd get this far!" sneered Garfield, immune to the effects of Nightmare Moon's magic.

Applejack then got into some power armour and jumped all the way to where Garfield was floating and slam-dunked an apple into his mouth.

"Oh shit! I've ingested food that isn't lasagna!" cried Garfield.

He promptly exploded.

Jonah smiled from within his bunker. Garfield may have been powerful but his explosion would incur less damage than a series of nukes made by the US military. He wanted Ponyville cleansed, not destroyed. And besides, it was inevitable. The US is always backed by Garfield. Afghanistan, Iraq, Germany. All had Garfield in the support lines. Like Doctor Manhattan but way weaker and a cat. Fluttershy then angrily turned toward Jonah.

"You monster!" she cried, slapping Jonah with her hoof with such force that he hit the bunker's wall.

Jonah chuckled and gasped one last series of sentences:

"There's free weed, ketamine and LSD in the mini-bar. I am a monster. Don't worry, Fluttershy. We'll sort this all out. I'll pay for my crimes. In Shibuya. Take care of yourselves and make a better society than what came before. A more open-minded one. One that's less naive and more kind."

He then died.

One thousand years later, in Shibuya, the mane six met with human bodies. They knew what had come to pass. They were met with a man who wore the garb of a priest.

"I was force to go along with your game, but now I am free!" screamed Fluttershy, and she lopped off Jonah's head with a giant scythe.

Fluttershy then cradled the head and cried. Rainbow Dash then bent down and whispered something in her ear.

"What have you done?"

The End