“Uhm...” Fluttershy’s voice sounded above her. Wallflower craned her neck and saw her peering over the edge of the loft. “I’m sure Sunset wouldn’t mind if you sat on the couch.”

A tense feeling settled in Wallflower’s knotted stomach. “Probably not,” she said, still unmoving. “I’d rather be on the floor, though.”

Up on the loft, Fluttershy murmured a soft goodnight to Sunset. Wallflower heaved a sigh as she heard her descending the stairs, and she rolled over, facing away. The slight motion left her head throbbing for a moment, and she gritted her teeth until the pain settled.

She knew Sunset needed sleep, but something about being left alone with someone—especially someone she had so recently wronged—only deepened the anxious pit in her core.

Wallflower shifted nervously as she heard light footsteps approaching her. She hated the thought of being trapped in a conversation with Fluttershy, but she hated having people behind her even more. She rolled her eyes as she flipped onto her back again. At least now she knew why it was so uncomfortable.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer the couch?” Fluttershy asked. “Sunset and I play video games here sometimes. It’s really comfy.”

Wallflower briefly glanced at the couch. It certainly looked far more plush than the stiff blue cushions of her own sofa. When her eyes flitted to the side, though, she saw the arm of the furniture, so similarly shaped to the one he'd pulled her over when he took her.

“No,” she said flatly.

Wallflower barely noticed as Fluttershy sat on the couch, too lost in her own self-resentment. She needed to stop sugarcoating it. He didn’t “take” her—he fucked her. After she sat with the thought for a moment, she frowned, running a hand down her face. Sunset had been spot-on when questioning if Wallflower preferred such a blunt word for the sake of downplaying what happened. She would say that Wallflower was still sugarcoating it, even if she was using such crude language. She would say that he didn’t “fuck” her, either, but Wallflower still couldn’t bring herself to accept the word Sunset had used.

All at once, Wallflower grimaced and turned away, resenting both the furniture and her choice of language. What did it matter what she called it? Both she and Sunset knew what had happened. Such descriptors only served a purpose when explaining it to someone else, something she was absolutely not okay with doing. She winced as her headache resumed its dull pounding.

“I don’t think lying on the floor was what the doctor meant when he said you needed rest,” Fluttershy said.

“I like laying on the floor. And besides, it’s not like I have a concussion,” Wallflower said, and immediately regretted saying anything. She just wanted Fluttershy to leave, and conversation would only delay that. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the apartment door, and a nervous chill settled in her chest.

“That’s true,” Fluttershy said. “Still, any head injury is serious business, especially if it was bad enough to make you pass out. Sleep will be important.”

Anxiety flared at the prospect of sinking back into the nightmares, forcing Wallflower to respond. “I don’t want to sleep,” she said, her voice breathless.

“Do you have nightmares?”

At that, Wallflower blinked in surprise. She barely turned, avoiding eye contact as she responded. “How did you know?”

“I used to have nightmares when I was younger,” Fluttershy said. “Not like ‘little kid’ younger, more like freshman year.” She brushed a few strands of long pink hair from her face. “They were so exhausting—people glaring, laughing, pushing me around... I had been at a private school until then, and the idea of going to a public high school like CHS was really scary. I didn’t really know anyone besides Rainbow Dash, and she was always so busy with sports. I guess all that anxiousness followed me to bed every night.”

Wallflower was silent for a moment. She wanted to be left alone, but having some company was nice too. For a moment she wished Sunset was awake, only to mentally groan at her own selfishness. Sunset had been so patient with her since the moment Wallflower had remembered what happened, but it was unfair to expect her to hold her hand every second of every day.

She took a deep breath, and then another. “How’d you make them stop?” she asked.

“They didn’t stop all at once,” Fluttershy said. “I had to learn to live with my anxiety, little by little. For me, that meant having animal friends instead of people friends, and eventually I found people friends too.” She lay down on the floor beside Wallflower. “Oh, you’re right. It is nice down here.”

Wallflower stared at the ceiling, allowing her eyes to lose focus. Talking with Fluttershy wasn’t as bad as she thought. A smile tugged at her lips, only for her expression to sink into despondence once more. “Yeah, well...” She felt her legs tense up, and she moved them together. “I guess laying on my back is my element.”

