John Sampson's Story

It’s that damned noise again! The screech of it is tearing my ears apart but Swift is on top of me and our hearts are still linked. She starts to roll off of me so I clutch her to me, holding on for dear life.

“John, what’s the matter? You know we have to get up.”

“I never want to be separated from you ever again.”

“Silly stallion. We can’t be separated. Now let me turn that noise off.”

I loosen my grip and she slips away off to the side of the bed. I roll and sit up on the other side of the bed feeling my chest. There’s no blood or injury, just the same old skin. But then I feel her. With back turned and eyes closed I know that Swift is right there and moving that way. The world is the way it should be.

“Swift, why did I wait so long to do this?”

“Because you couldn’t until you finished turning into a pony?”

“I like this. I think I’ll make some tea.”

As I fumble about the kitchen, “Swift, what do you think of Colt? Specifically, do you think he can handle a complicated clerk’s job?”

“John, one of his biggest problems is that he is too much of a bookworm. He volunteered for the squad so he could feel like he is doing something important. He made it through the training on sheer guts. If you could find him a clerk job that made a difference, he would be in heaven. His full name is Berry Blush.”

“Good deal. I think I’ve got one for him.”

Otherwise today is pretty much a duplicate of yesterday except I dressed in new cammies and I had a new heart. When we made it to the cafeteria I ordered three eggs, toast, and strawberries. Corporal Red Dawn was sitting with his back to us so I walked by him and turned, “Mind if we sit here?”

He shot up out of his chair like somepony had shoved a rocket up his butt. “Yes, Sir! . . . I mean, No, Sir.”

“Sit, Red Dawn.” And we sat opposite him. “Do you see any uniform or insignia on me?”

“No, Sir.”

“’No, John.’ I have staff rank because I am the single individual in Equestria that has even heard of several foreign powers. In case something goes wrong I will stand next to the commanders and tell them what I know of the enemy. I’ve never held a sword or worn armor in my life. It’s why you’ll see me talking to Royals too. I had an appointment yesterday and I have one today so I’ll wear my uniform and rank after PT. Until then I’m John, a lost traveler.”

“What about the Captain?”

“Captain Swift Trail is my keeper. She’s a friend too but her primary job is to keep me from screwing up. It is being discussed if I can be sent through Basic. Being human, absolutely nothing comes in my size.”

When we entered the gym I turned to Red Dawn and said, “If you have any suggestions that might let me push myself, I’m interested.”

“I’ll think about that,” he smiled.

I started on pushups and jacks again while Red Dawn walked into a small ambush by several ponies his age.

Then I decided to get creative again. I put a deadpony on each end of a barbell and went jogging with it on my shoulders. After about five laps I was sweating a little so I racked the weights and went looking at the machines. They all seemed about right for finger exercises but I found a big rope like you would use for a tug of war. Taking it with me, I went to where Red Dawn and his friends were doing calisthenics. “Hey Red Dawn. I need a challenge. How many of your friends can you get on this rope?”

Seven of them jumped up so we moved to the open floor and stretched the rope. Red Dawn looked and me and said, “It doesn’t matter how strong you are, John. We outweigh you.”

I wrapped the rope across my waist and set my feet. Somepony called “Go!” and they started pulling. As Red Dawn predicted, my feet began to slide on the floor. Something inside me said ‘NO!’ and I felt power pulse through my legs and feet. I stopped moving. Then I took a step. They were sliding now. As I concentrated it got easier and I began striding across the floor with eight ponies in tow. Nearing a rack of weights, I stopped.

“Hey Red Dawn, that all the friends you got?” We had most of the gym watching us by then. Six more ponies volunteered and we laid the rope out again. The same Unicorn called “GO!” again. This time the rope didn’t move either way. I leaned into it hard and still it didn’t move. There a loud ‘crack’ and I stumbled forward holding a slack rope.

The Unicorn that was judging looked at me and said, “You have Earth pony magic. I saw it that time.”

“Are you sure?”

Now we have a very puzzled Unicorn, “How could you not know?”

“This is just my second day as a pony.”

“What did you say, John Sampson?”

“I just took my Oath two days ago and it took full effect yesterday so I’m still learning how to be a pony.”

There was complete silence. The Unicorn looked carefully at me and asked, “Was that Oath in the Royal Court two mornings ago?”

“Yes.”

“John Sampson, that was Alicorn level magic.”

“Well, of course. There were three Alicorns in the room and Celestia Herself accepted it.”

“No, John. The strength of an oath is purely the strength of the oath taker. That was all you.”

“Huh? . . . You have most certainly given me something to think about. Right now I need to go apologize to Colonel Steel Will for breaking his rope. I want to thank you all for the challenge. Maybe we’ll think up another one.”

I headed for the showers and felt Swift coming from other side of the gym. This linked heart thing could be handy. With the shower done and my uniform on we stepped back out to the gym and found every pony in the place lined up on either side of the door holding salute. I blinked and returned salute, striding purposely to and out the main door.

The Company Clerk was waiting for us. She opened the door into the Colonels office and gestured. We stepped through and she closed the door behind us.

“Major. Why are you tormenting my NCOs?

“Sir, I was trying to rebrand myself as a harmless academic. It didn’t really work out. And I owe you a rope.”

“A rope, Major?”

“The big rope in the gym that’s used for tug of war games. I broke it.”

“Just as a matter of curiosity, what were you doing when it broke?”

“We were having a tug of war. Me and fourteen other ponies. I learned something. The Unicorn judging said I was using Earth pony magic.”

“John, I’m going to verify that. Stand still.” So I stood and his horn lit for several minutes. “John, you are positively loaded with raw magic but the only Earth pony magic I can detect is on your heart. Congratulations.”

“Thank, you2,” Swift and I said in perfect unison.

“Now that you are married, I can set you up with an apartment in the Guard Sector almost as big as where you are now though a lot more practical. Let me know when you are ready.”

“Celestia put us there so we would be convenient for Princesses but we’re spending all our time back here. I’ll be asking Her about it sometime soon.

“I have another favor to ask of you. I need a Private. Specifically, I need a youngster from Swift’s old squad named Berry Blush. It take at least a month to gauge how well he’s working out and if he does like I think he will, he’ll be permanent.”

“No problem. Do you need an office too?”

“Let me reach stability first.” I said.

“Just let me know when you’re ready for him.”

“Right now we have a Princess to meet. Thank you, sir”

We paused in the clerk’s office long enough to change our status.

Twilight was ready when we got there so we just looped through her door and headed for the doctor’s office. My favorite nurse was behind the counter and had my clipboard waiting. I pointed out my entourage and told her to advise the doctor that Twilight would be consulting due to a major magical event that had happened yesterday. She didn’t even blink.

An hour of forms later I was sent to Imaging. A young Unicorn mare set me against a white wall adjusting padded brackets on the wall to hold me in place. Then she brought over a drafting table with a stack of large sheets of paper on it. Her eyes got a far away look and her horn lit. Suddenly pencils started flying on the table. As the first sheet of paper rolls over the front of the table and I catch a glimpse of a human skeleton sketched there. Nearly an hour later a very tired Unicorn drops the pencils and steps back. On the table is an image of every organ and major system in my body with color contrast. I knew some human doctors that would die for this.

A young Pegasus came in, picked up the paper, and left quickly. I was sent back out to the waiting room. After a few minutes a nurse called my name and led us to a room in the back. “Please remove all clothing and jewelry and lay on the table.” ‘The table’ being a padded platform about six inches off the floor. I got sneaky and rolled my pants up to use as a pillow. Swift and Twilight began a spirited criticism of my anatomy.

About thirty minutes later, “Good morning. I’m Doctor Red Duke. What brings us here today?”

I looked up and just started laughing.

“My, we are certainly happy this morning.”

“I’m sorry Doctor. I knew a Doctor Red Duke in my previous life. The contrast of appearance is astounding.” This Doctor Duke is a very small middle aged Unicorn mare with a striking yellow coat. “That Doctor Duke was known as one of the very best physicians alive.”

“I’ll try to live up to your expectations. Now, why are we here today?”

“First, the Guard and the Princesses want to know as much as they can about humans. Me being the first one and co-operative it seems mostly a matter of recording baseline information on everything about me. Second, I want you to have as much information as possible about what humans are suppose to look and act like in case you ever have to put me back together. Third, we would like to know just how much of a pony I am becoming. I’m having ‘unusual’ magic experiences.”

“That seems easy enough. Let’s start with your heart. Do you know where humans normally have their pulse read?”

“The inner surface of the wrist is most convenient and where the neck joins the body is most reliable. My heart rate at this moment is resting normal.”

“She felt around my wrist for a moment then called out “Fifty. You seem a little cool.”

“Normal human body temperature is slightly lower than equine.”

“Lets see what you sound like.”

Placing a cocked ear just above my chest, she scowled, “Bring me his chart.” A nurse rushed in.

Studying the paper for a second, “As I thought, your records are inaccurate. We’ll have to do them all over again.”

Another day of paper blizzard? Not happening. “Doctor, what are you talking about?”

“You have a very obvious ‘ghost heartbeat’. That means you are married by heart bonding. The sign in papers you filled out are clearly marked ‘single’. I don’t think you could have failed to notice the ceremony so something is off about your papers. The only sure way to correct that is to do them again and compare.”

Focus. “Doctor, there is another way. You might try asking me. You see, your system is such a clusterfuck that I was single when I filled out that part of the form. By the time I got in here I had been married.”

“I’m sorry, Major, that just won’t do. There are too many possible inaccuracies. We have to be sure.”

Command voice: “Captain Red Duke, you are ordered to finish this examination by assuming that I know more about my body than you do. You will speak with Princess Twilight and I as though we we understand the inner workings of my body and magic. Do you understand me?”

“YES SIR!”

Damned, what a time for an itch. “Captain Red Duke, you will speculate with Captain Swift Trail and myself on the possibility of my siring a foal. You will remember that I have a fair grasp genetics and reproductive biology. Do you understand me?”

“YES SIR!”

It’s itching really good now but I’m ignoring it. “Captain Red Duke, in a few days time I will bring a young clerk to you. You will assign a competent nurse to work with this clerk. I will instruct them in human methods of data handling. You will oversee their work to insure medical accuracy. I will oversee the technical aspects. We will construct a sensible system to allow ponies to obtain medical care in a timely manner. Do you understand me?”

“YES SIR!”

“John?”

“A few more seconds Swift.”

Damned that itches! “Captain Red Duke, you will do this because when it is successful, I will insist that you receive full credit and a promotion to Major so that you can teach this system across Equestria and benefit all ponies. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, Sir?”

“Now Swift.”

“What does that symbol mean?”

“What symbol, Swift?”

“It’s several different shaped boxes connected by lines and arrows.”

“That sounds like a flow chart.”

“What does it mean, John?”

“It’s a kind of human technology that is used to organize action and/or information. It’s what I want to teach this Doctor. Where did you see this?”

“On your flank.”