“What do you mean?” Fluttershy asked.

In the span of a second, adrenaline shot through Wallflower’s entire body. She should’ve known better than to say something like that—of course Fluttershy would be confused. Her heart thumped, rattling her head and worsening the aching feeling in her skull.

“It’s okay,” Fluttershy said. “You don’t have to tell me.”

“I-I...” Wallflower sucked in sharp, shallow breaths. Deep within her, as much as she hated to accept it, part of her wanted to tell Fluttershy what happened. As the fears of a pregnancy still faded, Wallflower found herself lost in her own mind. In all the time she had spent alone, she had dreamed of one day being able to open herself up to people who cared. Wouldn’t she be betraying her past self by throwing away the opportunity now?

“It’s alright, really,” Fluttershy said. Her voice dipped into a regretful softness. “I’m sorry if I upset you.”

“No, it’s... It’s fine,” Wallflower said, surprised at her own answer. “Just... I’m not used to this.”

Fluttershy turned her head. “Used to what?”

“Having someone to talk to,” Wallflower said.

“I know what you mean,” Fluttershy said. “I used to be so afraid of talking to anyone—I didn’t even want to say my own name.” She gave Wallflower a warm smile. “It is nice though, being able to speak my mind. I so often get lost in the clutter of ‘what-ifs,’ or beating myself up over silly mistakes no one else even noticed. Talking to my friends about those helps me clear my head.”

“Yeah...” Wallflower sighed. “That does sound nice.”

“I know we’re not as close as you and Sunset are, but if there’s anything you want to talk about...”

“Part of me does want to, but it’s... I dunno, difficult for me, I guess,” Wallflower said. “I only just started talking with Sunset, and already she’s taken me into her home. She’s so patient with me, so understanding...” She exhaled slowly. “I feel like I’m taking advantage of her just by being here.”

“Is it alright if I ask why she invited you to stay with her?” Fluttershy asked.

Wallflower shifted beneath another pang of anxiousness. “S-someone... Someone really hurt me,” she said.

“I thought so,” Fluttershy said. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

Wallflower looked away. “You don’t even know what they did,” she muttered.

“I don’t know for sure,” Fluttershy said. “After helping Sunset get you to the hospital, though, I do have a guess.”

“What?” Wallflower felt her heart stop. “H-how could you...?”

Fluttershy held Wallflower’s gaze, her eyes soft and unsure. “Are you sure you are okay with talking about it?”

After a shudder, Wallflower gave a wordless nod, unsure of what was compelling her to do so.

“When Sunset called me...” Fluttershy glanced up at the loft. “I’d never heard her so scared before. I’d never heard anyone that scared. Of course, I rushed over here immediately, and I live close by so it didn’t take long.”

Wallflower felt her heart sinking as she looked up at the loft. Sunset had been so good to her, and she had repaid that kindness by almost killing herself and leaving Sunset terrified.

“When I got here, she had you in the bathroom,” Fluttershy said. “She was trying to clean the blood off your face, even though... Well, I don’t think she knew what else to do.”

With a hitched breath, Wallflower blinked away tears. She imagined Sunset screaming desperately into her phone, pleading with Fluttershy for help. How could she have put Sunset in such a horrible situation?

She felt a reassuring hand on her shoulder, but she didn’t flinch. “It’s okay, Wallflower,” Fluttershy said. “The only reason Sunset was that afraid was because she cares so much. I know it hurts to hear about it, but I think in the end, some good can come out of it for you.”

Wallflower allowed her muscles to relax just the slightest bit. “How is scaring someone who cares about me a good thing?” she asked.

“I know what it’s like to think someone only helps you out of pity,” Fluttershy said. “For years, I thought Rainbow Dash only stood up for me because she felt bad for me. It’s a difficult feeling to get away from.” She smiled at Wallflower. “At least now you know for certain that she really does care about you. That’s a valuable thing.”

“Maybe,” Wallflower sighed. “That just makes me feel worse about being a freeloader.”

“I don’t think she sees it that way,” Fluttershy said. “Helping a friend isn’t some kind of exchange. Sunset only wants you to recover after what happened.”

Wallflower rolled over, and Fluttershy’s hand slid off her shoulder. “If you really knew what happened, you’d know it isn’t something I’m going to ‘recover’ from.”

“Again, I don’t know for sure,” Fluttershy said. “And I won’t ask you about it.”

“You already did,” Wallflower said, “whether or not you realized it. I just didn’t answer.”

Fluttershy looked confused. “I don’t remember. I’m sorry for that, then. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“Y’know, talking with you is a lot easier than I thought it would be.” Wallflower shifted on the floor, sighing. “And if I’m being honest, there’s a part of me that is okay with you knowing, but it’s like we’re at this stalemate, dancing around a question neither of us want to ask.” She forced herself to look Fluttershy in the eye. “Do you want me to tell you?”

“I want to help you, just like Sunset does,” Fluttershy said. “I think I’d be able to do that a lot better if I know for certain what happened.”

Wallflower felt her muscles twitch, and she shut her eyes. “Yes or no,” she said. Her voice was flat and cold, and her words sounded more like a demand than a question.

“...Yes,” Fluttershy said. “If you’ll tell me.”

After a deep breath, Wallflower spoke. “I’ll ask you. What do you think happened?”

With a sigh, Fluttershy glanced at the bathroom door. “When I was helping Sunset move you out of the bathroom, there was blood and glass everywhere, and I saw something on the counter.” Her face fell, and her voice was barely above a whisper. “A pregnancy test,” she said.

The words sparked another burst of anxiousness in Wallflower’s chest.

“You said someone really hurt you...” When Fluttershy looked up at Wallflower, there were tears in her eyes. “You meant someone forced himself on you.”

Time seemed to slow as Wallflower processed what she’d heard. Fluttershy knew the whole time they had been talking. Anger flared for the shortest of seconds, only to be smothered by grim resignation.

“I don’t know what to call it,” Wallflower said. Hot tears streamed down her face as she turned, staring at the ceiling. “Or, that’s not—I do know what to call it, but I-I feel like I c-can’t say the word...”

“I know,” Fluttershy said. “You don’t have to.”

Wallflower looked at her through brown eyes blurred by tears. “It’s n-never gonna go away,” she said. “I can’t make myself forget it anymore, not without the memory stone.” Her voice rose, trembling as she cried. “Every second of every d-day, I’ll have to—!”

“Shhh, let’s keep our voices down,” Fluttershy said, pointing at the loft. “She’s had a long day.”

Wallflower’s face went red beneath her tears. “Right, s-sorry,” she said.

“It’s alright.”

“Uhm, I don’t...” Wallflower turned away, lying on her side. “I don’t really want to talk about what happened, actually.”

“That’s okay,” Fluttershy said. “I appreciate you trusting me enough to tell me at all. And of course, I promise I won’t tell anyone, even if Rarity tries to pull some gossip out of me.”

“Please don’t...”

“You don’t have to worry,” Fluttershy gave her a small smile.

“Sunset said she wouldn’t tell anyone either, and... I guess she didn’t. She’s been so good to me...” Wallflower whimpered. “She h-hasn’t left my side since I remembered, but I...” She trailed off, looking up at the loft. “I just feel s-so worthless, like I'm a burden on her,” she said.

Fluttershy shook her head. “Don’t say that, please.”

“It’s true though,” Wallflower said. “Ever since she started talking to me, all I’ve done is make her life more difficult and given her more things to worry about.” She held up her hand when Fluttershy opened her mouth. “I know what you’re gonna say—that her helping me isn’t an exchange. Maybe she doesn’t think I need to give back, but I want to.” Wallflower wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “Otherwise I’ll just keep feeling worse.”

“If it would make you feel better, then maybe you should,” Fluttershy said.

“But I don’t have anything,” Wallflower groaned. “I have almost no possessions, no money, no anything...”

“You have yourself,” Fluttershy said.

At that, Wallflower turned her head. “What’s that mean?”

“Rarity once told me that too often, we believe that giving someone something means giving them, you know, something. Something they can hold, like a gift. But it doesn’t have to be.”

“I don’t get it,” Wallflower said. “It’s not like I can take her to the zoo or whatever. I don’t have any money, and even if I did, I don't want to be around people.”

“Well not the zoo,” Fluttershy said, her words harder than usual. “Zoos are awful.”

Wallflower sat up and looked away. “Uhm... Sorry, then. But I still don’t get what you mean by giving her ‘myself.’”

“No need to apologize,” Fluttershy said. “And I did word it confusingly, I guess. What I meant was, if you two are going to be living together for a while, you can give her the gift of your company.”

Wallflower sighed, frowning. “I don’t know how to be good company,” she said.

“For Sunset, I think company at home is good company. She has a lot of friends, but I’ve always gotten the impression that she feels lonely. Living alone can’t be easy.”

“It really isn’t,” Wallflower muttered.

“I think having you stay with her will be good for both of you,” Fluttershy said. When Wallflower gave her an incredulous look, she continued. “You don’t have to be her best friend overnight or anything, and you don’t have to pretend to be okay when you’re not. Just do what you can, when you can.”

“I mean...” Wallflower’s eyes rose to the loft. “It sounds nice, but I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

“Just little things, whatever you’re comfortable with,” Fluttershy said. “Maybe you could start a garden on the windowsill or cook something for dinner on the nights she has work. She wants to take care of you, Wallflower—maybe you can take care of her, too.”

Wallflower hugged herself, giving Fluttershy a sullen look. “I can’t even take care of myself,” she said.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t try to take care of someone else,” Fluttershy said.

“I-I don’t know...” Wallflower turned away. “She’s so nice to me and—and I really do want to give back somehow, but I don’t even know what she likes. And after what happened, I’m s-such a mess and crying all the time...”

“I know it’s hard,” Fluttershy said, giving Wallflower a sad smile. “It’s going to be hard for a while longer. I think doing something for Sunset might make it a little easier, though. Maybe it’ll be a good distraction.”

“Nnnngghh...” Wallflower sat against the wall, curling her legs to her chest. “I don’t know,” she said.

“You don’t have to know right now,” Fluttershy said, standing up. “She’s under a lot of stress, so maybe you can think of some way to make her feel better, even just a little." She stretched, wrinkling her nose. "Rarity’s all about incense nowadays, though personally I think they’re just smelly.”

Wallflower stared at her legs, brushing away another tear. Something to make her feel better...

“I’m sure you’ll think of something nice,” Fluttershy said, yawning. “If it’s alright with you, I’m going to head home. I have quite a few fuzzy friends who are waiting for dinner.”

“Y-yeah, okay,” Wallflower said. “Thank you. For talking with me, I mean.”

“Any time.” Fluttershy smiled at her. “I think it’s very sweet that you want to do something for Sunset. I’m sure no matter what it is, she’ll appreciate it, and you.”

Wallflower silently looked up at the loft, where the softest of snores were echoing over the balcony.

“Oh, and Wallflower?”

After a moment, her eyes blinked back into focus. “What is it?” she asked.

“I really am sorry that you had to go through something so horrible,” Fluttershy said.

Wallflower didn’t answer, instead hiding her face behind her long hair.

“I’m sure you won’t believe me right now, but you’re very brave. I hope one day you realize just how much.”

“Yeah...” Wallflower kept her face hidden. “Thanks.”

“Sunset gave me a spare key, so I can stop by if you need anything,” Fluttershy said. “Please do try to get some rest. Have a good evening, okay?” There was another moment of silence, and then Wallflower heard the door close and the click of the lock.

For a while, Wallflower didn’t move from her spot on the floor. She looked up at the balcony, squinting at the lights above it. Sunset’s slumbering was still just loud enough to be heard on the bottom floor. If not for her fear of the nightmares, Wallflower would have gladly gone to bed early as well.

When she stood, her legs were shaky. While she knew she would have to sleep eventually, there were definitely still a few hours before Sunset woke up. Even if she did want to rest now, there was no way Wallflower was going to sleep on the couch. She trudged her way to the tiny kitchen and poured herself some water.

After glancing at the clock, Wallflower sighed. The idea of being alone with her thoughts for the next several hours was less than pleasant, but maybe Fluttershy was right. Maybe Wallflower could distract herself by doing something nice for Sunset, if only she could figure out what. She pondered over what Fluttershy had told her about giving the gift of herself, and suddenly her mind was buzzing with old rumors at school and the disapproving glares of her parents.

Wallflower sipped her water and sat back down on the floor. It was going to be a long night, and she had a lot to think on.

Author's Note

Crossover with Sunset's Isekai takes place after this chapter, and can be read here!